Caption this!
Friday’s kindda my relax day. I don’t know if you noticed that. You never learn much of anything on a Friday from me. You learn I don’t like to put up elaborate posts on a Friday. You learn that from me.
A couple of weeks ago I asked you to complete a sentence for me. ”All I want for Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/etc. etc. … is ……”. And you filled up those comment spots in no time. Which in turn, gave people something interesting to read for the Friday post. You see what I’ve done, is I’ve gotten you to do my work for me without even knowing it.
I’m sneaky that way.
I’m also sneaky in the way that I use reverse psychology on the fella. Works like a charm. Take note …
Conversation in the middle of dinner.
Me: There’s a big dead branch hanging off the tree in the back. It’s too bad you wouldn’t be able to get it down.
Fella: Huh? Why couldn’t I get it?
Me: Well, you know … it’s really high and hard to get at and you’re not all that agile. That’s all.
Fella: Couldn’t get it down? Whaddya mean I couldn’t get it down?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?! I could climb the *&^%@ outta that tree! I’LL GO CLIMB THAT TREE AND GET THAT BRANCH DOWN RIGHT NOW!!!!! (shoves dinner aside and leaps out of chair)
Me: snicker
How that conversation *could* have gone.
Me: Could you remove the dead branch that’s hanging off the tree this weekend?
Fella: Sure.
(time passes … weekends come and go … seasons change … the branch remains)
Me: Could you remove that dead branch today?
Fella: Sure.
(and so on … until the branch falls out of the tree on its own, lands on my head and ends with a trip to the hospital for one of us)
O.K. it’s time for your assignment. It has to do with trees. This is a picture my grown up, adult, Christmas Tree loving nephew took and sent to me. I would like you to write a caption to go with the picture. Best caption wins.
Oh. I should mention the best caption wins nothing. Just the title of really good caption writer. Which, is kind of a big deal.
Aimee
Stymied, the driver finally stopped to ask for directions. His GPS had apparently never heard of “Whoville.”
Karen
Well Aimee. So far you’re in first place. ~ k
Wayne
Funny. One thing I was always taught was to never buy a car that was built on a Friday. I learned how true that was after several years of factory work and many unproductive Fridays ;)
coralie
Clean up in aisle tree.
(yes, I think Aimee’s is better too.)
Karen
LOL. *Yours* is pretty good! Don’t count yourself out yet. ~ karen!
Meg
Witness Tree-location Program, Phase I
Kat
Burly Truck Driver to Loading Dock Lady…
“Look lady, all I know is some guy got accused of not being able to cut down a dead tree branch or something and he went a little crazy at a Christmas tree farm…so where do you want me to unload ‘em?!”
Karen
Hah! ~ karen
Nicole
Portable Forest
Bea
I didn’t say I wanted a truckload of trees. I said I wanted THREE!!
Sue
1) As the delivery truck pulled in, the new coat buyer realized the deal she found really was too good to be true…
OR:
What can happen when you ask the nursery plant buyer to step in and cover for the coat buyer on short notice…fast delivery of sheared furs anyone?
Doreen Stuart
The best of Luneburg County.
Afterall we are the Christmas tree capital of the world. We even supply Boston.
Cowlady/Angela
Ok Karen – here is the first load of trees you ordered. Where do ya want ‘em? Guess you’re cutiing down this year, huh, since there’s only 2 truckloads!?!
Karen
Very good! ~ karen
jenny
This just in… Chainsaw Massacre at William’s Tree Farm last night!! Victems were stock piled on a mass grave. Locals believe they were being shipped out to unsuspecting families for the Holidays. More breaking news at 11:00.
Erin Hall {i can craft that}
lol good one/
Mary
fake vs. real? It would seem another win for team fake.
Fred
With the holiday madness over, the trees are packed up and shipped back to the farm to be fattened up for next year.
Fred
Can I enter the contest more than once?
“No, no, no! I ordered vertical trees, not horizontal!”
By the way, I agree. Karen’s is best. Where is Whoville?
Fred at PanamaShippingContainerHouse.com
Fred
“When did green become so popular? I liked them better when they were red.”
Fred
Sorry, egg on face. That’s what happens at 6:30 on a FRIDAY morning. I meant, “Aimee’s is best.”
Bart
“Great. Got the trees. now where did I leave those decorations…”
Antonia
Backlogged.
Nic
Some of these have been good but this is the first one that made me smile.
gig
My favorite so far is Antonia.
My Entry: Nothing is funnier than a truck full of dead trees on Christmas.
Amy McNamara
“MOVE THAT TRUCK!”
Do you watch Extreme Home Makeover? (I don’t, but I see their catch phrase “Move that bus!” on commercials. I don’t know – just made me think of that.
Amy Schmucker
Future Yule logs
Nicole2
“I ordered a thousand Christmas T’s, not a thousand Christmas trees!”
Nicole2
“Is this where the Tree Hugger Christmas Party is being held?”
trinity
Nicole’s is my favorite!
gogothrift
tinsel porn
Lauren
I laughed out loud.
aubrey
oh that’s good
Jules
“Is that your stump poking into me or are you just happy to be out of the woods?”
Erin Hall {i can craft that}
Family Christmases are Made with Love… OR apparently a Semi full of trees.
Adam B.
Run! The 22-wheeled Christmas Tree monster is coming!
Mark
Is that a forest on the other side? I can’t see it for the trees.
elise
LOVE!! haha
Julie McClelland
Paul Bunyan was so excited when he came across a huge pile of really nice, straight sticks! He could finally make that wall Christmas tree he’d read about.
Alison
“Due to cutbacks, Mr. Obama, the National Christmas Tree is arriving as an “do-it-yourself” kit. Each of these branches is numbered for easy assembly and the trunk and stand are on the next truck.”
Meg
Win!! I now have this image in my head of the whole Obama family on the lawn of the White House putting the tree together– it kinda fits!
Emily
For Christmas this year I bought each of my ‘tree hugging’ friends a very special gift.
Laura
Lacking dynamite, the trucker cut down forty acres & turned his rig around.
LeeAnne Bloye
Tee hee!
Langela
Local store makes plans to “spruce” up the place.
“Pining for Christmas”
Country Squirrel’s moving van
Over the river we moved the woods to Walmart’s lot we go
Apparently there was a misunderstanding when the balding polar bear asked for a “fir” transplant.
Hit pop band “the Blue Spruce Forest” hits the road in new tour bus.
Lindsay Farrell
“Honey, I couldn’t decide on a tree…so I bought them all. Isn’t Christmas fun!?!?”
Scott
Get ready. It’s time for the Great “Tree For All”
Audrey
Police stated that the man who robbed the Boy Scouts of their holiday trees could be heard cackling “ALL YOUR TREES ARE BELONG TO ME!”
Langela
Karen, how will you choose? These are great so far!
Mickey
How much wood would a wood truck chuck…
Violet
I’d take that one a slightly different direction:
“How much wood a woodchuck would truck if a woodchuck could truck wood.”
ELISE
Shit Ton Of Christmas Trees
JennyA
Wow, IKEA really does have everything!
Langela
Hunters level the playing field in hopes of bagging the big one.
Mama Grizzly’s family pack of pine scented toilet paper finally arrived.
Local grizzly teens stock up to “TP” their coach’s house.
Local trees pay the price when Santa’s DUI turns deadly.
Karen L
hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go!
Langela
PETA protesters show up with their signs and are embarrassed by the misunderstanding.
“I’d rather go naked than wear fur.”
aubrey
clever!
Gloria
I couldn’t decide…you pick the one’s you want!!!
Pam
SSHHHHH! LISTEN EVERYONE….. All I know is that I heard something about balls, a star and lots of presents…. I totally think we’re about to become famous!
Karen
Love it. ~ karen!
maggie
Falalalalalala More dry real trees! That is why mine is a bee-utiful pre lit faux tree. Sorry truck driver I know you have a job to do and sorry real tree lovers you obviously love real dry trees or you would have a fine faux pre lit tree. Just sayin!!! Merry Christmas y`all.
pumpkin
True enough, but real trees are recycled as fish habitat, minus the tinsel.
JF
Parsley – for industrial-strength garnishes!
AnonyMously
Oh, honey I wanted to make love on a bed covered in fur…. not a flatbed covered in firs…
Jenni
Oh, Aimee’s is too good, I won’t compete.
Nancy
This is what I got you for Christmas Aunt Karen..They will be delivered on Saturday!!!
gloria
Double drat!! Every time I think I have a great idea, I scroll down a bit and THERE it is! Guess I’m just not very original. Or else I have to learn to type faster. But I’m not giving up, gonna keep thinking. There’s gotta be something you people haven’t thought of yet. Very funny folks read your blog, Karen.
Karen
I know! That’s why I feel comfortable leaving this post up to them. :) ~ karen
Dawn
Not to be outdone by anyone on the block this year, Clark Griswold ordered a little something extra for his Christmas display…
Karen
In the running. ~ karen!
Emily
One DEA agent (or the Canadian equivalent) to another: Wow. The cartels are really getting sloppy about concealing their shipments.
Lauren
TRANSFORMATION
When a beautiful, natural, living thing gets cut down in its prime to die a slow death in your living room dressed up like Lady Gaga
gloria
Headline, Dec. 9: “Toothpick Whittlers to Rethink Timing of Strike Action.”
Alicia
“No ma’am, this load is for Marthat Stewarts new line of toothpicks. The ones used for Christmas trees are on the next truck”
I was laughing so hard I almost forgot what I was going to write.
Rachel
Happy Haulidays
Jenn
Look kids, it’s the Christmas Tree Gauntlet – Crawl through and win a free tree for Mommy!
Carole McGinnis
Got Trees? (Like in the milk campaign, “Got Milk?”)_
elise
Dammit…I bet this is at your Dollarama, isn’t it?? ISN’T IT?
Victoria
Trees: “here we go, this is what we’ve been trained for…”
I know that is not even funny, but I have to find a way to justify these beings being produced, chopped down, decorated with crap and then ending up on the street 3 weeks later..just for our own amusement. So I tell myself that this is their purpose and that they feel good about it…
Karen
Victoria – I never understood people getting upset over real trees. It’s not like we all go out into the forest and start whacking them down. They’re grown specifically for the purpose of Christmas Trees, plus the Christmas tree farms are fantastic for the environment. And I think most cities (mine anyway) recycle the trees into mulch or whatever. Not to worry. :) ~ karen
gloria
Headline Dec. 9: Anti-PETA Agitators Launch New Holiday Game, Find The Spotted Owl in the Treestack.
**I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I truly am a nature-lover, but I couldn’t resist. Honest.**
Kate
Wheee! A load of 1x’s for Christmas!
Shari
“Let’s make like a tree and debark!”
Mary Jane
“Honey, how many trees did you say you bought to decorate the yard?”
Bobbie
“You get a tree……And YOU get a tree…..and YOU get a tree…..” hahha Oprah is always funny.
Karen
Bobbie – THAT’s a good one. ~ k
Sue
I should know better than to try and be funny late at night, lol! There’s lots of funny stuff here that’s so much better than my attempts.
burbhappy
inspired by Scott – Tree for all in parking lot; police call in lumberjack squad!
if it makes some of you feel better about live Christmas trees, trees are considered to be biomass – a renewable resource!
Karen
Burbhappy – That’s my opinion! Christmas tree farms are great for the environment. ~ k!
Stan
With all of the emphasis on making this world more green, trees are using mass transit to get from the forest to town.
Karen
Hah! Like it. ~ k
AnnW
from my daughter: Christmas is cancelled this year and we’re taking the trees home.
from me: A mighty stand of the noble Canadian fir line up for the Southern convoy to delight generations of undeserving Americans.
Kasia
My dad would have said, “Look – it’s the great provider”!
Ok- he really did actually said this once about a guy hauling two Christmas trees, a load of firewood, a dead deer, and a keg of beer. Kinda fits :)
Beth Chapman
Dang . . . thought i ordered three ;)
Susan
Who’s the smart one here?….:-)
Anemone
Karen only u could make me stare at pic for 30 mins.
Elle
truck-o-trees!
Dru
does this mean I should not look for your posts on weekends? like..you take time off?!
P.S. my house is decorated, presents wrapped. Life is good.
Gayla T
“Evidence of masss murder plot discovered in parking lot”, reported the Daily Spruce.
Karen
I like it! ~ k
Lauren
I’m taking everyone’s tree and going home!
redz
Until he saw the carnage with his own eyes, Mario Batali was unaware of where the pine nuts actually came from for his world-famous pesto.
Gknee
Another grow op busted in beautiful BC.
The Fella
Look Karen! I climbed the f*&k out of all those trees! See I told you I could do it!
Fella
Janet in Dallas
Hot new holiday toy: DIY baseball bat kits. Power tools not included.
pumpkin
Go ahead. We’ll make more.
These trees come from farms like your own gardens. Its a renewable resource. Who is crying for that beet or onion yanked from its roots? Tree farms create many jobs and can be recycled unlike the plastic ones…and they smell nice.
Bols
I have to vote for cowlady’s (“Here is the first load, Karen, where do you want them?”)
HA HA HA HA HA
(C’mon, Karen, we all know you need that many) :-)
Julie shinnick
1st Tree: “Oww…. I think my branch is broken”
2nd Tree: “Well there’s no use pining over it….”
Caroline
Then the Grinch took the trees out of all the Who’s houses…leaving nothing behind, not even a crumb for the mouses…
Cassie Moore
When Christopher Robin moved, Winnie-the-Pooh was crushed he took the 100-acre wood with him.
Linda
Now, there goes a truck load of family fun, good cheer and happy memories!