I went outside to feed the chickens yesterday morning to discover a massive bag of bras on my back porch. Actually, I could have formed that sentence a few different ways. I also could have said for instance that I went outside to feed the chickens yesterday morning to discover a bag of massive bras on my porch. Both are true.
One of my relatives, I won’t say who to protect her massive bosom in the same way these circus sized bras did, left them on my porch. You see, this relative of mine, she’s a female, took one look at my chest area the other day and said, Your boobs are bigger than I thought they were. Um. Thanks?
I normally don’t like boob tops and I don’t wear them. A boob top, for those of you who don’t know, are tops that show your boobs off. I prefer the sleek look of a barely there bosom, but clavical and even chest all the way down to the navel are allowed. So a cross between a Mennonite and Cher. I just don’t like the gooey stuff sticking out.
I guess I happened to have one of my more revealing sawdust covered tee shirts on that day and my secret was out. My name’s Karen. And I have boobs.
These bras that were left on my porch looked brand new and brand LARGE. Huge. They were the kind of thing you would put on your head when you were a kid and then prance around the living room during the grown up party.
As it turns out, my relative was getting rid of all her bras for whatever reason and thought they’d probably fit me.
Knowing the only way these things would fit me is if I wore them on my ass, I had to come up with some other thing to do with them. Because they’re really nice bras. Pink and sparkly with rhinestones and lacy.
And that is when I remembered the bra planter.
Those are the majority of the photos I could find of this exquisite wonder of the gardening world. A sophisticated trend first started on the grounds of the Palace of Versailles I’m certain.
This got me to start thinking of bras in an entirely new way. The many, many uses for them that we have been ignoring completely. Twin recycle bins for in the bathroom, purses, backpacks! The possibilities truly are endless and really quite intriguing. Imagine walking into your next dinner party holding your hot casserole, each hand snugly fit inside the foam cups of your Victoria’s Secret DD oven mitts.
If a bra planter is your sort of thing, I am happy to have provided some unique inspiration for your garden this year. If not … at least you know what to do the next time you can’t find your oven mitts.
Have a good weekend!