A dink by any other name …

I have to tell you, I had no idea that “dink” wasn’t a common term for a boy’s … well … dink.  I figured everyone knew/used/was taught that term.  Apparently not.  Because when I put up this post featuring a man’s private parts covered up by a pair of scissors, I referred to it as a dink.  I got a LOT of comments from people thinking that was a hilarious term.

I didn’t think a thingee of it.

But then I read more comments.  And more.  And apparently there are a TON of people who didn’t know the term dink, and even MORE people who knew other terms I’d never heard of to describe a man’s nether regions.

Different people from different countries and even different states and provinces have different slang for it.  Oddly enough penis isn’t one of the more popular terms. Did I ever tell you about the time I used the word penis in front of Mel Gibson?  I did.  I have it on tape somewhere.

I also used to write the word penis on my friend’s arm when she wasn’t looking.  If she was drunk enough she wouldn’t notice and then she’d walk around the bar all night with the word penis written on her arm.

Luckily for her she was usually lucid enough to notice someone scratching away on her arm with a pen.  I got pretty quick at it though … I could almost always manage to get at least “p-e-n” on her arm before she pulled it away and screamed at me to STOP IT.

I’ve always been a really fun friend.  I had another friend I used to introduce to men as being “really slutty”.  I haven’t heard from that one in a long time.

Anyhow … as I was saying.  There are a variety of terms for a dink.  A penis.  And I will not feel like a complete human being until I know them all.

So … let’s have it.  What slang word do you use to refer to it?  And yes … my finger will always be on the censor button so don’t get cute.  Any comment that starts with “throbbing” will be deleted.  And put into a special file for nightime reading.

Have a good weekend … BEGIN!

(and tell us where you’re from!)

 

 

 

 

313 Comments

  1. Preston says:

    I always hear the ever so classic “Cock” lol

  2. Tricia says:

    My husband refers to my son’s penis as his “wang” – it was funny at first… but now to hear my 3 year old say “my wang hurts” or “hey guys look at my wang – it wants to go pee” makes me cringe. I prefer the old traditon “pee pee” or “peeps”.

  3. Karen Lee says:

    My grandmother calls it a “pinder”. 🙂

  4. Anna says:

    OK, I have to add mine, my mother was from the south and she called it “jigger”, and I worked with a urologist who called it “Mr. Happy”…

  5. Brie says:

    My parents and I are are from Massachusettes and they always taught us it was a dinky. I call it a ” tinkle track” when around my husband because apparently he thinks every other verbal reference to his manly area is a turn-on…..boys are gross. He is from the depths of Kentucky and was always taught that boys had “ee-wee’s” and girls had “goobers”. He still laughs when people order goobers at the movies.

  6. Melanie says:

    You will definitely be deemed as Porn by Search Engines by the end of this list!

    Yesterday- I referred to someone’s “Niblets” and have been a little bit embarrassed ever since. I have no idea where that came from and have no intention of using it again.

    • Karen says:

      Melanie – OH my lord, that made me laugh. ~ karen

    • Erin Hall {i can craft that} says:

      I have heard that one before so you are not alone .

    • BCBev says:

      Ha! Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one to use Niblets! Somewhere along the (drunken) path that got slurred to Niggly Bits which of course was modified to Nibbly Bits…

      I thought every boy had a dink. You mean they don’t? My first fiance called his a dink. I think that was when it all started to go sideways for me. How do you remain in starry-eyed love when he calls it a dink???

      My personal favourite is that used by my boyfriend of 18 years. He calls his Snuffy, after Snuffleupagus, Bird Bird’s so-called imaginary friend on Sesame Street. No one else saw him or believed in him but he was always there for Big Bird, whenever he needed a friend he was there as his best friend… well, as silly as it sounds, it’s stuck!

      No one has mentioned salami yet, or wedding tackle, or made any army hat references, or Gaga references (wasn’t she the one with the disco stick?) but we won’t go into any of those.

      Karen, you do know Bette Midler’s song from Beaches, yes? Where she sings about Otto Titsling and the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder? http://youtu.be/4m57CMWq7o8

  7. Korrine Johnson says:

    I use weiner because it makes me giggle.

  8. Nicole2 says:

    Well. Karen. Here’s the thing. You don’t say you have a video of you saying the word penis in front of Mel Gibson and then not post it. Now you HAVE to post it. Have to.

    I’m from Quebec. In France and Quebec, children call a penis a “zizi” (pronounced “zeezee”). It’s cute. In Quebec, adults call it “la graine”, which means the seed. I don’t think it’s referring to the size, but the actual function of it. Another word is “la poche”. The pouch. Self-explanatory.

    Voilà!

    • Karen says:

      Nicole – j’adore zizi! The word I mean. 🙂 ~ karen

      • Louise says:

        I was going to say zizi also but Nicole enumerated most of our slangs. We also say quéquette. You’re right zizi is cute, we use it with kids mostly. I can’t imagine saying any of the english words out loud lol I’d rather use penis if I speak english

        • Nicole2 says:

          Oh, right, I forgot about quéquette, lol! There’s a saying that goes like this regarding guys and buying cars to compensate:

          Little Chevette, big quéquette,
          Big Corvette, little quéquette.

          When my husband, who’s anglophone bought himself a Corvette for a midlife crisis, my brothers, father and uncle made sure he heard it…

  9. Tris says:

    Dink was a staple in the name calling armada when I was a teen in the 80’s. Now that I’m a grown up *smirk* I like “Mr. Twig and the Berries” quite a bit. Once I became a mama, a whole new world opened up for boy part related humor. As little fellas will constantly self stim. at some point, we called it a worry stone. My absolute favorite was when the ‘lil man was trying so hard to be PC but mixed and mashed up his words and called it a “Weenis” one day. We still use that one to this day. Don’t even get me started on all the fun we have with different names for someone’s back side now!

  10. AmieM says:

    danglies
    member
    man parts
    sausage
    spear
    sword
    donk
    dick
    manhood
    Princess Sophia
    I’ve got more, but I can’t remember them all

  11. Lisa says:

    OMG This post is hysterical! I just love love love your blog! I had to defer to the hubs for this because he is the king of all things penis. He’s like a teenage boy. HA! He still giggles when he farts. (OK so do I)

    The Hubs said his absolute favorite is…..
    purple headed yogurt slinger

    Here are a few of his other faves…shlong, red rocket, Mr. Happy, monster, twig and berries, wee wee, pee pee, and pee bug (used by our kids). He said he’ll let me know if he thinks of anymore.

    PS We’re from oHIo, I’m originally from Pittsburgh, PA. GO STEELERS!

  12. judy says:

    kibbles n bits
    tillywhacker
    schlong
    Full LD
    Yule log
    there are TOO many to list

  13. Lori says:

    Hi Karen- I live in Pennsylvania and grew up in a very “Italian” Italian family. I remember my Grandmother using the word basheet (sounds just as it looks)for that private part. Ha, I don’t think I knew the real word for it until I was 30.

    Another word she used was coolie. That was the word for your bum.

    Love your columns! Always something to look forward to!!!!

  14. Julia says:

    Dangily bits. (That spelling looks funny.)

  15. Joanne Phillips says:

    I grew up in Kirkland Lake where they used to knit special socks to fit male parts for winter carnival! We always called it a dink or dinky, but I don’t know if that would have changed if we’d had a brother (four girls in the family). LOL

  16. Ali says:

    Ew, “goober” is a word we use to describe, well, GOOBER.

    I like to refer to them as “bits”, my husband as “junk”, and one of my brothers calls them his “twig and giggle-berries.”

    Dink was a good one though when I was a kid in Nova Scotia.

  17. kerri says:

    I’ve picked up so flippin’ many terms over the years. My mother gave me nothing.. she wasn’t even a “whisper the naughty words” kind of woman, she just avoided the whole conversation that contained them lol. I picked up dink in the 80’s (this comment is starting to sound slutty). Austin Powers gave me the ol’ twig and berries. I don’t have a clue who gave me willy. A friend of mine always called it a bird and if you post asking for what people call the vagina, she calls it a powder puff. She thinks correct terms are dirty lol. I could go on all day….

  18. Kelly B says:

    Well, to add to the list:

    – Schlong
    – Willy
    – One-eyed Willy
    – Wand
    – Pecker
    – Prick
    – Wang
    – Third leg
    – Knob
    – Joystick
    – Jimmy
    – Peter

    These are the ones I’m most familiar with (in addition to dink and wiener.)

    ~ Ottawa Ontario ~

  19. jamie says:

    I remember sneaking a peek in one of my mom’s romance novels when I was young… the author referred to it as “his manhood”. To this day, I find that to be the creepiest thing you can call it

  20. paula says:

    I’m with Annie, I’m a ‘bits and pieces’ girl. I live in Ontario, Canada, but originally from the UK. My brother (when we were little!!) used to call it his ‘dinkie’ and my son used to say ‘pee pee’ – short for penis.

  21. Jillian says:

    My 4 brothers use to call it “toe-toe”. Have no idea why unless it reminded them of their toes? And they use to call each other dick head quite a bit (sometimes they still do) but that was referring to their whole beings lol

    What about what girls call their….? My duaghters called it their “puddy” lol

  22. Tracie says:

    Well….growing up, my family referred to it as a lala. And refer to it we did. As in, “Hey there Milt, how’s your lala?” Seriously! And for us females, it’s ticka. My Aunts would get a whole lotta fun out of calling me up and asking how’s my ticka….crazy, but I sure wish one of them was still around to ask. My 4 year old grandson calls his a doodle. Now, aren’t you glad you asked?!

  23. Mary Werner says:

    Oh – forgot to mention, I had never heard of your word before and we use goober or peanut all the time down here in Florida.

  24. Alison says:

    Wanger. That’s what we called it. Knew someone once who called it a dipstick, and would occasionally ask a girl about getting lipstick on it.
    Oh, my mother is rolling over in her grave!

  25. Mary Werner says:

    I have been threatening to produce a mini book on this subject for years and have even titled it The Book of Naughty Bits.(From SNL early years when John Cleese was there and a picture of anything that was censored would be covered up with a sticker that said naughty bits. Well I have heard peepee, hose, sprinkler, ding-a-ling (that one even had a top ten song named for it) horse (if the barn door was left open and it was trying to come out) manhood (still makes me laugh) pokey thing, his thang, willy, one eyed snake, schlong, several more I know will be censored out, several I can’t remember, and my favorite tallywacker. I can’t wait to read more since this is making my little minibook a lot easier to complete! Next ask for words used for poop.

    ,

  26. Langela says:

    My son (9) refers to his as his tenders. Here’s a funny, semi related story. When me kids were younger, they watched a Little House episode where one of the girls was milking a cow. At bath time we heard some giggling going on and went to investigate. Basically, my son was the cow.

  27. Rose says:

    I’ve had to get used to saying penis again since we had a little boy and the hubby insisted that it be called it’s “normal” name. But as a half filipino growing up I heard: peck-peck, a pee-pee and tu-toy (it also means little boy in certain dilects there’s only 70. . . . meh). OH and with the heavy filipino accent pen-ass.
    When my hubby and I started dating he called it his we-nis (a combo between weiner and penis).
    We’re from wacky Ontario.

  28. Brittany says:

    I prefer jangly parts, Janx (southern slang), wobbly bits and “lady pleaser”, myself.

    Of course, Wang is pretty classic.

  29. Wendy says:

    My sons called that part nerd or nard and I don’t know where they learned that. When they were very small it was just their ‘pee-pee’, I guess because that’s where that came from? An old boyfriend called it his ‘schwantz’. Don’t know where that came from either. It really is as if it is an independent entity or something!

    • Langela says:

      I think “nards” came from the Lean On me movie as in “Kick him in the nards!”

      • Tracey says:

        When my son was young he used this term as well. I have no idea where he got it. I remember pulling in to the Menards store and he said “gross….what kind of store is this..my nards?”.

  30. Maggie says:

    I came up with a new one with my current boyfriend of 6+ years – Mr. Winky. Full name is Mr. Winky Dribbles.

    I sometimes get the ‘frowny face’ but he laughs at me when I give him the ‘frowny face’ so I guess we’re even. We do at least have lots of laughs together.

  31. Pati says:

    I’m from Louisiana and they say talleywhacker. LOL !

  32. Diane says:

    Karen – This is my first post, but I thought I’d put my vote in for “naughty bits,” popularized by Monty Python. Then, of course, there’s always “dick.” My husband received a can of the English pudding called “spotted dick” as a gag gift for Christmas. We re-gifted it to a friend named Dick. Like many Americans, he’d never heard of it. You should have seen his mouth drop open! He shows it off to friends. (The can, not the naughty bits.)

  33. marilyn says:

    oh karen where do i start….the package, the pipe,the hammer, the th…..ng python of love, the trouser snake…i could go on but you get the idea.i’m not obsessed or anything tho. just sayin

  34. Maggie says:

    Here goes, I wiill impart you with my knowledge. Twig and giggle berries, brain, purple helmeted warrior, one eyed snake, big Jim and the twins, Schwartz and trouser snake.
    Remember, you asked!

  35. Annie says:

    Dingle and berries……

  36. I’ve heard of dink. Always wondered about the little trucks called Dinky Toys though.
    My husband travels and we always pretend my “boy friend” Hank is going to come over while he’s gone. Hank was taken from Mash’s Margret Houlihan’s imaginary guy but at one point I realized that it was too dull and decided to get a more exciting imaginary boy friend. Hank was replaced by Thor. Thor calls his dink “Lillehammer”.

    http://takenforgraniteart.webs.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=147313676

  37. susan says:

    Spending teen years in the Hamilton area, my friends and I called it “dink” as well. Which made anybody we hated a dink.
    But I have to tell you a funny story about euphenisms. My brother was a surprise baby and the first boy after an almost-grown bunch of girls. Mom, for some inexplicable reason, referred to his penis as his “body,” so he did too as a kid. Until the day Mom and Dad were talking about a missing person and made the mistake of saying, “they never did find his body.” Ever seen a six-year-old turn white?

  38. Jules says:

    seriously? ha! – oddly enough I have many male friends and somewhat recently we discussed these terms (along with terms for breasts but thats clearly a separate post)….I have an 8 year old so Pee-Pee is used in house more often than not (he refers to the Pee Pee Pals as “Peanuts” which usually makes me giggle). My parents used to call it a tallywacker with my little brother growing up in Montana……I personally like “package”…..its not offensive in any way-could be a good package or a bad one 🙂

    (from Boston)

  39. Anita says:

    Pino. My Italian Nonna called it a pino.

  40. Denise says:

    dingy. thingy. I guess most anything that ends in letter y. There is a grocery store in Alabama called Giant Johnsons that I always cracked up at when I vist my daughter.

  41. Gina says:

    I’m a fan of Mr. Austin Powers term “meat and two veg”.

  42. Karen Anderson says:

    We grew up refering to it as a “dink” as you did. Also, a peter or a johnson. All the boys thought it was hysterical that we had a Peter Johnson in our class. Ahh, Jr. high…

  43. Susan says:

    This might be a Jewish phrase because I’m Jewish and heard it my whole life. Schlong. Or not.

  44. Kim says:

    Ok here goes…Brisbane, Australia.

    My 3yr old & 1 yr old boys I refer to their – Willy or Penis or Doodle.

    So we mix things up a bit in our house. How about girls bits? My daughter 5yrs, I call hers a Fanny or fru fru!! LOL

  45. From Ontario and Dink it is!

    Whenever I say “It’s so nice out today!”
    My hubby says “Yah…I think I’ll leave it out”

    funny….

  46. Karen says:

    I am not sure from where it came, but my son called it “bird perch” until he was about 5. From NS now living in Maine but then was living in NB.

  47. Tracy says:

    I have used ‘joystick’ or ‘dumbstick’, depending on the situation. And I’ve heard ‘Master of Ceremonies’ used just once. In reference to a particular condition of penis, I’ve used ‘woody’, which my husband had never heard before.

    I agree with Sabrina; I’ve used dink, but only in reference to someone who’s being silly/dumb.

  48. Bev says:

    that is too funny! My 3rd son coined “tenders” for his parts and we have all picked it up. We are Texans (oh, I almost wrote something about how things are bigger here, but inappropriate for the topic)

  49. Susan says:

    Yes Marti!…Sigh…. Karen! But here goes….wiener, wanger, dinky-do, Johnson, weenie and then the pet names every man has for his most prized possession! I know boring but I’m from Ontario….:-) have a good weekend!

  50. Sara says:

    For some reason my midwestern husband calls it his ‘business.’ Except he pronounces it ‘bidness’ like he’s all cool that way. It’s gotten so old that I’ve even stopped rolling my eyes.

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