In my head, this is how last week's Rose Cake post was going to go; publish post, wait for the comments come rolling in. The comments would be: the cake looks great and what an ordeal but that PEDESTAL! THAT CAKE STAND! WHERE DID THE CAKE STAND COME FROM? It was going to be question after question about the glorious cake stand until I finally broke down and let you know I MADE the cake stand and everyone could calm down because I was going to do a post on it.
I had it all figured out.
Instead the comment section turned out to be a free-for-all on who has the best carrot cake recipe and then all the brussels sprouts loving weirdos starting trying to make me like brussels sprouts again.
Nobody asked about the pedestal. No one.
Assholes.
But just to show I'm not one to carry a grudge (or a concealed weapon) I'm going to show you how to make this cake stand anyway. Even though we've established you're assholes. Who eat brussels sprouts.
This is kind of complicated, the sort of thing that I probably wouldn't recommend you try unless you're really confident in your ability to glue one thing to another. So mainly you need either one working hand or even just a good set of teeth and a strong armpit.
Materials
Round Marble cutting board / cheese tray
1 bowl
Silicone
Technique
1. Remove any stickers, foot pads from marble.
2. Center the base of your bowl onto the underside of the marble.
3. Mark around the base of the bowl with a pencil.
4. Run bead of silicone around the bowl base.
5. Set bowl back on centre of marble using pencil mark as a guide.
6. Allow to dry for several hours before moving or using.
I got my hunk of marble for $14.99 at Homesense. That's Homegoods to you American folks. I found the exact same one for $19 on Amazon. It's really pretty. It has bits of sparkle in it. Natural sparkle. Not stripper sparkle.
The bowl is from Dollarama which I already had in my cupboard and I always keep silicone on hand because you never know when you're going to have to glue it to his leg.
The hardest part of this whole project was scraping the label off of it. For $14.99 you apparently don't get one of those easy to peel off labels.
The board had little felt feet so I scraped those off too. (those of you using your armpit and teeth can wedge the board under your arm and just gnaw away at the feet. They'll come off lickity split)
Now rest.
You've spent 2 minutes removing sticky things. Now you need to get down to real work with a real tool. A pencil. Centre your bowl to the underside of the marble, with the base of the bowl touching the base of the marble. Mark it with a pencil.
Once you've marked the circle, flip the bowl over and run a bead of silicone around it.
Do it as neatly as possible. So nothing like mine.
Place the bowl back on the marble, lining it up with the pencil mark.
Wipe away any silicone that oozes out.
Now you have a beautiful marble cake stand that was fun and inexpensive to make. If you have better acquaintances than I do, everyone will rave and rave about it, asking where you got it from and how could they get one too. That PEDESTAL! THAT CAKE STAND! WHERE DID THE CAKE STAND COME FROM? That's what they'll say.
Of course I rarely have a cake to put on a cake stand but it looks great with other food items on it as well. Cake plate or Shake n' Bake plate this one's a winner.
Marti
Ok, this is all fine and "Oh wow, the cake is great but the stand is AMAZING!"
But here's my question: I have the metal frame of a small (14-16 inch diameter) table approximately 2 feet tall. It is missing the table "top." I want to remake the top so that I can put it outside my entrance door, in the rain and snow.
Someone just gave me a 12"x12" carrera marble tile and a threshold to go with it. Not the doorway... just the threshold.
How do I combine the small table top and frame and the marble pieces to fill in the marble table for my entryway, please? Creativity much appreciated.
equineloco
just found your site. LOVE IT! Humor (1st priority) and well done tutorials, great combination.
We too have chickens. Their names say it all. We have Darth Vador, Snotball, and Monster, and Flapjack to name just a few. We no longer hatch our own because apparently our drinking water produces 5 rooster per on hen baby. It's nothing to crow about. And because we never eat them, you can hear crowing 24hours a day. I look forward to following your post. I need more laughter, less roosters.
Sarah
Resting is my favorite thing to do.
Laura
I have been longing to have beautiful cake stands of various levels. This one is so lovely, it will be my first. Where oh where do you get a Siamese to help you like that? Just kidding, they help with everything.
This is going to be my first ever blog person I subscribe to. I hope I don't become one of those assholes you speak of.
Karen
Ha! Siamese really are very "helpful" aren't they? Kind of like men. And if you're here, you're already one of those assholes. Don't worry. It's a good thing. ~ karen!
tajicat
Clever! Love the chicken and the cat! Lots of laughs reading your blog and the comments. My fav had to be the part about the armpit and the gnawing, laughed so much I almost fell off my chair! :)
Karen
Well don't do that. You might lose an arm. ~ karen!
Tricia Rose
BEST chicken-porn photo ever Karen!
Olga
And if you flip it up side down, you got yourself a tray with a bowl for a dip (o:
Andrea Meyers
laughing. so. hard. My aunt had one missing arm. No, really. The 'good set of teeth and a strong armpit' comment had me on the FLOOR. I got a visual of her trying to cut the sourdough bread.....oh. Thank you for the flashback!!
Now, I'm going to just go enjoy my day as a standard asshole.
Karen
Love that! I knew someone would appreciate that particular visual. ~ karen!
virginia
Fantastic photographs of chicken and cat! You can tell you have been working on photography! Thanks for the laughs.
Karen
Thanks Virginia! ~ karen
Bonnie
Karen,
Most of your readers are assholes because they are INTJs. If you had more FPs, you would feel the warmth and nonjudgemental acceptance. We FPs may not make most of the things you post about, but we love them, and you, unconditionally.
Bonnie
Penny
INTJs? FPs? Please decode for me.
Helen
Oh, how I wanted to mention the cake stand in the earlier post! I longed to gush and exclaim and tell you how wonderful it was.
But, knowing you'd be embarrassed by such an outpouring of adulation, I sat on my cheesecake-frosting-encrusted hands and said nothing.
Next time, I'll know better.
Christie
I also did not notice the cake stand - but - it's lovely. As for the asshole thing, when I first met my husband, a colleague told me that he was "kind of an asshole." I said - "That okay - he's my kind of asshole!!"
And I don't know why you're surprised that (a) you got a million carrot cake recipes after that post or that (b) we all missed the fabulous cake stand. Because for a bunch of INTJ's - what do you expect??!!
Thanks for the smile! I have to go find my silicone....
Elen @ Elen G
Hell, yeah. I'm doin' it!
Laura Bee
You are all just too funny. And Karen, you are the Guardian of all that is furred, feathered & frosted. And The Funniest of All.
Ryn
I'll admit that I'm an asshole, but honestly that cake stand is sweet.
Karen
Well at least you an admit it. That's the first step. ~ karen!
Sonia
Please, please, please do a post about removing sticky labels.
Signed,
Asshole
Jan in Waterdown
If you can get your hands on a product called Citrasolv, it's all you will EVER need to remove tough sticky labels or glue residue and lots of other stubborn stuff. It smells nice and a little goes a long way.
Mindy
I didn't even notice the cake stand in the other post. So yes, I'm an asshole who literally just ate Brussels sprouts two days in a row. And I have the world's best carrot cake recipe. ;)
Kelli
you just gave me a wedding gift idea! Hooray for your FABULOUS, GORGEOUS, STUNNING and SIMPLE cake stand! and OMG i love Home Goods/Sense!
A**hole
At the risk of being called an asshole--you are too funny.
IRS
Yes, I AM an asshole, but that has nothing to do with the cake stand. I actually assumed that you HAD made the cake stand, since Pinterest (remember that evil site?) has been showing cake stands made from a cheap glass plate glued to a cheap glass dish for ages. I just assumed you upscaled the idea, because I expect impressive things from you. As for attaching the male member to the male, if you want a method that is terribly uncomfortable (i.e. teaches him whatever lesson you want him to learn), but does no lasting damage (you may yet have use for the male or the member), just buy an XXS pair of Spanx, and use a pair of pliers to pull them on him. I assume he is fully compliant at the time due to a state of induced unconsciousness. You then have the choice of which Spanx leg to package the offending member in. Finally, I love the last photo, and since I am clearly not the sentimental type, when can we expect a recipe for that delicious looking buzzard?