A dink by any other name …

I have to tell you, I had no idea that “dink” wasn’t a common term for a boy’s … well … dink.  I figured everyone knew/used/was taught that term.  Apparently not.  Because when I put up this post featuring a man’s private parts covered up by a pair of scissors, I referred to it as a dink.  I got a LOT of comments from people thinking that was a hilarious term.

I didn’t think a thingee of it.

But then I read more comments.  And more.  And apparently there are a TON of people who didn’t know the term dink, and even MORE people who knew other terms I’d never heard of to describe a man’s nether regions.

Different people from different countries and even different states and provinces have different slang for it.  Oddly enough penis isn’t one of the more popular terms. Did I ever tell you about the time I used the word penis in front of Mel Gibson?  I did.  I have it on tape somewhere.

I also used to write the word penis on my friend’s arm when she wasn’t looking.  If she was drunk enough she wouldn’t notice and then she’d walk around the bar all night with the word penis written on her arm.

Luckily for her she was usually lucid enough to notice someone scratching away on her arm with a pen.  I got pretty quick at it though … I could almost always manage to get at least “p-e-n” on her arm before she pulled it away and screamed at me to STOP IT.

I’ve always been a really fun friend.  I had another friend I used to introduce to men as being “really slutty”.  I haven’t heard from that one in a long time.

Anyhow … as I was saying.  There are a variety of terms for a dink.  A penis.  And I will not feel like a complete human being until I know them all.

So … let’s have it.  What slang word do you use to refer to it?  And yes … my finger will always be on the censor button so don’t get cute.  Any comment that starts with “throbbing” will be deleted.  And put into a special file for nightime reading.

Have a good weekend … BEGIN!

(and tell us where you’re from!)

 

 

 

 

313 Comments

  1. Sabrina says:

    Oh boy. You really opened up a can of worms for this one, didn’t you?

    My two favorites are junk, and manly bits (the “bits” part usually pisses off the small guy)

    Also, I’ve used the word dink. But never as a reference to a penis. Its meant to demean ones intelligence, like moron.

  2. Marti says:

    sigh. Karen. Really? Ok… here goes. I do NOT use this, but have heard it used. Not usually in my presence by people I consider friends… obviously.

    Johnson.

    Think how much I like thaaaaaaat.

    I prefer junk. And I very much like nether regions. I stick with those two.

  3. Caribou says:

    I use “wiener”, because it is the least sexy and/or manly term I could think of. Oddly enough, it stuck and now my husband uses “wiener” too.

  4. Meg says:

    When my boyfriend and I started dating, he called it “Pepe” (pay-pay). This really weirded me out and he now insists he was just joking. We call it a wiener. Or dong, haha. My mom, who is from the Deep South calls it a “goober”. So there’s that.

    • Karen says:

      Meg – OH my GOD. See??! That’s why I wrote this post. GOOBER. That made my day. ~ karen

    • AmieM says:

      Goober? That’s my dad’s nickname from high school.. Is that what it means????

      • Violet says:

        HAHAHA! No. “Goober” is southern slang for “peanut,” which pretty accurately describes little boys’ willies or serves as an effective insult to fully-grown men (unless you say it really sweet and innocent in a thick molasses drawl, which I’m betting Meg’s mom does, although in the south sometimes the sweeter you say something, the more it’s meant as an insult). But in many places, including the south, goober is also a playful term meaning idiot or moron (like calling someone a ding-dong). That’s most likely what your dad’s school nickname meant, unless he grew up on a peanut farm. Or had a really tiny willy.

    • Teri says:

      Meg….doesn’t goober mean peanut in the south…lol

  5. Annie says:

    I like bits and pieces, myself, but usually just use penis (it’s the science teacher and mother in me.)
    (PS: I’m from BC and grew up in a wee town. We used the word dink all the time, though I lost that somewhat when I moved to the city. Nigh time to pick it back up, I say.)

    • christine hilton says:

      I spent the first three years of my life in Dundas.Of course it is a dink!And since a peanut is also a goober I feel for those southern belles.:)

    • Caroline says:

      When the kiddos were young, we had some great names for it; “Little John”, “your thingy”, but mostly we called it “peepers”! Peepers for the one eye that peeped out at you!

  6. Kayla says:

    Ok, I have never heard that work dink, and I LOVE that. Having a son, we use all sorts of words to describe “down there”. Our top uses are:

    Pepee (like Peh-pee)
    Wang Chung
    Ding Dong

    And what my husband grew up thinking was THE word for it, “tally”. Which made him giggle every time in school when teachers would tell them to make “tally marks” when keeping track of something. He couldn’t figure out why they kept talking about penis’ in class.

    • Nicole says:

      I will henceforth refer to every penis I have cause to reference as a “wang chung.” And then sing the chorus to the song, just for added flair.

  7. Jenn says:

    Oh honey. You made me put the baby in his swing so I could comment on this one.

    BTW, a “dink” around these parts is what we call a car with one headlight out. Then we hit the ceiling. I have no idea why.

    Hubbie calls it “dangly bits”.

    I recently heard “Baby Tiger”.

    Twig & berries is one of my fav terms. Also: junk, package, & trouser snake.

    You gotta watch this scene from “New Girl” (not obscene):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrGir6DNbCc

    • Karen says:

      Jenn! Well, if I made the new mother put down the baby I’m doin’ something right. Love the headlight dink story. ~ karen

    • Linzy says:

      I’m from rural Vermont, US, and we refer to the one-headlight cars as a “pudiddle”, and yes, we do tap the ceiling. I have no idea why either.

      I call them “man parts” and “lady parts”, respectively.

    • Linda says:

      We hit the ceiling when you see a car with one headlight which adds 7 min to your sex-life. That’s what my boyfriend taught me. Now 15 years later I laugh when I see him still do it as we drive around our kids.

  8. Adrienne Audrey says:

    wang

  9. Jessica says:

    Im from Colorado and generally go with “junk” if it’s a neutral context or “peepee” if I want to be pejorative … See John Leguizamo in “mambo mouth” — the drag scene.

  10. NotRealName says:

    I once heard that you can tell what’s truly meaningful to a society by the number of words they use for a particular noun. Arctic societies have the most ways of saying “snow.” African societies have the most words for “rain.” Americans win when it comes to “money” and “penis.” Dick, prick, cock, whang, birdie, johnson, peter, teetee, peepee, sausage, love rocket, pocket snake, trouser trout, tube steak, weeny, winky, willy, dork, schmeckle (I think that one’s Yiddish), schlong, knob, tool, one-eyed worm, purple-headed monster, meat whistle (give it a blow!)…

  11. Sarah says:

    On the TV show Scrubs, Dr. Kelso calls his a weasel. That’s one of my faves.

  12. NotRealName says:

    FYI, I’m a Louisiana native who has traveled a bit. 😉

  13. Jen says:

    I mainly use “weiner” or “junk”, but sometimes my boyfriend and I will say “cack”, lol

  14. Jessica says:

    I like “man parts” myself. It seems my sisters little boys like it too, because if something hurts them there, they can still assert their “manlyness” subtly… which I find hilarious considering they are 6 and 8 with little boy voices and all.

  15. Jess says:

    Have you seen the recent clip of Steven Colbert interviewing Maurice Sendak? They go over this, and it’s hilarious. My favorite word will forevermore be… SHVANTZ 😉

  16. Alyson says:

    I assumed you had misspelt ‘dick’ – which is a common enough version here in Australia, until you wrote ‘dink’ another eleventy two times. Then I realised that was what you said when you MEANT dick. The men in my family call theirs their ‘Old Fella’

    • Karen says:

      Alyson – I do not like the word dick. At all. I don’t know why .. I just don’t. Bleh. BLEH. ~ karen

      • Janelle says:

        And for good reason because there are people who are named ‘Dick’, in fact I have a good friend who is of the older generation and I have a hard time calling him Dick because of its slang term.

      • Alyson says:

        Me neither – not in reference to a penis, but if you told me “That guy over there is a bit of a dick,” I think it would sum up his personality or lack thereof, perfectly!

  17. Liapez says:

    Hahaha, this is awesome. My grandfather and grandmother (from the American South) refer to the male member as a “policeman”. I very clearly remember clearly him referring to “my policeman” once when I was child and it really confused me. While we’re on the subject of family oddities, my dad, who is from Italy, calls bras “double-barreled slingshots”. And for some reason my parents taught my sister and I that our lady parts were “pea blossoms” and we didn’t realize that not a well-established alternative to vajayjay until…college.

  18. kris says:

    Pecker. Cock. Woodie. The family jewels. Dick. I am a special education teacher and one of the tests we use quite frequently to measure academic progress is called the “Woodcock Johnson.” For real. As in: “We’ll have to give him a WOODCOCK JOHNSON.” or
    “Did you give her the WOODCOCK JOHNSON?” Yikes – those poor children abused by school staff in this shocking way. I am from St. Paul, MN. Love your website. Peepee (for the wee lads).

    • Michelle in Htown says:

      Oh geez. I laughed out loud over this one. I remember that test! I never thought about it that way until now. You made my day (now I MUST get back to work).

  19. Heather says:

    In junior high (in Arizona) we used to ask other kids to join the “pen fifteen” club. And when they innocently agreed, we’d write “pen15” with a sharpie on their hand. Lots of detention sentences were rolled out for that one.

    And “peppie” is my personal favorite term, though when considering the trio, “junk” says it best.

  20. KiwiKat says:

    See, a DINK is double income no kids, so…
    In NZ we use all sorts of euphemisms:

    Wiener, schlong, dick (the most common), wang, prick, wee-wee, johnson, john thomas…those are just what I can think of off the top of my head…

  21. Candice Morrison says:

    The guys around here call their parts Schlongs; around kids of course its private parts. If pressed to say something out loud I might say man parts. hehehe

  22. Elisabeth says:

    I work with mostly men, and most of them seem to prefer “junk.”. A few occasionally get more specific, using terms like “man berries.” My boyfriend uses “naughty bits,” which makes me laugh, so I use that too!

    Chicago

  23. Julie shinnick says:

    Well I am from Adelaide, South Australia.

    Dink here ….oh will put it in a sentence “What a dinky little car” meaning cute and small……snort…..that’s hilarious when you compare the two different things we are talking about!

    Goober here means ‘Oh you silly thing’

    Penis….hmmm don’t use that too much. At work if I am helping someone with their personal care I will say ‘front bits’ or ‘your bits’
    at home in general conversation we mostly say things like ‘old fella’ or ‘one eyed trouser snake’ or ‘dick’.

    Although I mostly use that last one to describe a bloke who is being particularly obnoxious.

    Ahhh cultural differences can be fun can’t they? I am looking forward to reading what other people have to say….PLEASE say where you are from….makes it even funnier!

  24. Julie shinnick says:

    oh another good one is

    ‘meat and potatoes’ go on get a visual…..yep….

    Can we do another one on sayings about going to the toilet?

    “I’m off to water the horses”
    “Going to see a man about a dog”

    I will stop now!

  25. April says:

    ” Mr Happy “

  26. Kel says:

    My mom used to call it a dinkee. I’m definitely going to add “goober” to the list but I’m thinking “manly bits” may be my new favorite.

    I’m from the Pacific Northwest and here we have weiners and dongs as well but we also have the wanker, the schlong, the one-eyed trouser worm, Steve calls his Big Steve and his wife calls it Steve’s Boss, and then there is Peter and Willy. Not much to do here but name our anatomy.

  27. Scotia 48 says:

    In my younger days in Texas my girlfriends and I called them “red wigglers”.
    My Sweetie named his “Sir William”. I respect and revere that. 😉

  28. Kari says:

    We call it “the special spot” and that can be used for lady bits too. Like if David Bowie in the 70’s was an androgynous slang term for genitalia.

    I thought Dink stood for Dual Income, No Kids. There’s a Dinks BBQ where I live in Arkansas. I bet they would not appreciate your use of the word 😉

  29. Gknee says:

    A dink is a dink is a dink. I grew up using this term for the male…um…dink although today it seems better used in referring to people who are otherwise known as a$$holes. I now give it several names:
    dong
    shlong
    pecker
    dick

  30. Phoenix says:

    Kokopelli. For what he represents. (see Wikipedia) Hubby came up with that one some time ago, and it stuck.

  31. Mandy Y says:

    Hmm….doodle, or package. Mostly doodle 😛 I’m in Australia, btw.

  32. Gayla T says:

    Since this is The Art of Doing Stuff and we are discussing penis words I keep wondering exactly where this is going and what Art of doing what stuff comes next. My mother used to call it a doodly bopper. My oldest son called his a peepee pipe as a young child and we never figured out where he came up with it. Dink, I’ve never heard but all the ones posted above I have heard. A goober is a kind of a peanut grown in the south so that actually makes sense to me. I just can’t wait to see where you are going with this. When the judging is done for the best blog of the year 2112, I’m going to submit this entry. I’ll bet you win something. LOL

  33. Kate says:

    Dingus, which is my Hoosier husband’s term for the manly bits. I’m quite partial to the term manly bits, or Peter. Or woo hoo, which is the male counterpart to the female hoo hah.

    As a Southerner, I have heard goober used as a penile alias, but not in quite a while. Thanks for the memory Meg!

  34. Moe says:

    Oh Karen, since discovering you a few weeks ago, my life has never been the same… and I mean that in a good way. Love, love, love your blogs. So, enough sucking up which by the way is not meant in any way as a pun regarding todays blog. Growing up, a mans nether regions were referred to as a “pecker”. Not sure why, it’s just the way it was. You don’t want to know what the female parts were called… it ruined me for life of ever enjoying the cartoon characters. Huey, Dewey, and Louie. :o) Nowadays here, it’s referred to as another name given to a rooster, which to me really sounds dirty so I’m not going to write it here.
    By the way, I’m from Nova Scotia :o)

  35. Candy says:

    Throbbing headache but I thought I’d join in anyway! Ha!

    I’m from UK, never heard it called a dink before. I think all the terms that I use are pretty standard, schlong, dick, willy, penis, pecker, johnson…

    It’s actually quite hard difficult to think of all the names when you are put on the spot.

  36. Maureen says:

    When my husband, who had been my boyfriend, from the time I was 16 left me at 46, I was stuck working in our shared business with him for a year. Every single day, I called him a “dink”. I had never used the term before or since. It is somewhere in our Canadian psyche!

  37. Petra says:

    Hi, I am not native English speaker, so in general it wouldnot be in the least peculiar for me not to know the word DINK. What was actually the weirdest thing for me when I read your last post was that I did hear the term before…in one of my son’s favorite songs. We use SuperSimpleSongs as ENglish teaching tool, and waddaya know…just listen to it…a number od DINKS in there:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7vPzg7VLUsY
    I di hope that is a different dink:)

  38. Amalie says:

    I prefer “diller”, but thats danish.. 😀 Guess you could use it in english as well. In english i prefer wiener as well, but i would consider adopting “goober”, that is by far the best word for a penis i’ve ever heard! 😀

  39. Geema says:

    I’m from Georgia and my Mom calls it a Goober as well. She also calls it a Peetoo/P2 (a girl has a Cookie), terms which she adopted from her grandmother. I currently live in Istanbul with my Turkish boyfriend and he calls it a Little Bird… I have no explanation for that one.

  40. Kristin D says:

    Haha, I use so many! The top favorites are: Thang, Peen, Weenis, and Peetie.

  41. Holly says:

    My ex used to be in a band and so I thought his stuff needed a cool name. I called his stuff “Butchey and the Wadpoppers”. Now I’m much more mature and call my husband’s thingamadoodle his doobie.

  42. Kathryn MIller says:

    Hilarious!! My husband likes to refer to his as ‘the thrasher’…… And my 8 year old son uses ‘doody’ (began as ‘rudey doody’ when he was just little). Both are Australian gentlemen. Where I grew up in NZ, ‘dink’ meant to carry another person on the back of your bicycle. Seriously.

    • Julie shinnick says:

      oh yes Kathryn! I knew in the back of this old brain there was another meaning for that word.

      You used to call out to people in the street

      “Give me a dink” oh crap that’s funny! I’m an Aussie btw Kathryn

  43. Brenda says:

    OMG…Goober wins for me hands down!! hysterical

  44. Brenda j says:

    I grew-up doing A LOT of drinking and partying the night away at the Jolly Miller in North Toronto. When I got pestered by a “Wanker” who was not to my liking…I’d act as though I couldn’t understand English and make-up some nonsense language. My girlfriends and I would laugh to the point of tears. Poor “Wankers'”. {or the proverbial…what a “Dick”}

  45. Gina says:

    Around here we call it ‘the magic twanger’. Tee hee.

    And why oh why can’t I ever read ALL the comments. Some kind of special password or something???

    • Karen says:

      Sorry gina – I approve post at midnight, go to bed, then approve all the comments in the morning. I’m making my way through the hundreds of them right now. ~ karen

  46. Cindy Marlow says:

    Schlong, and no, I’m not German.

  47. Sheri says:

    We in the state of Alabama hardly ever say penis. A proper lady’s vocabulary just doesn’t include it. However……we use many a synonym. My fav- Schlong. Package. Area. Main Vein. Pecker. Poker. Peepee. Weewee. Wiener. Wanker. Worm-ewww. Dong. Ding-dong, yep like the doorbell.
    The list goes on.

    • Nicole says:

      is “area” always accompanied by a sort of wax-on gesture vaguely directed toward the nether regions? that’s probably the most common one in my family.

  48. Amanda says:

    I LOVE junk. It sounds so funny!

    And I don’t mean I love ACTUAL junk. Please don’t delete my comment!!

  49. Michelle wilson says:

    Bwaaaahaahaa! Greatest blog post ever!

    Bippy was code for penis in my house.

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