My mother doesn't swear. She'll tell you that if you ask her. Ask my nephew and he'll give you a different answer. When he was 6 years old he declared that "My gramma, smokes, drinks and swears a lot" to his Kindergarten teacher.
In his defence, the teacher did ask what his grandmother was like. The photo above is my mother's "I'm in public so I can't swear face." Notice the pinched smile and hands gripping her knees.
Of course my mother was mortified when she heard about what my nephew said to his teacher. He hadn't even mentioned her sassy fashion sense.
So I get my love of clothing, my migraines and my colourful language from my mother.
Unless you ask her. In which case she'll say she doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Of my two sisters, one swears and one does not. As in, I have never heard her swear a word in my entire life. Ever. Not once. Not even in secret I bet. She also doesn't drink, smoke or lie and has natural blindingly blonde hair. She's no fun at all.
My OTHER sister? She's lots of fun.
I first published this post asking if you swear, TEN years ago and haven't looked at it since. I cannot wait to start scrolling through the comments. I have noticed in that time I've adopted a very weird habit.
Instead of swearing, sometimes out of the blue I say "Darn it all to heck". Mainly in place of one of the lower grade swear words like shit. For instance if my toast burns it might get a Darn it all to heck, whereas a few years ago it definitely would have elicited a SHIT.
I maybe just don't care as much about toast as I used to.
So tell me my little assheads. Do you swear? And before you answer no, think of the second thing that would pop out of your mouth if you were to smash your shin on a glass table. (I'm assuming the first thing would some sort of grunt or cry)
I'll go first. Yes. I swear. And it isn't because I have a poverty of vocabulary. I'm simply a fan.
Mary
Absolutely. The older I get, the worse I get.
Debbie
I have incorporated Asshat after reading it here. It seemed a softer way to say dumb-fucker.
Loralee
I don't swear and it makes me cringe when others do, but you'd be hard pressed to meet someone with more energy, fun-ness, and immaturity (although still responsible) than me. ;0)
I do say "crap" a lot if that helps.
Jodi T.
Oh yes... But I've had to tone it WAY down since having kids... This morning, my daughter said "Shucky Darn" while tieing her shoes... I didn't know if I should tell her something about "swearing" but figured if that's the best she can do, I can deal ;)
karol
I like to think of it as a temporary onset of Tourette Syndrome induced by either fear or anger. MF is my immediate outcry when I'm frightened. My mother and father were both sailors, so there ya go. I know and use all of the bad ones and probably a few foreign versions. I once chaperoned a group of 8th grade girls to Disney World and got talked into riding Space Mountain with them. I cursed the ENTIRE ride much to my daughter's chagrin.
sigh.
mayr
fuck yes I do
Barbie
Yes, I started when I turned 40 and now it's really out of control! HA! Trying to stop!
Jen
Fuck, yeah, mothafuckah!
CaymanAli
Daily...and my kid swears and I am OK with it. She is a late talker so all words coming out of her mouth are a pretty joyous sound...I think it's pretty clever when she manages to use them in the right context.
Kim from 3 peanuts
Like another commenter said...I am not a conversational curser at all. My parents did not swear much growing up and none of us three daughters do either. When my kids start using silly kid slang (imitating rap gangstas) or cuss words, I told them that they are too intelligent for that and should try to think of better vocabulary. And in part I do believe that. I think cussing is a tad lazy. However, recently I have been known to throwing a cuss word in for effect now and then and I really get people's attention. So it is effective when used sparingly. I could count on one hand the times I have cussed in front of my kids but when I have, they know I mean business.
I know I am in the minority here and that is okay but I think our society has lost a certain amount of grace and civility over the last generation. People using swear words constantly is going right along with that. I hope people don't cuss me out for saying that:)
Deb
Oh my. I went to Rondina's site. I think it's something I need to enlist after the new year. Although my mother's side of the family has been researched extensively, my dad's family has not (that I know of). My grandparents were born in Hungary, emigrated in the early 1900's, and I'm rabid for information. Amazing how drops in a pond create circles that touch so many...and quite a rough seque from cussing.
Rondina
I "punctuate" with words that my parents would be stunned that I even knew.
Karen
I finally took a look at your website Rondina! You have a fascinating job! Fun! I have a box full of papers from my grandfather's journey from Denmark to Canada. I've always wanted to track my various ancestors down but have never had the time or energy. Maybe one day I'll enlist your services. :) ~ karen!
Angela
I curse like a sailor, but am trying to rein it in, as I have 2 young nieces (7 & 4) and I'd rather they not repeat me - they've got their father (my lovely brother) for that :-) It must run in the family.
Example and true story: "While in the hospital with his wife, after her giving birth to my first niece, a nun came to their room. The nun asked my brother if it was okay to take a moment of their time so she could pray with my sister-in-law, to which my brother replied: "Hell yes, sister, go right ahead." :-D
He realized his language about 1/2 second too late, much to my sister-in-law's mortification, lol!
Alison
From my daughter when she was about 10 years old..."Mommy, I don't think you're supposed to say the word fuck in front of me." That my friends says it all!
andrea meyers
it's so bad sometimes, everyone knows that in good story telling, the F-bomb is an adjective!
Nikki Kelly
Oh man, my go to when I hurt myself is: Shit! ShitShitShit! Aww shit.
Debbie
My favorite curse word is, "Pooky". It works for me. If I hit my shin on a table, though, I don't think pooky would do it! Sometimes, there is no other way to express certain feelings.
I hope you are fully recovered from your migraine. A cute story I forgot about until now: A very good friend of mine was an elementary teacher. One day she had an awful migraine and asked her young charges to keep it down for the day (which they did). As one of the children was leaving for the day, she turned around and said, " Ms. V, I hope your migration goes away!" The ensuing laughter did a lot to help!
Emie
My dogs name is Pookie... LOL
Jaime
My favorite swear word was the very first one I ever said, "Fuckerbitch" clearly the stuff of genius pre-schoolers and if you don't like it, well, that's your bag of dicks, you eat it. If that really, really makes you mad, you can jump up and lick my ass! I think I go for confusion mixed with awe, though I must say that even *I* was shocked at how Londoners casually toss out "cunt". Here in the 'States, that is the one we save for when nothing else will do.
Does anyone have a super special swear word that is saved for really, truly emergencies?
kathryn
"even *I* was shocked at how Londoners casually toss out “cunt”. "
teehee Jaime, you know that "toss" is also British sexual slang don't you?
Penny
Fuckerbitch is pretty good, but Thundercunt describes the same woman to UK readers.
Ellen
This fucking made my day.................
Feral Turtle
Hmmmm it depends if someone is there to hear it. "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"