MasterChef Australia & the Internal Ham Toot

I used to spend a lot of time watching cooking shows. Not the kind on the Food Network … you don’t actually see a whole lot of cooking on the Food Network for some reason.  No, I’d watch PBS.  Classics like Julia Child, Jacque Pepin, the Galloping Gourmet and Lidia Bastianich.  THESE are the kind of cooking shows I like.  Where you are shown step by step  how to prepare an entire dish.  Possibly while intoxicated.

I got out of the habit of watching these shows on Sunday mornings a few years ago.  And I’d completely given up hope on learning anything from competition type cooking shows, until one day last summer when I got an email.

Shannon, a reader of mine, announced she had gone into hiding for 3 months because she was a contestant on MasterChef Australia.  So of course, I had to search it out on the Internet and watch it.



MasterChef Australia is easily the best cooking show I’ve ever seen.  In fact it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever watched, period.   It’s a high stakes competition show where contestants are mentored instead of screamed at and it features actual cooking lessons.  So, you do indeed learn something.

The show is so huge in Australia it airs every SINGLE night for months.  In 2010 the televised leadership debate for Prime Minister was rescheduled  because it was going to interfere with the MasterChef finale.

For season 3, the season I watched, their roster of special judges included everyone from Nigella Lawson to the Dalai Lama.   He giggled a lot.  He does that.

I killed myself looking for a way for you to legally watch the first episode of Masterchef Australia online, since most of you are off today.  However … I was unsuccessful.  Which never sits well with me.

All I have for you is the opening sequence of Season 3.  Which, for what it’s worth is more entertaining than most hour long shows.



There are various clips of the show on Youtube, but I didn’t want to put any of them up for fear of spoilers. I for one do NOT like spoilers. In fact, if I’m watching a movie I barely even want to know what it’s about.  I get antsy just knowing what form of entertainment I’m going to be engaging in.  Sit me on a couch, blindfold me and throw a book, television or CD at my head.  That’s how I roll.

Not a very Easter themed post I’m afraid, but it’s all I’ve got.

No, wait!  I also have a belly full of scalloped potatoes.  I’m not at all sure what ham and scalloped potatoes have to do with the baby Jesus, but it isn’t Easter dinner without them.

Did I ever tell you about the internal ham toots of 2002?  The fella had just eaten his first Easter dinner with our family and mili-seconds after we walked out the door he stopped, got a horrified look on his face and looked down at his belly.  I stood open mouthed, listening to an internal toot scream out of what seemed to be his belly button.  I don’t think the screen door had even slammed shut yet.  Had that internal toot happened a few seconds earlier it would have been the funniest thing ever to have happened at a family dinner.  Other than the time my sister’s fake fingernails caught on fire.

Hope you had a Happy Easter and a Matzo ball filled Passover.  Back to slightly less random posts tomorrow.


  1. Kristin says:

    Hey, am I first?? If so, yay me!
    My husband’s boss calls those “inverted farts.” lol.

  2. Andrea T says:

    Hahah, I do not think I have ever heard of those! I don’t get how it even happens.

  3. Mandy Y says:

    Yep….Masterchef definitely has a bit of a following over here ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Rose says:

    yup, Master Chef is a huuuuge deal here. The intro you posted is actually season 3, however season 2 is amazing as well. They also brought out the master chef cook books in two volumes that had the recipes the contestants made up every week, there were some real winners in there!

  5. Julie shinnick says:

    Not watching Masterchef here in Australia is akin to not drinking coffee…..just another thing to label me as some sort of ‘weirdo’…. glad you enjoyed it though! The Adelaide people always seem to win….probably due to the great restaurant culture and our proximity to the delights of the Barossa Valley (wine country)

  6. No bother re random posts, love them!
    I’m going to seek out Masterchef Oz, cos years ago I used to watch the UK version and loved it. A programme that has Nigella and Dalai Lama as judges should be great! Much better than “reality tv” where they really, really scream at you- can’t see entertainment in that (actually, I think it’s wrong to promote screaming at people as anyway acceptable behaviour).

  7. Deborah says:

    Hope you had a peep-filled Easter! Love watching cooking shows, I am a cooking show junky, any show, but I do have a great fondness for the wine-filled antics of Graham Kerr ~ HE made cooking shows fun to watch! I just finished the Top Chef Canada series and am NOT liking the new hostess (the brunette, Lisa somebody or other), just like I just finished watching a second go round last night of Canada’s Handyman Challenge and do NOT like the hostess there – YOU are the one that was the perfect hostess for that show, why’d you leave? With coming to your blog so late, I may have missed a posted reason…in any event, it was painful to watch her try and deliver stilted lines ~ blah! I hollered at the tv to ‘Bring Back Karen!’….hubs says ‘who?’, I said the tall, skinny blonde with the fabulous sense of humour! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Anj says:

      This just made me giggle.
      I will definitely agree on “the skinny blonde with the fabulous sense of humour”. I will add “with the ability to use Penis in a sentence without flinching”, and “with the stage presence to hold her own against overblown personalities like Mike Holmes” but “Tall”??? Karen you need to get back on TV, apparently the camera adds height!

  8. michelle says:

    what’s an internal toot? Explain please.

    • Karen says:

      Well Michelle – It’s exactly what it sounds like. There is a toot in your body, it just doesn’t make it out of your bum. So you hear the entire thing from inside your belly. An internal toot. ~ karen

      • michelle says:

        OHHHHH! THANKS FOR THE CLARIFICATION! DONT THINK IVE EVER HEARD ONE!Which is strange given my gassy nature!

  9. Marti says:

    Yeah, Karen, so exactly what was the point of this post? You seemed like you were building to say something about MasterChef Australia or possible Shannon (or how incredibly, utterly cool your regular readers are, right???) but then you switched gears to talk about how you apparently discovered the Handsome Tattooed One’s delicate constitution but kept him anyway.

    When you started out, where were you going? Did you get there? Did we go there, too? Sigh.

    • Crystal Lewis says:


      Are you sure you’re a fan of this site? I see your comments all the time and they’re often negative or you’re trying to point out an inaccuracy that doesn’t exist. Please stop being such a negative Nancy and enjoy the site like the rest of us.

      TAODS Biggest Fan,


  10. Karena says:

    You learn something new all the time! Sounds like something I might do, if that happens when you are trying not to fart!?

    Love Master Chef!! I wish I could watch the Australian version of the show!

    Art by Karena

  11. ev says:

    Have not seen this show and I don’t think it is available here in sunny Ohio (ha!). Is Shannon still competing? Did she win? If it is still ongoing, good luck to her! Peppy music, by the way!

  12. Barbie says:

    An internal toot would be welcomed in this house! We certainly have enough of the “other” kind floating around here! lol
    I’m going to have to seek out “MasterChef Australia” I LOVE me a good cooking show!

  13. Now I am PUMPED…that song…gets me every time. Now I want to sit around all day and watch the show. How do I do that now ?! I think it is time that we all move to Australia. They have good shows there. Just sayin.
    Happy Easter

  14. christine says:

    I didn’t know ham made you toot until last night after dinner on the trampoline.The kids proceeded to hang over the edge gagging!:)

  15. Tracie says:

    Okay, you sold me. My honey has the technology to acquire this show, which I look forward to watching….theres’s nothing as irritating as watching cooking shows for inspiration and getting nothing more than whisps of a recipe. And really, since when did “Chef” become synonomous with “Sir, yes sir?” Just saying…:)

  16. Kim says:

    Very intriguing title! You swept me in with the Masterchef part and I totally forgot about the ham toot part.Karen, you are a MasterStoryteller and I love that you refer to the fella as having ”toots” since he is such a delicate looking thing as you say! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Shirley says:

    Sorry this is off-topic, but for the past while I’ve been unable to see all the comments at the end of each post. Right now I can see only the first 2 of the 17 comments. Clicking on the “17 comments” link has no effect. I’ve been reading your blog for several months now — what has changed? I love your blog and I love the comments from your readers, and this is very frustrating!

    • Karen says:

      Shirley – Nothing has changed. I put up my posts at midnight every night. I approve all of the comments on this site, so until I approve them they don’t show up. Before I go to bed a few comments always come in and I get those approved. But during the night a bunch of comments come in which I don’t approve (because I’m sleeping) until morning. That’s all. ๐Ÿ™‚ ~ karen

      • Shirley says:

        Sooooo, no underhanded plot by another jealous blogger to keep me from seeing and enjoying all your dedicated followers’ comments. What a relief! Thanks for the reply and explanation.

  18. Kerri says:

    Oh gawd.. there’s like 4 billion episodes of that show! Anything with 4 billion episodes must be worth watching.. I’ll give it a shot. PS.. those fake nails are serious hazards. My gf had the same thing happen during the ice storm of ’98.. at least we could see while she was screaming.

  19. JamieK says:

    Agree with you on the Food Network. It’s gotten to be one big, tension filled, cooking contest. I cook for enjoyment, not competition. Cooking Channel started out like the old fashioned Food Network with chefs who actually taught you something. I think it is beginning to sway over to the “my cooking is better than yours” mentality. Very anxious to check out MasterChef Australia!

  20. Bedalia says:

    I LOVE the Dalai Lama’s giggle! Best giggle ever!

  21. Nicola Cunha says:

    Well, we discovered Masterchef Australie here in Montreal on the Casa (French) channel! A lot of it is dubbed and a lot is left as is. Just as it finished the new Top Chef Canada started and I can barely bring myself to watch TC. We love MA’s judges and how it’s all about learning as much as winning. Now they’re playing what look like an American version with Gordon Ramsay as a judge which I can’t watch cause he is so not like the Australian judges.
    And the Casa channel is not the American Mi Casa Spanish channel! ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. Nicole2 says:

    Internal toots. Love it. I imagine that’s how the Queen toots. Because Queens can’t toot externally. She has been trained from a very young age to toot internally. Although I think that at some point, something’s gotta give. You gotta let’ er rip.

    We had ham and scalloped potatoes too yesterday. And coleslaw and carrots and green beans. And meringue nests with banana gelato, raspberries and whipped cream. My picky mother-in-law said she gave me a 100% on the scalloped potatoes. Which is amazing, considering she never pays me a compliment and I am a mediocre cook, no matter how many cooking shows I watch. And my brother-in-law said that was the best coleslaw he’s ever eaten. My lucky cooking stars must have been perfectly aligned yesterday. And I don’t know why I’m sharing all this with you.

  23. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    I love the Dali Lama’s giggle too..He always seems so happy..I think he knows something that we don’t..These big time chefs yelling and belittling contestants is ridiculous..what ever happened to giving someone guidance and encouragement?? It just makes the big chef look like the little person..I’m not even going to comment on the Fella’s

  24. Beth says:

    Hi Karen…Happy Easter Monday!!!

    I read your blog everyday…I get excited when I open my email to find your posting! I have not commented for a while now, for no other reason then by the time I finish reading everyone else’s comments, I am certain that they have said everything that I would have said, so no need to repeat. However, this time I just HAD to let you know that I laughed so hard at the “internal toot”, and your sister’s finger nail, that I am still wiping my tears that are running down my cheeks from laughing….Thanks…I needed that!

  25. Carla Barnes says:

    Ahhh! Now you’ve done it. I want to watch Season 3 Master Chef Australia, start to finish. There’s a huge variety in the people competing, EVERYONE looks like they’re having fun, and hmm – some really nice-looking guys in there, too. Thanks for sharing WHY you like this program so much.

  26. Amy in StL says:

    Yesterday we had ham, scalloped potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and cole slaw. Apparently my 83 year old mom has suddenly decided we have to have sweet potatoes and green bean casserole every time we have ham. No idea when that started, but I’m glad I wore stretchy jeans to dinner.

  27. Kristi says:

    I watched the American version of MasterChef last summer and was addicted! There is something so awesome about watching people with no formal training and seeing the “real chefs” get blown away by their talent. There was a chef named Ben from North Texas (where I’m from) that was so passionate about his creations. It was truly like watching the American Dream in action. Kudos to those brave enough to chase their dreams. Can’t wait for the new season!

  28. kelliblue says:

    Yay! I used to *love* watching those PBS cooking shows too (‘Two Fat Ladies’ was the BEST). They really were about cooking and not ENTERTAINING. The majority of my cooking skills were learned watching those shows…PBS was ‘cable lite’ in my house.

    So the toots sounds like what one of my friends calls ‘food babies.’ Y’know, you eat so much your tummy makes gurgly noises and yer innards feel like they’re moving…food babies. Trying to get out. ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Kim Merry says:

    So… in Canada you celebrate Easter with Baby Jesus?
    Your family always has such fun holidays. Maybe you should have a contest and invite the winner to the next holiday!!!!!!!! You would have everyone lining up for that!!!!

  30. Maureen says:

    I don’t know what’s funnier; your post or the comments! The tears are running down my face. It’s absolutely infantile how fart stories make me laugh!

  31. Spokangela says:

    Yep, farts, internal or otherwise get me everytime. I am proud of my 14 year old boy sense of humor ๐Ÿ™‚

    I LOVE Jacque Pepin!! He is my all time favorite. I love it when he calls water “chateau sink” lol! He is wonderful.

  32. Carolyn says:

    How do you get to watch the Master Chef Australia series?
    I searched online, though not for hours, and couldn’t even find a site to pay to watch it. I was hoping for free, but figured maybe I could rent it. No luck.

  33. Jodi says:

    Your quest to see Masterchef Australia Season 3 legally for free sounds as frustrating as my quest to see any season of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for free – neither of us have had any luck. In the meantime I can console myself with the on-my-screen soon new series of Masterchef that my honey and I will be watching religiously when it starts. Season 4! Yes, this is the lucky country. BTW, I love everything about your blogKaren, you rock! (and this is the first time I’ve ever posted on any non-relatives blog)

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Jodi! So Season 4 starts soon does it? The Australian version? So exciting! Love that show. Holy crap. ~ karen

  34. Jodi says:

    Next Sunday in fact! It’s official, can’t wait. I have also found a way to see that other show, but not, maybe, ahem, exactly legally; all eight seasons (!) are to be found on a file-sharing site called PirateBay. I think maybe it could help fellow readers find Masterchef too. But it’s our secret. Ssssshhhhh!!!

  35. sara says:

    I decided to come back here and thank you for suggesting this show- it’s so nice. I kept telling MY fella about how the judges are fun and funny and helpful and how this show in America would never work because we Americans would never support each other the way they are on the Australian version. Once I got caught up on the newest season, I decided to watch the American Masterchef, and it’s horrible! The judges are just awful to the contestants, it’s barely even the same show. Ick.

    • Karen says:

      Sara – Thanks for letting me know. You’re right. The US version just makes me uncomfortable. PLUS there really isn’t any focus on cooking in the American version. ~ karen

  36. says:

    Karen I LOVE your blog and your dry humor is absolutely hysterical ! I hope to be able to see the chicken cam also soon if it isn’t too late!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Debbie!(s?) – I’m afraid it’s too late for the Coop Cam, but I’ll be putting it up again in the future. ~ karen!

  37. Shannon Jennings says:

    lol OMG Karen. So funny all these years later I still occasionally google myself (yes oh the shame) and came across this. Since the show I’ve gotten married (Now Shannon Jennings not Shannon Smyth) and had a beautiful baby girl- Asher Jennings ๐Ÿ™‚

    Don’t know why I haven’t stopped by your blog in so long but I will more often again now. <3

    • Karen says:

      Shannon! I’ve Googled you too to see what you’re up to, lol. Couldn’t find you or your blog! Welcome back. ~ karen!

    • Karen says:

      Well Shannon? Have you been back again? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Congratulations on your marriage and BABY! ~ karen

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Optionally add an image (JPEG only)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Art of Doing Stuff