Things I found in my Pond
And how to paint a lampshade
The weather finally got half decent out over the weekend so I was able to go outside and get a few things done in the backyard. Up until now it’s been freezing cold and raining. The first thing I do every year in my backyard is get my pond up and running. I hook the waterfalls back up, clean out some of the guck and take a look around in it. There’s always something interesting to be found in a pond.
Things I found in my pond today:
A couppla frogs …
My previously hibernating fish … plus a couple of new ones.
And a lampshade. Ahem.
An algae covered lampshade at that. Seems when I was cleaning up last fall, this little baby went rolling into the pond, where the fish got a full season of using it as an underwater shipwreck. With all that fun down there, no wonder it took them a month longer than usual to come up to the surface.
The shade normally sits on an outdoor floor lamp I have in my backyard. Normally. At other times it sits at the bottom of a pond.
Now any normal human being would throw this out. With a pair of tongs. I am not normal, and at times I even question whether I’m a full blooded human.
So … I called my sister and the conversation went something like this.
Me: I stored my lampshade in the pond all winter. It’s covered in mildew and algae and it smells like dinosaur vomit. Any suggestions?
Her: (no reaction to the fact that I was indeed going to salvage the lampshade) I’d paint it.
Me: Agreed.
And the decisions was made. My initial thought was to cover it in MacTac or an outdoor fabric, but the painting thing sounded way more ridiculous so I went with that. When in doubt, always go for ridiculous. It’s usually the wiser choice. Unless you’re thinking of wearing leg warmers. In which case ridiculous is not the wiser choice.
My entire family collectively believes there isn’t anything that can’t be saved with a coat of paint. From extra hangover makeup to tarting up a Dollar Store tchotchke … there’s nothing a bit of paint can’t help.
So one trip to the basement later I was on my way.
I needed a primer to cover up the mildew, since mildew (like wood knots) has a way of bleeding through even 100 coats of paint.
Since my primer was oil based, I needed an oil based white paint to go over it. (I’d usually use a latex paint for outdoors, but I had to go with oil because that’s what I had. I find, contrary to what most people think, that latex paints last much longer in outdoor conditions than oil based.)
Step #1
Gently wash the sucker with a bristle scrub brush.
You can see the plastic interior of the shade cracked a bit. I’m going to ignore that. Better to ignore it than go buy a $40 replacement shade for a lamp that lives outdoors and is going to get covered in bird crap anyway.
Step #2
Prime it.
I just used a small sponge roller and went at it. I primed the inside and the outside because both were … well … grotesque.
Step #3
Paint it.
When it was time to paint the shade with my regular oil based white paint, I used a brush as opposed to the roller. I felt like I could get a better finish with the brush. Which is both hilarious and ridiculous. I’m painting a completely ruined, guck covered fabric lampshade and I’m worried about the “finish”. See? Not normal. I also painted the top brass of the lamp frame because the brass, although in good condition was ugly. Painting it was going to elevate this lampshade to Architectural Digest proportions. Yup.
Step 4
Display it with pride.
Granted … at night, because of all the paint, light only shines through the top and bottom of the shade. Still looks nice though.
I’m not showing you this post because I think you too will drop a lampshade in a pond and leave it there for 7 months. I’m showing you to prove you can paint things you would never think to paint, and junk can be salvaged.
At least until it truly is junk.
Pam'a
‘Turned out great, and I agree: There’s no point spending money on it when the thing’s going to sit outside. But I’m sure the fish are missing their shipwreck now, so what are you going to do about THAT, huh?? (Until fall, I mean, when you can toss the lampshade back.)
;)
Karen
Pam’a – You’re RIGHT! I didn’t factor in the cost of buying the fish a new toy. I think I have some old oven mitts somewhere. Maybe I’ll throw those in. ~ k!
Sarah P
I’m excited for next year’s tutorial on how to paint old oven mitts.
Kate
I wonder if soaking it in bleach and water would have taken care of the mildew…
Ashley@DesignBuildLove.co
lamp shade looks great!!! Can’t believe it survived at all for seven months in a pond!
Gina
Watch it that the lamp doesn’t fall into the pond or you will be having fried fish with your sweet potato fries. $40 for a new one? Target?
Karen
Gina – Homesense. Which is the States would be Homegoods! ~ karen
Gina
I walk into Homegoods and they say” back again Mrs. Herman?”
gf
7… 7 months of winter? Is ice-off in like June?
I like the way the light only shines out the top and bottom. Looks great in this setting.
Karen
gf – Well, I generally start cleaning up the backyard in the fall, so that’d be October. Then I was a month late cleaning up the pond because it’s been especially cold this spring, so I had to wait until the beginning of May. 7 months. We make up for it through July and August when it’s so hot and humid we all become human steam machines. ~ karen!
marilyn
i am totally with you on the coat of paint thing karen! it is amazing how much better things can look with a fresh coat of paint! even the cracks in the lampshade look better. good job girlfriend!
Karen
Marilyn – Thank you m’am! ~ karen
Julielorusso@gmail.com
I’m so jealous! When I was cleaning out my pond last week I found our frog from last summer dead on the bottom. He was my pride and joy.
The shade looks great!
Diane@InMyOwnStyle
I am enjoying the fact you didn’t let the pond scum deter you from seeing the shades potential. I love opaque shades at night when you turn them on as I think they add more drama to the space – and you have created quite a nice space.
My best- Diane
Karen
Thanks Diane! I may have to up to wattage of the bulb, but it does look nice at night! ~ karen
Susan
Karen – It’s quite…lovely! I have some concerns for the return of pernicious toxic mold, especially once things really warm up. Better save those kitchen mitts in case you have to touch a shade with really pissed off mold growing on it…
Karen
Susan – Hah! I’ll keep em at the ready. ~ karen
Cheryl
When I was cleaning out my backyard pond this spring, I scooped out a concrete gargoyle statue that evidently dove in last fall. It was quite startling really, thought it was an alien for a sec. Happily, he was revived with a simple spray of the lawn hose.
Your pond, fish, everything looks fabulous.
Liz S.
Hmm… Maybe there is hope for the lamp and shade I absolutely adore and want in my son’s room but the shade is hot pink…
Karen
Liz S. – Hee! Yeah, you might wanna paint it. Or mactac! Just remember once you paint it it becomes opaque and light doesn’t shine through. If you don’t paint the inside (I had to because it was so gross) it’d might be less opaque. ~ karen!
amy walters, aDESIGNdock
Love it! I’ve inherited the belief that paint can restore anything from despair (thanks to my mom)!
Alison
Are you stalking my google search history? Literally two days ago I tried to search for painting lampshades and got no results, probably because no one does it. And then there you go, doing all the leg work for me.
The lampshade I was going to paint has a really dark graphic on it so I don’t think it will work. Also, I need the overall light, not the blocked shade. Oh well, thanks for saving me the experiment!
Jenna
So funny – I just spent the weekend trying to paint a lampshade, a tan lampshade. I was trying to paint it white. I would paint it and it would look white, then when I turned the lamp on, it still looked tan. Since I had no primer and didn’t feel like getting any, I painted it black first, then white. Took alot of time, luckily it wasn’t a big shade. I guess it took the same amount of time as priming it! This post makes me never want to throw anything away!
Karen
Jenna! Did you paint the interior of the shade? That should have helped to dissipate the black. Oh well … too late now! Glad it worked out. ~ karen!
Mindy
I was laughing out loud because I could have written this account. I mean, I don’t have a pond or a moldy shade, but I certainly wouldn’t throw it away if I did. :)
Jeffrey Lee
Be careful. If you do end up increasing the wattage, keep in mind the heat from the lightbulb might affect the paint on the shade. I like the dramatic light from above and below effect. It looks like the perfect place to sit with a significant other and together, enjoy a quiet dinner of chick…of poultry…while enjoying your new residents in their hen house.
Amy Schmucker
My favorite Part you ask?
Ok you didn’t ask, but I will tell you it had me laughing (I have small kids)
“dinosaur vomit”
Yeap that was what made me laugh out loud. Can you tell that I have small kids now?
Amy in Florida
Paulina J!
Love everything, but the frogs! Me no likey frogs and they know it somehow since they wait for me evry night on my southern porch.
Ali
Hi Karen,
My question isn’t about the lampshade, but the lamp. I had never heard of an outdoor floor lamp. Are they umm.. rain proof? Currently we have a floor lamp that sits just inside our patio door that we drag out to use while grilling. The folks that built our house decided the best place for the flood light was on the side of the house, lighting the street instead of our backyard. An outdoor floor lamp might be a nice alternative to me possibly being electrocuted while trying to move the flood lights.
Karen
Hi Ali – Yes, there’s all kinds of outdoor floor lamps! Here are a couple from Target. http://www.target.com/s?keywords=outdoor+floor+lamp&searchNodeID=1038576%7C1287991011&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=0&y=0 My floor lamp is just a regular outdoor standing coachhouse lantern. You know what I mean? And all I did to update it was put a shade on it. Instant contemporary look! ~ karen!
Susan
Me to my hubs, “Did you know there was such a thing as an outdoor floor lamp?”
Hubs, ” Wouldn’t it be an outdoor ground lamp?”
Hmmmm….he has a point!
B.J.M
Total crack-up! I paint everything…spray-paint junkie. I go to any DIY or Crappy-Tire and stand looking at the rows of spray paint cans, like a kid in a candy store. All those pretty coloured can lids are like a lovely pearl necklace. Ummmmm pretty coloured pearls…
MACTAK – back in the 70s’ when I was a hottie teen…my Mother used to “mactakattack” anything not O.K., everything nailed or not nailed down. It was a standard joke at our place. What would be MacTaked and what would be her hair colour?? I think it correlated to the amount of “C.C.” ingested. Great memories.
Enjoy your renewed lamp ambiance. I think it looks great! And at least you didn’t paint the fish.
Rose
hmmmm. I have a question. I come from Australia, the hot part where even in the depths of winter you can still get away with shorts and a tshirt so long as you have a scarf. What do you do with your pond in the winter, does it ice over?
Cynna
Next time you fish a lampshade from your pond, and if you’re out of paint, you could always wrap it in netting for an authentic nautical look. And it would smell authentic, too.
Karen
Genius! I never would have thought of that. Sometimes i wonder about myself … ~ karen!
judy h.
Gotta hand it to you for dressing up your pond scum treasure. However, I’d have thrown that baby as far away is far! Too many tribulations with MOLD and mildew, that stuff will kill you!
Karen
judy – I’m a bit of a rebel this way. Besides, I think for this outdoor lampshade to kill me from the mould I’d have to eat it. ~ k!
Pam'a
Two things:
1) The green junk on the lampshade from the pond was algae– the stuff you see in flower vases after a few days, which is a different thing entirely than mold. For that matter, most mold is nothing like the horrible toxic black stuff we all now envision when anybody says “mold.” So no fear.
2) Karen, you (and the rest of us, evidently) glazed right over the fact that you have NEW (free) FISH! I’m going to assume you’re still just too chick-giddy to really get excited about it. As for the rest of us, well… Hey, look! A butterfly!
Karen
Pam’a – I mentioned the algae. It was dripping with it in fact. The lampshade really did have mold on it. Or mildew. One of the two from being outside for a couple of years. There were faint spots on it before it even went into the pond. So, it was pre-mildewed. You know the way seat cushions get mildew if left outside in the damp too long? It had a few of those. And I don’t get tooooo excited over new fish because I can only have so many fish in my pond. One year I came out and I had about 100 new fish! Most of them “disappeared” which was a good thing cause I don’t know what I would have done with all of them. I still had to give a lot away to neighbours and relatives with ponds. Hey look! A butterfly! ~ k!
Kharina
I’m truly impressed. Never would I thought of salvaging a mucky lampshade in which fishies have used as a public toilet. You got guts, girl. Real guts.
Karen
Kharina – Um … I never thought of the whole public toilet thing for the fish for some reason. Um … ew. I never thought of that. Ew. Thanks. ~ karen
Ana
“My previously hibernating fish … plus a couple of new ones.”
I was pretty confused about this – “What does she mean, ‘a couple of new ones’?” I thought. And then someone explained to me where babies come from.
Duh.
Sorry for my stupidity, Karen.
Ana
Wait, that IS how they got there, right??????
Jamieson
Weirdo.
Karen
Of all of my posts, *that’s* the one that prompts you to call me a weirdo?
Amelia@ Wind Chimes
WOW…. this lampshade is perfect for my summer. I’m planning to redecorate my living room and my patio. This will be a great house accessory.
I’m just going to change the color though. Sunny yellow perhaps? Or turquoise? And I’m going to paint the shade with flowers or butterflies.
I love it…
Vicki
how about hole punching some stars around the top & bottom for extra light?
Taryn Smith
Love this site.I often walk around my property looking for “junk” to turn into something else for little or no cost.Now I see that I’m not the only one. :)
Karen
Thanks Taryn! Oh no. You’re not the only one! Only … I wasn’t really planning on my lampshade being junk I had to transform. That was … a bit of an accident, LOL. As is often the case. ~ karen!
Jasmine
Grab a bit of wire and wire the shade to the top of your lamp stand so that you aren’t doing this again next summer.
Another lovely blog – thank yoou! Hugs, Jasmine in Oz
Karen
Thanks Jasmine! You really are making your way through the posts aren’t you! :) I’m glad you found the site. ~ karen
carolmcc
omg. you are freaking hysterical. seriously.
carolmcc
omg. you are freaking hysterical. seriously. and yes, a little warped.
Karen
Carol – Probably no more warped than anyone else. Just willing to display it on the Internet. :) ~ karen
Madhu
“When in doubt, always go for ridiculous.” so true.. and i love your website.
Karen
Thanks Madhu! ~ karen
Dawn
do you think you could spray paint a lampshade and the outcome not be opaque? I just found bargain matching lamps for the bedroom at $15 each and don’t want to buy lampshades…any ideas?
Karen
Um … check back at the same store for bargain lampshades? Heh. Ahem. Well, you definitely need some sort of shade. Do you have anything we can work with? ~ karen
Laurie
You can paint fabric lampshades with silk flower paint.
True story.
Laurie
….oh, and then they aren’t opaque. Bueno!
Auntiepatch
Oh, you do make me laugh! Why, may I ask, do you have a lamp next to your pond? Do the fish need a night light to read???