Menu for June 21st – June 27th

You’ll have to excuse me if I seem a teensy bit distracted during this menu dissertation.  You see I’m watching Miley Cyrus on the Much Music Video Awards and she isn’t wearing anything.  Which is fine, she looks good.

I’m perplexed because she seems awfully calm to be wearing only her underwear.   The only time I’m only in my underwear is in one of those dreams where you look down and see you’re only wearing your underwear … and are justifiably mortified.  She’s living my dream/nightmare and is nowhere even close to being mortified.  Oop!  Now she just dry humped the air.

See?  I’m completely distracted.  I am also mildly distracted because I didn’t sleep last night.  My neighbours had a kid’s birthday party.  Which degenerated into a grown up party.  They broke out the bongos, tambourine, guitar and moonshine apparently around 8 p.m..  By 2 a.m. they were in the 6th hour of scream-slur-singing every other word to Pearl Jam.  Pearl Jam I say.  I don’t even want to hear Pearl Jam sing Pearl Jam.  Unless it’s Crazy Mary, which I quite like.

OMG get focused Karen!  O.K.  Here we go … this week’s menu.

MONDAY – Cold cut Snookie Sandwiches on great big crusty buns w/ garlic mayo, Potato Salad, Broccoli Salad

How does a Snookie sandwich differ from a regular sandwich?  Uh … it’s served with a pickle on the side.  Double duh.

TUESDAY –  BBQ tenderloin, Broccoli, Sliced Sweet potatoes on BBQ, Beet & Goat’s Cheese Salad with Orange Dressing

This is the perfect meal.  Not necessarily nutrition-wise, although I think it’s pretty darn good in that department.  No … this is a near perfect meal due to it’s colour.  You have seared meat, bright green broccoli, orange sweet potatoes, sparkling red beets and crisp white goat’s cheese.  DAZZLING!  I love all that colour on my plate.  My sister (the painter) and I have always had an aversion to all-beige meals.  Say a plate with chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes and a piece of bread.  It’s like eating prison slop.  Watch out!  … I’ll skink ya … skank ya … shank ya?  Whatever I do, I’ll be awfully slow moving from all the beige food in my system.

WEDNESDAY – Spicy Flank Steak skewers, Spring Rolls with hot Thai sauce, Brown Rice, Roasted Red Peppers

Flank steak ain’t cheap.  It just isn’t.  Which I can’t figure out ’cause it’s a really tough hunkka meat.  Like,  raccoon-jerky, tough.  Tasty though.  Boy is it tasty.  Raccoon-jerky tasty.  To make flank steak edible you have to freeze it then slice it thin against the grain.  Or cook it for 6,582 hours slowly.  I usually opt for the thin slicing.  If it’s especially warm out I’ll cook the skewers in advance then chill them and serve the slices over a butter lettuce salad.  Actually I serve them over whatever lettuce I have in the fridge, but butter lettuce just sound so gooood doesn’t it?  Sometimes I do have butter lettuce, so it wasn’t a total lie.

THURSDAY – Linguine with milk based Pesto (Basil, Parsley & garlic), Garlic Croustini

This is one of those recipes that’s easily one of my absolute favourites.  I grow my own basil, parsley and garlic so the only thing I have to buy is the pine nuts.  It’s a variation of a tradition pesto where some olive oil is replaced with milk.  It makes it kind of like an Alfredo sauce.  But that’s not the point I’m trying to make here.  The point I’m trying to make is I LOVE this recipe and my fella is convinced it made him sick once. So he will not eat it.   It did not make him sick.  For such a big, strong man my fella has an absurdly delicate intesitnal tract.  Any number of things could have made him sick.  Finding out he doesn’t have any clean socks is enough to make him sick.  I am finding out this is the case with many men.  We girls talk you know. So what’s the deal with tonight?  Well … he can suck it basically.  I’M HAVIN’ PESTO!

FRIDAY –  Slow smoked BBQ Ribs, Red Peppers, Corn on the Cob, Baked Potatoes

The success of this recipe  depends on whether I think I can afford to buy a smoker this week.  Truth is I will not be able to afford a half decent smoker unless between now and Friday I am able to start selling my cat’s poop for profit.  My heart is set on a Big Green Egg.  Barring that … a Weber smoker.  Realistically, I  will be building one out of a garbage can and chicken wire.

SATURDAY –  BBQ sausages, Jalapeno Perogies, with onions sauteed in butter.  An alarming amount of butter.

You haven’t had a Jalapeno perogie?  Go get some.  Go on … I’ll wait.

SUNDAY –  Tofu Macaroni & Cheese, Caesar Salad

This recipe is a hacked Dr. Oz recipe.  Yeah … I know.  His original recipe had tofu, cheese and soy milk.  I ditched the soy milk.  Soy milk has a sweetness to it.  I’m not a fan of sweet macaroni and cheese even if it is for “health purposes”.  I mean, it’s macaroni and cheese.  You can put a hat on a chicken but … it’s still a chicken.  And if it’s a birthday hat … well … look out.  And for God’s sake don’t give that chicken a guitar. No one’ll sleep a wink.


13 Comments

  1. Liz says:

    Jeremy spoke in….claaaassss todaaaayyyyy. Did they sing that?

    • Karen says:

      No! It was not Jeremy. I can’t remember which one it was (over and over). Please don’t make me remember. – karen

  2. Karen B says:

    your menu looks divine. Let’s go to your house for dinner this week. Love the pesto recipe. Only my husband and I eat it. I grow an insane amount of basil, maybe if I put milk in it, my kids migt eat it, less green, more yum. Question, how do you stay so svelte with this fab menu? I love to eat, but have to work out like a maniac just to indulge like this on the weekends. Secret please?

  3. Kristen says:

    Do you know about Flat Iron Steak? It is similar to flank steak, in terms of how you treat it and what it looks like, but it is much tastier and has a better, more tender texture. My understanding is that this is a newly invented cut of meat (to the extent that a cut of meat can be newly invented. Do I mean “developed?” or “discovered?” Whatever.) I make an Asian-inspired marinade, and then cook it to an internal temperature of 150, let it think about itself for 5 minutes, and then slice thinly across the grain.

  4. Langela says:

    We have a weber smoker and my sister-in-law has a green egg. Now it could just be our awesome cooking skills, but both she and her husband say our meat had a better smoked taste and flavor. The weber is also quite easy to move around and store. It doesn’t have the big or the green or the egg look to it though. We LOVE our smoker— pork rolls, roasts, chicken breasts, turkeys….mmmm! Where was I?

  5. Nicole says:

    I’m almost afraid to comment, for fear of getting skanked. Does that involve throwing a nearly-naked teenager at me? I don’t know how they roll in Canada, but they frown on that down here…my comment…I had one…OH the notes! on the left side of your menu? it looks like a crazy person’s shopping list, but appears to say “5 things that make me unhappy/milk in glass bottle,” which…I rather enjoy liquids from glass bottles. the fancypants grocery store has milk in glass bottles and it separates, which freaked me out a bit. but Dublin Dr. Pepper in a glass bottle? liquid heaven. Your list continues: “Scool, dish soap, pisspenis.” Which…nope, I’ve got nothing. Then “antique bottle w/spout” which, I’m guessing, would come in handy when dealing with the pisspenis.

    (capitalization is not my friend. apologies.)

    • MK says:

      I read “5 cool dishsoap dispensers”. *grin* Maybe my life is way too dull because I thought, “Wow, five dispensers?” and at no time did I think “pisspenis?”

      • Karen says:

        Ding Ding Ding. Although I have to say that I’m kindda partial to “pisspenis”. It has a certain ring to it. So yes … watch for 5 cool ideas for dishsoap dispensers coming soon!

  6. Mike says:

    I built a smoker out of two garbage cans, a barbeque grill, a tray of maplewood chips and a hot plate, shoved in a turkey, turned it on and watched as the whole thing fused, melted and shorted out all the lights in the cottage. The lesson: Make sure the hot plate has heat-proof insulated wires if you want to serve your friends delicious meals prepared in a garbage can.

  7. Melissa says:

    Where are the recipes??? I want this exact menu to be MY menu too.

  8. Jessi S says:

    Karen – your the greatest! What is going on with Miss Cyrus lately! We turned her concert on the other night and all three of my kids exclaimed – “Mom what IS she wearing!” – my 4 yr old came up with the best explanation – “She’s wearing Bootie Covers!” too funny!

  9. Uncle Shifty says:

    Karen B asks how does our Karen stay so svelte on her meat and potatoes menu? I’ll tell you how because I’ve seen it with my own bleary eyes. She loads her plate up with man-food and eats maybe a third of it. The rest goes to her great waddling cat. Secret revealed!
    From Karen: Um … this is not true. And this is one of the many reasons Uncle Shifty is called Uncle Shifty.

  10. lori says:

    I cannot wait to try freeze slicing the flank, I have NEVER had luck with it!!!

    BUT skirt steak on the other hand, have you tried that one, mm mm mm!!!
    love your menus Karen!

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