Official definition of the Internet:
A global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet Protocol Suite to serve billions of users worldwide who exchange important information.
Unofficial definition of the Internet:
A global system of interconnected confused people that use that magic thingy up in the sky to look up recipes and sale items.
I had to look up the definition of Internet on the Internet because my newest dictionary in the house was published in 1986. There is a blank spot where the definition of Internet should be. Ironically there is a definition for Milli Vanilli where a blank spot should be.
Strangely none of the hundreds of definitions for the Internet I found included the words “time suck”, “big fat liar” or “time suck”. Go figure.
Speaking of that big, fat, liar the Internet the time has come to reveal my findings on a WD-40 email that was making the rounds. This email suggested WD-40 would make an excellent sundae topping and if sprayed on the belly would work better than an epidural during childbirth. Of quadruplets. I believed this information to be a lie, so I selected 3 of the 43 claims in the WD-40 email and put them to the test.
Claim: WD-40 can remove lipstick stains.
Oh really? Well let’s give that a shot shall we?
Now I stick the stain treated shirt in the wash on cold. And we wait … *ding* … shirt’s ready, lets see how it turned out shall we?
Conclusion: WD-40 does NOT remove lipstick stains. It makes them doubly bad. And whoever started the original WD-40 email is a big loser who probably eats ravioli out of the can while petting his cat Fluffy who he plans to marry one day once it’s legal.
If you’re concerned about the fate of my favourite Big Weenies are Better tee shirt, wipe the sweat from your brow and let the word “phew” escape from your lips. Two Dual Power Spray & Wash treatments later and my tee shirt is like new. Although I’m sure Spray & Wash couldn’t do much for my rusty lock.
Tune in tomorrow when I test the claim that spraying WD-40 on your bathroom mirrors will stop them from fogging up. Not holding my breath. Must go look up some recipes and check for things on sale now. See you tomorrow!