A Rustic Porch for Christmas!
Sophisticated Decorating with Laundry Baskets and Underwear
When I was growing up we never had a laundry basket in the house. That’s because we were so privileged and averse to any form of manual labour that we simply threw our dirty clothes in the woodland forest behind our house and had Yves (St. Laurent) make us new stuff.
By the time I was 8, the pile was so high we could ski down it in the winter. My skis were made of diamonds and if I ever fell down and cut myself, gold coins spewed out of me instead of blood.
No wait. That was Richie Rich.
We never did have a laundry basket, but it was because we had a great big wine barrel instead. That’s where all the dirty clothes got thrown. A great big wine barrel in the basement. Actually, chances are it wasn’t a “fancy wine barrel”, but probably a whiskey barrel. I wish I could say at this point, No wait. That was the Clampetts. But it wasn’t. It was us. Our dirty bloomers were kept in a whiskey barrel. And sometimes my mom sent me to school with Sandwich Spread sandwiches. Nothing else. Just bread and sandwich spread. She also used to make me play with a potato. To this day she insists it was a legitimate toy.
From the moment I was born until the day I moved out, that wine barrel acted as our laundry basket. And I’m sure my mother will refute this, but we never actually got to the bottom of the barrel. There was one grungy old tea towel at the bottom of it, that in 25 years never got washed. It’s true. Believe me, not my mother. My mother’s a notorious liar.
So when I visited my mother in the summer to borrow some money, or tell her how much I disliked her multi coloured quilted jacket, or some other daughterly thing, I was rattled to my core when I saw the barrel out for the garbage. THE GARBAGE! I rescued that barrel, shoved it in my car and took it home. What kind of nut case gets rid of a perfectly good whiskey/wine barrel/laundry hamper?
I stuck the barrel on my porch and put a Boston fern in it. It’s winter now. The fern died. Barrel’s sad and empty. I have to refrain from throwing underwear and tea towels in there.
Losing the fern turned out for the best actually, because the same way my mother got sick of her wine barrel, I got sick of my normal birch log planters in the backyard. I grabbed those birch logs and dragged them out to the front porch. Same logs, different place. And I love them again. Often times you can instantly fall in love with things you’re sick of just by moving them. Your bowels are a perfect example.
So this year for Christmas I changed everything up. Everything. I used all the same stuff I already owned, I just used it in different ways, in different places. I’m feeling a pull towards a very farm-like, rustic Christmas this year. It’s probably the chickens. It’s definitely the chickens. Chickens DON’T like wearing Christmas hats by the way. Just so you know.
Here we go … picture time. No explanation necessary I don’t think, so here, at this point I bid you adieu for the day.
HOLD YOUR HORSE AND BUGGIES! I do have something else to say. It’s almost impossible to get a picture of my front door because there are two porch pillars right in front of it. So … sorry for that. AND, when I got inside and started reviewing and editing my pictures at night, I realized I completely and totally forgot to make and put up a door swag. No wreath this year … a rustic swag. Looking at the door, I’m not sure I need it now. Opinions? Not that I’ll listen to you. I rarely listen to anyone … but just for fun … opinions?
redz
Dangit Karen – how do you manage to make the most mundane materials absolutely magnificent??? I don’t know, but’s what I call ‘stupid clever:’ when something is so cute/gorgeous/clever/amazing/beyond fantabulous that you’re completely gobsmacked over it.
You, Karen, are blessed with being stupid clever, in the very best sense.
I, however, am just blessed with being stupid when it comes to things like this.
I do have a cute little chair I found free by our dumpster sitting out on my front stoop. Can you throw me a clue for that?
Patty
Hi! I am new to your feed and I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing. I work at home on the computer all day so no one around to talk to and reading your posts really entertains me. I am pretty creative myself when it comes to other people’s junk so I love reading your ideas. I was especially happy to find your instructions on making the table out of a tree trunk as I just had a 30 ft pine tree cut down and have some beautiful pieces. The only problem is they weigh as much as an elephant! Keep writing! I am sure everyone else enjoys you as much as I!
Karen
Thanks Patty! I’m glad you found the site. ~ karen!
evie @ brown paper packages
Nope. Keep it. :)
It looks beautiful!!
evie
Karen
Thanks Evie. I shall consider your opinion carefully. I’ll probably leave it as is. I’ve run out of greenery and energy. :) ~ karen!
Pati
I love it,Karen ! I think you did a BANG UP job decorating rustically… ;o)
evie @ brown paper packages
Ooops…I think I’m a ding dong. I thought you were talking about whether or not you should keep the garland. Duh! Keep the garland…I don’t think you need anything on the door!! :)
Marti
I have no opinions about your decorating. But I do have one thought. This was some of the funniest writing you’ve done in awhile. Feel like I’ve been going along on Hershey Bars and suddenly got a Zotz thrown in.
WOOHOO! Karen’s on a tear! EXCELLENT POST!
I’m done now.
Karen
Marti – Thank your lucky stars you get any funny at all. 5 “articles” a week is a LOT. I’m thinking of going down to one. One written post and then 4 days of pictures of my feet. ~ karen
Marti
Are your feet that funny? I mean… looks aren’t everything, right?
my honest answer
I’ve just cut down to three and my traffic has improved. Wierd, I know, but I think my writing improved because I spend more time on each post. I dunno, it’s just my 2 cents.
From a selfish point of view I would miss you though!
Stephanie
Chickens don’t like wearing jackets, either. One of mine was plucked by the neighbor’s dog and now has a bald spot on her back and because she won’t wear the festive jacket I made her now she has to sleep in the house because it’s 10 degrees out. I should buy stock in Clorox wipes.
Oh, and you don’t need a wreath. Your door is lovely. Cheers!
Karen
Stephanie – That was a sad story. Beware of dogs apparently! Um. Where does the chicken sleep that she doesn’t fly all over? ~ karen
Stephanie
She sleeps in the mudroom, and sounds very mournful- I never would have believed the sad sounds that a chicken can make (I think she misses her sisters). She’s just lucky that the dog is very old and can’t do much more than pull feathers out. It’s the second time it’s happened but it’s her fault, she keeps jumping the fence. Last time it didn’t take too long for the feathers to grow back, though.
Tricia Rose
I think your mother was ahead of her time with the whisky barrel.
Karen Eggleston
Have you considered crochet capes for the chickens?
Karen
Karen – Well, of *course* I have! ~ karen
Lori
Like it the way it is don’t change a thing!!!
Anemone
I absolutely love your design. Your front porch is beautiful. It really is rustic and farmlike. Wow. I was wondering if that is a black door mat. And if so it looks familiar. Anyway, i bought a mat just like that (if it is) at a particular Hbc store.
Kate S
The boots really add a nice touch, all together I think my favourite part is the stack of logs with their pretty topper. Though I have grown to hate coloured Christmas lights, I will let this one pass.
~Kate
Karen
Kate S – Ooooo. See? I love coloured Christmas lights because no one has them anymore. Everyone has the white twinkle lights or the icicle lights. And you can’t get more old fashioned than coloured christmas lights. And as we all know … I’m an old fashioned gal. Um. Kind of. ~ karen
Susan
Beautiful!
Karen
Thanks Sue! ~ k
Laura
I think your mother is as crazy as my mother for putting that barrel to the curb. Nice! Just one more reason why our next home will have a porch, even if I have to build it myself – be warned, I’ll be asking you for advice!
RadioRedHead
Absolutely LOVED this post! You are too funny!
Also love the porch decor – no wreath required. I only WISH I was as organized as you, or took your perfectly good advice to get ready for the holidays early. (Haven’t started shopping yet). Sniff.
Let me know if you are ever interested in beautifying a fan’s home. (a girl can dream right?!). I have an EXTREMELY long porch that could use some of your creative touch. Well pretty much anything at my home could use a little Karen magic. *Sigh*
Deb
You don’t need it. But you aren’t going to listen to me anyway :P
xo
Brenda
Oh rustic is nice…looks wonderful.
Karen
Thanks Brenda! I was inspired by the chickens, as I said. It’s hard not to go rustic when you have chicken crap around. ~ karen
SK Farm Girl
K – I have a question! Where on earth do you people find these mutated, freak-of-nature, larger-than-life, on-steroid pinecones??? They are the size of Texas! I live along the fringe of the forest and we do not have freakish pinecones like that!! Would someone be willing to send me 1/2 dozen of those puppies! BTW – the door looks fabulous! Oak barrel looks grrrrrrreat – might create a shrunken version of that using old nail kegs! Here’s to the eggnog season – cheers! PS – How many of you grew up with a table used specifically for folding laundry? Was watching a show the other day and they couldn’t believe how a person could fold laundry without a table in the laundry room used specifically for folding laundry . . . oh the hardships!
Karen
SK – I bought the massive pine cones a few years ago at a garden centre. They were with all the Christmas stuff and they weren’t cheap. I can’t remember how much they were but I remember thinking *holy crap* I can’t believe I’m spending this much on pine cones. Having said that, they were probably only $5 each, but … I tend to be easy shocked when it comes to the price of stuff like this. ~ karen
cred
Farm Girl- I believe the super-sized ones are called Sugar pinecones- perhaps from the sugar pine? Anyhow, my dad brought me one back from Florida years ago- he found while out for a walk. He told me there were tons (why I only got one, I’m not sure) But I will be requesting a bunch this year.
So, if you have any Florida connections…..
Karen- Simply Lovely!!!
Shauna
They are indeed from Sugar Pines. They grow in the Sierras in California too, and every time my friend invites us to her cabin, I bring a couple back with me. Karen inspired me to get an acrylic block to display them upon — simple and beautiful!
Shari
It’s after December 4th – need I say more? ok, it actually does look lovely, so no need to break your x-mas pledge.
maggie
Wonderful Karen! Now about the sandwich spread sammies? We had those as kids to. I hated it but we were lucky we did not have to have it in our sandwiches we had to take mustard sandwiches instead but I loved those and still do. Just sayin.
Nicole2
Karen, you have the most humorous mind, and then you turn around and decorate beautifully, all with the same brain! I’m sooo impressed. And envious.
Chickens don’t like to wear hats, huh? Who knew? Good to know. Did you get bitten trying?
Karen
Nicole2 – Um. Maybe. :) ~ karen
marilyn
oh karen that was hilarious! i love betty! i too have one of those teatowels! only not in a whisky barrel / laundry hamper. but i do have a laundry chute! yup ! a hole in the floor in the closet in the bathroom! just chuck those dirty clothes down that hole and boom! just like that you’ve saved yourself a trip down those treacherous basement stairs with a basket full of wash.every house should have one.i love the rustic look and the reincarnation of the laundry barrel…bet betty wants it back now!
Babie Knoop
I still want to know why your mother got “rid” of the wine barrel?
PS: Front door looks FAB leave it. :)
Langela
I think it looks good as is, Karen. I also think it would look even better on my porch. However, if yours goes missing it probably wasn’t me that took it. Probably.
BTW, where do you get all your greenery? Is any of it real? It looks so full and beautiful.
Karen
Langela – All the greenery is real. The stuff in the barrel is blue spruce, which I cut from my own overgrown bushes. It’s on top of the stack of wood too. The white pine garland around the door is also real. I bought it for $9.99. ~ karen!
Langela
Do you order it or get it locally? Something like that around here would run about $30!
Karen
Just at the garden centre. Must be our Northern climate. Fresh boughs and branches are everywhere this time of year. ~ k!
Rachel
No need for the swag… the challenge of all decorating is knowing when to stop!
Brigid
No swag, it takes away from the relaxed, rustic look you’re going for.
And for God’s sake! put a nasty, dirty old tea towel in the bottom of that barrel and fuhgetaboutit. The barrel will thank you for giving it back an old friend!
Mary
Looks fantastic,
Love it!
Jen A
Niiiiiiice … reeeeeally niiiiiiiice.
Louise
I think you should be a stand-up comic ;) That being said, your porch looks fantastic.
Hope
No wreath…let the barrel shine this year! I will need to share with my husband what “the chicken lady” (our name for you – as he loved following the chicken posts. ) has been up too. Maybe he can cut me some birch poles too!
Jeanne
My mother made me Sandwich Spread Sandwiches also!!!
Love hearing stories about growing up, way back when,(not implying age). Love your decorating with
whats on hand, just laying around the yard. Nothing on the door. Maybe a little green attached to the top of the light fixture, just left of the door?
Good job..as always. Thanks for your efforts.
kate
Your doorway/entry is winsom and charming – how wonderful to have inspirational chickens! However, your question puts me in mind of the Sesame street song ‘One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesnt’ belong”.
For not belonging, I pick the big fluffy swag above the door (not the garland of boughs that define the sides and top of the door) as being ‘out of place.’ All the other decorations have boughs and pinecones and white lights and then there is: ‘The Swag’ – all colored lights with the wires hanging out, red bows, and what looks like artificial greenry. The key thing is do you like it?? Do the chickens like it?? Does the fella like it?? That’s all that matters. Enjoy, enjoy.
After all, you asked.
Karen
kate – The picture is deceiving. The entire house is trimmed with greenery (yes artificial because there’s probably at least 200 feet of it, and coloured lights. All the windows have garland with coloured lights swagged arounnd them. The garland and coloured lights you’re seeing is part of that. It’s swags around the entire roof of the front porch. The side of the house, where coloured lights surround the windows have window boxes. In the window boxes are the white lights swirled all in with greenery. So there is a connection, you just can’t see it. :) ~ karen
kate
WOW! I had no idea! 200 feet you say?
I shoulda known.
Patricia
You first made me spew milk out of my nose reading, “your bowels are a perfect example.” and THEN you made my mouth drop open when I saw your porch!! You make my inflatable penguin and pink flamingos look tacky. tee hee
christyl
You are so dang talented. I am not worthy. maybe a red bow on the door?
Bea
THis is lovely just the way it is! You make me want to be more creative!!
Bea
Oh… how do you know chickens don’t like those little hats?
Karen
Um. Just trust me. :) ~ karen
KatyKazoo
I see I am the only one who is disappointed that this post is not about making a rustic pouch. Sigh.
Robyn
LOL! Looks like I’m not the only one who had milk spew out my nose while reading your post! Hilarious! Love your writing and your pics too!
Nancy
I love white birch trees..thinking of planting a couple in the back yard..and I too want some of those huge pine cones..It all looks picture perfect Karen..you don’t need to add anything..
Holly
Decorating the porch. Novel idea! I should try that. It looks great and the whiskey barrel is a great addition. I need something to distract me from the hideous inflatables on my neighbors’ lawns. A 10′ Grinch doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I walk out my front door. P.S. My chickens are much on outerwear either, but I still want to make them ponchos anyway.
Ginger
Stunning. You are so lucky to have those birch branches. Love it all. Glad you rescued it!
paula
Karen, sandwich spread sandwiches! You guys must have been rich, we only got margarine spread sandwiches, and a plastic cheese slice if we were lucky!
Your house looks awesome, don’t change a thing! Loving the birch poles especially. :)
Erin Hall {i can craft that}
i think you should swag it.
Did you go all rustic and find your birch logs and branches or did you buy them.
Karen
Found em. Cut the logs down 3 years ago at the cottage from rotting birch trees. ~ k!
mimiindublin
Lol re have to refrain from throwing underwear in the barrell!
You could put underwear on the door?
Noooooooo! It looks gorgeous and minimalist as is.
Del
We didn’t have a laundry basket either, but I never knew how deprived we were until I watched American TV (Leave It to Beaver etc.) I don’t have a laundry basket these days either – old habits die hard – so there you go. Rustic is nice, love the lights, you can never have too many lights. Well done.
Gig
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheryl in Wisconsin
I love your door knocker. I am a huge fan of door knockers, don’t know what prompted it, really. My front door has a lion’s head, my bathroom door has an Amish man’s head, there are several more scattered throughout my house…but I digress.
We had to have a laundry basket when I was young or our cat would not have had anywhere to sleep.
I second the crocheted capes for your chickens, it would make them feel special.
And my immense front porch has but one artificial greenery garland hanging from my porch light. It was meant to be a pathetic cry for help, but so far I have not received a satisfying amount of pity. Half of every strand of lights I pulled out this year didn’t work so I staged a decorating coup, and so far nobody’s noticed.
Carol
Absolutelyy LOVE it Karen,,,no swag needed! I always feel a strong pull towards farm-like rustic and I don’t have any chickens. : ) About 15 years ago I bought a a bunch of those gigantic sugar pine cones, still use them every winter in a large wide rim black bowl – they’re my favorite. ~ C
Karen
Thanks Carol! – I was just wondering where you were yesterday! Haven’t see any Tweets from you. Must be busy designing! ~ karen!
Kat
Love the story of the barrel, love it on your porch, but really love that bokeh shot of your front door. Until a year ago I had no clue what bokeh was, now I just like to use it whenever possible so that I sound like a “real” photographer…well at least when I write it anyway since I have no clue how to pronounce it correctly!
I have all of my fingers and toes crossed in hopes of winning your giveaway from Rough Linen, love Tricia and her wares! I tried to get my dogs to cross their paws but they said they have no use for a tablecloth…#*&$ dogs!
Kat :)
ev
Door looks great, as do the barrel and the wintery logs. You are very artistic and I sure do enjoy your posts, especially the humor! Thanks Karen!
Karen
No problem ev! ~ karen
KittyCardea
Yay for using old things fabulously!
Gayla T
I’m a bit late commenting on this but of course you would know I’d have an opinion. Actually, I’m torn. Being a retired floral designer I want you to make a swag. As a snoopy old lady I want to know what happened to the pots with the lit up globes and sticks? I thought those where by your front door. Your door is so dark, does greenery even show up? Mine is brown too and I really had to punch up my fall wreath. I haven’t put up my Christmas one yet but it may need some work, too. I am wondering if I’m writing to a dead woman. If I were your mom you would be by now but she is probably used to you by now. Any hooo, the swaggy stuff with the lights is ok but I can’t imagine you letting yourself get by with ok. Can’t wait to see if I’m right. LOL
Maureen
If you ever need to put a sweater on a chicken (hey this stuff happens!) go to http://www.cobblehillsanimalsanctuary. My daughter runs a rescue farm and takes in hens from battery farms. They have no feathers and all wear sweaters until they grow some. She can answer all your pressing chicken questions!
Amy
Okay, so I’m at work reading all of your blogs. Yes, this is me working oh so hard! But I found myself having to hold back my laughter! Thank you so much for that! You crack me up and have very creative ideas! I love it!!!
Karen
Thanks Amy! Tell all your friends. Now back to work slacker. (and by work I mean reading my posts) ;) ~ karen