You're a wrestler you say? A crossfitter? A yoga expert? Yeah, good for you. You must be so proud. Pftt. Amateur. I am none of those things, but I'm still more of an athlete than you.
I excel in the sport of Christmas decorating.
I train just as hard as you, carb load not only before the big game, but during and after it, *plus* win or lose I'm covered head to toe in gold sparkles for the entire month of December. I'm like a walking gold medal. If you propped me on a pole I'd look like Brandi the Christmas stripper, only I'd have cookie crumbs in my bra instead of money. I'm awesome.
Look, I know at this point you're feeling a bit intimidated by my obvious superior athletic abilities, but don't be. We all put on our team jerseys one arm at time. It's just that your jersey is some stupid, super-boring one that reduces you to a number while mine happens to be a pair of tree sap covered pajamas with 4.5 pounds of artificial garland and mystery dirt stuck to them. So again, awesome.
There are subtle differences between my sport and yours of course. Yours has you replenishing with Gatorade and eating power bars. Mine has me replenishing with rum and eggnog and tripping over power bars then giving them the finger, *just* before I fall into a Tupperware bin full of antique glass balls. I also give them the finger.
I started the race a little bit late this year because I had to finish putting in the built in bookcases in the dining room. So it turns out this Christmas post is also the reveal of all of the bookcases in my dining room. It isn't a representation of how the dining room will look all the time, just during stripper Christmas.
I also realized that this is the first time you'll see what's become of my foyer since removing all of the bookcases. This is a very exciting post indeed.
In fact, it's like Christmas.
A black Christmas.
This year it's out with all white and in with big hits of black.
It's also a bit of a turnaround for me in terms of shoving some of the simple, minimalistic, decorations to the side in favour of big, fat, cookie eating decorations. I have retired the anaemic garland I've loved so much over the past few years and I'm embracing my inner Dynasty.
Which is not to say that everything is over the top. Everything over the top is too much, just like eating an entire Costco sized chicken pot pie is too much. Sometimes. My coffee table decoration is just one of the cheese boards I made with a few candles on it.
All of the garland in the house though? Yeah, every bit of it is totally over the top with a capital Carrington.
Ready to see the new foyer?
There are so many things in this picture that I feel compelled to tell you about.
The tree. For the first time in my life I bought a surprise tree. One of those things wrapped in netting and twine, smashed up so tight you have no idea what's actually inside. It was like a tree wearing Spanx. I was excited and terrified to cut it loose for fear of what might come boinging out at me.
As luck would have it the surprise tree was perfect. Too perfect in fact. I had to take a pair of shears to screw it up a bit.
The tablecloths Those are not tablecloths over my foyer table. The bottom, natural coloured one is my linen duvet cover and the black one on top is my black linen pinafore. I'm very cold at night and very dirty while cooking, but my foyer looks good.
The Chandelier You might remember my $100 Kijiji chandelier. Once I got it together I discovered it's missing a lot of crystals and one of the arms causes the bulb (and my dimmer) to blow out. Sooooo watch for a DIY on how to do a little electrical repair on chandeliers the first week of January on the blog.
I still haven't figured out an option for window treatments but I won't be able to do the thing I most wanted which was interior wood shutters. There just isn't room for them to open on enough windows. So I've half decided to go with simple roman blinds, just like the ones in my kitchen.
You won't find any photos of my kitchen at Christmas in this post incidentally because it looks exactly like it did last year, so just take a look at my Christmas House Tour 2015 if you want to see what it looks like at this very moment.
I brought the black into this room with the black metal candelabra at the end of the buffet and 3 black reindeer. Black decorations were hard to find this year but I'm guessing by next year they'll be way easier to come by.
Simple, rustic and white have been in for so long that there's bound to be a backlash soon by way of people clamouring for the opposite of white and simple. Black and brash.
And Buddha.
Enter Dynasty era garland number 4. It's 3 or 4 garlands twisted together with pinecones, gold beads and black and white ornaments added to it. It. Is. Over. The. Top.
Are you ready for the dining room and the completed bookcase project that caused me to run naked and screaming through the streets? (that's rhetorical if you happen to be one of my neighbours)
I love it. It's like a hug. From hundreds of books.
Enter the black dining room accents. Black ornaments tucked in the garland which is sitting on a black burlap runner.
Margaret is the beautiful black backdrop to it all.
And then of course there are the black presents, inspired by basketball coach Amos.
I hope you enjoyed your Christmas tour through my house this year, I'm glad you could make it. I'm even more glad that you're only imaginary here because then I don't have to make small talk and you don't have to worry about breaking anything.
It's been an exciting post hasn't it? So exciting you might feel inclined to tip me. You don't need to. But if you insist, I shall keep my bra open and ready for you to stuff with cookies.
love Brandi, the Christmas stripper.
Looks nice. I look forward to the chandelier repair post.
But what is going on today with whoever is hosting your blog? The page keeps catapulting itself to the very top even though my fingers are not touching the keyboard at all (I am on a laptop and I know how sensitive the pad is, so I make sure my fingers are completely off the keyboard). This happened even as I stated to type my comment.
Also, my Firefox froze no less than 3 times while I have been here (with a note that a script running on this page could not be executed (don't remember the exact wording) and I had to end-task FF and start all over again. Very weird. Solar eruptions?
Hi Alena! Thanks for letting me know. You're the second person to tell me about this problem today. I have no idea what it is! I'll let my ad providers know because chances are that's what's doing it. But without knowing which exact ad is on the page when it happens there's not much we can do. If you can do a screen grab of the actual script it would be enormously helpful! ~ karen
Karen, WOW.
Your dining room.
Just...WOW!
FABulous job on the bookcases!
Sigh.
I hate you.
.
.
.
.
.
OK not really. I love you and how you always manage to blow my mind with your darn crafty Christmas craftiness. So chic! So cool! So gorgeous! And the black is DA BOMB. Well done! (and Merry Christmas, of course) :)
Awwww Kelli. I hate you too! ;) More darn Christmas craftiness in terms of present wrapping coming up next week. Get the big swear words out. :) ~ karen!
Love love love it all...especially the over the top garlands! I confess your new dining room is stunning. You deserve a long winters nap!
Very, very nice. I would like to see a photo of the dining room at night, with the little lights above the bookshelves on. Please.
You did great, your new shelves turned out wonderfully and the decoration is gorgeous as usual. I did not expect anything else. The only thing that disturbs me are
the curtains, sorry to say so ?.
Happy Christmas Karen, enjoy!
I LOVE the black and voluptuous garland - very classy yet bold.
What I'm most jealous of is the foyer. I've forever wished upon wishes that somehow my 1939 Cdn Cottage would morph overnight to include a foyer that I could put a small round table in. Just big enough that you have to walk around the table, but not so big that you'd be confused and want to sit and use one's laptop there. Well done, my fellow Canuck.
I do want to ask about what appear to be mini Christmas trees made out of fresh greens - they're on the floor in the picture just after the close-up of your coffee table decor.
OH - also - I love that the Buddha is basically wearing a Christmas Immunity necklace (from Survivor)
Yes, those small trees in the picture of the fireplace and settee do look interesting!
Oh my goodness. I love the strap of sleigh bells on the door!
I really like your black decor. I'm mesmerized by your dining room bookcases dimensions. Did you have a reason to make them less wide? I think the narrow bookcases add a lot of architectural interest to the room. Did you write a blog discussing your bookcase dimension choices?
Thanks for your humor, your photos and your great can-do attitude.
beautiful bookcases Karen! and your Christmas decor is sublime. Margaret has never looked lovlier.
I usually plan on a theme, but it always ends up being the multi-coloured Chrismas decor we always have ... any changes from the usual and the complaints come fast and furious from the cheap seats!
This looks very chic and cozy at the same time. Nice work.
How do you get electricity to your lamps near the back of your sofa? Magic and wizardry are not valid answers!
No magic Trackeyb. ;) Just an extension cord from a plug behind the couch. ~ karen!
Beautiful! Almost makes me wish I celebrated Christmas. It's Chanuka around here and only so much you can do with menorahs & draidels. And very few people will give a house tour featuring Chanuka. Enjoy the season.
Funny story Shoshana. I went on a "Christmas House Tour" several years ago and the best most beautiful house on the tour belonged to two Jewish sisters. There was no decorating at all, lol. It was just a beautifully decorated house. Happy Chanuka/Hanukkah~ k!
And Merry Christmas to you
What is black and white and festive all over? Brandi's house! Great job.
I'm inspired to beef up the decorating I've done so far. We are n the middle of a
total bathroom reno. I have a new toilet and vanity and other bit an bobs in the living room right now. I may go all out and put a bright red poinsettia in the toilet. Milk and cookies in the new sink for Santa. Garland wrapped around the new shower head.
LOVE - Sung operatically of course!!!
Hope you're right about black being "in" soon. I'm getting ready to paint my tall vaulted living room ceiling black. Fingers crossed
PS: loved your expression: "like getting a hug from hundreds of books"!
Wow! I don't know where to start ... it is all so lovely. I love the still-natural linked with the glam of the black, I love the "restrained" hand you've used in decorating, Karen. You always seem to nail it just right! The garlands are stunning; again "natural" with "glam"! I thought there was something wrong with me as I have always disliked tree toppers - they always are too gaudy or way oversized and cheap looking. The centerpiece of the cheeseboard, candles and oranges is just begging for an artist to paint a still-life. Thank you for the inspiring tour!
Absolutely lovely! The bookshelves are stunning!You may not be aware of this, but the poinsettia's in your floor are poisonous to cats...
Hi Lainey! Thanks, I actually meant to make a comment about that. Pointsettias actually aren't toxic to cats! I mean if they ate an entire pointsetta they'd probably get a sore stomach but their toxicity is something that's been hyped up and blown out of proportion over the years for some reason. Lilies are way more of a danger to cats. ~ karen!
Is that a birch tree in the corner of the living room? If yes, where does one acquire a birch tree trunk?
Love the library dining that you have created! I have to say that there is a picture near your fireplace with an elegant woman siting at the doctors office waiting for a breast exam. Looks like Mastitis to me. LOL But my favorite part? the Santa using the urinal. What a hoot! Yes Virginia, he does exist.