Do You Make a New Years Resolution?

I did not. Make a New Year Resolution that is.

Although I did sort of think about it. Let a few things roll around in my head.

I’ve half resolved to do one thing but it’s pretty ridiculous. It’s the kind of thing that if I was sitting on the couch of a late night talk show and they asked me what my New Year’s Resolution was I couldn’t use my real resolution. I’d have to make one up. Like, I resolve to exercise more. Or I resolve to make my bed every morning. Why make something up, you ask?

Because I’d feel like a knob saying “Well Dave, I’ve resolved to eat less cured meats this year”.

But that’s really the one thing that keeps popping into my head. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, That Karen is an extraordinary human being if the only thing she needs to do to improve her life is to eat less cured meats.  

And you’re right.  I, Karen, am extraordinary.  I am an extraordinary specimen of a woman with extraordinarily good eating habits, extraordinarily poor nail maintenance and extraordinarily wide feet that require I wear socks at all time so as not to frighten small children.   If you were a troll, and you were going to give birth while standing, you would want my feet.   Wide, solid, and with enough hair on the goink to get me through winter.

Yes, I Karen, the extraordinary, have troll birthing feet.

And I’m fine with that.  I’m fine with most things in my life which is why I’m having resolution troubles this year.  That and the fact that they’re really hard to keep.

I mean, really hard.  Have you ever tried to do anything you didn’t want to do for more than 5 minutes?  It’s stupid hard.  (work doesn’t count, because at least someone is paying you to do something you hate, and it gives you a reason to buy new clothes)

Oh my GOD!  I just came up with my resolution.  To dress better.  There.  I’m done.  I’ve resolved.

You see, I love clothing.  I love Vogue, and W Magazine and the style of the late Carolyn Bessett-Kennedy.   But in the past few years, since I’ve been working from home I’ve started to dress like a farmer.  Mainly because I have a mini-farm.

I realize this side of me might come as a shock to you but … I own Prada.  Clothing.  Purse.  The works.  It’s a beautiful brand and they make beautiful things that in turn  make me feel beautiful.  You know the homesteader, DIYer side of me, but there’s a whole other side you fine folks have no idea about.

I Karen, chicken farmer, garden grower, have Chanel makeup and Christian Dior shoes. And I like em. But now that I’ve moved from my first career (television host) to my second career (blogger) I don’t wear either very much.

My friend Renee was over the other day actually and she mentioned something about me talking about clothing on this site, and I said … Well, my readers don’t really know I love clothing.  They just think of me as the chicken lady.  

So I’m here to tell you, to shout it … I, Karen the extraordinary, love clothing. And I resolve to dress better. To look better. To buy at least some of my clothes in a place that doesn’t have a dairy aisle.   I’ll really, really, really try to do my nails and wear real clothes.

I may even shave the hair on my goink*.

So now I ask you, did you make one? And if so, did you already break it?

* goink (def): the space between the first and second knuckle on your toe; word an definition invented by karen, c. 1982
 

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103 Comments

  1. Eliza says:

    I pluck the hairs off my goink in summer.

    (never thought I’d put THAT online!)

  2. debbie bashford says:

    I am a huge tom boy, was in the military for 25 years, never into clothes or shoes, but I am a rabid purse hound and will trample you to get that last designer bag if it’s the one I want.

  3. Shauna says:

    I don’t make resolutions. They’re dumb because like you said, who resolves to do something they hate or stop doing something they love?

    I am, however, also a chicken farmer/gardener and love fashion. I even went to design school. And, one of the funniest days was when I came home from work in full dress and high heels and realized the chickens needed my attention and there I was in the coop, doing a bit of cleaning or something in full fashion gear. I had to keep bending down and tucking my dress up under my legs so it didn’t get coop gunk all over it.

    Another similar situation happened when I came home from work after the time changed and a baby possum had discovered how very warm it is inside the hen house. One hen was sitting outside roosting on a chair so I knew something bad was inside. I shined a flashlight inside (wearing work clothes again) to see the baby possum. Unfortunately, it was at that moment that the remaining chickens (who are basically blind in the dark) saw the possum for the first time and freaked the fuck out and came flying straight at me.

    Sooo, you’ll totally rock the high fashion while gardening, chickening, and DIY’ing. I’m sure of it.

  4. Jasmine says:

    How in hell do you fit troll birthing feet into Christian Dior shoes?? (goink notwithstanding)

  5. Izzy says:

    My New Year’s Resolution for 2014 is to not make any resolutions. Especially for my (like your) Fred Flintstone Feet. Except maybe to find a store (preferably online because I do almost ALL my shopping from my dining room table now) that caters to people with feet like ours….

  6. Debbie says:

    Happy New Year Karen! Glad you are back. Adding a clothing post now and then would be delightful. Not that you have said you were going to do that. Just a suggestion. 🙂

  7. Merrilee says:

    I always assumed people loved making resolutions, but from the comments I see I am the rare bird that does! I actually love the idea of starting fresh, new possibilities, new goals. On my list (yup, every year there’s a list, actually typed up, ok, maybe even an excel matrix) reading more books is a perennial favorite…and I just finished “and the mountains echoed” which was amazing! Another one for this year is running– goal of 700 miles for the year. Hit 685 in 2013 (the first year I’ve actually kept a tally) so I think 700 is very doable. Love the Strava app for this- records and upload right from the iPhone. (maybe they can be your next ad!) Happy New Year everyone!

    • Karen says:

      Oooo! I like the idea of a running goal. Of course mine would be km, not miles but I’m pretty sure it’ll still work. 😉 ~ karen!

  8. Isabel says:

    well, at least the hair on your goink is blond. Mine is BLACK. yuk.

  9. I’ve fully committed to working harder(and smarter) on my blog. I haven’t broken my resolution yet, but give me a few weeks. also, better hair care…always, better hair care (gotta keep my ‘fro tight). hahahaha!

  10. cred says:

    Karen, I read AoDS on a mac- nothing on the left hand side for me.

    I didn’t- never do. Loads of things to improve but new years resolutions set me up to fail. I just need to jump when I need to focus on making an improvement and hope for the willpower required to make it happen.
    Happy New Year!

  11. Andrea Meyers says:

    Well, typical resolution. To lose weight. blah blah blah. But this year, I joined Food Addicts, so that is already helping. I refuse to call this my resolution this year though, it’s just gonna happen. period.
    My real resolution, stop walking around naked too much in front of my little girls, so I don’t scar them for life. LOL

  12. Gail says:

    Sarah, I totally agree- I actually sent real Christmas Cards with a sticky stamp and all! I bet I wowed the relatives!! And birthday cards- in the mail. Afterall, the USPS will collapse without us!! Karen, make one resolution- to have even more FUN!!! That’s what life is all about-!

    • Karen says:

      Oh I don’t need to make that resolution. I have more fun and enjoy what I do more than anyone I know! I’ve got fun covered. 🙂 ~ karen!

  13. Sarah In Illinois says:

    My resolution is to send more letters/cards in the mail. The actual mail. That comes in the mailbox at the end of my driveway. Because I love to receive mail that is not bills and so it only makes sense that I should send more myself if I want to receive some!

  14. Laura Bee says:

    No resolutions, but since 1996 I have quit drinking, quit smoking, lost weight, gained weight, lost it again, got healthy, got hurt, got healthy again and one year I only ate about 2 pounds of bacon. (So glad hubby is not a vegetarian anymore.) This year I think I ate a pound of bacon over the holidays . . .
    One of the best things I did was stay single for almost 4 years after my bf screwed around and got his ex pregnant – this was the second time it happened. (different asshole) Maybe it was me!?
    I guess I make decisions to be better, do better as needed.
    Happy New Year Karen, I can’t wait to see what you accomplish this year.

  15. mia pratt says:

    I resolve and COMMIT to quit making stupid commitments to myself that I know I won’t keep. Ever. Like never eating sugar again…cutting down on chocolate…quitting coffee…getting up at 6 every day…going to bed by 10 every night…giving up my vibrator (for my neck, sheesh! Yeah, for my neck!)…getting a mani-pedi once a week….getting a mani-pedi once a month…no more dairy…200 sit-ups a day…no alcohol…no reality tv…no swearing. Need I go on? None of that is going to happen in 2014. What WILL happen in 2014 is I will pay attention to what feels good in my heart and do more of that, and what feels icky for my body and do less of that. So that’s the more good less icky resolution. That I can live with!

  16. Rhonda SmartyPants says:

    Goink – love it when you make up words. Love it when anyone makes up new words – my 6-years old grandson told us he was ‘nervacited’ after attending his first day of school in September. Prejudiced as I am, I love the word ‘nervacited’ and everyone else seems to think it is a word that totally sums up being nervous and excited at the same time and many of us know exactly what that feels like. So, goink works for me. I woulda/coulda commented last night when I received this post, but after reading it and reading some of the earlier comments, I thought I needed to let it rest a bit because I kept reading people’s comments asking what ‘goink’ meant and I was so puzzled because I clearly remembered you not only defining it, but telling us you made it up (even gave us the circa of its concoction).

    I’ve always loved watching you dig with shovels in your garden while wearing your stylish flats or flip flops…digging with your bare hands in the dirt with polished nails…doing the chores and tasks you do around your abode with abandon and whilst wearing a stylish top.

    I’ve also enjoyed watching some of your transformations as you evolved from a reader of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s farm girl-turned-writer and became a blogger of your present-day version of your similar lifestyle done in the city, so to speak. Bog Boots footwear, Rough Linen linens and still able to put panache into a Dollarama post. Prada your way forth, Miss Karen, with your goink tendrils bouncing lazily. I, too, have been blessed with wide feet (D width or more) and love the places hair finds its way to grow as one ages…considering I’ve had goink since my teens, I am in awe wondering where it will sprout next and when. Besides, Grimms’ tales of the goats and trolls hiding under bridges were favorites during my childhood.

    Resolutions for 2014? Nah, I’m more into making decisions, when necessary. I’ll let you know how that goes, when necessary. Until then, enjoy the weather — indoors. Brrrrrrrrrrrr, indeed.

  17. nancy says:

    I use ad blockers and I see stuff for sale such as Cubits, Printable Art (some of this I bought) and Rough Linen (most of which I would like to buy) etc. Does that work for making money?

    I wear scrubs to work and what my husband calls cozies around the house , the bar is so low, it’s very easy to get spiffed up.

    I have real troll feet sans hair. They are flat, wide, like 4E wide, narrow heel, high arch. Zappos is my BFF.

  18. Bonnie says:

    Don’t do your nails. I have horrible nails, and I will not ever be a nail polish wearer–it bugs me when it starts peeling. And, having nails bothers me because they get in the way and harbor dirt. I have been thinking about making a resolution to not say anything bad about anybody. I am pretty good about not gossiping, but every now and then, somebody irks me and I do say bad things. Hmmm… I don’t know if I can give that up. I am trying to be more Dali Lama-like, but it is hard. I guess I’ll just keep trying. He doesn’t have long nails, does he?

  19. Mike says:

    My resolution is to get some Radio Raheem love/hate rings.

    http://bluebattinghelmet.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/radio-raheem-love-hate.jpg

    Pretty sure with those, everything else would take care of itself.

  20. Kristin says:

    I had a boyfriend once who came to the realization that New Years resolutions should be things you WANT to do, rather than things you SHOULD do. So he resolved to go on a vacation to Spain and Morocco–and took me with him 😉

  21. Susan U says:

    I resolved to take a shower and clean the chicken coop. And I am proud to announce that I accomplished both. Yea me!

  22. Irene says:

    Ah. For the people complaining about adverts, two words; Addblock Plus. 🙂
    Seriously, download it; I haven’t seen an ad anywhere online for YEARS!
    I got a horrible shock one day when I logged into my Facebook profile on another computer; all those yucky ads! No thanks. 😀
    Karen, soooo glad you’re back! I hope your little holiday was super good. 🙂

    • Karen says:

      Um … Irene … lol. Well, you see if everyone puts up adblock then I don’t make any money. And if I don’t make any money I shut the blog down. So, as much as you may find the ads to be invading you visual space, without them I don’t have a job and you have nothing to read or learn from. It’s running ads on my site, or charging a subscription fee. ~ karen

      • Irene says:

        Oh. Crap. Sorry. I’m so used to not seeing ads that it didn’t even occur to me that you were running them. 🙁
        I also really just assumed that people were talking about random unwanted ads from other sources.
        My bad.
        PEOPLE! Do NOT use Adblock Plus!
        🙂

        • Karen says:

          LOL. Yup. I run ads. I have to. That really is the only way I make money! But I realize a lot of times people just don’t think of that. ~ karen!

  23. Debbie says:

    Resolution? What’s a resolution? 🙂

  24. Barbara says:

    I have resolved to buy “good” shoes (probably the ugly kind, not the Prada!) Had a recent bad experience with bargain shoes that made me feel like I had a heel spur. And I bought them in two colors because I liked them so much and they were inexpensive! So it’s good shoes for me this year. I’ve already been shopping on line!

  25. kate-v says:

    hey – i already work on the Christmas resolutions and that is enough for any year – I like the Christmas resolutions because you make ’em easy – all printed up and a snazzy calendar to go with — that is good enough for me – besides I have to work on my knit and crocheted Christmas presents all year and don’t have time for other resolutions…
    Happy New Year everyone – hope 2014 is the best yet.

  26. Karen P says:

    I didn’t “resolve” to do it, but I’m on an organizational kick since Christmas. Started when I needed to find a place for all the goodies Santa brought me… 1 closet and the laundry room got reorganized and decrapified. Then continued when I packed up the Christmas decorations and felt the need to reorganize the attic. My son’s room has 2 attic spaces/closets that I went through to make room for more stuff he’s too old for but that I want to save for potential grandchildren (is that weird… please tell me no!). Anyway, I have a vehicle load of stuff to take to Goodwill and feel 10lbs lighter (though chocolate has helped fuel my energy level so I’m probably 10lbs heavier). I realize that all the work I’ve done has been on areas of the house that no one sees but me and occasionally my hubby. So, I’m hoping the energy (and chocolate) lasts long enough to get me through the whole house and basement. If I had to pick a word of the year it would be DECRAPIFY 😉 And if I was forced to pick a resolution when questioned by Dave Letterman, I’d say “Get crafty more often, and blog more frequently”… but those have been daily goals for quite awhile now. And I too, shave my goink.

  27. Thera says:

    As an artist, stay at home mom and housewife, I understand the clothes thing completely.
    I too tend to wear the same track pants/t shirt/sweater because “who cares” and then I die of embarrassment when someone unexpectedly comes to the door, I even have a pretty apron at the ready, but never use it.

    As for resolutions/goals or whatever you want to call them, I have a few for 2014.
    Quit smoking, this will be a dozy.
    Start doing the things I should again (morning pages, meditating, walking, yoga drawing or painting everyday).

  28. Bols says:

    Thanks for the laugh, Karen of wide feet (I have wide feet, too!)

    I never make New Year’s resolutions – they would not last more than 2 weeks (if the stars were aligned just so) – so why bother?

  29. Lisa Kuhl-Thomas says:

    I no longer make resolutions. I couldn’t handle the disappointment. I just make small changes throughout the year when I feel a change needs to be made. And I have hair on my toes too. My husband makes fun of it all the time. I refuse to shave them, I have enough to shave as it is. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂

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