A Love Letter.
Forgive me for doing this publicly

Dear Love of my Life,

Don’t worry. I’m not going to use your name.  You know who you are.  I’ve kept your name secret on purpose.  So I can keep part of us private.

Besides, your name is what everyone else knows you by.  The cashier at the grocery store, people at work, girls at the gym.

Anyone can call you by name.  Only I can call you the love of my life. Or so I thought. I’ve recently learned, someone else loves you too.

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I don’t know why they love you. I suspect it’s because of how you look. That’s always the first thing that attracts people to you. You can let her know looks don’t last.

The reasons I love you go beyond the physical.

I love you because you’re strong when I need you to be.  Supporting me.  I know I probably don’t seem like I need support.  But I do.  Everyone does.  In fact, being a strong woman is exhausting.  Because I’m so independent and able to do so much on my own I don’t want you to think I don’t need you.  Because I do.

People talk about love at first sight and I used to roll my eyes.  ‘Cause that’s the kind of girl I am.  Which I’m sure you know about me.  But, it’s actually true. And now I feel like a heel for making fun of other people for believing that love at first sight is possible.  But now I know it is because the second I looked at you I knew I loved you.  I don’t know why or how, I certainly can’t explain it but the very first time I saw you I  knew I loved you.

There are days when I come home after battling traffic or a migraine or the weird girl that stops to talk to me all the time and all I have to do is look at you and I feel better.  I bet you didn’t know that.  That all you have to do is be there and I feel happy.  You don’t have to tell a joke, be funny, or entertain me in anyway.

You just have to be there.

And that’s kind of the problem.  You’re not here right now.

You’re not  here for me to sit in your lap.  You’re not here to support me and feel warm around me. You’re not here to make me feel better after getting into a fight with a friend or having a disaster at work.  You’re not here to for me to sit quietly with by the fireplace.  Reading a book, not saying a word.

So I thought if I wrote you this letter, in public … you’d come home.

I hope this doesn’t make you mad, or embarrass you. I couldn’t think of any other way to get in touch with you since you can’t seem to answer a phone, a text or an email.

Please, please, please come home.  I’m not good with expressing my feelings, I know.  But I’m trying.  In an absurdly public forum no less.

Love of my life … I need you.  I need your support, I need your stability, I need your beauty, your calmness, your strength.  I need you.

You’re probably in shock by now, I’ve used the word love so many times.  I love you.   See?  I even said it publicly.  I know after all this time I’ve never told you in person.  I can’t explain why.  It’s just hard for me.  But if you come home, I’ll tell you in person.   I’ll whisper it quietly every morning and every night.

I’m sorry I could never say I love you out loud.

It just felt weird.

You being a chair and all.

 

 

I love you Ikea, Strandmon chair. I love you.

Please go on sale in Canada soon. I shall stare longingly at the catalogue as I await your reply.

love,


 


78 Comments

  1. Laura says:

    Yeah. I have been counting down the hours, too.

  2. Heather B. says:

    Okay you had me. I was like where is she going with this and where the heck is the fella???

    • Marti says:

      Heather thought you were talking about the fella. I assumed you were on a roll, talking about sausage… again.

    • Rachelle says:

      Yeah I’m reading this feeling all kinds of sad feels. Being all depressed thinking about Karen and the fella having problems 🙁

      Mean Karen is MEAN!

  3. Becky says:

    If I lived closer, I would go buy one for you and we could meet at the border, and we could make the swap, like some shady kind of dealer.
    We might both get arrested, but that’s the kind of things you do for the love of your life right?

  4. Through the whole post I was thinking, “This doesn’t sound like Karen at all. Something must be serious.” Yeah, it was serious, alright. Seriously funny.

    – Gitana the Creative Diva

  5. Chris says:

    I have bugged them a few times and the answer I get is the middle of November. But I will keep calling and hopefully these darn chairs will be there sometime in November. It was great marketing because these chairs will disappear as soon as they arrive. Just hope they are comfortable for that price.

  6. Therese says:

    Sh*t! You had me going. I was almost in tears! How can you love an Ikea chair so much? If it was a vintage Featherstone chair I could understand!

  7. Yes it’s funny, but yes we know you mean it too – I feel like this about my bed, and my sister has even made a song for her bed! (it’s called ‘the beddy-bed-bed song”). True love knows no ridicule.

    • Lu says:

      Hey I do beddy-bed-bed when I get into mine every time, hadn’t thought of putting it to music though. I was so had, and is so so early,or it was. Now by the time I composed myself and read all the comments it’s time to be up… Hope you found the grey man by now, it’s nearly Christmas.

  8. Jan says:

    I love that chair! Now I have something else to yearn for. On a different note, is the hurricane hitting anywhere near your part of Canada? It is hitting New York and my cousin lives there. It she plans to get..and stay…drunk. She already did the laundry and stocked the bathtub with water in case they need to flush toilets. So I guess I’ll be doing the worrying for her.

    • Karen says:

      Jan – We are in the path of the hurricane and the warnings and news stories haven’t stopped. We won’t be hit as hard as NYC but it’s definitely heading for us after NY. And my dryer broke last night! I feel for some reason with all that rain I’m gpnna need a dryer. So everything is on hold today while I get the parts and fix my dryer. ~ karen!

  9. You’re nucking futs……which is why I love you and your blog. You blend in perfectly with my kooky life. It’s 4:30 am EST, why am I awake?

  10. Melissa says:

    You are a stinker! (glad all is well with you and the fella)

  11. Hi Karen,
    I’m not sure which Ikea is closest to you, but the North York and Vaughan stores both have the chair.
    Not to make you jealous our anything, but i’ve sat in his lap, and he’s really supportive and comfy;-)
    Michelle

  12. Donna M says:

    I have already planned on redoing my family room based on these chairs alone! In Winnipeg our Ikea finally (yeah!!!) opens on November 28. The countdown is on.

  13. Melinda says:

    Oh my gosh! I was feeling SO bad for you! Glas it’s about the chair!

  14. Beckie says:

    I just knew it would have nothing to do with The Fella by the end! lol

  15. Brie says:

    We all knew (well, long-time readers anyway) that you could not have been talking about the fella. I mean, you don’t have to prove your love for him- you did cross-fit for that guy for crying out loud!!!! I was certain either A.) you misplaced your bag of dill potato chips, or B.) a cat or chicken ran away. I too share the love for the beautiful chair! Good luck on that sale price, and alert us immediately if it does in fact go on sale!

  16. Debbie says:

    I’ve been lusting after that one since I first saw it also. I think if it does go on sale in Canada you should do an emergency post to update us and I’ll meet you at the IKEA cafe for hot dogs on our way to get the chair.

  17. Quinn says:

    Ok, You had me. You had me on the verge of tears. And I was like omg I need a guy like this where is he how did she find him. Then I saw the chair and I wasn’t reading properly and I was all awwww his chair is empty! :'( lol! So ya you had me. Haha

  18. Lynne says:

    If I could marry IKEA, I would. LOVE your love letter. 🙂

    They have a new linen Ektorp sofa cover that is totally-top-drawer-awesomeness. It would go great with your rough linen bedding. 🙂 You just may need to buy the Ektorp sofa. P.s. They are super cozy.

    I would have loved to buy the cover, but I was with my hubby…the one who gives me the evil eye/hairy eyeball as I touch EVERYTHING in the store, saying ‘this would be perfect for…’.

    Ikea= Swedish for divorce.

    Haha.
    Cheers!
    Lynne

  19. Marion says:

    OK, I’m not going to lie, until you said “You’re not here for me to sit in your lap” I thought you were talking about potato chips! haha

    awesome chair btw! love that color!

  20. Brenda says:

    Ha Karen..you are hysterical!! I LOVE that chair..nice.
    I have a Stockholm three seater sofa, that everyone loves then when I say it is IKEA they give the weird look HOWEVER I Love the thing. All the upholstery fabric easily comes off to be dry cleaned which is a huge bonus here with the cats & dogs. Looks as good 5 years later as it did when it came and mixes in with the eclectic bunch of furniture in that room. [thinking seriously about another set of slipcovers for it just to bring in a new look, there are after market ones with beautiful fabric choices]. I WISH we IKEA on PEI..major bummer not having a store here.

  21. Bonnie says:

    Karen,

    I think you are falling for looks and not thinking about substance–what really is underneath that handsome exterior–not considering the stuff he is made of. That chair does not look comfortable–not cushy enough.

    Just my opinion. I don’t think your love will last.

    Bonnie

  22. Anna says:

    Get in the car!

    They have them at the North York Ikea.

  23. Maggie V says:

    Bahahaha Karen are you sure that weird girl who stops you on the street isn’t you talking to yourself? You crack me up. Thanks for the love blog. I love it. Have a great day talking to yourself.

  24. Dana says:

    Karen, you are literally hysterical. Thank you for always cracking me up and today especially i could use a reason to chuckle. You see I’m homebound by Hurricane Sandy hosting my mother-in-law in our little bungalow, stranded at our house until who knows when {big sigh}.

    • Karen says:

      Oh dear. Well .. here’s hoping if you don’t get along with her now, you will by the time the storm’s over. I’m just storm proofing the chicken coop right now. Back to it … ~ karen!

  25. Kristen S says:

    I know…I have been waiting for Strandmon to grace my office. Tall handsome gentlemen in a grey suit, who can resist?!

  26. Rosario says:

    And now I love YOU!!

  27. Christina says:

    You snot. I thought it was chips too, then when it didn’t sound like chips anymore, you scared me and I was ready to go hunt the fella down for you.

  28. Ok now I’m going to have to go to Ikea out here and sit in that chair,cause your letter made me jealous!
    http://www.dawnajonesdesign.com/

  29. Spokangela says:

    I wrote almost the exact same letter to a couch!!

    http://www.westelm.com/products/chester-tufted-leather-sofa-g435/?pkey=e%7Cchester%2Bgray%2Bleather%7C173%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C24%7C%7C1&cm_src=PRODUCTSEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules-_-

    OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT THING!!!! It seriously makes my heart go pit-a-pat… I will not be happy until it is mine.

  30. I was in the Burlington Ikea on Friday night and saw this chair… and also fell in love. Husband and I both tried it out in various poses–including sideways head against the wing and leg thrown over the arm (husband, not me). It’s both comfortable and beautiful. I’m not super knowledgeable about Ikea SOP. If it’s on the floor, does that mean it’s in stock? The dryer might have to wait pending a quick field trip…

    • Karen says:

      APPPPPP!!!!!! ACKKKKKKK! I swear you you I was at Ikea last Monday and it wasn’t there!!! The Burlington Ikea too!!!!! I couldn’t find anyone to ask about it!!!!! EEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. ~ karen!

  31. Angela N says:

    My husband wants a man chair for our family room and I am trying to convince him that this is his chair. I have already done a mood board and everything. I will have to get him to try it out in store though. Fingers crossed that it’s comfy enough for a man chair!

  32. Toronto Boy says:

    After reading this latest entry, I have this sudden urge to look for that chair from Pee Wee’s playhouse … neon green upholstry, rolling googly eyes, and sparkling white teeth! =P

  33. Brenda J. M says:

    As they say… “Whatever floats your boat!” or I guess in this case….supports your butt! LOL

  34. Love this! And we are going to use it in our writing group for a prompt.=) bellesbazaar-heather.blogspot.com

  35. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    OK..You didn’t get me this time..I knew you were trying to pull something on us..That is a very handsome chair..I hope you get to take him home with you..and he makes you happy..lol..I’m just hoping to keep what I have from blowing away as we are now in the hurricane and the governor says we are not in the worst of it yet..My worst fear is losing electricity..this is all very scary!!

  36. Amy in StL says:

    Aw, we all thought you had run out of potato chips…. Good to know it’s just a furniture infatuation.

  37. DianneT says:

    I confess, you had me too! It never occurred to me it was a bag of chips or a sausage or any other inanimate object you’d be writing about-and I read your blog every day!! Maybe I’m not quick enough for this blog, you do have a lot of witty ‘on the ball’ readers!

  38. AmieM says:

    Karen, you are 6 kinds of hilarious.

    But, woman, stay away from my man! As soon as he comes across that border, the boy is mine.

  39. Chau says:

    What the fella got to say about this letter, Karen? I can’t wait to hear that.

  40. Sparky says:

    I don’t think the fella has a thing to worry about, really. That is an uuuuuuuggggggllllllyyyyyy chair.

    • Karen says:

      It is, is it? Well … howsa bout you send me a picture of your living room and I’ll decide whether or not I care about what you think of my beautiful chair. ~ karen!

      • Bonnie says:

        SO THERE, Sparky! LOL!

        • karenagain says:

          I think it is ugly too. It looks like a mean, angry homeless old man scowling at me. But, on a side note, are you going to bring the chickens in the house to wait out the storm?

          I am way out of the way of Sandy, but I have a snowfall warning tonight. BORING! My dog, cat and I are pretending there is a huricane-a-comin. I have made a fort in the living room. We are pretending we are in a shelter and I snuck in wine. Tomorrow morning for breakfast we have to eat cookies.

        • Karen says:

          I can’t believe someone who has a fort in their living room is giving me design advice. ~ k!

        • karenagain says:

          Touche. My fort will be gone tomorrow. I love most of your design. What do you love about this chair? Is it the legs? It looks cheap. It looks like the bummy part is not long enough. I don’t like the fabric.

        • Karen says:

          LOL, Oh my God. I like the colour, I like that it is traditional with mid-century modern undertones. I love its lines. I love that it looks like it belongs in the home of someone who smokes a pipe and knows about literature. I could only love it more if its arms were worn. Also all of the reasons mentioned in my love letter. ~ karen!

      • Sparky says:

        I thought that would yank your little chain. xox

        • Karen says:

          Hah hah. Funny. You’re very funny. You got me. Now … WHERE’S MY PICTURE??! ~ karen!

        • Sparky says:

          I don’t dare take a photo of the living room at the moment, as there’s currently a cute Australian guy camped out on my IKEA STOCKHOLM sofa and all his belongings are scattered about until he flies out on Sunday. However, and this is putting myself out there, wide open for criticism, but here’s a link to photos of another room in my house that I fairly recently rebuilt and put together as a sort of lounge/breakfast/sun room. :o)
          http://sparky-youngbloodstudios.blogspot.com/2011/05/all-moved-in.html

        • Karen says:

          Well … that’s all fine I suppose if you like natural light, bentwood chairs, antique cupboards and pretty chandeliers. And I mean …. who likes *those*? Almost nobody. Mainly just weird people. Ahem. ~ karen

        • Sparky says:

          :o) Yes, I’m weird. I like the Strandmon chair in blue. Have a lovely day.

  41. Alex says:

    We just got back from IKEA today. And I forgot to buy the bloody HYLLIS shelf that was on my to buy list. I understand furniture love. I spent way too long giving lingering looks at the FJELL waredrobe wondering why the matching bed wasn’t in Canada yet.

    • Karen says:

      OMG!!!! That’s hilarious. When I was there last week I stopped dead in my tracks at that wardrobe. I took pictures, I looked, I got excited. I thought 2 of them would be PERFECT for my mudroom! Turns out even one would be too big. I was crushed. I may have to copy it. And finally … THERE’S A MATCHING BED?????

  42. magali says:

    i was sure you were talking about your new fridge, which, by the way, I don’t think you updated us on!

  43. karenagain says:

    No I do not like this cheap looking chair. I hate it. It looks too low and underpadded. I do not think it would be comfortable. I would not want to smoke a cigar in this chair. If I dropped an ash I would combust in the cheap material. It looks cheap. I am cheap and poor. I hate this chair.

  44. korrine says:

    I literally had tears in my eyes, you butthole. Love you anyway and P.S. I love the fella too (even though I am a lesbian and have a wife :).

  45. AG says:

    I have sat in this chair. It’s everything you can dream of and more. I’m waiting for it’s release.

  46. I am totally in love with this chair too only Its on in Canada yet and i am PO’d about it. I mean its on the front of the catalog in Canada but not in stores or online. so frustrating!!!

  47. Elen Grey says:

    I really want that chair. Wanted it since I first gazed upon it. Mr. G, honey thinks it’s ugly. He knows nothing. Nothing, I tell you. I’m thinking of putting that chair in the L of the living room and roping it off with one of those lovely velvet ropes on brass stands that you see in hoary old museums and government houses. And I’ll sit there every day sipping Constant Comment tea, wearing tinfoil ears and reindeer slippers. Okay. I’ll skip the tea. Perhaps, I’ll read Somerset Maugham.

    Do you think we could get a group discount, if we all came together on a bus?

  48. Sara says:

    I WANT to like IKEA chairs. I look at them online and think, “Pretty!” Then I go to the store and look at them and I’m never really sure they actually hold up for long. Do IKEA chairs really have what it takes for a long term relationship? Thoughts? Thanks!

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