I’m writing this at 10:45 p.m. from my living room couch. It’s September 1st as I write this, my first day back watching television after a month long hiatus from it. I’m laying back with my head on a pillow, my legs covered by an antique linen blanket. On the acrylic coffee table there are 3 white ceramic candleholders with tea lights flickering in them. To my right on the couch are 3 television remotes. To my left, a bag of chips and
half a pint, a quarter of a pint, an empty jar of London Fog flavoured ice cream from Foundry Ice cream with a spoon sticking out of it.
I am ready. I am set up. I am not watching television. I repeat … the television is not on.
For 31 days I’ve been looking forward to watching television. I haven’t looked forward to something this much since I finally got that third nipple removed. Just kidding. It’s still there. Just kidding. Never had one.
I didn’t even think about turning the television on until around 9:00 at night. I was busy canning tomatoes and peaches all day and I really wanted my first television experience in a month to be EPIC. A movie. A great series. A weatherman on CNN hanging sideways off a tree as a hurricane hits land throwing an octopus over his head. Something like that.
I had decided weeks ago that I was going to watch the documentary Amy, about Amy Winehouse and what a train wreck she was because of mishandling and misguidance. I love Amy Winehouse and I love documentaries so this was a perfect pick. But it turns out that movie isn’t out yet so I couldn’t watch the one thing I’ve been looking forward to. No problem. I’d watch Trainwreck with Amy Schumer instead. It’s not out yet. Straight Outta Compton! Not out yet. I KNOW! I’ll watch the last 3 episodes of The Mindy Project that I haven’t finished yet!!! Except I had finished them. CNN had some guy I’ve never heard of on, I’m completely bored by HGTV and I couldn’t bring myself to let Entourage: The Movie be the first thing I watched after a month of not watching television. So I gave up.
After 10 or 15 minutes of clicking, scrolling, and searching I thought …. this is stupid. This is why I went on a television hiatus to begin with. Because I spent half the day half paying attention to shows I didn’t care about and half the night flipping around looking for something I wanted to watch. So I turned the television off and stared at my socks for a while. Then I ate the ice cream. And now I’m writing this post.
It’s not that I’m over television. AT ALL. So get that ridiculous idea right out of your head immediately. I think it was just sort of anti-climactic. I got too worked up over it, put too much pressure on myself to be entertained and just got overwhelmed. Or I actually became Amish. Can that happen? Like you stop doing normal, modern things and suddenly you’re Amish? Because if that’s possible it may have happened to me. I did spend the day canning tomatoes and peaches. And yesterday I tried to milk my cat. Oh no. I think I caught Amish.
Which could very well explain why I am not watching television tonight but instead, am listening to a radio show.
Radio. Radio is what got me through the past month. The first radio thing that got me through the month was Chicago Public Radio’s This American Life. It’s what I’m listening to right now. So I’m not totally Amish. More Mennonite really. In fact This American Life was so instrumental in entertaining me whenever I needed it to last month, that by the middle of the month I donated money to them.
The other radio that got me through my month of no television was a local radio station. Boom 97.3 . I had that radio station on from morning until night. And I got WAY more enjoyment minute for minute out of listening to it than most television shows I watch. (As long as you don’t count The Mindy Project, House of Cards, Deadwood, Dexter, Breaking Bad, Transparent, Downton Abbey, Call the Midwife, Nurse Jackie, Shameless, Arrested Development, The Sopranos, Moone Boy, 4 or 5 episodes of Danger Bay, The Wire, Empire, the first season of Prison Break, Mad Men, um …. and a few more) It’s the best music from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s which sounds really dorky but you can hear The Jackson 5, The Smiths, then Blind Melon within a half an hour. IT’S GREAT. It’s enough to turn an Amish woman English.
Other than those two things nothing else really changed around here. Well that’s not true. I worked longer because without television I had no reason to sit and relax. If I tried to read or listen to a radio show at night it went something like this … “Opens book … head nods … drools on rug“. “Turns on radio show … head nods … drools on cat“.
So that seemed like a waste. I also went to bed much earlier than I normally do. Partly out of boredom, partly because I was so tired from doing stuff for 17 hours straight.
I’m going to try to watch television again tonight. Once I get the buggy shined up and the quilt made I’m sure I’ll be ready for a sit down.
Have a good weekend!