At this very moment I am in the United States of America getting ready to take Betty through Graceland.  Pink Tool Belt and Fish Pedicure and I have brought Betty here for her 80th birthday.

This is how it happened.  Betty called me a couple of months ago to say she didn’t want anything for her birthday.  Certainly not a “big” present from all of us and she’d be really, really angry if we did that.  We were already in the planning stages of organizing a trip for her, plus we tend to ignore Betty on most things (including but not limited to haircut suggestions) so we ignored her on this too.

We presented her with her gift at her birthday party, but all we told her was that she was going on a trip and she’d have to figure out on her own where we were going.  Because there’s nothing more fun than screwing with an 80 year old.

She was given a series of clues over a few weeks and by the end of it if she hadn’t figured it out she got the final clue. If she didn’t get it by the final clue she didn’t deserve to go where we were taking her and the whole trip would be called off.


She got the clue.

Betty isn’t the kind of gal who is all that interested in anything other than Paris Fashion week so finding a spot that she’d want to go for her birthday was a bit of a challenge.  We wanted it to be just for a few days, not too far, but something she would really like. Also it couldn’t have anything to do with architecture, churches, history or any other boring thing.

Enter Graceland.

Even though my mother grew up in the 1950’s she has a remarkably limited knowledge of any pop culture from that era.  Seriously.  She knows nothing about what was going on at the time. I’m not sure if it’s because she was stuck in a nunnery for a while or because she was more interested in the clothing store she opened in her bedroom when she was 16, or what, but this woman missed out on the greatest period in music history entirely.

The one and ONLY thing she knows about pop culture from that time is Elvis.  She loves Elvis.  This makes no sense when you consider that now, at the age of 80, she could pick the real Lady Gaga out of a drag show lineup,  identify all of the Kardashians based solely on their manicures and can name the past 10 Bachelors and their occupations.

I won’t be posting on Monday, but I WILL be Instagramming, Tweeting and Facebooking throughout the trip so even if a post isn’t going up you’ll still be endlessly entertained by everything going on.   If you don’t follow me on those things you should probably do that right now.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have some architecture, churches and history to not experience. Thank you. Thank you very much.

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  1. maggie van sickle says:

    You only get one good crack at having a Mom so enjoy her to the fullest. She deserves the best and “Thank her, thank her very much“ for being your Mom. Have fun gals and oh ya I love your glasses Betty and your hair do.

  2. Kathy says:

    Well, hell and damnation! I was visiting Graceland the very same day! As well as Sun Studio and BB Kings on Beale Street! We’re from New Jersey, traveling with friends from Texas. Wish we had seen you! I’m sure I would have recognized your bunch!

  3. Stephbo says:

    My BFF and I went to Graceland to celebrate my college graduation. It was awesome!!!

  4. Kelli says:

    Happy birthday Betty you wild thing! And all you girls have fun shakin your hips and eating peanut butter-n-nana sammiches! (Moms are apparently too busy to worry about the music scene going on; my mom never knew anything about music either–it’s my dad that was the true afficionado–but we still joke about the day she was worried about that rock group “Dead Leopard”!) :)

  5. Shirley says:

    Going to Graceland will give you a whole new perception of Big E. You won’t lack for things to do in Memphis. You being a poultry kind of gal should not miss the Peabody ducks.
    “Before Elvis there was nothing.” John Lennon

  6. Amber says:

    Betty in Elvis Shades.
    Hot Damn.

  7. marilyn says:

    enjoy girls..i am so jealous..i would give anything for a trip with my Mom..an hour or a minute even

  8. Tracie says:

    I know you’ll have a super-fantastic time, and I am all kinds of envious! I have loved Elvis my whole life, and to this day, my sisters and I get together on his birthday to celebrate. We make a shrine to him, play his music all night, drink copious amounts of wine, give each other gifts, and even manage to squeeze in a cool craft or two. Some of our favorite memories of our Mom involved Elvis festivals too. Hi-jinx and shenanigans galore… ;)

  9. Barb says:

    So…what was the clue that gave it away?

    Have a rocking good time!

  10. Rachel says:

    Graceland is pretty awesome even if you aren’t an Elvis fan. Email me if you need more a memphis suggestions. Its a great city!

  11. LAURA GERBER says:

    Best glasses ever!

  12. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    Have fun girls!

  13. This just may be the very best 80th birthday party I have ever heard of!

  14. Susan De Masi says:

    Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? What are these things of which you speak? Please come back soon and BLOG.

  15. Heather says:

    Enjoy! Nothing like a getaway to refresh the soul.

  16. Feral Turtle says:

    Happy Birthday to Betty!! Have a great trip!

  17. Tigersmom says:

    No Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. And like J above, yours is the only blog I read because it’s not just someone spouting his opinion: I actually laugh and get inspired while I learn how to do stuff.
    Happy Birthday, Betty!!! You are looking good!!!! Kiss Elvis (or at least pinch his ghost’s ass) for me!

  18. Ei Con says:

    Love that fence in the background of Betty’s photo. That’s not your yard, is it?

  19. Ann says:

    Waving hi to you from across the state. I hope you guys have a great time in our wonderful state of Tennessee. And it looks like you will have a great weather week. Not to hot and not to cold with only a chance of rain one day in the next week. Enjoy some good BBQ while you are here and some good music while you eat it. Looking forward to hearing all about it when you get back

  20. Karen Too says:

    Happy Birthday to your Mum! Hope she has a wonderful time!

  21. janni says:

    How did I not know you are on Facebook and Twitter? Followed you on both! Happy vacation:) ~janni
    BTW, you are the only blog I follow. Love it!

  22. IRS says:

    I gotta give it to you. I consider Facebook to be an annoying, privacy invading waste of time. And Twitter to be an even more annoying, although mercifully brief, waste of time. And Instagram to be a Supremely Annoying waste of time that should be restricted only to Kardashians and their minions. However, only because of you, I will sigh deeply, hold my nose, grimace sharply, and access all of these teeny-bopper social media, just to follow your trip. But only until you get home. And for my trouble damnit, I had better see some photos of Betty looking unimpressed and disgusted.

  23. Grammy says:

    Have a blast, ladies. And you should understand that if you grew up in the ’50s and only knew ONE thing about pop culture from that era, it must be Elvis. All else was pretty much white noise.

  24. j says:

    No Istagram, no facebook, no twitter! No time to be more busy!! I have to set some limits! Have a great vacation and I’ll look forward to your next blog. Only YOUR blog–and that is a big compliment to YOU! I’ll miss you,,,,

  25. Jani says:

    Hope you have a fun trip!!

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