My mother doesn't swear. She'll tell you that if you ask her. Ask my nephew and he'll give you a different answer. When he was 6 years old he declared that "My gramma, smokes, drinks and swears a lot" to his Kindergarten teacher.
In his defence, the teacher did ask what his grandmother was like. The photo above is my mother's "I'm in public so I can't swear face." Notice the pinched smile and hands gripping her knees.
Of course my mother was mortified when she heard about what my nephew said to his teacher. He hadn't even mentioned her sassy fashion sense.
So I get my love of clothing, my migraines and my colourful language from my mother.
Unless you ask her. In which case she'll say she doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Of my two sisters, one swears and one does not. As in, I have never heard her swear a word in my entire life. Ever. Not once. Not even in secret I bet. She also doesn't drink, smoke or lie and has natural blindingly blonde hair. She's no fun at all.
My OTHER sister? She's lots of fun.
I first published this post asking if you swear, TEN years ago and haven't looked at it since. I cannot wait to start scrolling through the comments. I have noticed in that time I've adopted a very weird habit.
Instead of swearing, sometimes out of the blue I say "Darn it all to heck". Mainly in place of one of the lower grade swear words like shit. For instance if my toast burns it might get a Darn it all to heck, whereas a few years ago it definitely would have elicited a SHIT.
I maybe just don't care as much about toast as I used to.
So tell me my little assheads. Do you swear? And before you answer no, think of the second thing that would pop out of your mouth if you were to smash your shin on a glass table. (I'm assuming the first thing would some sort of grunt or cry)
I'll go first. Yes. I swear. And it isn't because I have a poverty of vocabulary. I'm simply a fan.
Rhonda Smartypants
Obviously, at least from the majority of posters so far tonight, you've got a real bunch of potty mouth followers, Miss Karen. I include myself in this bunch and proudly so. I am in my mid-60's and recall when it was unusual to hear a woman swear, at least not publicly, so it seemed to be something rebellious to do as a teen and in my early 20's. My pace picked up as it became more acceptable. Today, I love to swear and know almost to the minute when I said, "Fuck" without reservation; however, I am so fond of words and all the ways they can be used that I am just as likely to say, "Fiddlesticks" with the same conviction. Go figure!
Pat
Ha, ha! I use 'fiddlesticks' too; it's my go to substitue "F" word at work. And 'fudge' on occasion. At home is a different story though. Especially during a Saskatchewan Roughrider football game. Anything goes!
Emily
Hell yes! And when I really want to get my point across I used the F word. A lot.
Erica
The first word that would pop out of my mouth would be something like godddamnmotherfuckingsonofabitchgodddamnmotherfuckingsonofabitch . The second word would be ow.
Amie Mason
Yes! I'm Australian so it considered a national pass-time.
Mondo | I bake he shoots
of course, I swear. profanity is fun. once, in college, I was telling a story peppered with profanity within a large group of people. one of the girls didn't appreciate my lingo; and asked if I needed to swear so much. the group went quiet and after a couple of beats I responded with "fuck you!'. everyone laughed. it was one of the coolest moments of my life.
thanks, profanity!
Lyn
Yes, but not in the course of regular conversation. Fuck is the best word ever, it totally conveys either you are really pissed off or really hurt yourself. There's no second guessing that word.
My mother occasionally said shit but her favorites were "Got dandruff, sunk in a ditch you dirty basket". Of course you have to say it with the proper gusto.
Pam'a
Sure I do. It's so common now, however, that it's largely powerless.
I like to recall the creative utterances of the women I knew growing up. My Aunt B. in particular, who was the kindest, most even-tempered woman I have ever known, would, in moments of frustration, murmur, "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," and many of the gals were known to ask What in the SAM HILL is going on? I always wondered who Sam Hill was.
Sam
I go as far as "crap" and "blast" for the shin-banging moments in my life. Anything stronger is reserved for really dire situations; my friends know that if shi*t passes my lips it's a life-changing moment lol xxx
Karla
Me too. I say "darn" alot also. But when I say sh*t my friends know to clear a path and wait for me to climb down from the ceiling.
Valerie
This is a true story:
When my son was in public school I went to a third grade parent teacher interview after Christmas. The teacher told me that prior to the holidays she had asked the class what they knew about Jesus. My son put up his hand and proudly announced to the class that he knew what Jesus' last name was. Then curiously she asked him to tell the class. His response was Murphy.
mia pratt
Well, @$%^ (&* @@$$!!!!!! and @!$%K
Mati
No I don't swear unless you consider "oh shoot a duck" and "you suck egg mule" and "oh crap" swear words. One of my favs is dagnabbit! Just thought I would be the 1% on here that said no to the swearing you see there always has to be balance.
Lin
Bloody well yes I do swear. Tried substituting words like frig, son of a beach ball, be-atch but it just isn't the same. Ya need the 'real' word impact and feeling. Gave up smoking about twenty years ago. Never was a real good drinker but I do enjoy a drink now and again.
Bernard Bryant
I swear, curse or spew expletives with twisted delight (even when I'm really angry).
I for one (or all) do not share my 7th grade English teacher's opinion that using such profanity is a display of ignorance and points to a diminished vocabulary (or some such she-at).
In fact, I find it a challenge to colorize my own points of view or spice up an otherwise dreary report with strategically implanted bleepers. It's therapeutic as well as rhetorically effective.
It's my own form of artistic display, that only gets better amid family members where it reaches levels of competitiveness unequaled by professional sports.
Except in front of Claire (the family matriarch). The F-bomb is THE Mega-taboo, sure to earn scornful glares and reprobations (not too mention deep-seated feelings of guilt) that can last for seasons on end. Thankfully, her hearing diminishes with wine.
Cheers
Therese Bourne
Oh yes I do, especially when driving.
I swear too much around the children too. Once, when my husband and I were having a rather heated debate about DIY, one of my (then) 3 year old twin daughters interrupted with "Excuse me". We ignored her and continued. The steam of "excuse me's" continued.She started hopping about, fair curls bobbing, with her hand up. Finally, after a particularly insistent "EXCUSE ME!" I stopped and said in exasperated tones, "yes, sweetheart, what is it?" She said "Mummy, you said BUGGER!"
Jamieson
I swear a normal, healthy amount at any time of day no matter what the condition of my shins, but I am fully capable of corralling my blue tongue when children or live TV cameras or Delicates are around. I am a lover of language and linguistics and all the words count for something. I vividly remember my grade 10 English teacher saying "you kids think you invented the F word, but it's been around for centuries." That made me embrace it even more, plus all the others.
My mother swears somewhat less than me, unless cards or board games or cocktails are in play.
I have never in my life heard my father swear, not even when it was well deserved. Weird, right?!
Edith
Well, I'm not proud of it. And I try not to do it. And I don't like it when others nonchalantly pepper their normal conversational language with it. It seems primitive to me. However, when my shin hits that corner all bets are off.
Megan
I'm with Edith (though that's not to say that I haven't or couldn't peel paint if the right stars are aligned). I have a good friend who makes a point of not swearing, and that's taken my edge off quite a bit.
RadioRedHead
Do I swear?
Fuck yes. I swear too much. But I can reign it in when required. I work a LOT on the phone from home though with colleagues I've known for years so it flows freely. Of course when my audience changes I'm more polished. Or, I bring it out for effect, laughter or when it just slips. It's work these days around the kids though. (Why is the urge stronger when you CAN'T let it out?) My 6 yr old scolded me yesterday for using a bad word. When I asked what it was I said, he said "the F word!" I thought: "oh shit". And then he said "Frig! You said Frig"! I then smiled to myself and said "oh no I'm sorry" all the while patting myself on the back. I view "frig" as a WIN.
Jane
Hell yea...getting worse the older i get, too! My dad cussed constantly..used to embarrass me...now I'm just like him....relieves a lot of stress...try NOT to in front of grandkids...but I slip once in a while!
Noelle
Fuck no!! ;p
Heather
I swear A LOT! My mother, however, does not. When we were kids we knew she was mad if she said, "What the SAM. HECK. is going on in here?!" If we pushed her to the brink, she would use "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!", and follow that with an emphatic, "Pardon my language!"
I sh** you not.