Welcome to the last post of 2016. The curtain is down on The Art of Doing Stuff until the New Year, giving me my yearly week of relaxation.
And this year (as I do every year) I pledge to actually relax. To slow the hell down for one entire week. Even if I have to chain myself to a sloth to do it. omg I'd TOTALLY chain myself to a sloth. I *love* sloths. I wonder where I could get a sloth. I think the most exotic thing my nearest pet store sells are the one eyed mice they sell to snake owners.
Before I leave you to your own few days of relaxation in the form of family fights, present returning and turkey burning, I will, as I do every year, give you some insight into what I plan to do with my relaxation time until I see you again in January.
Sit
Knit
Cook You know as much as I love cooking I hate having to clean up after cooking so maybe I won't cook.
Forage for food that can be eaten out of a can in the cupboard
Wonder why the only canned food I have is Sweetened Condensed Milk
Contemplate whether consuming can of Sweetened Condensed Milk constitutes eating or drinking. Decide it's both based on it's more mainstream drink/food cousin, Boost. Have single handedly created new hipster rage drink. Make note to find bearded boyfriend whom I can Instagram Snapchat holding my drink invention whilst wearing plaid shirt.
Feel ill from "dinner", strip naked and lie down on bathroom floor.
Notice dirt.
Ignore dirt.
Notice dirt again. Curse dirt.
Wash bathroom floor which leads to kitchen floor which leads to mudroom floor which leads to outdoors.
Wave at neighbours looking curiously at my outfit which I now realize consists entirely of rubber gloves.
Wave more enthusiastically as a way to distract them from my nakedness.
Retreat indoors.
Still unwell. Lay on the couch. Do not MOVE from the couch.
Contemplate installing a refrigerator in the couch. No that's stupid, I should just move the couch into the kitchen.
Bored on couch, move to computer.
Look up ways to relax
Find my own post on chaining self to sloth
Fall asleep on couch, wake up and repeat.
Have a great Christmas and Hanukah, each and every one of you. I'll be back in January with as many helpful hints, tips, trials and tribulations as I can possible muster up over this next week of recharging.
Even though we all know this is technically the season of hope and love, you and I are smart enough to know it's also the season of anger and arguing. There are only so many Christmases we all have in us so don't waste this one getting worked into a fit for whatever stupid reason.
Sit.
Relax.
Chain yourself to a sloth.
See you in the New Year.
Lucky Sloth.... I got into a dust-up with a salvation army bell ringer when I tried to drop unused coupons for discount groceries in the kettle, needless to say you can still hear a muffled ring of that bell every step he takes. Ungrateful for my charitable contributions, smh. I need a Christmas sloth to relax with also. Guess I'll just shake out my Cher extensions and woah, glitter my way into the new year.
PS: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Karen. ((big hugs))
Thank you so much for giving us so much . . . of yourself!
And a Merry Christmas to all from Waterdown, Ontario Canada.
Getting over my sinus infection...which MADE me s-l-o-w down --$@^$@^#!! So I'm in a mad scramble to complete everything in time. I am looking forward to a week of less! Please.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you Karen!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and all yours!!
Merry Christmas ?☃?Wishing one an all a Very Merry Holiday Season ??? an all the Best in the New Year.
Karen, you are an absolute delight. I love your blog. I hope you have a wonderful relaxing holiday.
Have a very Merry and Happy Festivus! Thanks for all you do!
Thank you Karen for what you do - for all you do! I found your blog early this year and can't wait to see what is in store for us in 2017. Merry Christmas and (force yourself) enjoy your week of sloth.
My dad used to treat himself to condensed milk spread on toast, at Christmas oddly enough. He grew up in Peterborough so maybe it's an Ontario thing :) Merry Christmas Karen!
Hi Liz, I *think* it might be a British thing. I'm an Ontarian and couldn't swallow that if I tried but my late Welsh/English dad would have said yes please! But then he liked treacle too and Lyle's Golden Syrup. Ahhh, good times!
Merry Christmas Karen, from the Deep South in Alabama where Christmas Day will be in the 70's temperature wise. I was hoping for cold and wet as an excuse to just nap after a big meal but guess I'll have to get out and walk off the calories now. Ha!
Happy holidays. Peace.
What exactly is sweetened condensed milk and how was it invented? Don't answer that until 2017! Have a wonderful Christmas and I'm looking forward to TAODS in the new year. Happy slothing.
Have a great Christmas shutdown. You deserve it!! :)
Have a joyous slothful Festivus! Almost bought my grandson the cutest stuffie sloth for Christmas. Really just wanted him for myself...
Thanks for TAODS!
Merry Christmas, Karen and thank you for another year of great tips, decor, gift ideas, new products, DIY projects, chicken stories and most of all laughs. Relax and enjoy your week off.
Happy Holidays (to cover all the joyous events of the season)!! Join me in raising a glass on NYE because it's also my birthday and we'll all wish for a grand 2017! *cheers* xo
Try making Salted Caramel coffee creamer with the sweetened condensed milk...YUMMY!!! Oh, and Merry Christmas & a very Happy New Year to you and those adorable chickens. Enjoy your week of relaxation.
Thanks for another year of inspiration and entertainment. As other readers have said, yours is the only blog that I read each and every post! Merry Christmas, Karen
Today is our first ever family Christmas gathering not at MY house! Feeling yay and sad too about it. Meeting at my daughter's, which is 60 miles away. But then my husband and son and granddoggie can have a nice quiet one on the 25th, so there's that. Thanks so much for your posts; they are inspiring, informative, and funny! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Karen, and to all your fans too!
Karen, make yourself a pot pot of soup or something...cook once, eat for a week...only clean up cooking mess once and then 1 smallish bowl/spoon when you eat. That's always my plan when I want to try to have a lazy week or even weekend.
Merry Christmas!