I'm Danish. I've always been Danish, I'll always be Danish, I look Danish, speak 4 Danish words and part of my general knowledge includes knowing that Viggo Mortensen and 1980's supermodel Helena Christensen are Danish. So. Clearly. Danish. The only problem is, as it turns out ... I'm Irish. IRISH.
In 2016 I got my mother and myself one of those DNA tests for Christmas to find out if we were Jewish. There's a long kept secret in our family and no one knows what it is. Based on a name change, some rather sketchy word of mouth rumours involving a mercantile, a whisper and a generations-ago cosmetic surgery, several of us thought this secret was that we were Jewish.
That's the sort of thing people used to have to keep secret in order to stay alive, so those kinds of secrets are taken quite seriously and they tend to stay secret long past the need for it.
So when I sent in my spit to be analyzed I was fully prepared and excited to embrace my new Jewessness. L'chaim! Most of my high school friends were Jewish so I know the customs, I've been to plenty of Shabbat dinners and have the whole back of throat "Ch" sound in Challah and Chanukah down pat.
Jewish. That's me! And Danish of course, but that's from my father's side and we all know he was 100% Danish, making me 50% Danish as evidenced in my ability to make Klejner, Danish Christmas cookies and my uncanny resemblance to It was the other 50% that we were all unsure about.
The 23andME test results came back and as soon as I checked whether or not I was likely to die from some rare and incurable disease (I'm not) I barely glanced at my ancestry other than to see if we were indeed Jewish. We were not. Booooo. I don't give a care, I'm still going to eat latkes. Then a few weeks ago for some reason I went back in and looked at some of the DNA results more closely.
The things they predicted about me based only on my DNA were impressive. They had no pictures, no history, no nothin', other than my dancing little chromosomes passed down from generation to generation.
For instance, I am more likely, according to my DNA, to be a sprinter rather than a distance runner. Pfttt. No kidding. I'm basically Hussein Bolt. Everybody knows that.
Here I am taking a much deserved break from watching someone else exercise.
Also, according to 23 & me:
I am likely to have blond hair.
I am likely to have blue eyes.
I am likely to have straighter than average hair.
I'm likely to have wet ear wax. ( Um. O.K. )
I am likely to consume more coffee than the average person. (3-4 cups a day?)
And ... I have an average sensitivity to the odour of sweat.
Allllll true.
If you're now clamouring to get a 23&Me spit kit I have an affiliate link.
I clicked on my circle of ancestry that tells you what percentage of you is from what country and ... I had to do a double take. According to the percentages ... I was ... I was Irish.
Or British of some sort. London or Manchester England most likely.
UPDATE: I just checked my results again in 2023 and I am still Irish. But now things look like they're leaning more into the England territory. I think.
It's entirely possible I'm not reading this thing right, but it's looking like I'm more British & Irish than anything else. Which is making me feel a bit off kilter.
What with me being Danish and all.
I never knew much about my maternal ancestry. When I was growing up whenever I asked my mother what nationality her side of the family was she'd always answer with "I don't know ... we're just Canadian. Now go play with your potato."
This gave me the slight hope that by "Canadian" she meant that we had a long ancestral history going back to the First Nations. Like maybe we were Micmac. Or Metis or Mohawk.
Which, wouldn't explain my love of Challah but would explain my love of beaded suede.
But according to my mother's side of DNA I wasn't First Nations, I was 29.3% British and Irish. This whole maternal Irish thing has since been confirmed by my Uncles Conor, Seamus and Padraig. You'd think one of them would have mentioned something about our being Irish it at one of our monthly Irish Stew and Soda bread dinners over the years.
Just kidding. Kind of. It has been confirmed through other more "ancestry interested" relatives that my mother's side of the family is indeed Irish. How she never knew that, I have no idea. Maybe she was thrown by the fact that none of us were born with Irish accents.
I wish I understood these DNA results a little more than I do, but from the look of it ... yeah ... Kiss me. I'm Irish? But maybe from London.
Since I'm relatively new to this whole Irish thing feel free to make any recommendations on this, my 7th St. Paddy's day as an Irish person. See? I've even learned that it's "St. Paddy's", not St. Patty's.
I'm basically the most Irish person ever born who for some reason has an above average command of cooking Danish Christmas cookies.
omg. this explains so much about my relationship with potatoes.
Paula
I love ancestry/DNA stuff! From my results, I found a second cousin and we have since been corresponding regularly and it is almost creepy how similar we are. Our grandmothers were sisters.
I was born in England and my maternal grandfather was Irish and my results didn't yield any surprises. My test was simply geographical, I did not do any health related queries.
Happy St. Patrick's Day to all my Irish cousins and that includes you, too Karen.
Ev Wilcox
I have wanted to be Scots since I read all the Outlander books (Re: Jaime!). My sister had her spit analyzed and we are Scots/Irish. Yay! Now I just need to go back in time and get to Jaime before Claire does! I knew the Irish connection before now, but I am choosing to focus on the Scots side. Do really really like Guinness though.... So Happy St. Patricks Day to you, Karen.
Making a corned beef dinner tomorrow-how 'bout you?
Barb
You just never know... Apparently you could have also discovered that there were some 'half' (shhhh don't tell anyone) siblings somewhere.
I read somewhere that the gift of DNA to a couple brought out some 'interesting' new family member and then a consequent divorce. Now imagine that?!
Gayle M
Well, Karen... As I see it, you can be very much Danish, if you choose. While there is no percentage specifically assigned as Danish, all that Scandinavian and Broadly Northwestern European adds up to over 48%. I guess on all those long cold Scandinavian nights there was a lot more than spooning going on across the entire Northwestern European front, co-mingling lots of squiggly Nguyen chromosomes! Broadly European does include some English and Irish, but is mostly comprised of fair haired light eyed Scandinavians.
BUT, don't let that stop you from being Irish! What better excuse for a party in March!
Gayle M
Darn spellchecker! Northwestern chromosomes!
whitequeen96
Oh wow, I was wondering where the Vietnamese (Nguyen) came into this!
Katie C.
My family had a similar result!
My mother and her siblings grew up thinking they were 50% Italian because their paternal grandparents came to America from Italy. However, my uncle recently did a DNA test and discovered that they are <0.1% Italian!
Mary W
What does "phasing" mean? It sounds like a funny notation and I laughed when I read it since it is on this blog, but have no clue what it really means. It might not be a funny tidbit added for grins but it worked that way. I am always proud to me a follower when I read your posts!
Linda from Illinois
I had one of those DNA test done through MyHeritage. I got a sheet with a good zillion different ethnic markers but I had to figure out my own pie chart. From my name we come from Germany but it still considered European. Thought we were 100% German, turns out we are not. I think everyone in the world is a Heinz 57, be what you want to be, enjoy what you want. It's all good anyway. Happy Saint Paddy's day !
Patsy Lortie
Oh Karen, some of the best people come from Ireland as my grandfather used to tell me. Likely you will live to be 100, drinking, etc, etc. etc...
So, Happy St. Paddy's Day from one Irishwoman (95%) to another. You must go to Ireland, it will solidify your roots, and bring you home!
The other 5% of my heritage is split between Welsh, British/Irish, and Swiss French.... Canadian!!
Raise a glass and celebrate! OR sing, 'kick up your heels' today!!
ronda
My Dad's side is northern German, with some Polish in there at some point, according to family lore. And Mom's side is northern English, with some Scots on the maternal side (at least I think so, based on Grandma's maiden name) and rumour has it the paternal side came to England with William the Conqueror. Now THAT would be interesting to see if it were true!
Chris White
I am proud to have "Heinz 57" ancestry. My ancestors were kicked out of all the best countries in Europe (we had an affinity for choosing the 'wrong' political party or the 'wrong' religion in times of conflict). Most of these folks landed in what would become the United States... and then got kicked out of there during the American Revolution. Such a long, proud tradition of picking the losing side - I now use this hereditary power to destroy NHL teams that I cheer for during the playoffs.
Katrina
OMG, this! LOL!
whitequeen96
I LOVE THIS! I've got a few politicians, etc. I'd pay you to cheer for!
Chris White
I'm happy to help. With great power comes great irresponsibility!
Gilly Bean
Bha hahahaha!! We must be related!!!
Katharyn Rouse
Appreciation of good Irish Whiskey and knowing to always let the head settle on a pint of Guiness, will take you a long way!
jaine kunst
I'm Irish and I remember my mother saying "pogue ma hoin" to my dad once. He said it was gaelic for "kiss my ass." That's all I've got .
SueB
So the Irish group the Pogues are the asses? I like that.
Also is Karen's 0.2% unassigned neanderthal? Some uncool people might feel that's a bit insulting but they live on, to a greater or lesser extent, in all of us.
Sheryl
Just frickin' hilarious, as usual.
Maggie Van Sickle
I feel for u Karen only having a potato to play with as a child but such is life now go put on your beaded Leather vest and have a piece of challah or some pickled herring as you make your Irish stew and soda bread. Happy St Paddy's day
marilyn meagher
I'm waiting for my results. I'm sure there will be a large percentage of Irish in me too!!
Leisa
If it makes you feel any better, Viggo was born in New York, so he's probably Irish too! 🙃
Jenny W
My Mom was always told by her Father that they were Scottish - End of story.
Then, years ago a relative published a book about her Family Tree, and it turns out she was Irish too. Apparently, it was not as cool to be Irish way back in "The Day", as it is now. Many Irish immigrants came over poor and starving and would take just about any job to feed their families, and were often looked down upon. So much so, that my Husband's Mother's Irish side, dropped the Mc from their SurName.
But they were scrappy, hard workers who carved good lives for themselves in North America, and their traditions and culture are now celebrated all over. Party-on, Cousin :)
SusanR
Actually, even in Ireland, the O, Mc and Mac were dropped for awhile and were out of fashion, then they got picked up again in later years. I just yesterday found that out in an online Webinar about Irish genealogy presented by a well-known genealogist in Dublin. Fascinating Webinar. So when searching Irish databases, she recommended search without the O, Mc and Mac as one of the searches done, as well as with, and to keep in mind it might have been dropped when searching things like church baptismal and marriage records images on Irish genealogy sites. Another fascinating tidbit was if you come across a civil birth record that shows the child born later than a baptismal record you also found, use the date on the baptismal record if the family is Roman Catholic. There was a fine for reporting births over 3 months after the fact, and Ireland being rural, sometimes it took longer to get to the registration district office to record the birth, so the parents would fudge the birth date for the civil record to avoid the fine for late reporting of a birth. The "especially Roman Catholic" was because they usually had the baby baptized as soon as possible after birth, so closer to the actual birth date.
Jules McShera
Top o' the mornin' to ya and happy Guinness day!
Thandi
Ooooo now you've put a bee in my bonnet. Which organisation did you get to test your DNA? I definitely have to do this.
Grammy
Sorry you're not Jewish, but at least now you know. At least you got a little from the Balkans, so there's that.
My husband and I are waiting for our ancestry DNA tests to be completed, and we're hoping for some interesting results. We both have many relatives who are obnoxious bigots, so we're hoping we find out we've got a bunch of stuff, like African, Arab, Asian, Mexican, Jewish, Native American, etc. so we can tell our siblings they need to do some re-thinking. It's highly likely we're both mostly English/Irish, but we'll be really disappointed if we don't come up with something more exotic.
Marie Anne
just want to say you're awesome :)
Lauren from Winnipeg
I agree!
Mary
I found out I was .1% West African. My other was upset when I posted it on facebook. I have no time for racists, I thought it was the coolest thing ever!