Karen Answers: How’d Ya Get Those Abs?

Ask Karen Question:

Hiiiii Karen!

I thoroughly enjoy your blog. I am a die hard fan as of two hours ago. :D. My question is, referencing the pic of you holding the fish, ummmmmmmmmm, can you do a posting on how to get rock n roll abs like yours? You could file it under everything else.

Just curious!
Thanks!

Laura Rae

Karen Answers:

Dear Laura,

Thanks for the question!  I actually get a lot of comments on that picture.  So in answer to your question here’s what you have to do to get abs like mine:

1. The first thing you have to do is get a 4 year old picture of yourself.

Cottage 2006

2. Then, fade the colours a bit and photoshop out any weird wrinkles on your forehead.  It’s hard not to have a wrinkled forehead whilst holding a Pike.  Besides if you have wrinkles on your forehead, people’s focus will be drawn away from your 4 year old rock n roll abs.    Decide this isn’t working and think of some other way to make the picture look better.

Cottage retouch #1

3. Convert everything over to black & white.  Everything looks better in black & white!  That makes the picture look all cool, like it’s from the olden days … as if I just plunged my fist into the water and pulled up a Pike!  You know, like in the olden days, before they had fishing rods.  But yet, had Tiffany’s necklaces.  Oh!  And make the picture smaller.  Smaller seems better for some reason.

Black & White

4. Then hand everything over to your web designer, in my case  the brilliant Courtney, who makes the picture even smaller making imperfections even HARDER to see.  She also  does some weirdo thing with the contrast to make it look even better.

And there you have it, Laura.  The secret to my rock n roll abs.

Plus I rode horses throughout most of my childhood and teens.  I think the muscles just kindda stuck with me ’cause lord knows … I don’t do anything anymore.  ‘Cept wield a hammer.  And a clever.  And the occasional stubborn jar of pickles.

Quite frankly, I keep asking my web designer how I can change this picture because it actually sort of mortifies me.  It’s a bit “look at me! look at me!” for my taste.

THIS is the “Ask Karen” I wanted to use.  It’s me in my trusty onion chopping goggles.  Got ’em at the Dollar Store and I never chop an onion without them.  I’m pretty.

Me in my Onion Chopping Goggles.