The Holiday Gift Guide extravaganza continues today with great hostess gifts, stocking stuffer ideas and a bunch of gifts for under $25.
I got a snowblower for Christmas once. A big one. It had a headlight. I can’t say it was my favourite Christmas present but as far as gifts go, something with wheels is always memorable. Bike, car, skateboard, rollerblades, pianos; they’re full of wheels. You almost never overhear conversations in an old folks home about the great Christmas of ’32 when they got their first pair of long pants. You know why? No wheels.
So it’s with great disappointment that I have to tell you that none of today’s featured presents come with wheels. The good news is, you could easily add wheels to pretty much any of them if you wanted to, provided you used the right glue.
Hostess Gift Ideas
- Copper plated appetizer picks. 2. Cake crown topper. 3. Rolling Whiskey Glasses. 4. Sequined Table Runner. 5. Modern gold candle holders. 6. Instant Heat Lavender scented eye mask. 7. Matcha Tea Set. 8. Holidays on Ice (by David Sedaris). 9. Woodfire scented candle. 10. Glass nail file in rose gold case.
Three of the things on this list are personal recommendations from me because I own and love them. The first is the book Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris. This is only suitable for the hostess who isn’t offended by … well … anything. It. Is. Hilarious.
The other thing here that I own is the Illume “Woodfire” scented candle. The only problem with it is I think they should have named it “Cottage”. It smells exactly like a family cottage. Not mine of course, our family cottage was more like a dressed down version of Guantanamo Bay with a nudie calendar on the wall. But a regular families cottage would smell just like this candle.
The LAST thing on this list that I own and love are the Instant Heat Lavender eye masks. My friend Andrea, whom I’ve mentioned on my blog before, lives in Singapore and every time she visits she brings me a box of weird shit from Singapore. (I used the words “whom” and “shit” in the same sentence which shows some real skills) These masks were part of the package she brought me this year. I loved them SO much I ordered them myself from Amazon immediately. They look exactly like a panty liner but when you take it out of the package and open it up it instantly warms up to a pleasant temperature, wafting a subtle scent of lavender. Do panty liners smell like lavender?? I wonder if these are actually just repackaged panty liners. K, it’s possible I got duped but seriously, these things really are great.
Stocking stuffer ideas
- Padlock Flash drive. 2. Dammit Doll for stress. 3. Poo-Pourri. 4. Bacon Toothpicks. 5. Animal Head Keychain. 6. Magnetic Slime. 7. Tomato Manual timer. 8. Salt and Pepper. 9. Peter Heater. 10. Back Scratcher.
I know you’re immediately wondering which of these gifts I own. And yes. It is the Peter Heater but I use it as an oven mitt. As far as stocking stuff ideas go, it’s my second favourite item falling right after the animal head keychain. Stockings are the BEST thing about Christmas. Ask anyone. If they say church service or the joy in the air or love of fellow (wo)man, or anything like that they’re LYING. It’s the stocking.
Gifts for under $25
- Guzzle Buddy. 2. Grill Scraper. 3. Funky Vegetable Kit. 4. HUGE stick on wall clock. 5. Extra Large Playing Cards. 6. Nut bowl. 7. Bamboo calculator. 8. Cube clock. 9. Stuffed Heart. 10. Transistor Radio.
Let’s talk about #1, The Guzzle Buddy, for a minute shall we? There isn’t a single person among us who doesn’t know someone who needs a Guzzle Buddy.
And the huge deck of cards are great for older people who can’t see a regular deck but love to play cards. Of course if they’re also arthritic and can’t hold cards that’s another issue entirely.
Then there’s item #4, the wall clock. It. Is. $10. I can’t figure out how or why it’s so cheap but I’d almost like to order one just to see. From what I can tell it’s a regular metal, mechanical clock with huge hands and then foam numbers you stick on the wall. $10!!!
My favourite thing from the Under $25 list is the transistor radio. Other than the obvious fact that it’s super-cool you wanna know why I love it? Static. You would be able to hear bits of static on it. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
Again, no wheels on these lists, but when you start handing out Guzzle Buddies it’s probably best there isn’t anything with wheels around anyway.