I Want a Goat.

I want a goat.


Now, I realize that I can’t have one, but I’d still like to list the reasons I think it’s important for me to have a goat.

1. Because I really, really, really want one.

2. The Goat would keep the chickens company when I’m away.

3.  Goat’s are cute. When you stand by something cute you automatically look cuter and more likeable.  In Denmark,  less attractive girls always bring goats to bars with them.  It’s called Goat Cuteing.  It’s been going on in Scandinavian countries for the better part of this century.

4.  Having goats will make me exactly like The Fabulous Beekman Boys. Only I won’t be a boy and I won’t be gay.  But I will like boys.  And if liking boys makes me gay then I’m gay all day.

5. I could name the goat Clementine.

6.  I could make goat’s cheese with my own goat.  I would make her an apron and we’d spend a lot of time talking over coffee in the kitchen while we made our cheese.

7.  I would have the most exotic pet on my street if you don’t count the lady up the street with the well groomed moustache.

8.  Goat’s look funny when you put a hat on them.

9.  I could get one of those goats that grows a beard and dress it up as Abraham Lincoln for Halloween. (see above reference to hats)

10.  It’s important for me to have a goat because taking care of it will prepare me for taking care of a baby.  Not my baby of course. If I were to have a baby at my age it would come out looking like E.T.

Which, come to think of it … is almost as cute as a goat.


  1. Jrn says:

    This is the one I love. The sweaters make me giggle, too. : http://m.wimp.com/goatsfollow/. For mobile users

    Or http://www.wimp.com/goatsfollow/ for non-mobile

    And looking at te rices for goat cheese, wow!

    And they give free massages too: http://m.wimp.com/babygoats/

  2. Manisha says:

    Clementine! I can’t think of a more perfect name for a cute little goat. Please go out and get one right now!

  3. Jamie says:

    My son put goats on his Christmas list, so my mom got him 2 dwarf Nigerian goats. We weren’t too sure about the whole idea at first but those two are about the darn cutest things EVER! He named them Stella and Luna. We love them and they are only about 18″ tall, you could TOTALLY hide one in the back yard! :)

  4. Kimberly says:

    We had a couple goats when we were growing up. Cute as they were, they ate EVERYTHING….the veggie garden, dog food. They also liked to dance on the hood of the car. Just a heads up…

  5. Pamela Pruitt says:

    Goats are herd animals and do not do well singly. If you want a goat, your really need several. :-)


  6. Carolyn says:

    Of course! My sentiments exactly! Except the bearded lady up the street is a sulky old hag named Jan!

  7. Sandra says:

    My cousin cured her goat wanting by getting “shares” of a goat. Her “shares” equal the number of time a week she is in charge of milking it. You keep your “share” of the goat milk & don’t have to house/maintain it! And yes, the home made goat cheese is yummy!!!

  8. Diane says:

    Hahahaha oh my goodness.

  9. mayr says:

    “Goat Cuteing.” My day is made.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    Hahaha, the lady with the well groomed mustache!

    I wish you could have a goat! I’d love to hear the stories about Clementine!

  11. RuthyJ says:

    “I could make goat’s cheese with my own goat” set off all kinds of alarm bells in my head, but I am happy know that you were not going to attempt to make cheese with the goat in the way I envisioned… *Smh at myself*

    I think by now you should realise that you need a new address. When you’re done remodelling, it may be time to put your fabulous work up for sale and find a community that has no aversion to an agrarian lifestlye…

  12. Kari says:

    My grandpa was a farmer. When I was a little girl, he decided he was going to get a goat and so he got a mama goat and her baby. He told me that the baby goat could be mine (even though I did nothing to take care of it, it was just something nice he was doing for me). I named my little goat Pierre. One day when I was over at the farm playing/petting Pierre, his mama decided to come at me, headbutting me and knocking me to the ground. That was pretty much the end of my goat days, LOL! They are so cute, though.

  13. Deb says:

    If Tillie can have one, so can you!


  14. Emily says:

    My sister had 4 goats… they help “mow” the grass to, and the trees, and trash and the garden hose :-)

  15. Miriam says:

    I want a goat too – mostly because I hate mowing the lawn. I think they use goats in the south to keep the kudzu in check. Maybe I can claim a kudzu infestation in my backyard and get special dispensation to have a goat. Bonus – I have three herding dogs who would keep themselves endlessly amused by moving the goat around the yard.

  16. Hilke says:

    A neighbour of my daughter has a house goat. It’s a pet like a dog or cat. Perhaps you could get a pet goat and keep it indoors like they do. LOL

  17. Ann says:

    I want a goatie also. Everytime I see a baby goat I fall in love. Deeply. Madly. Or a baby sheep. Head over heels in love.

    We have had a pig. And it was pretty cool. But we raised him for meat and when it was time to go, he went. And now we feast on him several times a week. But we are not doing another pig for awhile. We need to figure out how to do the enclosure for the pig run better.

    For now we are going to have to get our new farm animal fix with the runner ducks we are getting this week. They will work hard for their dinner. They eat more bugs than chickens and many say their eggs are the bet. But I love that once again I will have cute babies to admire.

    Oh, and we have 2 brand new baby bunnies. They are Harlequins so a multi-colored bunny. Right now, mom has them well covered in their nest box but we should be able to see them uncover themselves in the next week or so.

  18. Karen too says:

    I want a goat too. Petting a kid’s head is true bliss. I ask for a goat through World Vision or Plan for Christmas gifts each year. That way I get a goat but nothing nothing gets wrecked. LOL
    It’s a good thing your backyard was already in a magazine ’cause a goat will wreck “every. thing. you. have.”

  19. christine says:

    Goats look like the devil,go for a donkey.

  20. you nutter! thanks for the laugh.

  21. Jackie says:

    I want a goat too! Everyone says they’re more trouble than they’re worth. But they’re so cute! And useful too. I also just finished reading, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers, and it only makes me want them more.

  22. Angela says:

    Have you seen the screaming goat in the Taylor Swift video?


  23. Mel Bratz says:

    My husband’s mom has goats. In the four years we’ve been together (4, 5, something) she’s gone from two goats to maybe 15. Because first you need a pregnant goat, who has a baby, and then you wean it, and then you get to milk your goat for several months. What do you do with baby goat? If she’s female, lucky you, more milk is on the way. If it’s male, you have a cute freeloader who’s going to need his own pen eventually.

    I agree with the poster who mentioned the sunglasses incident. I was invited to pet one the goats, and she decided to trap my hand between her head and the wire-fence. It HURT like hell. They are wicked strong and the temperamental, stubborn stereotype is justified.

    Just enjoy the you-tube goats!

  24. Linda J Howes says:

    Um goats get into everything, they are good climbers, they need be be bred to produce milk to produce the cheese which produces more goats, they can also smell, (billy’s).
    However, not to quash your dreams, why not move to the country?
    Just a small acreage is all you need to do all you do now and more.
    Imagine, you could have chickens and goats, farm organically, keyhole, square foot, Hugelkulture, wild craft,…
    Become a vendor at a local Farmers’s Market. The country is calling you!
    (Don’t make a creepy sound when you read this.)

  25. Suanne says:

    Oh Karen….you sooooo need a little farm. Seriously! Think of all the fun you and the fella could have. He could run for miles and miles while you make goat cheese and spin wool. Oh, the blogs you could post! You should start looking soon. I mean, what would it hurt just to look….maybe just browse the “little farms for sale” section of the newspaper…do it Karen. You are a farm woman at heart!

  26. Darlene says:

    I want chickens first – think my condo association would notice??

  27. Jack says:

    And what do you call a goat with a beard???

    “Goatee”, of course!!!

  28. Elizabeth says:

    Cute yes, but don’t you think their eyes are a little creepy?

  29. Ashley says:

    A goat is one thing I’ve never found myself wanting. The prepper in me says I SHOULD want one, but impregnating them every 11 months, birthing, and then getting rid of the kid at some point is just far too much work to put into an animal. Plus they aren’t allowed in our city thank goodness.

  30. Kim says:

    Why buy the cow (substitute appropriately) when you can get the milk for free?

  31. Diana says:

    I have strong doubts, that danish girl bring goats to a bar…
    But we german girls wear Dirndels all the time 24h a day…hahaha
    The gay effekt seems legit!!!

  32. Susan says:

    Haha! I have said for ages that I wanted a goat. The chickens and a goat go good together. It would be really pushing the bylaw though wouldn’t it! My friend has goats. I should change that to had. She loved them forever and forever till they ate everything! Literally everything! One day she saw them on her shed eating the roof. Mine would start eating my chicken coop and then Stella and Jemima and the girls would be ‘exposed’ so to speak and then I would have to get rid of my chickens. So I don’t have a goat. But I still want one!

  33. Jenn Thompson says:

    I had a goat. Just remember there is no word in goat language for ‘no thanks, I’ve had enough to eat just now’. And if you raise them near dogs, they tend to think all dogs are just weird looking goats.

    But all of your reasons for goat-wanting are valid.

  34. Lin says:

    Hmmm they are cute but don’t they tend to eat anything and everything in site….oops there goes your vegetable garden!

  35. Pam'a says:

    Think of them like grandkids– Only fun because you get to give them back when they start driving you crazy.

  36. Diane says:

    You forgot it’s an automatic lawn mower and plant trimmer!

  37. Melissa says:

    I also really really want a goat. Except I’ve heard they are social animals and you can’t have just one.

    Imagine a whole herd of hat wearing goats!!!!

  38. Allison says:

    I hung out with a few goats last weekend at the Gentle Barn. They kinda freaked me out. They were very well loved and all but one liked us in particular and after petting it he got kinky and kept trying to nip. Maybe it was just that one goat but he was totally stalking us. He kept following my kid and trying to nip her fingers. Not our cup of tea. But maybe they aren’t all crazy like that.

  39. Kristen says:

    Ah, the sweet clatter of hooves across a wood deck while they race to get pellets. Such a sweet sound until they start yelling because you’ve put them back into the goat hotel.
    I’ve three little nigerian dwarf goats (no milk from these boys) that keep me entertained most of the time.
    Bottle feeding one of them makes me smile. He’s so spoiled and darn cute. He’s not certain if he’s a dog, a cat, or one of the hens.

    I can’t wait until they shed next spring so I can collect what little cashmere they give me. If only I’d known about babydoll sheep before we found the little goats…..

    • Linda S says:

      What about babydoll sheep, Kristen??

      • Kristen says:

        Babydoll sheep are so sweet and small and mowers for our backyard. My daughter found them after we got our three goats and oh my, they plucked our fiber loving hearts.

        Their fiber is considered cashmere and my fingers itch to get a hold of some to spin.

        We might put in another spot for the sheep since they can’t room with the goats (cooper bad for sheep, needed for goats).

        If I had my way….two goats would go, bottle baby would stay (he really doesn’t know he’s a goat), and I’d get two babydoll sheep, but the goat needs another goat since they can’t be alone.

        Alas, that’s not how it will play out. ;)

  40. Kate Riley says:

    Oh I know, ain’t nothin’ cuter than a goat. Which reminds me of the time my brother and his wife and three kids moved to the country and the first pet they bought was a goat. Six months later it was bloated and in need to be put down by the local vet. Sadly, their dreams of having a goat died. Literally. But I still want one myself too for all the reasons listed and have convinced myself I could care for a goat until it reaches granny status. Who can resist a great homemade goat cheese?

    • Karen says:

      LOL. I can’t believe you’re sullying my dream with a dead goat story. ~ karen!

      • cheryl seals says:

        Karen, just get the goat, i told my hubby that the goat would be cheaper then the new lawn tractor he wanted, i’m the frugal type! He said then we’d have to put up a fence, ok he got me there the frugal side ! What a kill joy !….get the goat ! cheryl

  41. Suzanne in Austin, Texas says:

    This video made me want one too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_EdJ-XkUA

  42. Sam Braun says:

    Goats are awesome! Home made goat cheese is more awesome. Damn it! We should be allowed goats. They are less of a public menace than a poorly groomed mustaches!

  43. Marti says:

    Come out of the closet, move to the SE United States and start walking around with a toothpick between your two front teeth. Sheesh! What next? A pig? Are you trying to tick off the neighbors so they report Cuddles and Cheez Whiz?

  44. Ella says:

    After I got chickens, some naysayers said, “Just wait, you’ll want a goat next.” They’re right!

  45. Alisha says:

    All that being said, I think you would enjoy the chicken clucking goat video and a video of a goat that doesn’t particularly like all four hooves on the ground.

    Seriously, if you do nothing else today, watch these. They’ll make every one of you smile.

  46. Alisha says:

    I’m so in love with goats. A friend of mine breeds pygmy goats and I always bypass her house and go straight to the goats. Gotta get in a good snuggle first. Speaking of snuggles though, I learned it’s a good idea to wear safety glasses or a helmet when snuggling baby goats. Picked one up, we had a moment and it got tired of me and flipped its little head. If I hadn’t been wearing sunglasses it would have broken my orbital bone. Something to think on – them goats like all 4 hooves on the ground.

  47. Alexandra says:


    Because this: http://youtu.be/CLtwszipVkc?t=48s

  48. Laura Watt says:

    We all need a goat! I especially like the fainting variety: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fainting_goat

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