I buy hummus. That’s right. I said it. I buy it. I don’t make it. I go to the store with a fist full of quarters, throw them at whoever is standing near the hummus, grab it and run away.
My name’s Karen, I’m an avid D.I.Y.er and I buy hummus.
I buy other things too. I buy tampons. I don’t make them. I buy milk. I buy door mats, pillows, cutlery, clothing and crackers. In fact, I even bought my car.
Because DIYing is pretty much my thing, people always get squinchy faced when I tell them I bought something.
Stranger: You buy gum? Really? But it’s so easy to make. I thought you did everything yourself. I’m kind of disillusioned. I always make my own gum.
Me: Yeah. I just buy my gum premade.
Stranger: But it’s so easy to make. It doesn’t take any time and it’s so much better than store bought.
Me: Yeah. I just buy my gum.
Stranger: Why not try making some gum right now?
Me: Because right now I’m going to poke your eyes out with this wooden spoon, which I also didn’t make.
Stranger: If you made your own gum you could add all natural sedatives to it. You know. On account of your anger issues.
And so on.
I do some things myself, other things I buy and other things I hire people for. And there’s absolutely no logical explanation for why I do some things myself and why I don’t.
Hummus? I’ll buy it. Soup? I make it. I’ll spend time building a pizza oven but there’s no way I’m going to make my own pizza. I just buy a frozen one and cook it in my outdoor pizza oven. A girl’s gotta save time somewhere.
Just kidding. I make my own pizza. Dough and sauce. You don’t? But it’s so easy to make. It takes no time at all. I’m really surprised at you. I thought you did everything yourself. Can I offer you a wooden spoon?
I don’t understand the reasoning behind why I do some things myself and am happy to pay for other things. Part of it is convenience, part of it is what I actually like to do, part of it is cost and the other part is based completely on random brain activity that even Sheldon Cooper’s girlfriend, Amy Farrah Fowler, TV’s beloved Blossom, couldn’t explain.
Having said that, I make my own baguette crisps. They’re $5.99 for a 180 gram box to buy. $3.99 if you buy the store made brand with no salt or olive oil or flavour or satisfaction.
Here’s how you do it.
Buy the cheapest baguette you can find. Whichever one is the cheapest, buy it. Try the day old rack.
It’ll cost you between $1 – $1.99. (and will result in the same amount of crisps as a bag/box for $5.99)
Slice it into 1/4″ slices and brush them with extra virgin olive oil.
I’ll give you $700 if you can find anything other than extra virgin olive oil in the grocery store.
Why do recipes state “extra virgin” olive oil like it’s some special thing? It’s not. You can get a huge crappy bottle of extra virgin olive oil for like $6.
Having said that, the better the olive oil the stronger and better the flavour.
If you want to waste it on your baguette crisps that is entirely up to you. I certainly did.
Sprinkle with chunky sea salt. I use Maldon.
Give ‘er a grind of pepper.
That’s right. Giver.
Gently pull a sprig or two off of your artfully placed pot of rosemary.
Chop ‘er up.
Sprinkle a little rosemary over all the baguette pieces.
More if you like rosemary, less if you just want a hint of it.
I can’t believe I have to explain this to you.
Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 15 minutes.
Then bake them an hour and a half more.
Swear, laugh, roll your eyes and start again.
After 15 minutes at 375 they should be dried out and lightly browned but all ovens, baking sheets and baguettes aren’t created equal so keep an eye on them. Also don’t start watching House of Cards.
I flip mine halfway through the baking process so you should do that too if you can be bothered. If not, the world will not end. Not because of your baguette crisps anyway.
Serve them with … store bought hummus. Double gasp.
Or, top them with tomatoes and basil and salt marinated in … extra virgin olive oil.
Since the crisps are so crispy let them sit with the tomatoes on them for a few minutes to help soften the crispy crunch of them a tiny bit.
You can also buy flavoured baguettes. The ones I burned until they were soot, were actually from an onion baguette.
Go ahead. Give it a shot. They’re so easy to make. And take no time at all.
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