Do You Make a New Years Resolution?

I do not make New Years resolutions. I am opposed to them for a variety of reasons. Although I do sort of let a few things roll around in my head.

Making dinner for myself, at home, like always.  Ground beef. Not a cured meat.

Last year my big resolution “thought” was to book myself a restaurant reservation for one night every month of the year at 12 different really good restaurants. I was going to be a woman about town, with a year’s worth of dinner dates all booked up and could say things like “I’ve been there, they have a lovely foie gras.” or “I’m sorry I can’t go to the opening of the new Shoe Barn with you, I have a prior engagement.”

I envisioned the new me, my heels sinking into the sumptuous carpets of establishments that didn’t have ketchup bottles on the tables.  I might even have to start to say “How do you do?” when I met people, instead of  “How’s it goin’?” in keeping with my more sophisticated image. 

I didn’t go through with the restaurant resolution because my level of enthusiasm waned once I realized I’d have to actually do it.  

I’ve half resolved to do one thing this year but it’s pretty ridiculous. It’s the kind of thing that if I was sitting on the couch of a late night talk show and they asked me what my New Year’s Resolution was I couldn’t use my real resolution. I’d have to make one up. Like, I resolve to exercise more. Or I resolve to not think of stabbing people who walk too slowly in front of me.

Why would I have to make something up, you ask?

Because I’d feel like a knob saying “Well Jimmy, I’ve resolved to eat less cured meats this year“.

But that’s really the one thing that keeps popping into my head. It’s probably due to the fact that I currently feel like I have cured meat poisoning from all holiday charcuterie boards.  I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Karen is an extraordinary human being if the only thing she needs to do to improve her life is to eat less cured meats.”

And you’re right.  I, Karen, am extraordinary.  I am an extraordinary specimen of a woman with extraordinarily good eating habits, extraordinarily poor nail maintenance and extraordinarily wide feet that require I wear socks at all times so as not to alarm people.  

If you were a troll, and you were going to give birth while standing, you would want my feet.   Wide, solid, and with enough hair on the goink to get me through winter.

These shoes weren’t super wide to begin with but they were after I wore them for a few days.  My feet are pushy that way.

Yes, I, Karen the extraordinary, have troll birthing feet.

And I’m fine with that.  I’m fine with most things in my life which is why I have resolution troubles.  That and the fact that they’re really hard to keep.

I mean, really hard.  Have you ever tried to do anything you didn’t want to do for more than 5 minutes?  It’s stupid hard.  (work doesn’t count, because at least someone is paying you to do something you hate, and it gives you a reason to buy new shoes)

Oh my GOD!  I just came up with my resolution.  To buy more shoes.  There.  I’m done.  I’ve resolved. I might even do my feet a favour and after buying a pair of second hand store Manolo Blahniks will also purchase a pair of extra wide orthopaedics for my troll feet.

Of course if I buy open toe shoes I’ll have to shave the hair on my goink*. 

So now I ask you, did you make a resolution? And if so, did you already break it?

* goink (def): the space between the first and second knuckle on your toe; word and definition invented by karen, c. 1982
 

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125 Comments

  1. Parker McCoy says:

    LOL. You make a great point here. I’ve thought of lots of resolutions I could make but eh. It’s a lot of pressure to put on one’s self. I find it’s best to relax and do things when I’m ready instead of adhering to tradition and going by a certain date. It makes me feel like part of a big herd. To hell with that. Great post!

  2. Jane C. says:

    No resolutions for me. I used to make a few and then feel terrible when I broke them. Life is too short for that. Having said that, I do hopefully intend to keep up a little better with garden weeding this year.

  3. MartiJ says:

    Reading this post for the first time and it’s making me feel very bad that I could have known what a “goink” was for 5-6 years, but somehow missed it? Yikes! What else have I missed?

    Happy New Year anyway.

  4. KarenJ says:

    My husband calls them “Fred Flinstone Feet”. I’m cursed with them ☹️

  5. ND Weiss says:

    Hi Karen,

    Just a note to say thanks for being The Cool Gal… in spite of your insistence that you’re anything but. I appreciate your humor, determination, and even your slacking off. Wish we were pals. Consider moving to Buffalo.

    Happy 2020!

    ND Weiss

  6. Ei says:

    OMG! I am sooooo happy to know that I am not the only one with hairy goinks. I once wore sandals with them in unshaven state and a friend (hmm…define friend?) looked and said: “You have Frodo feet!”
    (sigh…she is, unfortunately, right. Size, width, hairiness…check, check, check).

  7. Ann Brookens says:

    I don’t understand the whole draw of making a New Year’s resolution. I haven’t done it for years; I mean, what’s the point? I don’t know anyone who’s kept it up for more that a month!
    That said, my resolution is to eat more chocolate this year. I’m pretty sure I can manage to do that for the next 12 months. Plus, I think I’ll start announcing my birthday. You know how you get older than 29 and you decide to stop having birthdays? Well, forget that! I want recognition that I have lived for 67 years; …well, recognition and presents! And cake! Money would be good, too. Ok everybody, my birthday is January 19. Shower me with acclaim!

  8. Cathy Reeves says:

    I’m reading this via my email account and there’s nada on the side. Blissful to be sure.
    I set goals which are probably resolutions in sweats without undies on. But it works for me. If I was single I’d take up the mantle of your restaurant dining idea; it sounds wonderful. But mine is to paint or sketch every day. I’m retired and I have no good reason or excuse for not doing this. Also practice my calligraphy lessons. I probably should make a tidy, mostly dust free house a priority but I needed something attainable. And fun.
    Housework is decidedly not fun. And I suck at it.

  9. Cindy says:

    I’m not making any resolutions, but I’m going to try to continue some things I started last year: continue my home reorganizing, chip away at my lengthy craft list (using what I have and not buying more supplies to start new projects), cook more at home (and eat less take-out), continue to avoid caffeine (and soda… unless it’s grape), which means I’ll be drinking more water. Eventually, I’ll have enough space to exercise and my exercise bike will be cleared off (it’s currently piled with craft supplies and pillows), but those things will happen as a natural result of some of the things I listed above. And, if cutting out coffee means no more morning stops for a bagel/muffin & coffee and also drinking more water, maybe I’ll lose weight in the process. Maybe less takeout will help with that, too. But, no pressure, and I’m definitely NOT calling any of these things “resolutions.” I’m just making tiny changes, that will eventually lead to big changes. All in good time…

  10. Connie S Volkman says:

    I guess I’m sappy because I decided that I needed to resolve that I am going to be nicer to people and especially those that are rude to me. I’m going to give out more hugs and tell people how much I appreciate their love in my life. We will see how long that lasts…I live in the USA.

  11. Deb Wostmann says:

    No resolutions for me other than to make no resolutions. Life’s too short to make resolutions so eat cake instead. Cheers to you and your wide feet in 2020!

  12. Beckie says:

    I make intentions. I read it on a blog a few years ago and liked the gentler, less intimidating sound of “intending to___” instead of “resolving to____”

    My intentions for 2020:
    Hang laundry on the lines as much as possible
    Preserve as much of my garden produce as I can
    Take my vitamins
    Give myself (or get) an actual manicure once a month

    A few years ago, I resolved to be kinder and more forgiving with myself. It was the last resolution I ever kept.

    Happy New Year!

  13. Deb says:

    Happy New Year everyone. Was trying to figure out why everyone was talking about 2014. Am I in a time warp!!! The I remembered than you, Karen, are redoing posting your posts. I shave my goink but only in the summer..

  14. Jules says:

    I’m so happy to discover that hairy goinks are so common. In fact I’m wondering if naturally hairless goinks even exist. Thanks Karen, and have a fab 2020.

  15. whitequeen96 says:

    Thank you for the fun you brought into what was otherwise a pretty dreary year. (I live in the U.S.) I hope you have a wonderful 2020 and that it brings you everything you wish for!

    Karen of The Art of Doing Stuff: bringing fun and humor into 1,000’s of people’s lives (100’s of thousands? Millions?) several times a week for nearly 10 years!

    I’m sure there’s a more eloquent way to say this, but it’s getting close to midnight and time to welcome in the new year!

  16. Marilyn Meagher says:

    I don’t make resolutions but I try to make some
    Promises to myself. This year I’m going to try to make more time for myself. To exercise, visit with friends. See more movies. Etc. Pretty simple really until you try to do it. Lol. Anyway happy new year Karen. I hope
    2020 is good to you. Xo

  17. Diane says:

    Yay, I made it till a new year and new decade! I’m a Florida farmer and like my great grand parents who farmed here before me, on the menu will be blackeyed peas, greens, sweet taters and cornbread! Happy New Year to all ya’ll .

  18. Sandy Zelinsky says:

    Goink??? That’s a hilarious word. But of course, it’s a “Karen” word, so it’d have to be hilarious just like you. Happy New Year!! Not entirely sure what I’m doing on here at 12:50 am on the very first day of 2020, but here I am. Wishing you an extraordinary year ahead and keep the incredibly amusing posts coming. Look forward to every one of them.

  19. Eliza says:

    I pluck the hairs off my goink in summer.

    (never thought I’d put THAT online!)

  20. debbie bashford says:

    I am a huge tom boy, was in the military for 25 years, never into clothes or shoes, but I am a rabid purse hound and will trample you to get that last designer bag if it’s the one I want.

  21. Shauna says:

    I don’t make resolutions. They’re dumb because like you said, who resolves to do something they hate or stop doing something they love?

    I am, however, also a chicken farmer/gardener and love fashion. I even went to design school. And, one of the funniest days was when I came home from work in full dress and high heels and realized the chickens needed my attention and there I was in the coop, doing a bit of cleaning or something in full fashion gear. I had to keep bending down and tucking my dress up under my legs so it didn’t get coop gunk all over it.

    Another similar situation happened when I came home from work after the time changed and a baby possum had discovered how very warm it is inside the hen house. One hen was sitting outside roosting on a chair so I knew something bad was inside. I shined a flashlight inside (wearing work clothes again) to see the baby possum. Unfortunately, it was at that moment that the remaining chickens (who are basically blind in the dark) saw the possum for the first time and freaked the fuck out and came flying straight at me.

    Sooo, you’ll totally rock the high fashion while gardening, chickening, and DIY’ing. I’m sure of it.

  22. Jasmine says:

    How in hell do you fit troll birthing feet into Christian Dior shoes?? (goink notwithstanding)

  23. Izzy says:

    My New Year’s Resolution for 2014 is to not make any resolutions. Especially for my (like your) Fred Flintstone Feet. Except maybe to find a store (preferably online because I do almost ALL my shopping from my dining room table now) that caters to people with feet like ours….

  24. Debbie says:

    Happy New Year Karen! Glad you are back. Adding a clothing post now and then would be delightful. Not that you have said you were going to do that. Just a suggestion. :)

  25. Merrilee says:

    I always assumed people loved making resolutions, but from the comments I see I am the rare bird that does! I actually love the idea of starting fresh, new possibilities, new goals. On my list (yup, every year there’s a list, actually typed up, ok, maybe even an excel matrix) reading more books is a perennial favorite…and I just finished “and the mountains echoed” which was amazing! Another one for this year is running– goal of 700 miles for the year. Hit 685 in 2013 (the first year I’ve actually kept a tally) so I think 700 is very doable. Love the Strava app for this- records and upload right from the iPhone. (maybe they can be your next ad!) Happy New Year everyone!

    • Karen says:

      Oooo! I like the idea of a running goal. Of course mine would be km, not miles but I’m pretty sure it’ll still work. ;) ~ karen!

  26. Isabel says:

    well, at least the hair on your goink is blond. Mine is BLACK. yuk.

  27. I’ve fully committed to working harder(and smarter) on my blog. I haven’t broken my resolution yet, but give me a few weeks. also, better hair care…always, better hair care (gotta keep my ‘fro tight). hahahaha!

  28. cred says:

    Karen, I read AoDS on a mac- nothing on the left hand side for me.

    I didn’t- never do. Loads of things to improve but new years resolutions set me up to fail. I just need to jump when I need to focus on making an improvement and hope for the willpower required to make it happen.
    Happy New Year!

  29. Andrea Meyers says:

    Well, typical resolution. To lose weight. blah blah blah. But this year, I joined Food Addicts, so that is already helping. I refuse to call this my resolution this year though, it’s just gonna happen. period.
    My real resolution, stop walking around naked too much in front of my little girls, so I don’t scar them for life. LOL

  30. Gail says:

    Sarah, I totally agree- I actually sent real Christmas Cards with a sticky stamp and all! I bet I wowed the relatives!! And birthday cards- in the mail. Afterall, the USPS will collapse without us!! Karen, make one resolution- to have even more FUN!!! That’s what life is all about-!

    • Karen says:

      Oh I don’t need to make that resolution. I have more fun and enjoy what I do more than anyone I know! I’ve got fun covered. :) ~ karen!

  31. Sarah In Illinois says:

    My resolution is to send more letters/cards in the mail. The actual mail. That comes in the mailbox at the end of my driveway. Because I love to receive mail that is not bills and so it only makes sense that I should send more myself if I want to receive some!

  32. Laura Bee says:

    No resolutions, but since 1996 I have quit drinking, quit smoking, lost weight, gained weight, lost it again, got healthy, got hurt, got healthy again and one year I only ate about 2 pounds of bacon. (So glad hubby is not a vegetarian anymore.) This year I think I ate a pound of bacon over the holidays . . .
    One of the best things I did was stay single for almost 4 years after my bf screwed around and got his ex pregnant – this was the second time it happened. (different asshole) Maybe it was me!?
    I guess I make decisions to be better, do better as needed.
    Happy New Year Karen, I can’t wait to see what you accomplish this year.

  33. mia pratt says:

    I resolve and COMMIT to quit making stupid commitments to myself that I know I won’t keep. Ever. Like never eating sugar again…cutting down on chocolate…quitting coffee…getting up at 6 every day…going to bed by 10 every night…giving up my vibrator (for my neck, sheesh! Yeah, for my neck!)…getting a mani-pedi once a week….getting a mani-pedi once a month…no more dairy…200 sit-ups a day…no alcohol…no reality tv…no swearing. Need I go on? None of that is going to happen in 2014. What WILL happen in 2014 is I will pay attention to what feels good in my heart and do more of that, and what feels icky for my body and do less of that. So that’s the more good less icky resolution. That I can live with!

  34. Rhonda SmartyPants says:

    Goink – love it when you make up words. Love it when anyone makes up new words – my 6-years old grandson told us he was ‘nervacited’ after attending his first day of school in September. Prejudiced as I am, I love the word ‘nervacited’ and everyone else seems to think it is a word that totally sums up being nervous and excited at the same time and many of us know exactly what that feels like. So, goink works for me. I woulda/coulda commented last night when I received this post, but after reading it and reading some of the earlier comments, I thought I needed to let it rest a bit because I kept reading people’s comments asking what ‘goink’ meant and I was so puzzled because I clearly remembered you not only defining it, but telling us you made it up (even gave us the circa of its concoction).

    I’ve always loved watching you dig with shovels in your garden while wearing your stylish flats or flip flops…digging with your bare hands in the dirt with polished nails…doing the chores and tasks you do around your abode with abandon and whilst wearing a stylish top.

    I’ve also enjoyed watching some of your transformations as you evolved from a reader of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s farm girl-turned-writer and became a blogger of your present-day version of your similar lifestyle done in the city, so to speak. Bog Boots footwear, Rough Linen linens and still able to put panache into a Dollarama post. Prada your way forth, Miss Karen, with your goink tendrils bouncing lazily. I, too, have been blessed with wide feet (D width or more) and love the places hair finds its way to grow as one ages…considering I’ve had goink since my teens, I am in awe wondering where it will sprout next and when. Besides, Grimms’ tales of the goats and trolls hiding under bridges were favorites during my childhood.

    Resolutions for 2014? Nah, I’m more into making decisions, when necessary. I’ll let you know how that goes, when necessary. Until then, enjoy the weather — indoors. Brrrrrrrrrrrr, indeed.

  35. nancy says:

    I use ad blockers and I see stuff for sale such as Cubits, Printable Art (some of this I bought) and Rough Linen (most of which I would like to buy) etc. Does that work for making money?

    I wear scrubs to work and what my husband calls cozies around the house , the bar is so low, it’s very easy to get spiffed up.

    I have real troll feet sans hair. They are flat, wide, like 4E wide, narrow heel, high arch. Zappos is my BFF.

  36. Bonnie says:

    Don’t do your nails. I have horrible nails, and I will not ever be a nail polish wearer–it bugs me when it starts peeling. And, having nails bothers me because they get in the way and harbor dirt. I have been thinking about making a resolution to not say anything bad about anybody. I am pretty good about not gossiping, but every now and then, somebody irks me and I do say bad things. Hmmm… I don’t know if I can give that up. I am trying to be more Dali Lama-like, but it is hard. I guess I’ll just keep trying. He doesn’t have long nails, does he?

  37. Mike says:

    My resolution is to get some Radio Raheem love/hate rings.

    http://bluebattinghelmet.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/radio-raheem-love-hate.jpg

    Pretty sure with those, everything else would take care of itself.

  38. Kristin says:

    I had a boyfriend once who came to the realization that New Years resolutions should be things you WANT to do, rather than things you SHOULD do. So he resolved to go on a vacation to Spain and Morocco–and took me with him ;)

  39. Susan U says:

    I resolved to take a shower and clean the chicken coop. And I am proud to announce that I accomplished both. Yea me!

  40. Irene says:

    Ah. For the people complaining about adverts, two words; Addblock Plus. :-)
    Seriously, download it; I haven’t seen an ad anywhere online for YEARS!
    I got a horrible shock one day when I logged into my Facebook profile on another computer; all those yucky ads! No thanks. :-D
    Karen, soooo glad you’re back! I hope your little holiday was super good. :-)

    • Karen says:

      Um … Irene … lol. Well, you see if everyone puts up adblock then I don’t make any money. And if I don’t make any money I shut the blog down. So, as much as you may find the ads to be invading you visual space, without them I don’t have a job and you have nothing to read or learn from. It’s running ads on my site, or charging a subscription fee. ~ karen

      • Irene says:

        Oh. Crap. Sorry. I’m so used to not seeing ads that it didn’t even occur to me that you were running them. :-(
        I also really just assumed that people were talking about random unwanted ads from other sources.
        My bad.
        PEOPLE! Do NOT use Adblock Plus!
        :-)

        • Karen says:

          LOL. Yup. I run ads. I have to. That really is the only way I make money! But I realize a lot of times people just don’t think of that. ~ karen!

  41. Debbie says:

    Resolution? What’s a resolution? :)

  42. Barbara says:

    I have resolved to buy “good” shoes (probably the ugly kind, not the Prada!) Had a recent bad experience with bargain shoes that made me feel like I had a heel spur. And I bought them in two colors because I liked them so much and they were inexpensive! So it’s good shoes for me this year. I’ve already been shopping on line!

  43. kate-v says:

    hey – i already work on the Christmas resolutions and that is enough for any year – I like the Christmas resolutions because you make ’em easy – all printed up and a snazzy calendar to go with — that is good enough for me – besides I have to work on my knit and crocheted Christmas presents all year and don’t have time for other resolutions…
    Happy New Year everyone – hope 2014 is the best yet.

  44. Karen P says:

    I didn’t “resolve” to do it, but I’m on an organizational kick since Christmas. Started when I needed to find a place for all the goodies Santa brought me… 1 closet and the laundry room got reorganized and decrapified. Then continued when I packed up the Christmas decorations and felt the need to reorganize the attic. My son’s room has 2 attic spaces/closets that I went through to make room for more stuff he’s too old for but that I want to save for potential grandchildren (is that weird… please tell me no!). Anyway, I have a vehicle load of stuff to take to Goodwill and feel 10lbs lighter (though chocolate has helped fuel my energy level so I’m probably 10lbs heavier). I realize that all the work I’ve done has been on areas of the house that no one sees but me and occasionally my hubby. So, I’m hoping the energy (and chocolate) lasts long enough to get me through the whole house and basement. If I had to pick a word of the year it would be DECRAPIFY ;-) And if I was forced to pick a resolution when questioned by Dave Letterman, I’d say “Get crafty more often, and blog more frequently”… but those have been daily goals for quite awhile now. And I too, shave my goink.

  45. Thera says:

    As an artist, stay at home mom and housewife, I understand the clothes thing completely.
    I too tend to wear the same track pants/t shirt/sweater because “who cares” and then I die of embarrassment when someone unexpectedly comes to the door, I even have a pretty apron at the ready, but never use it.

    As for resolutions/goals or whatever you want to call them, I have a few for 2014.
    Quit smoking, this will be a dozy.
    Start doing the things I should again (morning pages, meditating, walking, yoga drawing or painting everyday).

  46. Bols says:

    Thanks for the laugh, Karen of wide feet (I have wide feet, too!)

    I never make New Year’s resolutions – they would not last more than 2 weeks (if the stars were aligned just so) – so why bother?

  47. Lisa Kuhl-Thomas says:

    I no longer make resolutions. I couldn’t handle the disappointment. I just make small changes throughout the year when I feel a change needs to be made. And I have hair on my toes too. My husband makes fun of it all the time. I refuse to shave them, I have enough to shave as it is. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. :)

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