You're out to dinner, you've finished your meal, now what? According to etiquette, where do you put your cutlery when you're done eating? You have two proper options and here they are.
Picture it. You're out for dinner and you've finished with your meal. You're done. At home, you'd simply stand up and wander away from the table knowing full well the dish would disappear, get clean and be returned to the cupboard at some point in the evening.
That's how it worked for my father anyway.
But in restaurants they like non-verbal clues. Indications that they can take your dirty plate away. A sign language of sorts. The waiter or waitress reads the secret code spelled out through your dirty utensils and napkin.
If the waiter doesn't happen to see you licking your plate (which is the International sign of "Yup ... thems was good eatin'. I'm done!") how are they supposed to know if you're finished eating?
They know by where you've placed your cutlery. Honestly, they do.
Where do you put your cutlery when you've finished eating?
The knife and fork go either straight up and down in the centre of the plate with the handles resting on the rim, or pointing between 10 and 4 o'clock. In each case the tines of the fork should be facing up, and the knife edge pointing in.
Your napkin should be half heartedly folded to the left of your plate.
Do NOT rest the cutlery on the table.
Do NOT cross the cutlery over each other in an X.
Do NOT put your napkin on your plate.
Do NOT perfectly refold your napkin.
Do NOT put your napkin on your chair.
Do NOT fold your napkin into the shape of a swan or a dead chicken and then leave the restaurant wearing it as a hat.
You are now fully prepared to attend the Royal Wedding. Have fun.
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Wanda
Maybe you left out this one, try as much to use a different hand to hold a glass from that you are using for food, especially if you are not using a Falk so that someone clearing has not difficulty in holding the glass.
mary
".....when you are DONE eating it"?????????? Meat is "done". You are FINISHED eating.
Karen
I feel like this is a super helpful time to point out that using more than 7 question marks is poor etiquette. ~ karen!
rihanna
Wow im surprised cause i use to cross my cutlery in an X but now i know and im also embarrassed but thz :0 :)
Gboyega Ogunbanwo
I have being doing it wrongly until I read it from your explanation. I tell a lot of people are ignorant of this they close up anyhow. Thanks for the information.
Ann
I am an American, but I was raised to eat in the Continental style. No juggling cutlery, and I place my fork tines down, knife in when done. I don't even get why American's do juggle cutlery, seems silly.
Phil
I went to a restaurant in Palo Alto they clear my wife area but never cleared my eating area My fork and knife was not set in the center of the plate correctly they should have cleared it that's Unprofessional
Kathryn
You all have to realize that the majority of the population does not know this. From the minute you set down, a well trained server is evaluating you. If you, or your guests, make a mistake (such as using the wrong fork or allowing the knife to hang off the plate like an oar) then the waitstaff is going to automatically assume that you aren't accustom to silent table service and you will get asked. Its not always that the wait staff doesn't know the etiquette but often that they assume the diners don't. In my years of service I had not removed someones plate hundreds of times (until asked or they made it obvious) because they had their silverware like this /\ and I had evaluated that they knew silent service etiquette. In all my years I only offered to remove someone's plate who wasn't done (with the /\ configuration) only once and that was because the gentleman was with such unruly youth that I had mis evaluated him.
Swimming at Sea
Yay Thank you! I learned this from etiquette training as a young girl, but when dining no one believes me that this is the proper way to indicate that you are done.
James
Sounds like a good idea. Not much for the customer etiquette never mind the waiting staff
James
Do you know anything of if the cutlery is placed 3-9 it means excellent. Different for different positions?
Karen
I don't know the exact positions, but I did know that they exist. I usually just smash my plate on the ground, scream Opa! and walk away. ~ karen!
Allison
Good to know, even though I realized I've been doing it wrong for years! Somehow I was taught that you cross your fork over your knife, tines down. Didn't realize I've been sending mixed signals all these years. Oh, the horror! Thanks for sharing.
Karen
Well it's amazing anyone, ever, took your plate away, LOL. ~ karen!
Peter Fellows
Crystal clarity and razor sharp wit. Informative and entertaining. Well done!
Karen
Thank you Peter. ~ karen!
Whitney Royal
Check out the proper way of placing your cutlery when done eating from a restuarant...use it for now on!!!
Jerrica
I took a chance on the woot deal afterall, with not a minute to spare! I kept reading and reading on stainless steel and I just couldn't pass it up (a $65 77-Piece) for such a little thing. But THANK YOU for the link to your set. That was mighty kind of ya. I'm glad to hear your set is 18/0 set too, they look great!
Just in case anyone cares: "18/0 means that there is 18% chromium but zero nickel. When there is no nickel the stainless grade family is the "400 series". 400 series are not as corrosion resistant as the 300 series and are magnetic, where the 300 series are non-magnetic."
timmie
that is just dumb how can you be following things so crazily stupet jst jokin you are one of the most 4rk and knife professional knowers ive ever met
Jerrica
Hello again! I still have your flatware on the brain, and sellout woot has a very similar flatware set today and I want to buy it but everyone says 18/0 stainless steel is no good. Bummer.
Karen
Who's everyone? What the hell do they know? The good news is my flatware is 18/0 and I've had it for 12 years. It looks as good as the day I bought it. (O.K. a couple of the knives have a few small spots, but that's it.) The better news is I felt bad for you so I just spent the past 15 minutes searching the Internet for you. Here is my exact set. The name, the maker and everything. http://www.oneida.com/american-harmony.html ~ karen
Karen
Oh! And even better news. It's *cheap*. Like, $100 for a 65 piece service for 12 cheap! ~ karen
Catherine
OMG! I just saw the silverware everyone is talking about and it’s the same stuff I got for my trousseau 17 years ago. It’s such a nice pattern and the pieces have great “heft” and really nice balance. Plus, as a classic, Oneida has committed to keeping it around indefinitely. I have to keep buying tea spoons since they mysteriously disappear.
I know the dish didn’t run away with the spoon but, I am pretty sure the sock did.
Sara
Awww...I grew up in Alabama where people still take etiquette classes. The bottom pic is the preferred method there. :) Can you also do a post on the proper way to set a place setting (if you haven't already)? It's a lost art!
Colleen
I would love a post on setting a place setting!
Heather
I read Miss Manner's when I was 12, and she said napkin on your chair if you're returning, napkin on your plate if you're done.
Karen
Heather - Well, Miss Manners was half right! Napkin on your chair if you're returning, napkin to the side of plate when done. Putting your nice napkin on a dirty dinner plate is a no no at all times. ~ Miss. Karen
tyler
I'm assuming all of this etiquette stuff is only for when the napkin is not paper, because every waiting job I have had, even with cloth napkins, the customer indicates they are done by putting their napkin on the plate. I have never ever seen anyone placing their silverware in 45 degree angles to take one sip either. This seems kind of awkward and strenuous. Eating out is supposed to be an enjoyable time, not one where you are worrying about whether you are eating right or not.
Mary-Anne
Depend on the circle you are "in":) Most of the sophisticated and exposed people do know the Etiquette rules:) And it is actually awkward for them when they realize that you don't know the rules:)
qazwiz
manners should be ingrained by time you are an adult, thus you wouldn't need to worry about what to do. just like breathing while dining, what you do with the utensils should be automatic
Denise
Your flatware is 10 years old? How do you keep it spotless? Do you hand dry each piece?
Karen
Denise - Um. No. I stick it in the dishwasher every night. However, one knife handle has come loose from the blade. That's *always* the knife I end up getting at dinner. Using it is like trying to cut your steak with a rubber chicken. ~ karen
Denise
I get water spots...ug. I buy new every couple years with the intent to always hand dry when emptying dishwasher, but of course that doesn't last very long..maybe I'll try a hotter dry cycle. Uh yea, just thought of that. : /
Pam'a
Etiquette is nearly dead. We won't need it very much longer, though, because everyone will just sit in their houses with TV Dinners and text each other in lieu of going to restaurants.
This is a real sore spot of mine, having been in the industry for a number of years. For the most part, diners no longer know how to dine, and waiters no longer know how to wait. My particular pet peeve is when the server asks "What can I get you guys?" Expecting that they'll grasp the finer points of silverware etiquette seems a bit of a leap. ~sigh~ I'm pleased that you shared this.
Tiffany
Hey Karen!
Just wanted to let you know that a picture of your bookshelf was tagged as inspiration on the fashion blog The Glamourai!! I saw it and got so excited for you! If you haven't heard of it before, it is a really popular fashion blog with thousands of hits a day. Maybe i'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I just thought it was so cool! If you want to see the post, its from April 1st.
Congrats!!
p.s. I think she might have credited DesignSponge for the picture? Its hard to tell.
Karen
Tiffany - Thanks for letting me know! It would be exciting if they actually credited my blog/me but they didn't. :( ~ karen