I’ve got nothin’ for ya.

I know it was only a couple of days ago that I professed my dunciness with regard to math, but even I can see this doesn’t add up.

4 days ago I brought my computer in to be fixed.  How long will it take, I asked.  1 day, they said.

Perfect. ‘Cause the last place I went to said it would take 3-5 days.

Did I mention that was 4 days ago?  And I still don’t have my computer?  Friday + Saturday + Sunday + Monday = 4 days.  Not 1 day.  Not even if you factor in the remote possibility of time travelling could that be considered 1 day.  No call, no explanation, no nothin’.

To be fair I must state that the gentleman who was fixing my computer says he tells people that if their computers are so important to them that they can’t be without them for a few days they should own 2 of them.

He’s saying this to someone who doesn’t even own a spare house key.

This got me to thinking.  This guy might be right.  I mean, I have 2 cats and THAT has worked out very well because last summer one of them had to stay overnight at the vet.  I was comforted to have the spare cat at home with me during those days.  But I found my spare cat on my front porch one day.  A new laptop would cost a couple grand.

But this guy must know what he’s talking about.  I mean, he owns a business and his shirt was buttoned up properly and everything so …

I decided I should give his theory some serious thought and started to look around to decide exactly what I couldn’t live without on a daily basis.  What I might need 2 of, as he so logically suggested.

My Macbook Pro.  Duh.  Obviously.  I’m writin’ the cheque as we speak.

My car.  It only makes sense to have a spare one of these.

My house is also very important to me and I have no idea what I’d do it IT were to go missing for a few days.  I should probably pick up another one.

My boyfriend is quite important to me as well.  If I plan on getting a spare one it’s gonna cost a lot in terms of extra Christmas and Birthday presents.

My nose.  I had a sinus infection a year ago and I couldn’t smell a thing for months.  Dude was right.  If I had only picked up a spare nose the problems I encountered while making what may be the blandest batch of chili sauce in history would have been eliminated with one good sniff.  I’m starting to think this guy’s a genius.

My camera.  No camera, no pictures for the blog.  Which as you can see is pretty boring.  Totally need to get another camera in case mine goes on the blink.  Truth be told, the camera belongs to my boyfriend, so if I were smart, I’d make sure “New Boyfriend” has a camera as well.  Two birds, one stone and all that stuff.

My right elbow!  One relies on their right elbow wayyyy more than one would ever imagine.  Additional prosthetic elbow.  STAT!

Well that’s a good start to the list anyway.  I’m quickly writing this particular post on my boyfriend’s laptop by the way.  All the pictures for this week’s posts are on MY computer.  So if I want to make this post more compelling, with photos, like I normally do, I’m going to have to pick a random picture off of his hard drive.  And here we go …

What you are probably now shielding your eyes from, is one of 2 pictures my boyfriend has of me on his computer.  It is the more attractive of the two.  I think it goes without saying that I need my computer back.  Even more STAT than I need a prosthetic right elbow.

I pray that by tomorrow everything will be back to normal.  For obvious reasons.  For fear of having to post the even uglier photo.


  1. Alexandra says:

    Girl, what was on your head?!? Please do not tell me that you were using goggles as a headpiece…

  2. Shauna says:

    sweet onion goggles!! Do you have a back up pair? If not you could add that to the list 😀

  3. Crysta says:

    Not to sound too creeper-y, but are those your onion goggles? (I heart the genius of onion goggles.)

  4. Judith says:

    I share your angst.

  5. maggie says:

    Well Karen I never thought about spare stuff quite that way before.. The only problem is if I were to obtain a spare husband there maybe a spare wife out there who would obliterate me for taking her husband who by the way may be a spare that she picked up, therefore: some spare stuff just is not worth having. See what I mean?

  6. Ariel says:

    Onion goggles! YES!

    My husband makes endless fun of me when I put on my onion goggles – but good GRIEF they are so worth it. I will have to send him this link to prove that I am not the only one with this brilliant/harebrained idea.

    I probably need to pick up a second pair of onion goggles, based on the logic of your computer repair guy.

    • Karen says:

      Ariel ~ Really? REALLY? Of all the posts with all the pretty pictures I write, THIS is the one you’re going to send to someone!??! Oh dear. LOL. ~ karen

  7. Theresa says:

    Now that I have stopped laughing and wiped my eyes (there s something we need at least one of).When hubby presents me with impossibly absurd ideas – all of which revolve around home repair/renovation/real estate purchases or things I never would have thought let alone said- I respond your other wife must have agreed to that/said that/can deal with that- This imaginary other/ spare wife in a paralell universe saves me alot of aggravation.

  8. mimi says:

    See, your boyfriend has TWO photos of you, in case one goes missing!
    great, funny, funny post!

  9. Ros Wyatt says:

    You made me laugh so much! I am so glad that I have found your blog.

  10. Sue says:

    “picked a spare nose” BAHAHAHA!!

  11. Ellen says:

    I like the “spares” idea. you should check out Dollarama for a spare nose… I got my husband a whole package of spare body parts for Christmas, & I know there was a nose, as well as a liver, which he might well need, & a brain, which will certainly come in handy, as well as a few other bits. I’m surprized you missed them….
    Love your stuff Karen….

  12. Martha says:

    Can’t you just use normal swimming goggles instead of purchasing goggles specifically for onions?

    • Karen says:

      Martha – Those are swimming goggles! 😉 $1 from the Dollar Store. I also have an “official” pair of onion goggles that are labelled as such. Got ’em for Christmas this year. ~ karen

  13. elisa says:

    oh, i need onion goggles! my eyes hurt for hours after chopping one. i hope you get your ‘puter back soon x

  14. Pam says:

    I’ve been on vacation so missed your posts…. WOMAN! Get your boyfriend a new picture for is computer. What if you suddenly died (because of heart failure and you didn’t have a spare) and he needed a picture for the paper! Good grief. “Ms. Manners” surely would tsk at you.

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