Instant Heartburn Relief.
Home Remedy.

I’ve had gut issues for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I stress about stuff or get tense, but my stomach thinks otherwise. My stomach thinks I stress out A LOT and it, being the extremely thoughtful organ that it is, gets angry for me. Angry like a nest of wasps made out of acid. So my stomach takes care of all the stress and anxiety I feel, without having to bother my pretty little head about it.

I’ll believe in my mind that I’m moving along fine in life not being bothered by a thing when my stomach will start to tighten up. Then I’ll feel a bit bloaty maybe. Then I’ll notice my stomach is tightening, hard as a rock and ballooning to approximately the same size as a Water Buffalo. You know how when a country thinks conditions are unsafe and it’s under attack, it’ll go into lockdown? My gut goes into lockdown. Like North Korea.

I used to think I had some type of rare and special disease but as it turns out ………….. I have gas. Gas in itself isn’t all that bad. Especially if you make your living by belching the alphabet (which I do not). It’s when you can’t get the hell rid of the gas. When it just builds up and builds up inside your tiny little locked down stomach. There’s no movement going on in my gut or intestines. You know how your stomach gurgles throughout the day? I have no gurgling. There are no gurgles. I’m gurgleless. I bend, I stretch, I move around. I even hop on the spot in an attempt to burp myself (which actually works). I do Yoga poses entitled “Wind Releaser” and twist back and forth trying to force some kind of movement out of my stomach and convince it that everything’s O.K. No one is attacking it. I have no stress, I’m not bothered. Unless you count how stressed and bothered I am by the excruciating pain in my methane filled gut.

And then I burp and everything is fine with the world.

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The other thing I get the odd time, which is equally excruciating, is heartburn. I don’t get it a lot, maybe 2 or 3 times a year but it’s always when I’m sleeping and it always wakes me up wondering what the hell is going on, and did why did I eat fire before bed?

There is one and only one way to get rid of heartburn instantly. I know the Internet will tell you various home remedies work but I can tell you they do not. At least not on my overprotective, angry, North Korean stomach.

Want to know what this miracle cure is?

 

heartburn-cure

 

Yes. A teaspoon of mustard. Regular old, Heinz or French’s mustard. Eat it. If it bothers you imagine there’s an Ikea hotdog underneath it. The first time I did this I remember almost gagging. The hotdog thing helped me out a lot. Now I kindda enjoy my teaspoon of mustard. I’ve heard of and tried all of the other tricks. Salty water, soda water, cider vinegar, Gaviscon, Tums …. all of it. And the only thing that has ever, actually, truly worked … is mustard.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who knows about this as I’m sure the comment section in this post will soon attest to. I can’t absolutely and completely guarantee that this is going to work for you but I can tell you it’s worked for a lot of other people and definitely works for me when Kim Jong-un rears his ugly head (and weird haircut) in my gut.

A spoon full of sugar may make the medicine go down, but a spoon full of mustard can destroy a dictator.

Have a good weekend!

 

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113 Comments

  1. Kasia says:

    I used to get heartburn quite regulary, wake me up in the middle of the night, nothing worked, etc. etc.
    Then, I had a REALLY bad episode, I was crying, moaning, hunched over, and begged my husband to take me to the ER. He did. I had gall stones. They were big enough that they couldnt be passed through the duct and would block it, causing this intense pain. The pain radiates in your chest, feeling like heartburn, but it’s not. I had my gallbladder removed two days later, and I haven’t had heartburn in years.

    So for those of you that mention having really really bad episodes like this, maybe it is actually a gall stone issue, and not heartburn at all. Worth looking into anyway.

  2. Oh if this works for me you are a life saver. This is something that I have never heard of, but will be giving a go for sure. I suffer terrible heartburn and reflux on a regular basis, something that gives me a lot of discomfort and pain. Here is to hoping that mustard works for me.

  3. A gozillion years ago I had heartburn/pain so bad I walked stooped like a 90-yr. old looking for a penny on the sidewalk. All. The. Time.

    It got so bad the only ‘food’ I could eat was a milkshake. Although the milkshake diet sounds awesome, and I did in fact lose weight, turns out you really can’t live on milkshakes. Sigh.

    So, I finally cratered and went to the doctor for the test where you drink this vile, thick, white shit – and you have to drink the WHOLE thing, but I didn’t because halfway through I nearly puked it all up so they figured half was better than none and proceeded – then they strapped me to this table that went up and down and over and around and they watched my stomach on a fluoroscope as I rode the roller coaster.

    Turns out my sphincter (stomach sphincter, that is) doesn’t close all the way. This means that when I eat it’s like dropping a rock into a vat of acid and standing there as it splashes back up into your face – technically, esophagus – eventually eroding holes in the parts of your body that are not supposed to have acid splashing around on them. That, in turn, can lead to cancer. Since that didn’t sound like fun I started taking Prilosec every day. That was almost 20 yrs ago now, and I never have heartburn…unless I overstuff my gut..like on Thanksgiving. I tell myself every time that I won’t do it again, but do I listen to me? Nooooooooooooooooo…..sigh……

  4. Rondee Blessing says:

    A shot of pickle juice will do the trick every time which might be easier to stomach then mustard….just sayin’.

  5. Nancy S in Winnipeg says:

    I’m allergic to mustard – and all the vegetables in that plant family.
    I wish I could eat cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, rutabagas, and mustard again. I used to love it.

  6. Heather (mtl) says:

    How convenient! I sat down to yet another episode of that dreaded ‘I’ll be up all night’ burn, just as I started reading your blog. Well, to the mustard I went. That was nearly 30 mins ago and yes, I do feel better. I’m still sitting as I was (I used to have to sit upright or walk and neither work for my sleep patterns).
    The reflux started late last summer and seemed better with pantoprazole. Until a couple of days before Xmas that is, when it backfired and the symptoms worsened. I stopped everything partly out of desperation, partly because I got a rash daily. Go figure. Then the lungs felt like they were closing, as in not enough oxygen was getting in (was given oxygen during a colonoscopy and not only breathed better, but the tingling in the legs went away-yay!). Was told all this reflux & lung issue had to do with a terribly inflamed sinus. After countless nosebleeds (one was 15 hrs long!) I don’t even want to bend down to pet the cat.
    However, my garden is finally producing tomatoes (I’ll roast them for later) and yummy beets (will do the same). With reflux/gas and GERD, one has no appetite, which I think probably makes the situation worse. Drinking a big glass of water seems to aid some…. if I continue to stay upright.
    Thanks for your helpful posts and thanks, too to your oh so helpful readers!
    PS: I know I can talk up a storm, but I don’t think I’ve ever written ‘The Great Novel’ before!

  7. Kim from Milwaukee says:

    Mustard is high in magnesium which keeps leg cramps away, helps you sleep, and is probably what is calming your heartburn.

    If you make a magnesium ‘oil’ with magnesium flakes and water, spray it on your skin before bed, you should be able to get enough to keep the issues from occurring again.

    By the way, any kind of pop is going to deplete your body of essential minerals, like calcium and magnesium. Just saying. And the aspartame is horrible for you as well….

    • Karen says:

      Funny story for you … I don’t believe aspartame is bad for you. Nutritionists and the Internet seem to think it is but doctors and The American Cancer society do not. Also I don’t mind a spoon full of mustard so I’m gonna stick with that, lol. (Magnesium is the one vitamin in the world that I take … for migraines). ~ karen!

  8. Vanessa says:

    I swear by baking soda in water. It even suggests taking it for heartburn right on the box! It has worked for me every time. I have even taken it when I feel overly full to try to get ahead of heartburn and just release pressure. It always works. But there have been times I’ve been out and couldn’t get my hands on baking soda, mustard is easier to come by. I’ll give it a try.

  9. Pam says:

    Okay…. I tried the mustard trick you Mamasan of the North Korean Gastric Gambit! It’s like someone told my dad about wearing a copper bracelet; I can’t say it works, I can’t say it doesn’t work, but it works for me. So far. Last night I screwed up my nose, ignored the imaginary Kosher hotdog on the counter, and gulped a teaspoon of the stuff. Didn’t think it would work, at first, because I was getting that mustardy burn along with the heartburn but that only lasted a short time. Not being sure it wasn’t a fluke, and having another bout of heartburn mid-morning today, I tried it again. I maaaaaay not have gotten a full dose this time (do those plastic picnic spoons really count as a teaspoon?) because it didn’t comPLETEly go away, but it sure did reduce pretty fast. So, guess this will be my new go-to gastric soother (ignoring that imaginary hotdog, Kosher or not, in the mean time).

  10. Pati Gulat says:

    I have terrible heartburn almost every day and THIS MUSTARD THING WORKS !!!!! I am so happy !! I finally have gotten a full night’s sleep without waking up in the middle of the nite to choke down two Tums and a Ranitidine ! Girlfriend, I could hug you til your ribs bleed ! Only I live in Louisiana and its not real feasible. Thanks again for doing all that 2 am research….

    • Karen says:

      “Girlfriend, I could hug you til your ribs bleed !” Well that doesn’t sound like something a good Christian would do. It sounds like something I would do, lol. I’m glad it worked for you Pati! I’ve had a lot of people say they’ve tried it since I wrote this post and so far it’s worked for everyone. It really does sound like the sort of dumb thing you read on the Internet that wouldn’t work at all but … IT WORKS. Sleep well. 😉 ~ karen!

  11. Christina says:

    Wow, I’ll definitely try this next time…beer was the only thing that ever worked for me, but I can’t have gluten anymore. 🙁

    I had the exploding stomach DAILY for years, and then learned I was allergic to leafy (and other) greens. Stupid lettuce.

  12. Aurora Clarke says:

    Gas, Bloating, Heartburn, indigestion are all the result of food allergies or food intolerance. For me it was Wheat and Dairy! Blissful gut now for 3 years 🙂
    Do get tested Karen

  13. Joy says:

    I’m a little late to this conversation, but wanted to add my two cents. I’ve had serious intestinal/etc issues the past year and went to numerous traditional doctors before ending up with a chiropractor who also did “nutrition response testing” (I’ve actually never been to her for chiropractic care, only nutrition). It looks like voo-doo and works like magic. If you can find someone who does nutrition response testing, I’d highly recommend it. After a year of killing my thyroid, going through a miscarriage, mono, pneumonia, laryngitis, bronchitis, and the flu (twice), I’ve finally started to find health. I had my first ‘normal’ blood test results in over a year! I can sleep! I don’t have heartburn anymore! 🙂 I appreciate that this doctor doesn’t just mask or attack symptoms (like heartburn ‘remedies’ that don’t actually fix the core issue), she determines the core cause and treats that (and once that is fixed, the symptoms go away). It’s a fantastic way of approaching medicine and, like I said, I’ve personally seen great results.

  14. Bethany says:

    Hi Karen!

    I just wanted to thank you. You blew my mind! I read this post and tried it out when I got home from work. You see I’m 7 months pregnant and along with being pregnant comes heartburn. Your mustard trick is a life saver. I have posted about it on a bunch of mommy boards and to all my Facebooks friends. I also now carry mustard packet in my purse. Yes I steal them from various places but it’s for a good cause! Thank you so much for sharing this tip!

    P.S. Love the new site!

  15. Sabrina says:

    Omg! This mustard thing worked for my heartburn quicker than any remedy I’ve tried. Thanks so much. I was at work suffering with horrible heartburn and constant spitting,it worked for the heartburn but not the annoying spitting.

  16. Old Man says:

    Whenever I think I’m having a heart attack, I drink a half teaspoon of baking soda (tastes like old refrigerator)in half a glass of water.
    If I instantly burp & feel better, I know it’s not my heart.

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