We are entering the holiday season. For the next month you'll be at the mercy of your mouth. How long before the calories from the bacon wrapped shortbread you just scarfed down turn into fat?

"I wonder how long it takes for what you eat to turn into fat. Like if I eat a really big meal, HUGE, 10,000 calories, when will that fat show up? "
That was one of the questions my sister posed a while ago when we were talking on the phone. I know. Talking on the phone. Like cave people.
With the holidays coming up, but not quite here it's quite easy to have all the resolve in the world and promise yourself you'll watch what you eat. Then you see a Terry's chocolate orange for sale at the cash register. And someone offers you homemade cookies. And on and on until you don't fit into your underwear.
I wasn't sure if my sister's question about how long it takes to gain weight was hypothetical or if she was currently sitting in front of 12 Big Macs with plans to wear a non-stretch bodysuit tomorrow hanging in the balance.
Just 2 weeks ago I realized myself that I've become the sort of person who thinks rice pudding isn't meant to be served in bowls because it's obviously meant to be served in pots.
I said, You mean once you eat, how long before you can't stretch denim over your thighs anymore? I dunno. It takes 24 hours to digest food or something like that and I guess that's when it would take out the calories it needs and vitamins and stuff but ... I don't know.
And what about calories? I mean, eating fat I can understand. It's already fat so it must just frantically grab onto something as it slides through your body and not let go. That way it just becomes a part of another blob of fat in your body. But calories from, say sugar, do they have to go through some sort of fat bootcamp to become fat? I can't believe I've never worried about this before.
We exhausted the discussion at that point and went on to talk about other pertinent topics of the day like whether or not stirrup pants should ever make a comeback.
But after we hung up I couldn't stop wondering about the whole fat thing. How long does it take for that donut to turn into a muffin top?
It's a lot sooner than you probably think.
If you'd like 2 surprising ways to get rid of fat I have the answer for you. It's not what you'll be expecting.
I did a lot of reading and a lot of researching and it made my head spin, which is good because spinning burns calories. I've tried to condense everything into an easy to understand timeline on the cycle of calories and fat. In case you're interested in this sort of thing.
If you are not - that's fine. Go live the dream and eat an entire pot of Danish rice pudding for me. And don't skimp on the whipped cream.
How Long Does it Take to Gain Weight.
From calorie to fat.
Would you like to save this stuff?
This is an incredibly basic explanation of it all.
7:00 a.m. You wake up, have a black coffee then end up working and running around the rest of the day without eating anything.
6:00 p.m. You haven't eaten a thing so you have zero calories in you. You scarf down a BIG meal. A Big Mac Meal with large fries, 6 chicken McNuggets and a chocolate shake. Mmmmm. That's 1850 calories.
10:00 p.m. Your body starts storing the first 1,000 calories from that meal to use as immediate reserves that your body can quickly access when it needs energy. Those first 1,000 calories are stored in your liver and muscle immediately. These are called glycogen calories. The other 850 are extras you don't need immediately so the body turns THOSE calories into fat cells known as triglycerides. This all starts happening after 4 hours.
Your meal was 1850 calories. A pound of fat is made up of 3,500 calories. That means technically you have just stored enough calories for ½ pound of fat.
10:01 p.m. You're now freaking out because you know you just gained half a pound in 4 hours. Calm down. It's only there temporarily and only part of it becomes fat.
10:02 p.m. The first 1,000 glycogen calories of that Big Mac meal start being used immediately as energy for your body even if you don't feel like you're doing anything. Your body burns those calories just to lift your arm, beat your heart, or roll over in your sleep. In fact, just being a human being means you're going to burn 1,000 - 1,500 calories in a day even if all you do is lay in bed.
10:15 p.m. You decide you will indeed lay in bed for the rest of your life because what's the point. So you're going to burn 1,500 calories doing nothing! Yay! But what about those 850 calories you ate over and above what your body will naturally burn? They have indeed already turned into fat. ¼ of a pound. Or 8 Tablespoons of fat. If you don't exercise, move more, do STUFF to get rid of those fat calories that immediately plastered themselves to your gut, they're staying with you. O.K. You decide you won't spend the rest of your days laying in bed.
8:00 a.m. You slept all night, you get up and start the laundry going, you go for a run and mid run your 1,000 calorie reserve is gone so your body needs to go into the 850 calories it turned into fat last night. At that moment, you start burning fat. If you didn't go for a run or do something that burns a lot of calories, you wouldn't get into the phase where you burn fat cells. Booooo.
9:30 a.m. You eat breakfast and it all starts over again, building up your reserve of 1,000 calories. If your breakfast is 1,000 calories that means your body will burn off those easy to get to 1,000 glycogen calories before anything else. They're easy access. But if you only eat a 300 calorie breakfast, your body will burn those 300 calories and then will be forced to get its energy from those fat cell triglyceride calories that are otherwise known as ass fat.
Understand?
That's the long answer.
The short answer is your calories start the process of turning into fat as soon as 4 hours after eating them. But it would take a couple of weeks of eating too many calories for that fat to show up in a meaningful way. In a muffin top way. An extra 850 calories a day for two weeks without adding any exercise to your daily routine will mean at the end of 2 weeks you'll have gained ¼ pound of fat every day for 14 days. In two weeks you've gained 3.5 pounds. Think it'd be hard to eat an extra 850 calories every day? That's half of a large bag of potato chips.
And that is the story of why I can't buy potato chips anymore.
I'm going to be spending a lot more time paying attention to the activity monitor on my Apple Watch now that I actually really understand it.
The Apple Watch and the less expensive Fitbit both count your "active calories" burned. Those are the calories you've burned over and above what you're already burning just being a living human.
So if you pay attention to when you ... overindulge ... you can bump up your activity level the following days and easily track it on your watch. It really does work. I mean if you try.
Walking off cholesterol on the other hand? That's a whole other donut.
O.K. now that I have an answer to her question, I have a phone call to make.

Good to know this the day after my 69th birthday where I ingested a large slice of ice cream cake and, throughout the day, 3 glasses of wine, along with pita chips. But I did drink my requisite amount of water. Oh, well, I decided it was my last birthday before I hit the 70th decade, so I could do what I want. Today is a different story. I will be continuing the water, but eating tons of fresh greens from my garden today.
BTW, thank you for the tip on pruning back my squash plants. Oh my, it looks like the buds for squash and zucchini ramped up production overnight.
I snorted coffee out my nose at your stirrup pants comment.
No. No. No. Nevereverever. Only for a Halloween costume.
Thank you for continuing to share your unique insights, energies and wicked smart humor with us.
I've been a long time fan and reader of your blog, and will remain one for the DIY and your sense of humour. I have always particularly loved the way you always cook real food with good ingredients and taught me the best way to make everything from hot potato chips (fries) to chocolate cake. But this is the first time I recall you ever mentioning weight or calories or how to avoid gaining weight. I have never believed in demonising foods, everything is just food and moderation is key. If you can't be moderate with bags of crisps, don't buy them; of course do what works for you, I guess.
But I am still a little disappointed, even though health is far from the focus of your blog. Like many women I've struggled to accept my body just as it is. Now towards the end of my 40's I'm finally getting there; I maintained a steady weight even if it was a little bit heavier than diet culture told me it should be. A recent sudden illness saw rapid weight loss of around 7kg - (wouldn't recommend it) and I don't feel quite like myself without the extra padding. I'm now needing to find healthy ways to regain weight and strength. So maybe I'm being a bit extra sensitive or something.
Dear Karen, I love this post! But that extra indefinite article in the title is driving me crazy!!!!!
If I eat more than 900 calories a day I gain weight. It's been this way for decades. I try to keep my weight under 110 and am 5'3".
*sigh* what depressing news . . . Thanks for the explanation! I posted a link to this post on Facebook because I thought it was great to find an easy to understand answer to this mystery.
Nice text but not entirely true. You need quite a huge amount of energy just to keep your organs working+ energy to digest the food and turn it into body heat. If you just laid down the whole day without moving or eating you'de burn at least 1200-1500 calories a day(including night when your brain is doing hard work to process all the information you got and growth hormones repairing/making muscles stronger etc) +digesting protein consumes energy 30% of the amount of calories you get from protein(and from a big mac beef and chicken meat you get lots of it). Digesting carbs consumes energy about 4%, fat 0%. And body stores carbs about 2000kcal to liver and muscles. There wouldn't be left enough calories to turn to body fat. Our body is a complex system.
Yes, the post says most of that. "The first 1,000 glycogen calories of that Big Mac meal start being used immediately as energy for your body even if you don't feel like you're doing anything. Your body burns those calories just to lift your arm, beat your heart, or roll over in your sleep. In fact, just being a human being means you're going to burn 1,000 - 1,500 calories in a day even if all you do is lay in bed." My goal was to make the text digestible (ha!) and understandable for the average person wondering about how long it takes to turn a calorie into fat. ~ karen!
My phone showed only half of your text, now my comment looks silly, haha. Thanks anyway
Oh! ha! No problem. ~ karen
OMG THANK YOU
After trying to get an answer to this with other resources, you made this really easy to understand!
Good! Glad I could help. ~karen!
The answer to the stirrup pants is no. They should not. But I'm sure whoever keeps trying to force harem pants on us will try that as well.
LOL!! But I looked so svelte in them! I know, that was then...
Let me just say, I miss stirrup pants. :-)
A related question. How can I weigh first thing in the morning, then go to the gym, come home, weigh again and be heavier? That seems impossible.
Do you drink water at the gym?
It could be muscle weight
Looks like your next research, Karen: how long does it take for food to turn into muscle?
So red wine is still okay! Happy Dance - well it is good for you. :-)
Years ago I managed to gain 8 pounds in two weeks in France. Despite all the walking from being a tourist I ate way too many crêpes and crème brûlées! I'm still impressed that I managed to do that!
Screw it, Ima have a pasta donut with Nutella and maple syrup right now before bed. HAHAHA...
I don't think stirrup pants should make a comeback. That, and I ate an entire peanut buster parfait on Sunday.
After my week of indulging on a super yacht in Komodo, I was wondering this exact thing too. Literally. True story.
I probably deserve it after mentioning 'super yacht'
Oh, did I tell you about the time I spent a week on a luxury super yacht in Komodo?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh you "sugar burners" have so much to worry about. If you like nutritional research look into nutritional ketosis and intermittent fasting and a fun phenomenon called autophagy.
It's an advanced way of eating/ not eating that I use to control my diabetes (thanks chemo, you're an asshole). You could do the occasional short fast and still eat potato chips. I on the other hand can't really eat anything but cabbage and steak, which is why I'm just generally crabby. ;)
Just an alternative to the expensive tech gadgets, I got a Xiaomi MiBand 2 from banggood.com & I love it. I wasn't sure how much I'd track but I really get quite a bit of use from it, and it's only $30 usd. Also found out my Apple Health app on my phone has been automatically tracking my steps & activity (you just have to enable it in the settings) so the tracking band is an extra reminder to get up & move, or take your heart rate if you're into that.
UGH. THANKS A LOT, KAREN.
I'm trying so hard to steer clear of wheat* and sugar and you show me a big stinkin gloopy yummy delicious donut.
Sheesh...if you can't trust your friends who can you trust???
*Wheat bad: http://tinyurl.com/z32lnaq
Oh, Kelli.
I don't subscribe to the demonization of foods. Nor do I subscribe to science done the way this doctor is reporting. "I noticed a pattern", he says. Science requires a study: Two groups, one avoids wheat, the other doesn't. Measurements and blood tests are done in the beginning and the end of the study, also along the way, funding allowing. The larger and more varied the groups, the more relevant the results will be. Try and control for different things than wheat in the diet that could affect the results: everything, from disease, to lifestyle, to the rest of the diet. Other scientists do the same study and try to get the same results. If any of those results aren't what they expected, there is probably something else at play and it should be investigated. Such a cruel mistress is science.
Has he done that? No. Are those kinds of studies reliable? No. There are too many variables in the diet, genetics and lifestyle to account for, they are expensive, should be long term and there is not a lot of funding for this.
I would never, ever banish a food from my diet based on pseudo science. Wheat bread, as made by large companies, is probably not the best thing. Wheat berries, that are just the whole wheat, unprocessed, aren't the devil. If you can make your own whole wheat bread it will be much better than store bought, by the way. Besides, doughnuts are delicious and I will have them when I can get some. :)
Thanks Leticia, I appreciate you. While I believe in moderation (hard enough to do!) I've read enough and learned enough to know that over the past 30-40 years, processed/GMO/bad foods have increased, and health overall has decreased. This is fact. Now I love me a donut as much as anyone, but I choose to steer clear because there are better substitutes out there. Blessings!
i was always curious about that, but could never be bothered to look it up.
enter: Karen! awesome info!!!!!
I'm of the tribe of homo sapiens that eats a little during the day and wolfs down half a village at night. 10 years ago I got away with that, these days not so much. meh, it could be worse. besides I'm pretty proud of my grocery basket, almost no packaged stuff, ever. our philosophy is if it comes from a box, it's properly not that good for ya.
thanks Karen, for yet again providing content I can use in my simple little happy life.
have a great week.
Karin