I want to stress that I do not celebrate Christmas just so I can decorate my entire house with swaths of garland so fresh the whole first floor smells like a forest and squirrel poop. No, I also celebrate Christmas for more altruistic reasons; the presents.
I like to give ’em, I like to get ’em, but most of all I like to wrap them.
I would like for you to gasp so hard when you see my wrapping that people try to perform the Heimlich maneuver on you, fearing there’s a drumstick wedged in your esophagus. That is my goal.
Anything less than that and I’m disappointed in myself.
Yes, I go overboard. What of it? Need I remind you that you're here too, so chances are you're a bit of an overboarder yourself.
WE are the overboarders. The collection of makers not satisfied with mediocre. We change things, fix them, glitter them and hole punch them. We have at least 3 different types of scissors and entire drawers dedicated to our favourite glues.
That is why you and I are here. And the next time someone says to us "Gee, I wish I had that kind of spare time." we will say to them, "I wish you did too, BECAUSE JUST REMOVING THE PRICE TAG FROM A GIFT DOESN'T CONSTITUTE WRAPPING."
GIFT WRAPPING TIPS
- Invest in one of these WEIGHTED tape dispensers. This one is beautiful and heavy.
- If you don't have a weighted dispenser, pull off enough small pieces of clear tape for the entire present and just stick them to the edge of whatever surface you're working on. That way they're right there to grab.
- To make packages look more finished, always fold under any raw edges.
- If you're planet conscious, choose wrapping paper that doesn't have glitter, foil or cellophane on it. Plain papers, even coloured, can be recycled in most cases. (with bows and tape removed)
- Tape not holding your ribbon? Use a stapler.
- Save the boxes your online items are shipped in. They're perfect (obviously) for wrapping.
- If you don't have online shopping boxes and you need a box check your cupboards for cracker or cereal boxes. They make great wrapping boxes.
- If the gift is looking bland, go outside and start trimming. Tuck a sprig of cedar, pine, or spruce into your bow or tie it on the gift alone with ribbon or string.
FYI I still don't know how I'm wrapping my gifts this year so hold me in your thoughts and kneel at the altar of Martha Stewart for me.
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