Picture it. You’re out for dinner and you’ve finished with your meal. You’re done. At home, you’d simply stand up and wander away from the table knowing full well the dish would disappear, get clean and be returned to the cupboard at some point in the evening.
That’s how it worked for my father anyway.
But in restaurants they like non-verbal clues. Indications that they can take your dirty plate away. A sign language of sorts. The waiter or waitress reads the secret code spelled out through your dirty utensils and napkin.
If the waiter doesn’t happen to see you licking your plate (which is the International sign of “Yup … thems was good eatin’. I’m done!“) how’s he supposed to know if you’re finished eating?
He knows by where you’ve placed your cutlery. Honestly, he does.
Where the hell do you place your cutlery to indicate you’ve finished eating?
The knife and fork go either straight up and down in the centre of the plate with the handles resting on the rim, or pointing between 10 and 4 o’clock. In each case the tines of the fork should be facing up, and the knife edge pointing in.
Your napkin should be half heartedly folded to the left of your plate.
Do NOT rest the cutlery on the table.
Do NOT cross the cutlery over each other in an X.
Do NOT put your napkin on your plate.
Do NOT perfectly refold your napkin.
Do NOT put your napkin on your chair.
Do NOT fold your napkin into the shape of a swan or a dead chicken and then leave the restaurant wearing it as a hat.
You are now fully prepared to attend the Royal Wedding. Have fun.