You may remember way back in July I decided to start some enzyme cleaner. A homemade enzyme cleaner that's supposed to have the magical properties of a thousand unicorns.
Basically it's a combination of water, old citrus peels and some brown sugar. You can see my original post on how to make it here. It's supposed to replace regular toxic household cleaners and do an even better job. The catch? It takes 3 months to make. It needs that time to develop and ferment.
What happens is the citrus peels produce a small amount of yeast, which in turns eats up the sugar which somehow turns into enzymes. I have no idea how. I don't really care either. Enzymes are known to be great cleaners and any products that are used for getting rid of pet urine stink are usually made of enzymes. So homemade enzyme cleaner is good.
Of course I had to try making it because why wouldn't I? It's what I do. Try things. And this was looking especially appealing for some reason. The 3 months was a pain in the ass but I've waited much longer for far less so I figured I could tough it out.
Besides. If this enzyme cleaner was as good as the people of the Internet were professing 3 months of waiting was a minuscule price to pay. According to the tribe of enzyme Internet people, once it's done, this stuff will clean bathtubs, mirrors, toilets, food, pet urine, remove brown spots from your skin and of course, warts. Yes. That is what they say.
The last thing to get people this worked up was snake oil.
Here's how it all turned out for me ...
July 6th I started my batch of enzyme cleaner. 3 months later it hadn't done a thing. No fermenting, no gassing up, no nothin. All instructions for making this stuff warned you about the fact that so much gas will be produced in the bottle while it's working it's magic that the lid might explode off. No exploding. 3 months later it was the same as it was from day one, with a little extra colour and stink.
I also knew the enzyme cleaner wasn't ready because it was incredibly sticky. Any of the sugar I put in there was still there. If the enzyme cleaner had properly fermented there wouldn't be any sugar left in it.
So after 3 months of nothing happening I added a teaspoon of yeast to my concoction. This did the trick and within a few days the bottle was bubbling and fermenting and producing more gas than Honey Boo Boo at a chili eating contest.
About 2 weeks later it stopped producing gas and wasn't sticky at all, so I knew it was done.
I measured out the recommended ratio of Enzyme Cleaner to water. All the sites that extoll the virtues of this cleaner say to use it straight for pet accidents, one part enzyme to 5 parts water for cleaning glass, and 1 part enzyme to 10 parts water for general cleaning, like in bathrooms and kitchens.
And then I started cleaning. And what did I think?
DIY Enzyme Cleaner is stupid.
I started off by cleaning some sticky windows. It didn't work. Windex did.
Then I moved onto a mirror. It worked. So did Windex and so did plain water.
Then into the bathroom I went. It did a fine job on the sink and bathtub. Just like my regular cleaner only not as good.
Off to the kitchen. Again it did a fine job on the counters and windowsills but a terrible job on the baseboards (which had some kind of grease on them).
That's where I stopped my experiment. It seemed pointless to continue because I knew ... I was never going to make this again.
It wasn't that it was completely terrible, it just wasn't worth the effort and really didn't clean nearly as well as commercial cleaners. Yes, I know ... if you lick it though, you won't die! You won't die if you lick Windex either so don't worry about it. Neither will your baby.
If you're worried about that sort of thing there's a myriad of products out there that are safe for you and your baby and your curious licking problem.
I don't know if was just me, or my particular batch but after reading what other bloggers had to say about this stuff I was expecting rays of sunshine to come exploding out of my toilet after I cleaned with it. They did not.
I'm kind of suspicous about these other bloggers and what they normally use for cleaning products if they're so impressed with this. I suspect prior to making enzyme cleaner they'd been trying to clean their homes with roadkill.
And that's basically my assessment of this DIY Enzyme Cleaner. It's better than roadkill.
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I know you said you didn't care how this is supposed to work but the explanation is very simple. As you mentioned, yeast was supposed to eat the sugar but there's another step that maybe wasn't clear. Here's the simplified process:
Step: 1 yeast + sugar = alcohol + carbon dioxide (the reason why you don't tighten the lid)
Step 2: alcohol + bacteria = vinegar + water
(Both the yeast and the bacteria should have been found on the orange peels)
So you are basically making citrus scented homemade vinegar which, as a previous commenter pointed out, you can do much easier using plain white vinegar.
Blot up as much of the urine as you can, but this works on old stuff, too. Place in a glass bowl or jar: 2 tsp. baking soda, 2 small drops liquid dish soap, 16 oz. hydrogen peroxide. GENTLY stir until soda is dissolved. Soak entire area down with it. Don't rub or scrub! let dry.... for 24 hours..without disturbing. After 24 hours, gently blot up (again: don't rub or scrub). Allow to totally air dry. Odor is gone. Good on floors, rugs, couches....... I've even used it on persian carpets! I have a 16 yr old cat who is making many mistakes now, also a psyco cat who hates the others & the litter box...and a mischievous kitty who just wants to irritate the psyco one by peeing in psyco's favorite places. IT WORKS!
I love the The Art of Doing Stuff #2, We love you for doing this and alerting us to a complete waste of time!
Maria - Don't forget that you have to "Pin" these comments to enter the contest. If you're unsure of how to pin, take a look at my site on how to sign up for and use Pinterest. https://www.theartofdoingstuff.com/how-to-join-pinterest-so-you-can-enter-my-biggest-contest-ever/ ~ karen!
Thanks for sharing something that didn't work! I am so freakin tired of bloggers ignoring the question of efficacy and just going on about "OMG LOOOKIE YOU CAN DO XYZ!!!!" Just because you can, doesn't mean you should-- it really should be the pinterest motto. I think I'll make a board with that title. :D you are an inspiration!
Hah! Thanks Roxy. That's what I'm here for. ~ karen
Thanks for experimenting with the cleaner! I’m a Pinterest junkie and want to believe in all the great DIY stuff people share, but have found some (like making a cotton ball holder from an old candle jar) are just more work than they’re worth. Besides, someone’s gotta keep the economy going by buying the enzymatic cleaners others produce!
Thanks for experimenting with the cleaner! I’m a Pinterest junkie and want to believe in all the great DIY stuff people share, but have found some (like making a cotton ball holder from an old candle jar) are just more work than they’re worth. Besides, someone’s gotta keep the economy going by buying the enzymatic cleaner others produce!
And I second @Brenda’s recommendation for the de-skunking concoction. My terrier was hit point-blank last month and the hydrogen peroxide/baking soda/dish soap mix did the trick!
I second the person the said woolite oxy deep. Not organic, but did a great job of getting dark rabbit pee stains out of an off-white carpet.
I have an acrylic bath tub that is hard to clean since there are so many products you are not allowed to use on it as it will ruin it.
I hate chemical commercial cleaners - just being in the same room makes my lungs burn and make me nauseous.
in the past few weeks I have been using a really good homemade bathtub cleaner (haven't tried it anywhere else in the house yet - recipe courtesy of Martha Stewart):
Baking soda, a little bit of water enough to make a paste, 1 drop of liquid soap (the kind you use on yourself) and a drop or two of essential oil such as lavender (my favorite), tea tree oil or some other to your liking. Mix it all up.
Scrub the bathtub with some non-abrasive (for acrylic tub) sponge/brush/etc and the above mentioned paste and wash with water.
7 minutes tops including making the concoction and you have a clean, nice smelling bathtub.
Ha-You made my day! Wait, 3 months? I can't wait that long for anything (except my children and I didn't have any say about that) I met my husband and 7 weeks later we were married...been 31 years now. This was waaaay too funny! Where did you see this recipe again?
I tried it about a year ago and came to the same conclusion. When I blogged about it I thought about trying again using different fruit to see if it worked better, but never did because I love my other DIY cleaners better (mostly made of vinegar).
LOL I had to read this one to my husband! So glad you did this so I didn't have to! Funny Funny!
Oh no! Husbands *hate* it when their wives read my posts to them, LOL. ~ karen!
Thank you, Karen....for spending all that time on your enzyme experiment...so that we, your faithful readers would not have to. You are amazing!
Hilarious! The info is much more appreciated with laughter!!!
Thanks Jodie! I try. ~ karen!
my mama was the queen of cleaning. she had the cleanest house and laundry was her specialty. her washing machine died the day she did, honestly and literally. 409, comet, tide were brands I remember. they were good enough for her and I use them too. btw, she judged women by the cleanliness of their baseboards. Apple fell far from the tree with all 5 of her daughters though!
I look forward to your wayward thoughts that are always spot on!!:) I like your comment on windex vs natural regarding health benefits. I drive myself insane trying to go natural(especially on skin products)yet find that 'science' mixed in shows better results. In my biz, there's always a sample being passed around hoping for a distributor, so I gotta try....
Glad you tested this one for me.
Best glass cleaner for me thus far is windshield washing solution which I use for my car's front window. I keep it in what used to be ordinary glass cleaner spray container. The reason I believe it works is because of its alcohol content. Adding yeast to liquid that also contains some sugar (the citrus peels) most likely results in alcohol formation. If you wnt to keep it simple..use windshield washing solution.
Brenda said "bring on the draino". I had a plumber tell me to pore 1 cup of rock salt & boiling water down the sink once a month. Think Pop Rocks.
I use RainX on my windows & mirrors. Works on eye glasses also for anti-fogging. (the wipes or spray)
The paste I use on white erase boards. Wipe on then buff off. Makes the writing wipe off better.
That is almost exactly how we make 1st of May drink Sima. But instead of cleaning with it we drink it.
Enzymes?? seriously.... you made alcohol.
Bahahahaha that’s great!!!
I have noticed a curious phenomenon among blogs--products, recipes, and DIY fixes are lauded as "better than the original" and "ZOMG amazing." Sometimes they're things I've tried and know to be inferior, sometimes I can look at a recipe and say, 'there is no way that is edible.' I am now suspicious of any blogger who lauds anything to the heavens. I think they do it for the Pinterest popularity, honestly. And I kind of hate them for it.
I'd chalk up the glowing reviews from "the other bloggers" to the Bad Idea Syndrome. What's the Bad Idea Syndrome? Think of it this way: However much Misery loves company, multiply that by the number of people on the Internet and that's how much Bad Ideas love company. Bad Idea Syndrome ... BIS ... we can call it BS for short.
Glad I decided to wait and see how your experiment did..It looks totally gross..kinda like Honey Boo Boo when she acts rude and obnoxious..which is most of the time..