Sunday, May 8th. Circle that on your calendar, like this …
It’s exactly 17 days away. Unless you’re reading this on a day other than Friday, April 22nd. In which case you’ll have to do the math yourself.
I got Betty her Mother’s Day present ages ago and have been waiting to give it to her for almost 3 months. Betty informed me last week that she’s actually not going to be here for Mother’s Day. Totally understandable. It’s hard to get angry when she’s had a higher calling.
Betty’s going to a casino.
If you happen to have a more respectable mother than I do, one that spends Mother’s Day with her beloved offspring, not whooping it up at a Casino with her lucky martini in one hand and a slot machine handle in another, then I have a few ideas for you.
And hopefully there are a few things you haven’t seen or thought of before as Mother’s Day gifts.
I’m not even a mother but I get so sick of the sappy, sucky mother’s day gift ideas out there. Not all moms are idiots, even though cereal commercials would have you believe they are. You know the ones I mean. The ones where a mom walks into her kitchen to find out little Timmy has poured all the cereal down his pants, washed his hair with milk and stuck a wooden spoon up the dogs butt. And idiot mommy stands in the corner of the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest smiling and shaking her head like a pre-op lobotomy patient.
I guess what I’m saying is mom’s are people too. They like hammers and booze and sparkly things and concrete and gold and funny things and pretty things. And martinis.
They like it all.
For those who have those moms? This list’s for you.
This is what I got Betty last year. It’s a pink druzy ring from one of my favourite jewellery sellers on Etsy. She’s the same seller I got my turquoise ring from.
This one’s a bit more earthy than the last jewellery piece. And you know what? I love them both.
‘Cause I’m multifaceted like that. I am woman, hear me like and dislike lots of things.
The ring. I got it at the same time I got my mother’s. I always get compliments on it.
Plus these rings are adjustable so you don’t have to worry about whether they’ll fit or not.
Same seller. Told you I love her stuff. It’s beautiful. Raw turquoise on long chains necklace.
And … more rings. sorry. I can’t help it. I just love her stuff. I’m pretty sure you will to. And so will your mom.
These marble salt and pepper cellars have been on my wish list for AGES. How could they not be? LOOK at them!
O.K., for real, I’m gonna tell you right now I don’t get the Spiralizer. I. Do. Not. Get. It.
I’m not sure why you want to spiralize your vegetables, what the point is or what the purpose is. But apparently it’s a thing.
I’ve used the same blue ramekins for so long I had no idea there was a whole other world of prettier ramekins. Like this set. The same seller on Amazon has ones that are Faux Bois which I really like.
If she ever said it to you, this is the perfect thing.
This is another thing that’s been on my wish list for ages. The “Frank” dinner dishes. I wantttttttt them.
You know, now that I’m paying attention it seems I’ve just picked up a bunch of stuff for your mothers that I in fact want.
‘Cause old moms need rocking chairs.
And support pillows.
And sensible reading glasses.
And a tiny hook that magnets onto whatever she’s wearing so she doesn’t lose her sensible reading glasses.
And a pretty little pill case for all her “medication”.
And a wallet covered in pot because she either a) loves pot or b) has no idea what pot looks like. See? Either way a perfect present, just in different ways.
Granted this is really easy to make if you like sewing but if you don’t … it’s a great price to have your kid’s drawing whipped up into a cute little embroidery hoop. (all orders custom based on your kid’s artwork)
Kind of a fun way to announce you’re going to be a mom!
Betty had something like this candle holder when I was a kid! This one’s much nicer though.
If your mom likes flowers AND midcentury design, this is the thing to get her. The iconic Aalto vase. But it’s tiny so be warned. Don’t be expecting some huge vase. Those ones go for much more money.
Floral scented, gold sparkle, hand painted bath bomb. I’m not at all sure why I love this so much, but I do. Getting a few of these and wrapping them up in a box with tissue paper would be beautiful.
Because yes. Mom’s know how to use technology too. The floral iPhone case.
You know her. The mom that says “Oh, that’s different! I like that!”. Betty’s that mom.
These are tiny little concrete pillows accented with gold. I’m freakishly enamoured with them.
Ditto for the 3-D printed, tiny, robot planter.
Probably my favourite thing on this list. A personalized hatchet for mom.
Granted, this seller seems to think hatchets are just for men named Don, Dan, Luke and Joe. So please order one for your mom and let me know their reaction. Both the sellers and your moms.
I mean what can I say? It’s perfect.
Hope that helped you out. Have a good weekend!