Have a look here for my Christmas House Tour Inside.
Christmas is a time for giving. We all know that. It's also, of course, a time for receiving. I myself have already received 2 burns, multiple scratches and a paper cut that is completely unimpressive for the amount of pain it is giving me. At least with a real gash or compound fracture you have something to show off. HEY look at this. Look at the bone sticking through my skin. It really hurts! That's the kind of thing that gets you sympathy, or if you're really lucky gagging from whoever you're showing it off too.
At best a paper cut gets a sideways glance and maybe a nodding of the head in acknowledgement.
Here is a list of the injuries and/or indignities I endured while putting up my outdoor Christmas decorations this year.
1. Cut the tip of my finger in a cedar pruning miscalculation.
2. Smashed my knee on a cast iron planter jumping down from the table my pizza oven sits on. It was the kind of pain where you immediately throw up in your throat then run inside to roll around on the ground.
3. My tripod fell apart in my hands. My brand new $300 tripod. Yup. The leg fell right off of it.
4. Decided to change all my outdoor lights from multi coloured to white. Decided since all the lights worked that would be a waste of money and I'd wait until a year they started acting up. Hung all the outdoor lights. They all acted up. Spent gross amount of time hanging out of windows and standing on railings wiggling bulb after bulb.
5. Cursed out loud at the lights acting up while a small child walked past. Small child looked at me alarmed. Pretended it was my hydrangea bush that was swearing. Stupid bush. Hydrangeas are well known for their short tempers.
6. Jumped off of porch railing after fixing lights in super-cool style only to land partly on porch swing and half wiping out and half keep myself upright. Because I'm super-cool. As all the neighbours observed.
Like with the inside, I simplified the outside. Fewer lights, fewer accessories and more cedar.
Please enjoy the efforts of my embarrassment.
Yes. That is indeed me in the middle of a blinding snowstorm (a few flurries) taking pictures outside. That was another thing I endured. Frozen hands. Which are nearly as annoying as the song.
The best accessory for anyone around Christmastime is snow. And piles and piles of wood.
Having an enormous amount of wood I took a bunch of pieces and fitted them into my square planters. All I had to do was add a few boughs of cedar and the planters look holiday perfect. Once I set them on fire they'll be even more eye grabbing.
I tried to coax the chickens out for a shot but they refused. I'm being polite. They did more than refuse, they squatted down, did a big poo, and then laughed at my paper cut.
Have a great weekend.
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