I’ve gotta tell ya. I’ve never met an orchid I didn’t love. Teeny ones, big ones, purple ones, bug infested ones that tip over sideways a little bit. It doesn’t matter. I just love me some orchids. Part of the reason is that even though they cost a lotta money to begin with, they stay fresh for MONTHS. They’re like a Twinkie on a branch. In fact I’ve been known to get sick of an orchid before it gets sick of me.
I’m sure you’ve been there. You buy an orchid and you absolutely love it. It looks great!! It’s in the perfect spot, looking all elegant and chic. A couple of weeks into your orchid ownership you marvel at how it still looks as beautiful as the day you bought it. A month goes by and it’s not quite as cute anymore … it looks fine … but for no reason, other than existing, it’s starting to bug you. Die already you stupid orchid, die. Or maybe that’s just me.
Because of this, I’ve had to come up with a variety of ways to trick myself into thinking my old, pedestrian orchid is a new, exciting orchid! I’m easy to trick so it isn’t difficult. Try this when your orchid starts to anger you:
This particular orchid was just minding it’s own business, sitting on the kitchen counter when I assaulted it. It started to bug me, looking all stupid just sitting there in it’s comfortable clay pot. I was SICK of it. Like a husband who won’t change out of his track pants for weeks on end. Yeah, he looks cute and cuddly for the first couple of nights, but as time goes by he just looks like a slug. So I changed my orchid’s pants, tricked myself and now I’ve fallen in love with it all over again.
An potted orchid
A large glass vase big enough for the pot to fit into.
1-2 bags of orchid moss
A beer glass or something else to rest the pot on and raise it up.
Place stolen beer glass (or whatever you have) into centre of vase.
Fill around beer glass with moss, making sure your glass stays in the centre.
Once the moss is up to the top of the beer glass, place the potted orchid on top of the glass.
Shove the rest of the moss around the pot. This can be tricky if there isn’t a lot of space and you have fat fingers. Use a knife or chopsticks to shove it down if you have to. Try to keep the pot in the centre of the vase and remember to add a little moss to the base of the plant.
Admire your newly potted orchid …..
… and then go take care of whatever else needs to be done around the house.
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