HEY! I bet you’re wondering what’s going on here aren’t you? Yeah. Me too. You’ve already read this post you’re thinking. Yeah! Me too. I was screwing around with the program that sends out my emails on the weekend and apparently I’ve done something. Something very wrong, lol.
I’ve been screwing around with it for about a week now actually which is why I sent a screwy email last week. Sorry about all of this.
But now that I have you here and we’ve all watched the Oscars, what did you think? I spent the day cleaning up outside and therefore had more fresh air than I’ve had in the entire winter and by the time the Oscars rolled around my eyes were rolling around in my head.
I managed to pull it together though at least for the sake of the food. Oscar night is and always will be appetizer night. It’s also drag the Oscar Statuettes out of the basement night and ponder why I watch the stupid Oscars night.
So I gathered up my food items. My appetizers were very diverse. #oscarssowhite In fact they were so diverse and incompatible that any normal human would have wondered when I had the iron stomach inserted. I started off with a classic; a small shrimp cocktail. From there I gathered everything onto a platter including cheese and crackers, polish sausage, vegetables and dip, antojitos with sour cream, chips, dip, chocolate/peanut butter easter eggs and a single serve dill pickle in a can.
Hand to heart I am not, nor have I ever been pregnant.
The evening started the way it always does with a call to my mother scream/crying over the dress atrocities. I know, it’s at this exact point that a lot of you get enraged because who am I to judge? And it’s about the movies anyway!
Who am I to judge? I am ME, someone who knows that just being beautiful doesn’t mean you can pull off the Easter Bunny look. I’m lookin’ at you Heidi Klum. Also, it’s not only about the movies otherwise there wouldn’t be 2 televised hours of stars rolling out of limos and having their boobs adjusted by stylists not quite off camera.
I wasn’t wowed by many of the dresses or the entire show really. In fact when my neighbour texted me at 10:30 asking if she could come over I said sure, then made her sit through my entire toilet paper experiment IN REAL LIFE. Leaving the room where the television is, to go play with toilet paper is rarely the sign of a highly engaging broadcast.
But still. I watched.
But this little blurb is really just to say I’m sorry for the erroneous email you just received. I’m doing my best to get it all straightened out and I really, REALLY want to because Wednesday’s post is one of my favourites in a long time.
It’s an Easter decoration that doesn’t make me want to puke.
Of course we’ve already established I have an iron stomach.
Wanna have more fun than you ever thought possible watching The Oscars this year? Watch Inside Out instead. Just kidding. Kind of. Inside Out was a GREAT movie.
No, no, no if you want to have fun this Oscar night make a BOAT load of delicious appetizers and print out some official Oscar ballots! (I just happen to have appetizer recipes and an Oscar ballot download I designed for you later in this post) As you probably know, everything in life is infinitely more fun when you turn it into a competition. Can’t get the kids to clean up their rooms? Make it a competition. Can’t get your mother to finish knitting that sweater? Make it a competition. Can’t get the husband to lose those 10 pounds, eat healthier, exercise more, watch less television, watch more television, pay more attention to you, clean out the gutters, take up a hobby, leave you alone, look more like the President of Mexico? Make it a competition.
This is the President of Mexico by the way. He’s married, had multiple love children while with his first wife, has vague criminal ties and enjoys listening to ABBA. So he’s handsome and interesting. So instead of just sitting around half falling asleep during the Oscars because nobody is drunk and entertaining like they are during the Golden Globes or the Screen Actor’s Guild Awards, turn the Oscars into a competition. Sure you could make it a drinking competition by chugging every time someone’s speech is uncomfortably long or someone’s dress makes you cry but we’d all be drunk before the end of the pre-show that way.
So. Print out some ballots and hand them out to friends and family. They don’t even have to be in the same room with you, it’s just as fun if they’re across the city or even the country. I spend half of Oscar night on the phone with my mother guessing which designer designed which dress. We of course also offer very important opinions on the dresses, which are often very opposite opinions. My mother doesn’t watch the movies so we can’t talk about performances which leaves dresses as the number one topic of discussion. Before the evening begins determine a prize. Because if there isn’t a prize it isn’t a competition. Here are some prize ideas:
- Everyone put $5 into the pot and whoever scores the highest at the end of the night gets it all.
- Nevermind. There are no other prize ideas. Nothing beats cash.
Oscar night is a big deal around here. Every year at this time I smash watching as many nominated movies into my evenings as possible, drag out the life sized Golden Statuettes and start making appetizers. If you want to make YOUR Oscar night more fun, print out Your 2016 Oscar Ballot. So we have an official Oscar Ballot, a little competition … now all we need is some food to make Sunday night even more fun.
Here’s a list of some great appetizer ideas for the big night.
APPETIZER IDEAS FOR OSCAR NIGHT
I haven’t decided which I’ll be doing exactly but I know antojitos will be on the table. They always are. I also have a bag of these jalapeño poppers already in the freezer, ready to go. I had a whole mess of jalepeño peppers to pick in the fall so I pickled a few jars and turned the rest into the famous 38 calorie Jalapeño Popper.
I might just do those two with the Guacamole and a bunch of vegetables for dipping. As with most occasions it’s the food that makes it most fun.
Well, the food and the prospect of swindling your much loved friends and family out of some cash.
Have a good weekend!