There’s a very little known fact about your toilet water. It’s very gross. I should have mentioned that this is only a very little known fact to dogs.
We humans of course know that toilet water is disgusting. It may not look disgusting, but unless you *just* cleaned and disinfected your toilet bowl chances are there’s some kind of 6 legged germ crawling around in there just waiting to attack anything that comes into contact with it. Like my hairbrush. Or bandaids. Or bottle of Advil.
This is the chance we take. We the rough and tumble folk who defrost chicken on the kitchen counter, who paint our nails right before getting dressed and who install our medicine cabinets directly over our toilets.
With a movie medicine cabinet it wouldn’t be a problem. You know the kind I mean, they’re the medicine cabinets people in movies have. They hold precisely a single, white toothbrush in a crystal class, 1 or 2 bottles of top shelf pain killers and a Chanel lipstick. And that is all. You could open that thing every 5 minutes for days on end and nothing would ever fall out.
My medicine cabinet? It also has a Chanel lipstick. And 3 boxes of bandaids, each holding approximately 2 bandaids (all the weird big size with the 4 outstretched bandaid arms on each corner), hair conditioner, suppositories, old gross toothbrushes for cleaning, bug spray, Pepto Bismol, not one but TWO watches, various drugs, hair rollers (I’ve never once used a hair roller), a few empty bottles of something or other, various sample sized toothpastes from the dentist in case I ever have a toothpaste emergency where I can’t get to the store for a month and have literally cut open and scraped out the last chalky remnant of paste in my regular tube, various rusty bobby pins, tampons , Q Tips, Preparation H and other things that are far too embarrassing to mention.
Things drop in my toilet all the time. I’ve never had a piece of thawed out chicken drop in the toilet but that’s probably just dumb luck.
In fact, as I opened my cabinet to take a picture of what was inside it, this happened.
Emory board. Into the drink. Luckily I had my camera. Which is the first thing a blogger ever thinks in any situation by the way.
What I’m getting at here is I’ve cleaned out my medicine cabinet as my yearly THROW AWAY 50 THINGS routine. Since 2011, you and I have been gathering in the middle of January around our piles of junk drawers, closets, fridges and freezers to get rid of STUFF. Junk. Garbage. Things we put away and then never think of again. Like that ticket stub to the fair. Or that stupid ugly keychain that person you don’t even like gave you. Or a dirty Kleenex. God knows what you people put in your closets and junk drawers, but I’m sure there’s a dirty Kleenex or two. At the very least there’s a pair of shoes you’d be mortified if anyone saw you in, yet there they sit on your closet floor.
Time to commit. You need to pledge right now to …
In past years people have tackled their closets, their kitchen cupboards, junk drawers, their medicine cabinets, their glove compartments, car consoles, fridges, freezers and makeup bags. Also? I’d like to make a few suggestions in case you think you just don’t have a single thing you could get rid of because you’re soooooooo neat and tidy.
How about going through the apps on your phone or tablet? Or your pen and pencil drawer? Or your tea towels? How about throwing out some of those tea towels that are covered in stains with burn holes lacing the edges? Or the workshop? Bit of junk in there I bet. Or your sewing room? Do you really need that Vogue pattern for gauchos from 1978? Do you?
I’ll meet you back here in a few hours to see how you’ve done. You can leave a list of your accomplishments in the comment section as well as a photo.
I know some of you are at work now and you can’t throw out 50 things, but extra points if you wander over to someone else’s desk and you throw out some of their stuff instead. Mainly I’d just like the reaction shot as they’re lunging for you so keep your camera handy.
Stuff weighs you down. You don’t even realize it’s weighing you down but it is. Donate it, ditch it or destroy it. Whatever you feel will make your world a better place. It’s like the KonMari method only with a bit more balls and a lot less folding.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have a Neo Citron that boasts an expiry date of 2007 that I’m looking to prove wrong and a toilet to clean.