Here it is 10 p.m. again and I'm just starting to write tomorrow's post. Why you ask? I was on the phone explaining they/them to Betty.
I want you to imagine how many hours that took and then add another 4 days onto it. Betty has mainly got over Covid. So she's feisty.
She had a couple of sketchy days this week with either a bit of rebound or something else entirely, but her only symptom now is feeling tired and incessantly reminding me to get my booster shot. (done)
Betty has taken to watching Jeopardy over the past couple of years and every time someone is on that she deems interesting, she demands I also watch.
Earlier this year it was Canadian contestant Mattea Roach. Every night she was on I'd get a text message that said "Jeopardy", which was inevitably followed by a text at 8 p.m. that said "She won".
My response was either "Oh good.", "I saw" or "Who is this and how did you get my number?".
We are now at the latest Jeopardy contestant of interest, Rowan Ward. I spoke to my mother on the phone earlier today and she said I had to watch Jeopardy tonight. I hadn't heard that since the tragic big bet loss of Ryan Long.
She told me I had to watch because she liked Rowan. Also, Rowan was something a bit different - Betty just didn't know quite what. So I said, yes I'd watch Jeopardy to see what she meant.
After watching for a few minutes I texted Betty with my assessment.
So that's when, even though I knew it was going to be a struggle and possibly lead to both of us having an acute aneurysm - I explained they/them to Betty.
She's 87, AND she's watched Orange is the New Black, so Betty knows a thing or two. Especially about 30 second long lesbian sex encounters in prison cafeterias.
This is how I explained it, and at this moment I ask all the they/thems among us to please forgive me if I've made a mess of this.
I told Betty that the best description I could give was that there are REALLY feminine women and REALLY masculine men. And then there's everyone else.
I'd say I'm lower down on the feminine side. I really don't have a lot of traditionally feminine traits other than being smokin' hot.
Both of my sisters are MUCH higher than me on the feminine scale but neither one of them could ever wear the queen of femininity crown. Pink Tool Belt has her "manly" saw collection (miter, table, jig, band) and Fish Pedicure always, always, ALWAYS has her nails done and loves pretty things but she's 100% going to give you the finger and curse you out if you anger her on the road.
I believe I used Zsa Zsa Gabor in a desperate attempt to describe ultra feminine to Betty, but really Zsa Zsa was probably not a good example on account of she assaulted a police officer after he pulled her over for expired tags.
"Nice" feminine women don't drive around with a flask of Jack Daniels in their Rolls Royce, slapping police officers. Or anyone probably.
I'm losing control of this post and I only have 1 minute before midnight.
Shit, (there's that lack of femininity in me) I have to hurry this up.
So I explained to Betty that there are degrees of femininity and masculinity. Some are high on the scale, some are low, and some people feel like they're kind of neither. Or both. Sort of in the middle.
This is all according to our culture's stereotypical traits, at this moment in time. Feminine and masculine looked different in the 1400's for example. And the 1500's and 1600's and ... you get the picture.
I tried to make it as basic as possible for her to grasp the idea and did a lot of gesturing with my hands in the form of a U graph which was only seen by my cat, Philip and a possible piece of fluff / possible spider on the kitchen counter where I stood.
This is what I was trying to convey ...
Yes, there's more to it than this, yes I'm sure my explanation has angered at least one person to the point of their head exploding like a piece of popcorn. But the answer seemed to satisfy Betty.
They won by the way. Rowan. They'll be on next week's Tournament of Champions on Jeopardy.
I'm not sure which night it is, but I am sure Betty will send me a text to let me know whether they won.
Oh. And I know you're wondering about the skirt in the text message. It's a plaid wool skirt that Betty has decided is awful, but not as awful as she thought it was going to be. I bought it at a flea market for $20 last week and it was hanging to dry.
She wanted to see it.
I will look smokin' hot in this. But not as smokin' hot as Harry Styles would.
A new puzzle and the puzzle winner from last week for you tomorrow because I ran out of time tonight. The puzzle is Halloween themed which is why the first photo in this post is a skull, lol.
Click below if you want to pay 7 bucks and join me and hundreds of other procrastinators in this year's Christmas Pledge (deluxe)
O.K. seriously though, go away now.
Jody
I really like and appreciate how you explained the spectrum of gender identity to Betty. And so pleased to hear Betty is on the upswing.
Connie in Tucson
Now I REALLY like you.
Deborah
So glad to learn that Betty is on the mend, and in such a funny, Karen explained and illustrated way! :)
I believe you are correct, sorry Betty, that skirt has great colors for you!! I can envision you walking Phillip on a black (bonus point if it's a hot pink) leash, wearing black boots and tights, maybe a gray, black or hot pink turtle neck sweater, hip length black coat, and another bonus point, wearing a beret hat in gray, black or pink! Be sure to post a pix on IG! :)
Amber
I read that morel mushrooms are thought to have at least 16,000 different genders. And are capable of reproducing asexually as well. I think we humans have got it easier.
Though not necessarily better.
Cathrine Osberg
Nice Feminine women DO, however, drive around in their Nissan Sentras with a flask of Jack Daniels (one day), Stoly the next, and Tullamore D.E.W. when the mood hits! Glad to hear that Betty is back with fire and frisk!
Nicole W.
They. They did not disappoint.
CathyR
I used to work in PJs (scrubs) and wore a Deli Lady blue hat so you’ll get no fashion advice from me. But you’ll get a thrashing for your choice of Dwayne over Idris and a box of bandaids might not cover it.
Have a scary weedend
Mark
Rowan had me worried on day 2, but she did not disappoint. I'm not sure about the accuracy of your U-graph (or whatever you call it) but I'm sure you are correct about you wearing that skirt...
JaLea
Karen, I am afraid I might have given Betty covid. I too am recovering - albeit much slower than Betty it sounds like - maybe I'm lacking the Jeopardy component. But I just felt the need to tell you that you are so stinkin' funny. I needed a good sarcastic laugh and you gave it to me! Didn't really care about the topic - it's easy, penis this door, vaginas that door, see, I sorted it. You made me laugh and I think that was just what my fatigued-self needed today. Tell Betty to hang tough and you keep churning out the posts- I need to get better faster!
Jane
Glad to hear that Betty is back on track. Love the skirt! And you'll definitely be smokin' hot in it, you cool cat! Don't even want to touch the they/them subject.
Mary W
It must be an age thing(76) - I don't understand what your wrote today. Even after seeing the pretty graph. I did finally drag out the credit card since you don't do Paypal. I've never completely done the pledge but always work at it. My favorite part is putting cookies in the freezer! I don't understand the term overweight, also! How can you be over your weight?
Joyce
The older I get the more I feel asexual… but that description might not be on the spectrum. Not that anyone cares, but I am sitting in my Vermont house wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt ( no bra, too confining) and the rural uniform of a flannel shirt. I am awaiting the visit from my grandchildren. I own no skirts, 1 caftan. I have not worn a knife pleated wool skirt since I was an eighth grader in Florida.
Things change…as a career woman I wore my share of pretty dresses and shoes. Now, the dogs and chickens don’t care what I wear, although the chickens are partial to my chicken patterned barn boots.
Good job explaining tough stuff to Betty. Good that she is on the mend and you got your booster!
Deb from Maryland
I'm glad to hear Betty is back to her feisty self. As a hetero white woman, I think your explanation was helpful. Your breakdown was presented in a way that a much "previous" generation could absorb. (and some of my generation (boomer) as well!)
It's not that this type of person hasn't existed before, it's that we now have language that can define those differences. Your mom doesn't have to "believe" it, but to respect people who are different from you, and are no threat to society, is a part of being a decent human being.
Paula
Right on Deb.
Suzy
Love jeopardy., but it is incomprehensible to me that people are posting such hateful messages on the jeopardy Instagram account. Don’t they know that she can read them? Yes she is different but do we want a world without people who have different quirks?
I am definitely missing the feminine gene
Marilyn Meagher
I love jeopardy! I miss Alex ..😢so glad Betty’s on the mend .hilarious post by the way. I , like Betty didn’t quite understand the they/them thing. Thanks for the clarification!
Grammy
Happy to hear Betty's better. My son and I watch Jeopardy every night -- I watched it as a young mother when Art Fleming first began. My memory isn't what it used to be, but he sometimes lets me take credit for a right answer if I give the name of a book the person wrote or a fast description of what they look like or what the chemical does when I can't come up with the word itself. He's in his late 50s and still has an encyclopedic brain, so he's a good son to let me feel like I haven't completely lost it all. Not surprised that Betty is on the best side of history, evolving with the times and trying to keep up with changes is what keeps us from shriveling up and blowing away on the first breeze. You're a good daughter, too.
John Truex
Loved "smokin' hot" and glad Betty is doing well.
marcia
Karen, as soon as I read "Betty's all better for $1000", I knew exactly what your post was going to be about. (Huge Jeopardy fan here 🤔) Happy you could explain "they/them" to Betty. Your explanation was easier to understand than any that I have heard before. The one takeaway for me is that Rowan appears to be happy in their own skin...and, isn't that what really matters? 💗
Anne Jones
❤️
TucsonPatty
I thought that skull was to show Betty’s head exploding! 😂 Funny. I’m glad Betty is doing better! I’m okay with they/them - it’s just hard to remember sometimes. I’m good with it - just being respectful.
Thanks, Karen!
krista
would have to query the place of Dwayne from Tilda🤔
Randy P
I would never dispute how any person "feels" about themselves any more than I'd permit any person to demand of me that I agree and support how they "feel" about themselves. I have enough effort expended trying to make it through MY day on my terms. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings, but not their own facts. As long as the two lone sexes/genders of male & female continue to procreate as evolution dictates for mammals, their remains hope for the continuation of humanity.
I am pleased to hear that your mom is continuing on the uphill struggle to mend from the 'Vid and wish her all the best. And I do believe you will indeed look quite cute in the plaid.
Jacquie
Sex and gender are not the same, and regarding sex you’re leaving out intersex people. Regarding gender you’re leaving out numerous people - anywhere from half a dozen to a few dozen depending on the cultural constructs of the person referenced. All facts. 🙂
Randy P
And in real life I identify as Idris Elba.......... and Karen STILL won't invite me to her house for romance.