I’d love to tell you but I’m a mute.

I have this flower in my garden.

I grew it from seed.

 

Cockscomb

 

For alllllll to see.

So anyone passing by can admire it.

And stare at it.

And be confused by it.

At which point they inevitably ask me …

What is the name of that flower?“.

 

At which point I feign deafness. Or stupidity.  At the very least I pretend I only speak a very obscure version of Gnome.

I can’t tell them the name of this flower.

I know what it is.  I just can’t bring myself to tell them.

But I’ll tell you.

Title

Try saying that to a curious 16 year old boy.

It’s actually called Celosia Cristata, but its common name is Cockscomb.  Wonder why?  This picture should shed some light on the situation.

 

Cockscomb On Chicken

 

Cockscomb.  Ick.  But I guess it’s better than Peniscomb.  Or Johnsoncomb.  Or Thatolepurplethingcomb.

It’s funny what will embarrass me (cockscomb) and what won’t (entire video of me testing a frozen yogourt tampon).  Don’t even get me started on tripping in public or going through the cash of a teenage boy with tampons in my grocery cart.

So what about you?   I’m sure there’s SOMETHING that embarrasses you.

For instance in the case of my mother, what embarrasses her …  is probably me.

 

78 Comments

  1. Kat - the other 1 says:

    If I’m embarrassed I never let on.
    I had a LOT of practice.

    My youngest sister was a horror. She lived to make my life hell.
    I learned from a very young age to never let it show, cause that just made it worse.
    The whole “ignore them & they’ll stop,” is complete hooey. But, don’t react & at least it doesn’t get worse.

    So I can put my tampons, pads, bladder leak liners, etc in the cart and look you in the eye & fart. Wait, no, & look you in the eye if I must and appear calm & normal, even if I’m feeling like a completely raving lunatic in near full on panic attack mode inside.

    However, this has taken much practice.
    When I was 19 my best friend was a guy (who had lots of sisters). We had stopped at the store to grab some things before he dropped me at home, I didn’t have a car yet, and I needed tampons. I had only been using tampons for a year and wasn’t sure what I needed. (Took 8 years of practice before I could wear them, ugh.) I needed to look at / read all the boxes and he was totally comfortable just standing there Staring AT ME! I was mortified. I mumbled some excuse about them not having the right ones and nearly ran out of that section. LoL!
    I had to ask dad to drive me back to the store when I got home lol. At least he will wait elsewhere like he should! Lol.

    Although now you mention it, when I was 14 or so and mom was at her mom’s or somewhere, dad took us kids to the store. He refused to allow me to get a cart, & forced me to march around the store carrying massive amounts of feminine products. I could have died on the spot. Right there. Oy!

    • Karen says:

      In honour of your bravery – COCK. ~ karen!

      • Kat - the other 1 says:

        Lol!
        Is that our new salute? ;D

        Bty, I planted celosia – cockscomb this year. For the first time. Then I thought it looked familiar and pulled it up on your site. Yep! Same thing! Lol, I got it!

      • Kat - the other 1 says:

        I just stumbled on an article about the, wait for it…

        Giant Penis Pepper.

        EW.

        I’d rather say cockscomb.
        o.O

        Lol

  2. Mindy says:

    I had to click over from your garden post to see why you wouldn’t say celosia. I was trying to figure out a naughty world that rhymed or sounded like it. Like the Vulva Seinfeld episode. I understand now. Never heard it called cockscomb before. I’ll stick with celosia.

  3. Bols says:

    I learned recently it’s name is Celosia, never knew about the Cockscomb. Hahaha, live and learn!
    It’s my favourite flower in the fall. Especially the dark purple colour around Halloween time.

    Karen, I never knew you were the voice on MHYM! And I kept wondering why the voice sounds so familiar but I could not place it (I never read the credits). Awesome; I’ll think about when I am watching it the next time (I am sure there will be one or two reruns tonight).

    • Karen says:

      Yep … that’s my show. :) I write some of the script as well. I’ll see if I can’t work Cockscomb into one of the episodes. ~ karen!

  4. Emma says:

    Was doing a home improvement project and needed to run to Home Depot. Since I had little time to finish said project, I ran into the store, saw two male employees in asked frantically and out of breath, “Where’s your caulk?”
    They politely pointed me to the correct aisle and as I ran off, I heard them giggle.

  5. Janet says:

    Laughing so hard I’m crying….pass the tissue! Thanks so much Karen and every one commenting…..You are ALL a HOOT!

  6. Diana says:

    When I worked for “The State” I received a document from a woman trying to get child support from her no-good ex. She had filled out his name, Richard Smith, and his nickname, “Big Dick” In parentheses she wrote “(not really)”

  7. Janelle says:

    Once I was at the paint counter in home depot and a young guy came up and asked where the “caulk remover” was. I instantly burst into uproarious laughter, then realized I was the only one in line who was just that immature. Everyone else was silent. Embarrassing.

  8. Debbie B says:

    Oh hell yeah, I’m getting some next year so I can say it cocks comb, I love talking about my ball cock (toilet part) and horse cock (metal jerry can spout) too

  9. leesa says:

    hi karen! this question may have been asked but i didn’t read ALL the comments… i also have this growing from seed in my garden and i was wondering can you dry this? if so, how? and also, i’ve always wondered how to dry hydrangea. i’ve tried many times unsuccessfully and i know there’s a trick to it but haven’t figured it out. any advice would be greatly appreciated! thanks!

  10. Carol says:

    I do love the look of this plant and don’t think I’ve ever seen one before. You said you planted it from seed? I’ll have to look and see if I can find some for next year. I too, would not be able to utter the name of this plant to anyone who asks, but then again, I can’t remember the names of most of the flowers in my garden and just refer to them by color. As a fairly new reader to your blog, thanks for including your very hysterical link to the yogurt debacle!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

The Art of Doing Stuff