Baguette Crisps.
An easy recipe with pretty pictures.



I buy hummus.  That’s right.  I said it.  I buy it.  I don’t make it.  I go to the store with a fist full of quarters, throw them at whoever is standing near the hummus, grab it and run away.

My name’s Karen, I’m an avid and I buy hummus.

I buy other things too.  I buy tampons. I don’t make them.  I buy milk.  I buy door mats, pillows, cutlery, clothing and crackers.  In fact, I even bought my car.

Because DIYing is pretty much my thing, people always get squinchy faced when I tell them I bought something.

Stranger:  You buy gum?  Really?  But it’s so easy to make.  I thought you did everything yourself.  I’m kind of disillusioned. I always make my own gum.  

Me:  Yeah.  I just buy my gum premade.

Stranger:  But it’s so easy to make.  It doesn’t take any time and it’s so much better than store bought.  

Me:  Yeah.  I just buy my gum.

Stranger:  Why not try making some gum right now?

Me:  Because right now I’m going to poke your eyes out with this wooden spoon, which I also didn’t make.

Stranger:  If you made your own gum you could add all natural sedatives to it.  You know. On account of your anger issues.

And so on.

I do some things myself, other things I buy and other things I hire people for.  And there’s absolutely no logical explanation for why I do some things myself and why I don’t.

Hummus?  I’ll buy it.  Soup?  I make it.  I’ll spend time building a pizza oven but there’s no way I’m going to make my own pizza.  I just buy a frozen one and cook it in my outdoor pizza oven.  A girl’s gotta save time somewhere.

Just kidding. I make my own pizza.  Dough and sauce.   You don’t?  But it’s so easy to make.  It takes no time at all.  I’m really surprised at you.  I thought you did everything yourself.  Can I offer you a wooden spoon?

I don’t understand the reasoning behind why I do some things myself and am happy to pay for other things.  Part of it is convenience, part of it is what I actually like to do, part of it is cost and the other part is based completely on random brain activity that even Sheldon Cooper’s girlfriend, Amy Farrah Fowler, TV’s beloved Blossom, couldn’t explain.

Having said that, I make my own baguette crisps.  They’re $5.99 for a 180 gram box to buy.  $3.99 if you buy the store made brand with no salt or olive oil or flavour or satisfaction.

Here’s how you do it.



Buy the cheapest baguette you can find.  Whichever one is the cheapest, buy it. Try the day old rack.

It’ll cost you between $1 – $1.99. (and will result in the same amount of crisps as a bag/box for $5.99)

Slice it into 1/4″ slices and brush them with extra virgin olive oil.

I’ll give you $700 if you can find anything other than extra virgin olive oil in the grocery store.

Why do recipes state “extra virgin” olive oil like it’s some special thing?  It’s not. You can get a huge crappy bottle of extra virgin olive oil for like $6.



Having said that, the better the olive oil the stronger and better the flavour.

If you want to waste it on your baguette crisps that is entirely up to you.  I certainly did.

Sprinkle with chunky sea salt.  I use Maldon.



Give ‘er a grind of pepper.

That’s right.  Giver.



 Gently pull a sprig or two off of your artfully placed pot of rosemary.



Chop ‘er up.



 Sprinkle a little rosemary over all the baguette pieces.

More if you like rosemary, less if you just want a hint of it.

I can’t believe I have to explain this to you.



Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 15 minutes.

Then bake them an hour and a half more.



Swear, laugh, roll your eyes and start again.

After 15 minutes at 375 they should be dried out and lightly browned but all ovens, baking sheets and baguettes aren’t created equal so keep an eye on them.  Also don’t start watching House of Cards.



 I flip mine halfway through the baking process so you should do that too if you can be bothered. If not, the world will not end.  Not because of your baguette crisps anyway.



 Serve them with … store bought hummus.  Double gasp.

Or, top them with tomatoes and basil and salt marinated in … extra virgin olive oil.


Since the crisps are so crispy let them sit with the tomatoes on them for a few minutes to help soften the crispy crunch of them a tiny bit.

You can also buy flavoured baguettes. The ones I burned until they were soot, were actually from an onion baguette.

Go ahead.  Give it a shot.  They’re so easy to make. And take no time at all.

Baguette Crisps

This is a great way to use up stale baguettes or make use of the cheap day old ones in the grocery store.  Delicious little crisps perfect for topping with diced tomatoes or dipping in hummus.
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Course: Snack
Cuisine: They say it's from New York.
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 25 minutes
Servings: 5 people
Calories: 231kcal
Author: Karen


  • 1 baguette try flavored baguettes like onion or garlic.
  • 1/4 cup olive oil good quality
  • sea salt flaked if possible
  • 4 sprigs rosemary optional


  • Preheat oven to 375 f. 
    Slice the baguette into 1/4 inch pieces.
    Brush both sides with olive oil.
    Sprinkle each slice with flaked sea salt.
    Sprinkle with chopped rosemary if desired.
    Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.


Serving: 5slices | Calories: 231kcal | Carbohydrates: 25g | Protein: 4g | Fat: 12g | Saturated Fat: 1g | Sodium: 306mg | Potassium: 55mg | Fiber: 1g | Calcium: 39mg | Iron: 1.5mg


  1. Cody says:

    SO I don’t know where I found this out but virgin/extra virgin olive oil is actually determined by how long the olives go between being picked and being pressed. Extra virgin means pretty much immediately, and that’s why it has a stronger taste than virgin. (For example, when making your own mayo (BECAUSE PEOPLE DO THAT)), you do NOT want to use extra virgin because it will taste completely like olive oil.

  2. Lilyka says:

    Karen. You said ‘chop up your rosemary’ and then you just CHOPPED IT UP into LITTLE TINY PIECES that don’t all STICK TOGETHER! How did you do that?!? Did you actually take an hour to chop them into teeny perfect bits? Or do you secretly have minions to do your chopping? Tell us your secret, enquiring minds want to know!

  3. Catherine says:

    But wait Karen! there’s so much more!!!! Cube before toasting and you’ve got croutons, smash them after toasting and you have seasoned breadcrumbs, toast them plain and you have Melba toast. We never have stale bread since I always turn it into something else. Bread pudding anyone? And we hardly ever buy crackers since seasoned toasts are so yummy and great with cheese. Well, except Triscuits, those things are addictive.

  4. Laura Bee says:

    I make my own hummus! I don’t use tahini though – don’t like it. My sister is a bit of a show off & uses dried chick peas to make her own falafel. I use canned beans. And I don’t make my own pizza. I get my bf to do that. :)

  5. Debbie says:

    This was a read aloud to hubby piece and we were both laughing out loud! BTW – I would have loved the first batch. Yummy!

  6. Mindy says:

    Let me tell you what someone served me the other day. Bread crisps, like this, but she cooked them in a cast iron skillet with minced garlic. So we’ll call them garlic bread crisps. Delicious, but not the point of the story. To serve on TOP of the garlic bread crisps, she made zucchini butter. This means, she cooked shredded zucchini in olive oil and butter until it was fall apart soft. It was AMAZING. And you can totally make it yourself. After you grow the zucchini. Try it. It takes no time at all.

  7. Sarah In Illinois says:

    I do make my own hummus, but I prefer a specific name brand. Probably because I live in a small town and tahini paste is practically unheard of. EVOO we have by the truck loads but no tahini paste.

    • Sarah In Illinois says:

      That should be your next how-to Karen! Make your own tahini paste!

      • Lez says:

        Sarah in Illinois, I can’t believe you don’t make your own Tahini! It’s so easy. You literally throw your sesame seeds in the blender to form a paste then gradually add your oil, a neutral oil, has to be said, or what ever oil you like actually! Blend to desired consistency. add salt. Done! The ONLY problem is having to buy store bought sesame seeds, although I can’t believe you don’t have a Sesame plant in your garden?! You may have to actually buy the seeds from the store…horrors! ;)

  8. Mama M says:

    Hi Karen

    Love ur site, and will be making these this weekend! Yum!
    About the sponges – I use these and highly recommend them. And no, it’s not yucky to remove as might be imagined. And yes, I have successfully been intimate while on my cycle, and no, he didn’t know, and no, it made no difference to my experience either. And no, I’m not an old hooker either, just wanted to pitch in my 2 cents worth :-)

    • Karen says:

      I nearly fainted with the Diva Cup so I don’t like my chances with make up sponges smashed up there, but I’ll give it a shot. ~ karen!

  9. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    OK…I usually enjoy reading the comments and I’m not really prudish but…you know how you can’t un-see something?..well you can’t un-read something either..barf….lol..What were we originally talking about?? Oh the baguettes & I buy my hummus too Karen…

  10. Ann Brookens says:

    Karen, you nut! I love you dearly!

  11. Kim says:

    For doggie breath, I feed my dogs parsley and have their teeth cleaned at the vet. Parsley is completely safe for dogs but I’m not sure about cats. Mine won’t eat plain parsley leaves so I chop it and sprinkle it into their food. It does seem to help but like us, once they become seniors and their teeth are bad, it’s hard to eliminate doggie breath completely LOL.

  12. Ann Brookens says:

    I laughed more over today’s post and comments than I have altogether all week! You guys are all hysterical! And please. No tutorials on how to use sea sponges in unmentionable places.

  13. Kim says:

    OMG, I love this site!! Karen, you rock! I just found you a few weeks ago so still getting to read all the archived stuff. I love reading your new posts each day and now I really love reading the comments too! (and just for the record, I hardly ever read the replies to any blog post). The replies to your posts are so great. This is such an entertaining group of people. I mean where else would I find old hooker tricks for home-made tampons??!!
    Now for my nerdy response haha: There is actually an International Olive Council and they determine the grade of the different types of olive oil based on several factors but mainly having to do acidity level and purity. EVOO is the first press of the olive and has to be mechanical only, no solvents or chemicals are allowed. Organic Cold-Pressed EVOO by a reputable company is heavenly! Yes, it’s expensive but once you do a taste comparison you’ll understand why people make such a fuss about it. It has an extremely low smoke point and will catch fire if you try to cook with it. It also turns extremely bitter. This purest level of olive oil is used for foods that aren’t cooked such as salads, bread dipping, pesto etc where the taste and mouth feel are better appreciated. Virgin olive oil is the second press and usually involves other methods to extract the oil such as heat or chemicals. It doesn’t taste anywhere near the same and once you’ve had really good EVOO, anything else will taste “chemically” to you. Light Olive oil is last press of the olives and usually has other types of oil added to it so that you can cook with it. AS for hummus and other DIY projects, it’s always a toss up for me. If I can buy it cheaper, easier or better than I can do on my own and it’s something I don’t particularly care about then I will. This frees up time and money for the projects that I’m really enthusiastic about :-)

    • IRS says:

      Excellent explanation, Kim. There are a couple of points that I would like to add. As a reader far above somewhere mentioned, there is quite an international scam going on regarding fake olive oil. I recall reading somewhere that almost half of the olive oil sold worldwide is not what the buyer thinks it is, but has had other (cheaper) oils added to it. If that is the case, then buyer beware. The higher the quality of the olive oil, the better it tastes when used unheated, and the healthier it is. Another factor in the quality and health of the oil is whether or not it has been filtered. Unfiltered oil appears to have a very fine sediment floating toward the bottom of the bottle. It doesn’t look as pretty as the filtered oil, but unfiltered is much tastier and healthier than its fancy pants filtered cousin. Here in Canada (I don’t know about the US), Costco sells a reasonably priced 2 bottle pack of unfiltered, cold pressed Italian EVOO. The brand name is “Il Grezzo”, and it is very tasty, not bitter, and great for everything. For those of us who are craftsy, artsy fartsy pack rats, the actual bottles it comes in are really nice. They are 10 sided heavy glass bottles, that even come with 2 caps each. One is a removable black cap with a rubber cork attached to it, and the other cap is one of those metal lever mechanisms that is attached to the bottle, and has a white stopper with a rubber gasket. I never throw the empties out, but recycle them for flavored oils and vinegars, and lots of other stuff.

      • Karen says:

        I actually like the regular Costco Olive Oil. It’s good. I’ll give the fancy bottled stuff a try next time! ~ karen

      • Kim says:

        Thanks so much IRS!! We also have Costco’s here in the US so I will definitely have to go find the Il Grezzo. The bottles alone sound lovely :-)

    • Pam says:

      Thanks for the great nerdy oily info, Kim! Lest you think this is the first time that tampons, sponges and other such topics have been broached here you’ll have to hunt down Karen’s HILARIOUS frozen yogurt tampon post! And, of course, the comments are always worth a read. I even find myself returning to posts to read comments that may have been added since my first reading. Welcome to the fun!

    • Karen says:

      Hi Kim! This still doesn’t solve my “Regular Virgin Olive Oil” problem. Why are all the virgins extra virgins? I plan to solve this in my lifetime right after eliminating cat breath in cats. ~ karen!

      • ronda says:

        can you do aomething to solve dog’s breath too please? I just about pass out when my dog wants to give me some puppy kisses!

        • IRS says:

          In my dog’s case, the key to eliminating bad breath was to get her pills for worms. The worms made her poop a lot, and so of course canine logic dictated that she eat what she just pooped. All of it. And then the same logic made her run right over to give Mom (that would be me) a friendly greeting. Since the canine in question was an Irish Wolfhound, her face was at such a high level that it was hard to escape. It has been many years since she has last been with us, and while I have many fond memories of her, the stench of that gorgeous face just inches from my own, still haunts my dreams. Hey, I’ll take your sea sponge-wearing hookers, and raise you one wormy poop-eating Wolfhound.

      • Kim says:

        I’m just guessing here but maybe it’s because they are the purest of the pure virgins, unsullied in both body, mind and spirit LOL. You know some of us play fast and loose with the definition of virgin. There is a lot of leeway in the definition here in the US. I even had a friend once tell me she was a “recycled” virgin because she hadn’t had sex in a year.

  14. Cathy Reeves says:

    Is that a store bought oven???

  15. RobinofEdm says:

    Superstore sells a no-name olive oil. Not EVO just olive oil.

    Ha-HA! Now you own me $700!

    Never mind – I’ll just poke my own eyes with this wooden spoon!

    Love your writing and your sense of hunour. Thanks for all the help with my tomatoes!

  16. Ruth Mattox says:

    I am nearly 82 and have never yet figured out what happened to all the virgin olive oil. Where did all the extra virgin olive oil come from, and what happened to the virgin? It boggles the mind. Maybe the virgins had a problem with the sponges, who knows. I have a perfectly beautiful Mexican olive tree blooming and producing olives in my own front yard, but ain’t about to start mashing those olives into oil. We have a lot of oil in Texas, but not from my front yard. Laugh over your comments every day and appreciate your entertaining an “age challenged” lady.

  17. Daphne says:

    You can buy non-extra virgine (or however you spell it) olive oils here in Holland. It’s cheaper. And we are Dutch so we like cheap. It has less “taste” and according to the bottle it’s for baking and cooking. The extra virgine looks darker and most bottles tell you it’s excellent for cold dishes. So most of the time I have a bottle of both.

  18. cary says:

    isn’t big bang theory the BEST!?!

  19. Megan says:

    *Wielding wooden spoon* That’s great, Karen… I mean, your hair is pretty fantastic.
    Also, I made hummus once. Then I went to the store to buy some. Because who keeps Tahini as a staple? Or maybe you’re “supposed” to make that too? I’m new to this.

  20. Megan says:

    I cry-laughed through this entire post. Your site is my favorite. I get twitterpated when it shows up in my email inbox. And then I read everything and burn my crostini… which has no rosemary on it because I have no artfully placed pots of it. Sad. I should do better.

    • Karen says:

      You really should do better Megan. I mean I’m kind of embarrassed for you. By the way, I made my own hair. Just so you know. ~ karen!

  21. Kim C says:

    Maybe you’re tired of hearing this but I’m going to say it anyway. YOU ROCK!
    Your writing makes me smile. This is the first time I’ve ever snickered out loud while reading a recipe!

    Also, only here could a recipe post turn into a succession of little boxes filled with tips and tricks about menstruation!!! Can just imagine how this conversation would have played out if we were all to gather in your backyard for homemade baguette crisps and your delicious store bought hummus. ;)

  22. julie says:

    If you want super smooth and creamy hummus like you get when you buy it you have to peel the garbanzos. Which….is just as much of a pain in the butt as it sounds like it would be. Although, it is strangely satisfying like popping bubble wrap. Unfortunately, it makes the hummus fantastic.

    • Lez says:

      Thank you Julie! I now know why my daughter’s boyfriend says it’s the “texture” that is different between homemade & store bought. Makes sense now. What a mission though!

  23. Ev Wilcox says:

    EWWWWWWW! I too like homemade-but there is a limit! As for the hookers? Can’t help wondering how the “retrievals” were done! Yikes! I have made (and will again) no knead baguettes but will sure buy them when I $%^& want to! You go girl! The icey tampons were far out enough-hoping for no tutorials on sponge ones! Love this blog Karen!

  24. Lea says:

    You all are on the ball today. What an amusing post and equally hilarious comments! Nicely done.

  25. BethH says:

    A couple of nights ago I kept hearing a small noise in the kitchen. I went in to investigate and tracked it down to the pot full of dried garbanzos that I was presoaking to cook the next day. The beans were popping and pinging against the side of the pot. Sure am glad I soaked them, because those must have been some gaseous little suckers! I did make some hummus with some of the cooked ones, because, well, I wanted to use some of them up. Usually I buy hummus. But I always cook dried beans, never canned. I have to go buy a day old baguette now. I’ll be making some tomato, garlic, basil topping, all from the garden to go along with it. But I don’t make my own olive oil, either.

  26. Tigersmom says:

    “I can’t believe I have to explain this to you.”


  27. BethH says:

    Karen, why don’t you grow an olive tree in your community garden, or better yet, the backyard, and press out your own extra virgin olive oil? I mean, it’ not that hard, really.

  28. Jo says:

    Thanks for a chuckle this morning! Now I’m hungry for baguette crisps, but eggs will have to do. And I can prove I’m awake because I didn’t pass over your instructions to bake 15 min then an additional hour and a half without my brain catching something amiss. My cell phone timer with an obnoxious tune is front and center – I know better than to trust myself to take something out of the oven (unless it’s lasagna – I never forget lasagna!)

  29. CG says:

    I love this community :-)

    • Gordy says:

      Me too! I stumbled upon Karen’s blog by some now forgotten accident a month or so ago and haven’t missed a single post. And I ALWAYS read the comments, at least the first 100 or so.

      Thank you Karen for introducing me to all this fun folks!

  30. Mary W says:

    I buy flavored baguette chips and they taste ok, are not fried, and work well scooping up whatever dip is on hand. BUT they can take a tooth out they are so hard. I love making my own but after one time – they tasted so wonderful, I had to quit. I ate the whole batch and I’m diabetic. Big mistake. So I buy the rock hard ones just so I don’t eat the whole bag at one time. When the doctor tells you – you are borderline diabetic – DO SOMETHING about it BEFORE you have to give up homemade baguette chips! I don’t think I would even listen to myself, if it were possible to go back in time and tell myself!

  31. Emily Carver says:

    QUOTE: “Go ahead. Give it a shot. They’re so easy to make. And take no time at all.”

    UNLESS you are watching House of Cards… just saying :-)

  32. Ruth says:

    Our grocery stores only sell vegetable oil and coconut oil, so there… $700 please. :D (you might want to add some sort of caveat to that offer to filter out folk from tiny islands. LOL)

    On account of EVOO being a scarce commodity only found at health food stores, islanders can be forgiven for thinking it’s something special. At almost US$30 per litre… these crisps had better be special. ;-)

    • Ruth says:

      Side note: Our grocery stores also don’t sell baguettes, but that’s okay because I make my own bread anyway. Theirs has a ‘chemical-ish’ flavour and a pasty mouth-feel.

    • Karen says:

      You’re kidding! I had no idea that you couldn’t get olive oil in Jamaica. Well, technically you can get it but … yikes. ~ karen!

      • IRS says:

        Yeah, but Ruth lives in Jamaica. Jamaica! Whereas I live on frozen tundra masquerading as a big city. Who cares about olive oil when she can lie on a gorgeous sandy beach in January, and get coconut oil smeared on her tanned body by a bronzed God island man-boy, while I sit shivering in the winter gloom, smearing my readily available olive oil on the winter cracked, dried out husks of my heels?

  33. Beckie says:

    Were you in my kitchen last night? I have a leftover baguette (from a 2-pack) and this morning I was wondering what to do with it. I am making garden veg soup today. This is what some might called kismet. Thanks!

    • Beckie says:

      I made them. As the pan sat on the counter, cooling, and getting scoffed up by my family I said, “I thought they’d be great with the soup tonight.” to which I was told, “Yeah, if they make it until the soup!”

      Thanks Karen!!

      PS: there are still a few left for the soup!

  34. IRS says:

    I buy things not to save money (well, sometimes) but to get what I want, when the store bought is not to my liking. Which reminds me, where the hell is the garlic in your recipe? You and I are in complete agreement that those who do not drink coffee should not only not be trusted, but must be pitched head first into an erupting volcano. They must be immediately followed by those who do not like garlic. Or those who use garlic powder. *shudders* Garlic is one of the 4 major food groups (along with alcohol, fat and chocolate), and that is why I make crisps. The store bought ones that proudly proclaim themselves to be “garlic flavored” were in fact merely baked in a factory with an employee who had eaten garlic in the past day, and forgot to wash his hands. Not my idea of a food containing garlic. If my post-dinner breath does not offend folks in the next county, then there wasn’t enough garlic in it. Your recipe doesn’t look bad, but it needs a lot more rosemary, and garlic, dammit! But at least there were no dead flies on it.

  35. Su says:

    never made hummus – no desire to… have made baguettes but only when snow bound and wanting some bread to bake….. @$1.99 or less I’ll buy it for the crisps…..

    somewhere like Karen said you need to draw the line…..
    I do grow my own tomatoes and flowers so I’m thinking that counts for something….

    In the states it seems there are many kinds of olive oil….. the light stuff is not less calories but mixed with other oils I’ve read (thanks for educating me Ms. Martha Stewart)…. lite meaning light in the olive oil amount…

    natural menstrual sponges? hmmm no but to each his own…..

  36. Kim says:

    You buy baguettes? I make my own…..well my bread machine makes it and I shape it and bake it….(ducking the wooden spoon)
    Great post and I love those crisps and have never made them and I am too cheap to buy them. You have just given me reason to start the bread maker.
    You made my day!

  37. Ann says:

    I make a lot of things. My own wine. My own yogurt. Natural soda pop, bread, pizza, ketchup, mayo…all home made. But hummus is always store bought. I have a brand I adore and there is no use even trying to come up with a better home made recipe.

    You are right. It is impossible to figure out what motivates us to make certain things and not others. I like to think I am spurred on by kitchen chemistry. Hence all the things that require a bit of science, like bread, the natural soda(really water kefir), yogurt and wine. I like that I understand what is happening during the production process. Fermentation, emulsification, and any other process that might be happening as I make my food.

    But it sounds like some of you could stand to read up on olive oil. You must educate yourself or you will end up buying doctored up corn oil which is so bad for you. In the US of A, just because it says it is olive oil does not mean it is a good product. Paying more is not just going to give you better flavor but will hopefully give you real olive oil that has not been treated with obnoxious chemicals.

    That said, I need to get into the kitchen. My husband is coming home from his radiation therapy vacation and I am making home made spaghetti sauce with every single thing having been grown on this property. Except the olive oil. And the pasta itself. I think that is the perfect welcome home dinner.

    • Karen says:

      It is! I’d love that as a welcome home dinner. Everybody loves spaghetti and meatballs! Did you way meatballs or did I just throw that in? I might have. But you don’t make your own pasta? But it’s so easy. ;) ~ karen!

  38. Cynthia Jones says:

    Hummus on pizza is yummy too Karen. Same flavouring as your yummy recipe I guess.

    But more handy for raising to your mouth without looking, as your eyes are glued to the screen doing a HBO marathon.

  39. brenda says:

    yes and don’t try it with the loofas just because you’ve already grown some and have them handy – am I ever glad I’m a menopausal mermaid … who doesn’t make her own hummus

  40. nancy says:

    @ Cynthia Jones no. I tried those menstrual cups before and that’s unpleasant. This sponge idea is worse. (and is one at a time enough??) I have been a nurse for 39 years and have ordered pizza and chinese during a gangrenous bowel operation at 2am. And that’s not all. So I know I was never too delicate for it. But thanks for sharing because I am sure there are others who will be very happy to hear of this.

    About olive oil, I found just plain olive oil at QFC. For making my own mayonnaise. Because it’s very easy.

    • Cynthia Jones says:

      Nancy. No, nothing like menstrual cups. Not unpleasant at all and far less risk of thrush and toxic shock.

      Also, make you able to swim in the ocean and rise horses on the beach in slow motion. :)

  41. Cynthia Jones says:

    You buy tampons?

    I don’t think I have told you about this “Old Hooker’s Trick”. No, I am not an old hooker.

    Buy three natural sea sponges in the small size, sold at the makeup section of pharmacies. Wet them to soften with water and whack them in the microwave for a minute to kills any seaborne greeblies.

    When that time comes, moisten one and squeeze out all excess moisture and insert. Once in place they do not move and are undetectable. Hence the Old Hooker’s use of them during their cycle they could still continue on with their profession with no evidence of their menstrual cycle and no detection by the client.

    This is just side information, I am not encouraging Hookering I am trying to save you money and trying to stop you from using something that is full of bleach right next to the most absorbent tissues in your body.

    It is easy to retrieve and rinse with clean water, and dry out in the sun. So, you can have one being used, one ready to go and one drying in the sun or soaking in some water with a bit of vinegar if you want to get all pendantic.

    Saves so much money, is not yukky at all and kinda nice to know you are a secret little mermaid underneath it all and nobody knows.

    I did this for years and I encourage all others to try it when appropriate. Like the girls who serve me at my local cafe’.

    • Robert says:

      That’s certainly an interesting tip, Karen maybe you could figure out how to grow sea sponges since you already tried with the loofas

    • IRS says:

      Well I was just about to chop up some nice, red tomatoes, but after that imagery, I think I’ll do that another time. Maybe I’ll have a drink, a nice Bloody Mary…….. Nope. Won’t be doing that now either. Guess the only thing to do now after reading that comment, is to go over to my neighbor’s Facebook page, and check out the latest photos of her sister. Who dresses like a hooker.

    • Kim from Milwaukee says:

      Easy to retrieve??? Even after ‘hookering’? Doesn’t it get shoved way up into the nether regions? How does one….oh nevermind. I don’t need them anymore anyway.

      Diva cup worked for me…now it’s an eyewash cup.

  42. Peg says:

    Just finished making my own hummus for the first time. But think I’ll do the crisp. Just picked up day old pre-sliced baguette, lucky me.Just sent away for a yogurt maker. Used to make my own over 35 years ago. So goofy what we choose to diy or buy. Enjoyed pics of your great garden.

  43. Grammy says:

    I made hummus once. It was good, but no better than the one made by my local grocer, and clearly inferior to that made by a local middle-eastern restaurant, available for take-out. Factor in cleaning up the mess, carry the three, and I buy hummus.

    Your conversation with a stranger about DIY gum is among your best. Thanks for that. I’m going to read it again because it’s just that good.

  44. Haydée says:


  45. Chris says:

    Was there wine involved perchance? If not, and your brain works like that without it, you should bottle that up. D.I.Y. hilarity.

  46. Wendy says:

    I guess they call it “extra virgin” because it’s unsullied. Like the army on “Game of Thrones.” Not to be confused with the less virginal olive oil (I guess one might call that “lube” . . . I don’t know . . . I’m riffing while I can’t sleep.) Not even sure where you’d find that. Hah! I mean, what does one do with sullied olive oil? Does it exist? Is it murky and dirty and good for nothing? Like half the characters on “Game of Thrones”?

  47. Milton says:

    Thanks so much for the great post. I don’t like hummus but I love fresh tomatoes with basil, olive oil and the crisps from day-old (or actually expiring that day at Wal-Mart rack) is a wonderful idea. SAM’s in the US usually stocks light olive oil which I’ll be happy to ship you a gallon for $700. We’ve used it for years and prefer it over the EVO for everyday cooking. Keep up the great blog entries, your email is my favorite of the day!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Milton! :) I don’t plan on quitting any time soon. Not until my mortgage is paid off anyway. ~ karen!

      • Hilda Munk says:

        Here!Here! I can’t wait to read your post. I so love your creativness in so many areas. But, mostly I love to laugh. ThankYOU!!

  48. Ishrath says:

    where is the wooden spoon? i never saw the wooden spoon!

  49. Leslie Best says:

    Bahahahahaha!!! I have this conversation all the time!

    Girl at the farmers market – “Oh but it’s so easy to make your own almond milk..”

    Me – “Screw you sister, I have a 3 kids and a husband with two careers”

    Having said that, I make my own hummus. And Jay loves it.

    • ellenk says:

      Too much. My sisters came to visit a few weeks ago and one of them (named Karen) had made her own hummus, was soo proud of it until I pointed out that hers was made with canned chickpeas while MINE was made from those that I cooked from scratch. It was so easy, you know. Sisters, hey? Not quite sure whose tasted better but the stuff from the store is good too. Roasted red pepper hummus, mmmmmm.

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