Have a bottle of wine but no corkscrew? No problem. It's probably a twist off cap. But if it isn't ... here's how to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew using a shoe and a tree trunk. Kind of.
There you are. Sitting in the middle of the woods all alone, with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and no corkscrew. What's a gal to do? How do you open a wine bottle without a corkscrew?
According to the Internet you just grab yourself a shoe, head to the nearest tree and start whacking. In no time that cork will pop out and you'll be relaxing on a bed of pine needles with your forest friends as you drink your way to being the life of the party, great dancer, deep thinker that you and you alone think you are when you're obliterated.
The Internet is a big, fat liar. This has kind of been the mantra behind everything I do on The Art of Doing Stuff from day 1. I try to present practical information that I have first hand experience with. If things don't work I tell you. Like magnetic eyelashes. Which technically work, but instead of making you appear sexy and flirtatious give the impression that you have in fact gone mad. You can see me experimenting with magnetic lashes and looking like a lunatic here.
So in 2010, in the early years of this blog I was alerted to a Youtube video that showcased a rather distinguished French gentleman dressed in his fancy dress up clothes, with his fancy accent, standing beside his fancy car. Mr. Fancy Pants then proceeded to show how we can easily and in quite a poised manner, open a bottle of wine by sticking it in a shoe and smashing it against a tree.
This I assumed was for people who had recently stolen a bottle of wine and didn't have time to steal a corkscrew as well. I suppose perhaps, it could also be for the people who are on their 3rd or 4th bottle of wine and just can't identify a corkscrew anymore.
Either way, I was fascinated with this video. The ease! The quickness! The grace with which one can open a bottle of wine with a stinky old shoe and a dirty, bug filled tree astonished me.
I am usually only astonished by lies. (Hey Karen ... you look GREAT in those culottes! Hey Karen ... I honestly think spider veins are kindda sexy) That sort of thing.
So this got me to thinking. I wonder if this video is a lie? Could it really be this easy? Could I really look this distinguished while trying to open a bottle of wine on a tree trunk? I certainly hoped so. Because this would be the best party trick in the world, second only to dangling a teaspoon off the end of your nose.
I gave it a shot, and here's how it went.
How to Open a Bottle of Wine Without a Corkscrew
No Corkscrew? Opening a Wine Bottle With a Shoe.
You have a wine bottle with a cork but no corkscrew. If you have a shoe and a tree, you might, MIGHT be able to open it.
Materials
- Shoe
- Wine bottle
- Tree
- Luck
Instructions
- Place your bottle of wine with the base inside a hard soled, or sturdy shoe.
- Start whacking the heel of the shoe against a hard object like a tree trunk.
- Just keep doing that and checking the cork. At some point (maybe in 1 minute, maybe in 12 hours) the cork will slowly start to push out from the jarring pressure.
- Pull cork out once enough has popped out and enjoy your wine plus an extra glass because you've just burned 1,200 calories. You deserve it.
Conclusion: You literally need to manhandle the bottle of wine for this to work. It does not knock out with a few quick smacks on the tree as it did in the original Youtube video (which has long since been removed from Youtube). I'm not sure I ever could have dislodged the cork on my own.
For one thing, there's the underlying terror that the bottle is going to explode into razor like projectiles of glass. Which, although entertaining for a YouTube video or a Wile E Coyote cartoon ... is not nearly as amusing in real life.
If you're alone and trying to open this bottle of wine I suggest you run the streets looking for someone to help you. Someone with enormous strength or anger issues.
Your best options would be Godzilla or a woman who was recently criticized for her spider veins.
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Liz
Hysterical! Personally I prefer your video - much more entertaining!
pat
Nice work Karen. Is he wine chilled? The botttle looks frosty. Or is it all that shakin' goin' on?
Rachel
I'm thinking they cut a lot of the smacks against the tree out of the Mr. Fancy Pants video. Oh the ease of opening your wine with "only the bottle and your shoe."
Karen
Rachel - Yes, the video has definitely been edited to make it appear a little more "boom, boom, boom, wine!". ~ karen
Jenn
Okay, that was my first viewing.
One - you're not already imbibing before you start this? Oh, my, you have more fun than me!
Two - you don't even like wine.
Classic.
Susan
Ah Ha! Notice at 40 and 41 seconds into His video, there was a cut in it to a close up. THERE'S where there were 151 whacks in between.
I just adore you and it was fun to see you "in person". Thank you for keeping this blog and me knowing I'm not the only one who has some of the same conversations in my head. <3 S.
Lou Cinda
Oh Em Gee!! I had not seen this before...SO I had to watch it THREE times!! So funny!!! Your mother!! Hysterical!! I am going to try this! For real! I don't feel good about it.....keep you posted!
Lou Cinda ;)
OH! And enjoy your Canadian holiday....while I am at work....on a non-holiday here.... :(
Jess
I found your blog through the Nester, I love it here. :) I can't watch videos on my work computer so I actually searched for this video on youtube on my iPhone while I was sitting at my desk... so glad I did.. it was hilarious! I watched a couple others just to see how "easy" it was supposed to look, and I agree, the French guy totally edited. I'd like to try it, but the only big tree I have is in the front yard... wonder what the neighbors will think? hahaha
Rhonda Nesin
OK, after watching the YouTubes recommended above, I did a search on the champagne thing, and now realize that sabering champagne must be pretty widely known - sorry for that.
But, if you haven't seen it before, this is a pretty good video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHHSOKFzmYQ&feature=fvsr
Watch some where they whack the neck of the bottle instead of running the knife along the seam, and they ruin it every time.
Rhonda Nesin
Even seeing the little pic next to the link for this on your Steven and Chris post made me laugh in remembrance.
Last time I read this post, I wanted to ask if you knew how to Bonsai a champagne bottle - which is way more spectacular than the shoe/wine thing, and much more predictable. No worries, small trees are not harmed. (Can't remember why I didn't post that time. I think I just wimped out.)
Take the back edge of a butcher knife, i.e. the not-sharp edge, and run it along the 'seam' of the champagne bottle in one long, fluid, committed motion. No extreme force necessary, but you have to mean it. When the knife blade meets the rim of the bottle, the entire top of the bottle flies off in a clean break! You will lose a little bubbly, but who cares?
Practice with Andre first, or your choice of cheap champagne.
Lisa
This is the funniest thing I have seen in a LONG time. I'm sitting at the kitchen table laughing. I made my boyfriend watch it just so I can see it again. You just gotta whack it like you want it!
Karen
Thanks Lisa! Maybe that was the problem. I really *didn't* want it. Had it been a Diet Coke, that thing would have been opened in a heartbeat. ~ karen
Laura
Just came across your blog from a friend's rec - HILARIOUS! There aren't too many trees in NYC to try this on, but maybe I will make "being able to open a bottle of wine in six smacks" my new workout goal. Motivation!
Alyssa
Scenario: 11:00pm, first night of weekend long family reunion, commonly refered to as the "Stand'n'Drink." 12 bottles of wine and no corkscrew. (The point isn't so much the quantity of wine present as the fact that someone managed to pack that much and not bring anything to open it with...) After a long day of travelling, sitting in construction zones, losing cell phones, getting lost, and "cloud bursting" (The Men who stare at Goats, anyone?) so we wouldn't have to tent in the rain... it was time for a sangria "nightcap." And no 24hr place closer than 30 minutes away, requiring an hour wait.
Experiment: Is it possible to remove a cork from a wine bottle with a tree and a shoe?
Conclusion: Yes. Most emphatically yes. In fact, we liked it so much, we did it again the next night. (Read, we all mananaged to forget to stop and buy a stupid corkscrew between the multiple trips to nearby stores.) It took my Uncle 20 whacks... and my sister's boyfriend did it too. But not in 6. Reading your blog made the whole weekend that much more enjoyable. Thanks.
Karen
OMG, that's great! Thanks for letting me know. Glad to be of service. :) - karen
Astex
Seems to be an Illinois commercial ?
Would need to let the wine cool down after you open the bottle.
Andy
You were doing it in the wrong order. You needed to drink some first and then try. Here's another demonstration from someone who is clearly a seasoned vet!
Schmidty - Man Vs. Style
I think Ill just stick to using a cork screw.
Although a lot of wine nowa days have twist tops to avoid the wine becoming corked years down the track (i.e. no waste in years to come)
Mary Hagenston
Just to rub it in a bit, here is a short similar video a friend sent me that makes it seem soooo easy! Take a peek and see if you are inspired to try it again, as we all need another good laugh! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYn4CDMh_tA
Tori
Karen you are hilarious and since yesterday I'm now addicted to your blog!!! Thanks to Design Sponge, you're my new regular dose of entertainment! Thank you! :-)
Meg
I'm not even sure how I came upon this website, but that video was simply hilarious. You're amazing!
Shannon S.
That is absolutely hilarious!
Steve G
Very entertaining. I notice that you tried to open the bottle with the foil on but "Mr Fancy Pants" removed the foil completely before "smacking the tree". It's hard to tell from the video if you trimmed the end or not. I wonder if that is what made the difference.
Karen
Hi Steve. No ... I didn't try to open the bottle with the foil on. It was off. So that wasn't the problem. The problem is that people put things in commercials, or on television or on the Internet making things look easier/better than they are. The magic of editing as they say. THAT's the true difference between his video and mine. :)
Cheryl K
Remember, "the internet lies!"
Karen
Indeed. The Internet is a big fat liar. Not *my* Internet though. Mine only tells the truth. :) ~ karen