Last night my boyfriend asked me go grab him a bar of soap before he jumped into the shower. Apparently he couldn't get it himself because he was naked and didn't want to go wandering around the house with the blinds open whilst naked.
I don't know why not. He does it all the time. Men, I'm convinced would grocery shop, mow the lawn and change their oil naked if they thought it wouldn't involve a trip to the local police station afterwards. And whether they have a good body or not has absolutely no bearing on their decision to prance around naked. Where women have disproportionately poor body images, men have equally disproportionate inflated body images.
This gut? This one here? Show's I'm determined! And that I always clean my plate. And my beer bottle. And more importantly, I'm ready to dress up as the always hilarious pregnant nun at any given moment. Besides. "Outie's" are sexy.
What does this have to do with broccoli soup? Nothing. But it's a good story.
So I then asked my fella why he couldn't use the soap that was already in the shower? He picked up the 3 largeish slivers or soap from the soap dish and proclaimed "I do not use slivers!" before dramatically throwing them into the hair filled garbage can with a flourish.
It was at that point I informed the fellow that we didn't have any more bars of soap.
So he had to fish the soap out of the worst, most disgusting garbage in the house. The bathroom garbage. I felt kind of bad for him. It definitely took the wind out of his sails having to bathe with soap filled with ick.
The moral of this story? Don't read a broccoli soup recipe expecting to hear a story about broccoli soup.
What you can expect, however, is ... eventually ... a broccoli soup recipe. This one's perfect for a quick meal. There's no measuring, very few ingredients and it only takes about 15 minutes from beginning to end.
No Measure Broccoli Soup
Ingredients
1 bunch of broccoli
1 box of chicken broth (can use vegetable broth for you vegetarian types)
Salt & Pepper
Garlic Croutons
Cheddar Cheese (optional)
Half & half Cream (optional)
Get your broccoli ...
Get your broth ...
Put your box of broth in a pot and get it boiling.
Cut your broccoli up into bits.
Reserve some bits to add to the soup later.
Below are my "later" bits. I've cut them smaller than the rest of the broccoli which I'm going to make the soup out of.
Cook the "later" bits in the microwave for a couple of minutes, or steam them. They'll be added to the soup after it's blended.
If you don't like "bits" of stuff in your blended soup, skip this step.
Add your broccoli to your boiling broth. (Not your later bits, the bigger bits)
Throw in some salt and pepper. (no salt if your broth is already full of it)
When your broccoli is soft (not firm at all) drain the liquid.
Put your broccoli in a blender and blend away.
If you only have an immersion blender that's fine. Use it.
If you only have a potato masher, you're probably going to want to invest in an immersion blender.
Little by little add the broth that you drained until the soup is the consistency you want.
If you added the liquid in at the same time as the broccoli and blended it you might end up with too runny of a soup. Then your life would be ruined and you might even take to eating something like processed cheese and bread sticks for dinner instead. Which would be bad. Well ... on a regular basis it's bad.
If you like cream in your soup (I do but didn't add any in this particular soup on this particular day) now is the time to add it. Pour in a ¼ or so and give the soup a stir. If you want more add more. Simple as that. Isn't this easy?
If you're one of the ones out there who likes "bits" in their soup, add them to the blender now. Do not blend afterwards. Dummy. Then you'd lose your bits.
Shred a little cheddar cheese and put it in the bottom of a bowl.
Pour the hot broccoli soup on top.
Top with garlic croutons and enjoy.
And don't forget to pick up soap.
karen
soap slivers are the awesomest for marking things you need to mark on fabric, especially when cutting something out to sew. win win.
Karen
Karen - I forgot about doing that! Thx. ~ karen
my honest answer
Great recipe, thanks Karen.
marné
Ack! Hairy soap is one of my most-hated things!
Broccoli soup, however, sounds delicious and easy. I'm glad you ended on that high note. And my immersion blender is far superior to my potato masher, you are totally right about that.
Mr. Pickles
Mr. Pickles makes a very similar soup (sans hairy soap) but instead of cream, I add three potatoes and one coarsly chopped onion while boiling the broth. When potatoes are almost tender, I add broccoli and cook that until tender too and then blend with an immersion blender. Voila - quick, easy, vegan "cream" of broccoli soup that I then immediately ruin ALL nutritional value by adding far too much cheddar cheese to.
Karen
Mr. Pickles - When I'm feeling fancy and energetic I add the sauteed onions too. Adds a lot to the soup. This is a quick and dirty (literally) version. :) For a cat, you know a great deal about cooking. Vegan cooking at that. ~ karen
Lydia
Sooo good. Although I forgot that dates had pits until I almost blew out the motor of my food processor :-/
Lydia
No pictures of naked dude picking up hairy soap? Whatever. This blog is going downhill!
Soup looks yummy, I made your "ies" last week and took pictures - and linked to you (trying to be a good doobie blogger) :-)
Karen
Lydia - How'd the ies turn out? I know when we make them they seem to turn out a bit different every time! Depends on the dates I think. ~ karen
joanne
Whoa... yesterday was a picture of the fella coming out of the surf... he could've been nekid for all we know... and today you're talking about him nekid. Whazzup with that? I'm drooling all over my keyboard, and the tech guys are going to start to wonder!
Karen
Joanne - I know. I didn't mean to do this. It just happened. No more naked fella references. I promise. ~ karen
Mindy
Stick those slivers of soap in an old nylon and tie it next to your hose outside. :o) Not the hairy ones though. Grosser than gross.
I saw a quote today and thought of you:
"Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral."
~Frank Lloyd Wright
Erika
Hi Karen! LOVE, love your site! I've sent the link to two friends, one relative, and a client so far. :)
What is UP with the male nakedness thing, anyway? Can't drive down the street around here without some shirtless man hoving into view, generally with severely-less-than-perfect physiques. Why do they think we want to see all that?
Karen
Hi Erika. Thanks for passing my site along! I appreciate every single forwarding of it. :) And I don't know what the deal with men and nakedness is. I think it goes back to caveman days though. ~ karen
Paulina J!
I came accross something yesterday and you reminded me of it as soon as you mentioned soap slivers. If your fella likes to use a sponge this would be the perfect solution:
http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/25-bathroom-organizers#slide_12
I started liking broccoli within the past three years, so I'll be making this soup soon :)
Karen
Paulina! That's a great idea if it works! Thanks for the link! He doesn't use a sponge, but I'll be going out to buy one immediately. So by tonight ... he will. :) ~ karen
Amanda
Found your blog from reading Centsational Girl and I am SO glad I did!! You make me laugh! Love the hairy soap story!
Karen
Thanks Amanda! I'm glad you came over to visit. And apparently have stayed a while. :) ~ karen
Kristen
My guy won't use soap slivers either and it drives me crazy! That is still soap, it's soap till it's gone but no. He gets down to a sliver and he needs a new bar too. He's been lucky though he's not gotten to the point that he doesn't have another bar waiting when he creates a soap sliver yet. Maybe though I should just hide the soap till he uses all that he has.
jenn b
Thank you very much for the easy recipe; and for not closing your blinds ~~ ;)
stephanie
I find the broccoli soup more disgusting than the hairy soap....just sayin'
Jen
I don't use bar soap, but my husband does- to solve the sliver problem, he presses the sliver into the new bar. Tadaa! No waste, and no slivers. Hairy soap made me shiver!
Karen
Jen - Yeah ... squished together or not, those are still considered slivers around these parts. :( ~ karen
Jen
wow, picky, but gorgeous, a decent trade off I guess!
Teresa
Absolutely wonderful write ~ the soup recipe is wonderful too!
Upscale Downhome
You had me at no measure! That's my kind of cooking, baby! You had me laughing out loud on the big belly men part--so true.
liz
Nom nom nom. I like a little bit of roasted garlic in there too.
Denise
You're right on about men. I try to enjoy the view without feeling like a *complete* pervert. ;-)
That broccoli soup looks yum, but not with hairy soap, please. :-)
Jennifer
I am right there with ya on the nakedness and the no-sliver users, and I loved your sly dissing of the potato masher. But I can never, never eat broccoli soup again without thinking there's hair in it. Thanks.
Karen
Sorry 'bout that. :/ ~ karen
Marti
No worries... I'll try this potato soup this week... while Jennifer is trying the cauliflower pizza recipe. Have you tried that, Karen? I know it doesn't look nearly as good as regular pizza, but I have a friend who is GF and I'm starting to feel guilty about enjoying life so much.
Marti
Potato? I meant broccoli. No potato soup. Blech. Half a step above baby food, potato soup. Sigh. You should delete BOTH these comments.
Karen
You're drunk aren't you Marti? ~ karen
Marti
I just got back from three weeks with my mother. What do YOU think?
(No, but I am very tired... I was waiting up to see your Monday post.)
Marti
Yep, this was great... lots better than that overly creamy-cheesy stuff that most people make.
So I added a couple of tablespoons of lemon. Have you tried that, Karen? You might try that sometime... not enough to notice but maybe just "brighten" the fresh-flavor?
Karen
Excellent. Was this the first time you made this one? I had it last night! I love it 'cause it's so fast and easy but tastes great. Croutons make it. Lemon would probably be great in it. Mind you I think most things are better with a bit of lemon or lime. Best steak sauce ever? Mayonnaise with a huge squeeze of lime in it and some lime zest. Really good with leftover cold steak. Pumpkin soup recipe coming up once my Kabocha squash are ripe in a month or so. ~ karen!