Disease: Kitchen Renovation.
Symptoms: Itching

My house always looks lived in. The only times it doesn’t look lived in is when someone fancy comes over. And by fancy I mean someone with freakishly long nails, wearing one of those fox stoles where the fox is biting its own tail.

Fancy fox lady has never actually shown up, but if she did I’d be sure to clean the place up for her.

As it stands right now (and for the past 15 years) this house looks lived in. If you came over the dishes would probably be done and put away but there might be an array of magazines on the living room floor. Or a pizza making experiment going on in the kitchen.

There may even be toast sweat on the counter.

I find toast sweat on the countertop kind of comforting.

I draw the line at clutter though. I don’t like it. It makes me itch like I’m wearing a wool sweater. After a week of clutter that sweater feels like it’s made out of steel wool. Anything longer and I’m limping through the house wearing a onesie made out of yeast infection.

Behold the dining room pre-kitchen renovation. Granted it’s a picture from Christmas but you get the idea.




This was how the dining room looked about 2 weeks after Christmas.  It looked like this until just last night.  That’s 2 months.

Dining Room



The foyer on a normal day.




The foyer as it looked during the kitchen install which lasted about a week.  (and is still going on by the way) There were little noises coming from under the mess which I’m sure were garbage trolls.



The kitchen pre-renovation.



The kitchen mid-itch.

Kitchen After

Things are finally (relatively) cleaned up in the dining room, foyer and kitchen but the kitchen still isn’t near complete. The cabinets are installed, yes, but nothing else is. There were problems hooking up the stove, I still need the range hood installed, the counters haven’t been delivered yet and my kitchen sink is somewhere in the living room I think.

I can’t cook but at least I’m not itching anymore.

Kitchen renovations normally come with new appliances, cabinets, maybe a table and chairs. What they really need to come with, is penicillin.

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