At some point today, I'm not sure when, my mortgage will be completely paid off. Yay! I think. I'm actually not sure what to do now.
This house was not paid off with a pot of gold.
Cue the singing angels, and unicorns sliding down a rainbow - my house is paid off. At least at some point today it will be, I just don't know when. My plan is to stay at my computer and constantly refresh my browser until I see that the final payment has been made.
AND THEN ....... !!!!
I don't know.
I guess I could have a glass of champagne or burn my mortgage agreement in the fireplace. That's the sort of thing they do in movies but if the payment goes through at 9 a.m. it seems a bit silly to start drinking champagne unless I'm also wearing a feather trimmed organza house robe with matching slippers. And I don't own any of those things including the bottle of champagne so I guess I'll just keep a glass of ice water and an Alka Seltzer handy.
I'm toying with the idea of making up a big sign like this to put on the front lawn.
But that's a lot of effort. I mean it took too much time just to Photoshop the sign in this picture let alone make a real one. That's time that could be be spent deciding on what to do with all my extra money every month. Purchase a castle? Acquire a small country? Buy only organic?
I have to tell you. I thought paying off my mortgage was going to be a lot more exciting. I realize I'm part of the problem what with not having a bottle of champagne at the ready, but it's weirdly anticlimactic. Like trying sushi for the first time.
But paying off my mortgage doesn't mean I'm going to have mountains of money to blow. I'm just going to have a mediocre amount of money to blow.
Like maybe I could rent a dancing monkey for a week every month. Or start using premium gasoline in my car.
Or, if I want to be extremely practical and smart, every month I could invest the exact same amount of money I spent on my mortgage. Which of course is exactly what I'll do because I am no fun.
Seriously. Zero fun. I get a lot of people comment or email me saying they wish we were friends because we'd have so much fun together. No we wouldn't. You'd have fun and I'd be wishing you'd go home so I could get back to chopping wood and diagnosing my cat's skin condition.
Now if I WERE a fun kind of person I'd allow myself to live a little. Maybe buy a couple of things in my first few mortgage-free months. Things I want but am too cheap to buy. Which is stupid because they're all things I'd not only use, but probably use for a lifetime.
Like a KoMo flour mill.
Or a Dyson hairdryer.
Or 42 of these hand squirrel puppets.
I think we all know what I'd get the most use out of. I mean, as so many of us do, I already have a finger puppet stage built soooo.
The other way I could go is to finally hire someone to work for me part time. That's a kind of investment. But everyone knows that's not as much fun as playing out West Side Story with an all squirrel cast.
I suppose I don't have to decide right away. I mean it's not like they're going to suddenly stop making squirrel puppets. They'll be there next month if I decide to become fun Karen.
For now my extra money is going to stay in the bank safe and sound before I find out Amazon also carries sloth finger puppets.
Have a good weekend. I'll be here constantly refreshing my computer screen.
PegB
Congratulations. When I bought my first house, my dad said, you’re an adult now; then there was this huge sigh! I reslly think you should buy to KOMO Flour Mill as a good faith purchase. It will come in handy when you harvest that wheat.
Barb
Good for you! It may "hit" you when next month rolls around and you don't have that payment to make anymore. Delayed reaction, so you still have time to get that champagne for some breakfast celebration mimosas?
Jennie Concannon
That is Awesome Karen - You could always adopt one of my grown kids. I am sure your extra money would disappear quickly. Our middle son and his wife are expecting their first child, which means I will be investing in everything that you could possibly buy for your first grandchild.
Jody
No, no, no - don't burn the mortgage agreement. But I think you know that..
Congrats.
JodyG
No, no, no - don't burn the mortgage agreement. But I think you know that. Congrats.
Jan Johnson
Hey, these potato chips are going to get stale if I can't send them to your P.O. Box!? Jan
Leslie Barnard
Big congrats!! Frankly, the puppet thing sounds a bit squirrelly to me...
Go. On. Vacation!
Jane C.
Don't waste time worrying about what to do with all that extra money. Something always happens to suck it up. Not long after I paid off my mortgage, the waterline to my house, which was located underneath the basement floor, broke and flooded the basement. Between the plumbers and the backhoe and operator, the equivalent of several mortgage payments disappeared. I came home to find they had dug right through a flower bed.
Vikki
Congratulations! Release ALL the doves and cue heavenly music! You say you're 0% fun--I say you're 100% Smart!
Idaho Girl
I'm thinking you don't really need financial advice, since you were savvy enough to get that mortgage paid off, so I'll just say congratulations!!
karen tomlinson
Congratulations!
And I have to say the dyson hairdryer is the best quilty pleasure I ever purchased. Worth every ridiculous cent!
Benjamin
It's going to be a rainbows and unicorns kind of day !! Congrats...
cussot
My sister-in-law is in love with her Fidibus. She calls it that. "Fidibus and I are making buns ... Time for Fidibus to make the pizza", etc. And she probably mortgaged the house to buy it.
Congratulations!
Betty
Karen, I was waiting until the end to be sure I didn't repeat advice from someone else. Congrats on the accomplishment! - truly is a good feeling isn't it?
ONE thing to consider is to be sure you still have a line of credit on the house - or purchase title insurance. That way some evil person can't impersonate you, and fraudulently put another mortgage on your home right under your nose!.....look it up,...it can happen in today's world.
judy
It's obvious to me that you must come visit all of us,your faithful followers. Purchase an old school bus,demonstrate converting it into a conveyance worthy of your talent, rent the paid for palace to a person worthy of its loveliness and set forth to meet us.each and every one. Possibly rent a stadium to accommodate those of us who live near one another.
This generates a NEW blog. Bussing with Bertelson? That needs work.... Anyhoo just a thought,see you soon in Virginia.......
Janet
Always one to be practical, I advise you to ensure you discharge your mortgage. My 83 year old mother-in-law, who used to be in real estate, recently sold her cottage. Her real estate agent advised her that she had committed fraud by stating in the listing that there were no liens on the property. She informed my mother-in-law that there was still a mortgage registered on it. My mom-in-law said "Oh that thing was paid off years ago!". Go figure. Didn't matter. Still needed to be discharged and the vendors who took back her mortgage were now deceased. Somehow, by the grace of God, she found a paper that stated she had completed payment and paid a lawyer to discharge the mortgage. All ended well. I don't want to hear you asking for bail money because you tried to sell your house and told everyone that the mortgage was all paid off only to find out they didn't believe you :)
Mary W
Congrats - I'm celebrating for you as I just got one of the last squirrel puppets. It will be in our annual Pickle Prize at Christmas. Can't wait to see their faces. You made me happy today! Thanks and what a grand feeling - to wonder what you could do with the extra money. Keep that feeling going as long as you can and something really special will come your way. I read that in a fortune cookie.
Erica
I'm so excited for you!!! That is my ultimate goal!
Marilyn Meagher
Good for you ! It is a nice feeling ! Try to loosen up a little and enjoy a month before you start investing ..it won’t hurt. Seriously think
About going to Newfoundland if you haven’t been..
Darla
Congratulations! Buy a cheap fix-er upper and fix it up and flip it. Then we all can enjoy a new series of blogs of your adventures!