I shouldda been a farmer. If given the choice between living in a penthouse in New York City and a farm in the middle of Montana with a herd of cattle and shotgun, I’d pick the shotgun every time. Well, not necessarily the shotgun, but the farm setting. Where sometimes you need a shotgun. To shoot at cans and cityslickers and adults who wear clothing with pictures of Winnie the Pooh on it.
Luckily I’m not one to be deterred by things like legalities and location limitations. I’ve created my own little farm in my own little farmhouse in the middle of town. I’ve surrounded myself with a 160 year old or so house, a frog, a pond full of fish, a couple of cats, some rogue chipmunks and a few chickens. All without breaking a sweat. Just the law. Occasionally I break a sweat when the chickens are passing a particularly stubborn egg and are really loud and I’m worried someone’s going to complain about the noise. At which point I sweat like an old hooker at a church social.
So it would make sense that I’m drawn to rustic things more and more. They make me feel closer to the farm life I dream of. Even though I loved my contemporary table setting from the Dollar Store last week because I was so stunned I could get those things at my local Dollar Store, what I truly love is this table setting I came up with. The Rustic Dollar Store table setting.
There are a couple of things in this setting that are mine. Again, I’ve used my Rough Linen napkin instead of a polyester piece of guck from the Dollar Store. The candlestick is mine, which I used because although the Dollar Store often has silver candlesticks, they didn’t on my last visit. And finally, the tiny spoons are my antique salt spoons. Everything else is all Dollar Store.
This $1 placemat is one of my favourites. Yes. I have favourite placemats. Which you may think is strange, but isn’t nearly as strange as having a favourite placenta. Which I do not have any particular favourites of.
Wrapped around the Dollar Store French Onion Soup Bowl ($1) is a Dollar Store dish towel ($2 for 2) tied with Dollar Store twine ($1)
You think the soup looks delicious don’t you? Here’s the recipe:
1 cup tepid water.
Squirt of gravy darkener.
Shove one mouldy hamburger bun into the bottom of the bowl to hold the piece of toast up.
Add toast, mouldy or not … your choice.
Cover with mozzarella cheese and broil until it all looks edible.
This enamel covered cast iron dish was actually an outrageously stinky candle. Think cough syrup with a touch of poison. $2.
I dug the candle out, scraped, washed and scrubbed it to create an individual breadbasket. Remember? That’s that whole thinking of what things could be thing. Instead of a vile candle, I now have the greatest breadbasket ever known to mankind.
These little mason jars were in the storage aisle. All I did was repurpose them as salt and pepper cellars and hung antique silver spoons off the ends. The Dollar Store had small silver spoons that worked well, but I wanted the antique touch my spoons added. You can create an entire Dollar Store table setting, and it’ll look pretty damn good, but if you add a couple of your own things it’ll be better. You know how your husband was fine when you met him, but once you added a few of your touches he was better? Same thing.
Total cost of this Dollar Store table setting (not including spoons, napkin, candlestick), $9.
The Rustic Dollar Store table setting. The only thing missing is a view of the mountains and a 12 gauge.