To understand the deep affinity I have for my black Christmas wrapping this year, I have to tell you about my history with the colour black. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to wear black. Not even into highschool was I allowed to wear black. Had I been a bit more ambitious with exploring employment opportunities at the age of 12 I could have made my own money to buy my own black clothing. But as it turns out, my ambitions for work pretty much started and stopped at running upstairs from the rumpus room to get my Uncle Leo a fresh beer for $1. And he only visited once or twice a year so …
I have no idea why my mother refused to let me wear black but I suspect it was the result of when she herself spent a lot of time in black in the nunnery her parents sent her to. Betty was what they called “high spirited” as a teenage girl. Her parents were what they called “trying to scare the shit out of her”.
Then one day, out of the blue, I was allowed to wear black. It was to a grade 10 dance. And it was remarkable. I had found my colour. It was tough and powerful and chic. It was the perfect colour. And I didn’t take it off for about 15 years. It felt like me. Black felt strong and decisive and oh yeah, every single thing I owned matched with every other single thing I owned. So black was also a huge time saver.
I can’t remember when it was I stopped wearing black all the time but it probably happened slowly over time. I’d add in some red here and some white there and before you knew it I was wearing pink and turquoise and coral. Not purple. Never purple. I’m not a complete asshole.
But whenever I put on all black now I get that exact same feeling of HEY. I’m cool! I saw the Ramones play live and I can crush a walnut in my fist and, and … I can excise an abscess on my cat’s neck if I have to! Your idea of cool might be different than mine.
So this year for some reason I’ve been feeling a little bolder. A little less light and ethereal. I’ve been feeling the best bits of black. And it’s a great feeling to have going into the new year.
I love this year’s black present wrapping. It’s cool. By pretty much anyone’s standards.
The paper is plain black wrapping paper and the ribbon is wide black velvet ribbon and wide black satin ribbon. The huge gold flowers are Christmas tree ornaments.
But my favourite part of these presents is the tags.
I bought small gold frames (the photos in them are 2″x2″) and printed vintage pictures of everyone to put on their gifts instead of writing their names.
Some of the people I give gifts to aren’t old enough to have vintage photos so I put all the photos through a bit of Photoshopping to give them all the same vintage colour and feel. A bit of blur, a bit of graininess, a loss of most of the colour.
Take that Snow White.
No more brown paper packages tied up with strings.
No more twigs or twine and cute rustic things.
It’s black and it’s bold and it’s gold all over.
Chokin’ on bling like a fat Range Rover.
It’s Christmas I say, and a New Year soon
You will be strong and tough and reach for the moon
The passion you had when you were still young,
It’s not gone, it’s still there, the song can be sung,
Don’t wither away and pull down the sash,
find your black,
find your inner badass.
**Congratulations to Thandi. You’re the winner of Friday’s Bread Lover’s Giveaway package. I’ll email you the details.”