You don’t seem happy. Those were pretty much the last words I said to my ex boyfriend/husband/spousal equivalent before he ran away from home. He wasn’t happy I guess. He was probably even less happy after I sent him pictures of all his stuff in the town dump. But that’s not the point of this post, the point is … are YOU happy?
If you’re not happy, today is the day we’re gonna figure out how to get you absolutely and completely HAPPY.
I am. And I don’t mean right now, at this moment, I mean I am fundamentally happy. Part of that is just my character and part of it is a decision to be happy. To make myself happy. Not a raving lunatic with a grin plastered on her face no matter what … just, you know … happy. Or who knows. Maybe I’m just a bit simple. With the New Year just rising up over the old one, now is the perfect time to ask if you’re truly happy and if you’re NOT, what the hell can you do to change that.
Because seriously. Why wouldn’t you?
Only you can make you happy. I pulled that top shelf, pseudo-psychological cliche out of an old episode of Who’s the Boss, but you know what? It’s true. You’re the only one responsible for your life and circumstances. You. Just you. Not someone else, not something else. You. Happiness isn’t about what you have or who you’re with or where you live; it’s about your state of mind regardless of those things. I got my degree in psychiatry while we were on Christmas break by the way. No I didn’t. But it doesn’t take a degree or a genius or even more intelligence than your basic baby to know that “things” don’t make a person happy.
Babies are happy once they have the basics. Food, sleep and a big fart and they’re happy. That’s it. That is all it takes to not only make them happy, but oftentimes deliriously happy. Yup. Allowing a big burst of wind to come flying out of their bum is enough to make the most basic, undisturbed form of human life happy. We’re not going for deliriously happy here, just shit grinning happy so keep your toots to yourself for the moment. Why are those little babies so happy? Dunno. Like I said I’m not a genius or in any way qualified to be advising you on any of this.
However I’m doing it anyway.
Because I’m not big on New Year’s Resolutions we’re not going to call this that. Besides.
This isn’t a resolution. It’s a revolution.
2016 is going down as one of the most depressing years in history. There was racism, Zika, Brexit, Syria, and heroin overdoses for entertainment. So it’s understandable if you feel a bit like you were dragged out of 2016 on a stretcher.
But this is 2017.
How do you know if you’re generally happy? Well my simple test is this; when you wake up in the morning are you in a good mood? And are you happier more days than you’re sad, depressed or unfulfilled. If you’re any of these three things on a regular basis, you’re probably not happy. And you could be. You should be! Because why, WHY would you go the rest of your life not being happy if you could be?
I’m guessing when you blow the candles out on your birthday cake you don’t wish for things that will make you unhappy. You don’t wish for scabies. You wish for whatever it is you think will make you happy. (Me? I always, always just wish to be happy … because that’s the anticipated end goal of every wish).
I’m talking to you old man who scowls at the woman ahead of you because you think she has one too many items in her grocery cart to be allowed in the 8 items or less checkout.
I’m talking to you unhappy stay at home mom who doesn’t really have a reason to be unhappy, but just is.
I’m talking to you unhappy working mom who doesn’t really have a reason to be unhappy, but just is.
I’m talking to those of you who hate your jobs, are bored with your routine, don’t even like (let alone love) your husband or wife, those of you who used to be wildly happy but … just aren’t anymore.
Let’s get you happy this year. Really happy. Deep down happy. What would that take for you personally?
Realizing you are genuinely depressed or anxious and finally calling your doctor about going to see a therapist? Do IT.
Realizing you hate, HATE, HATE your job so much it’s ruining your life? Make a plan to either figure out a way to like that job or … get a new job. Really. People do it all the time. They quit the jobs they hate. Do it this year. Be smart about it. Make a real plan to get the balls to figure out something else you can do. Research it, figure it out, plan it and then one day you’ll be able to walk into the office and quit that stupid, asshead job that sucks the life and happiness right out of you! Do IT.
Realizing enough is enough with taking care of people around you and finally dropping the hammer with a great big SUCK IT ALL OF YOU. I’m gonna take care of me. Do IT.
I did it. I did every single one of those things. I went to see a therapist (who eventually fired me), I quit my job as a television host (which most people would think is a dream job) to terrifyingly start a blog, a job that I literally wake up early and jump out of bed to do. And there are a few people in my life who were sucking the life out of me so I cut them loose.
You don’t have to be a Pollyanna, skipping down the yellow brick road throwing chocolate sprinkles on everyone in your path to be considered happy. Or the kind of person who smiles when they’re giving bad news or arguing with you. I don’t like those people. They’re creepy. But you should be generally happy in this life because along with death and destruction, this life also has puppies and flowers and learning and teaching and hugs. And french fries.
Everyone has times of drama and trauma. Of course you’re not going to sail those times feeling happy and carefree, I mean, you’re not a sociopath, but the happier you are in your own life, the easier those times will be to get through.
Happiness takes practice. It’s exactly like becoming a great pool player, only you don’t always find happiness in a dive bar with puke stains on the floor. In fact, usually you don’t, so stay out of those.
Go out there, grab this New Year by the should-have-been-packed-away-by-now Christmas balls and GET HAPPY. Do what you need to do. Pay attention. Make a plan.
START A REVOLUTION.
Swear more, eat more, eat better, be honest, be kind, be helpful, be wise, listen, dance, be useful, be encouraging, be strong, be selfish, be curious, be happy.
Go get ’em. Do it.