My Morning Routine & Why You Might Want to Adopt It.

I’m one of them.  I’m one of those sunshiney people who gets up with the sun and goes for a walk, starting my day with exercise, outdoors and a smug feeling of superiority.

Illustration of a smiley face with big blue eyes and a red smile.

It’s true. I’m that girl you see bouncing by, outside your window at 7:30 in the morning while you’re still trying to figure out how you have pillow marks on your calves.  I’m up, get a quick coffee into me, throw on some sweatpants and head out the door looking like someone who should probably still be asleep.

By 8:00 I’ve returned home, having walked 3 kilometres, my lungs filled with fresh air, my hands cupped around a hot cup of coffee, ready for the day knowing I am the sort of person other people are envious of. I am the sort of person other people aspire to be.  I.  Am.  Morning. Person. 

I’ve been on this routine for quite a long time.

2 days. 

That makes me a Suzy Sunshine expert and therefore I have a lot of advice to impart on you – the bed dwellers, the late risers, the night owls and other immorals.

I was once you.  3 days ago.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I’d go to bed very late and get up moderately late.  8:30 or so. I was at my computer working by 8:45 and generally would stay there until I either had to pee,  eat something, or kill a centipede. I’d maybe walk around my yard or sit on the porch for 15 minutes just to get outside then I’d be back at my computer writing and editing photos.

I’m not in the habit of using my walking desk during the summer and fall – it’s more of a winter thing for me. So a lot of days I’m quite sluggish.  Not my guts. My guts are just fine.  I can throw down when it comes to that.  I just don’t move enough some days to even feel human. This leads to blogger bod and blogger brain. 

The condition is easily recognized;  if you feel like your body is made of cement trucks – you have the affliction.  

A black & white photo of Karen Bertelsen sleeping on top of the covers of her bed with her cat snuggled under her arm.

rare shot of me in restful, elegant slumber. basically a Princess.

Therefore I’ve taken the drastic step of waking up and going for a walk early in the morning.  Very early.  Sunrise early. This is no small change of pace for someone who is regularly on speaking terms with 2:00 a.m.

I’m very very happy with my new routine and only plan to make a few minor tweaks.

  1. Go to bed earlier. Getting only 4 hours of sleep doesn’t make you cooler, tougher or stronger. It makes you a deranged lunatic who has the focus of someone who just smoked 400 pounds of weed.
  2. Smoke weed.  I think if I smoked weed I wouldn’t have to go through all of this waking up early and walking business because so much of my time would be devoted to figuring out how to tie my shoelaces.
  3. Learn how to say Good Morning! I don’t say that. It feels weird to me. Other morning walkers let that phrase roll off their tongue like nothing. I assume it’s because they’ve had years of practice. I on the other hand am new to encountering people before lunchtime and what I usually reply with is a moderately frantic “My hair is normally brushed.”
  4. Get out the door a little bit earlier. At my current time I’m forced to weave my way around school children on the streets and I would like to avoid this as I find them to be alarming in every way.  They’re very small, fast and unpredictable.  Like centipedes in pants.
  5.  Knock on people’s doors so they can enjoy the fun of a morning walk too. I see nothing that could go wrong with doing that.

How has this waking up at an unGodly hour and walking for several kilometres routine changed my life over the course of 2 days? Well, I’m ready to go to bed earlier.  By 2 in the afternoon. I’ve learned there are many many things you can do with your eyes closed because you don’t have the energy or coordination to open them.  Really the only good thing about it is I get to brag that I’m a morning person like so many morning people seem to do. But it’s all a lie, I’m not a morning person, I’m masquerading as one. I’m fundamentally a vampire person. In my heart.

I’ve decided that I’ll only do this morning thing during the week because even if I’m working on the weekend, I usually get a chance to go somewhere outside of the house like the garden or an antique market or auction. So I do have more of a chance to see the world and my beloved sun on the weekends.

Therefore Monday is my next scheduled get up and out day.  That gives me two whole days between now and then to decide whether I can come up with a better plan to get me up and outside bright and early.  I’ve toyed with the idea of secretly sleeping in a neighbour’s car and just peering out their sunroof while they drive to work but more people than you’d think get angry when you break into their car even if it isn’t to steal something. This is the level of political correctness our world is at right now. You can’t even pop out of someone’s backseat and ask them to stop at a breakfast burrito drive through. 

Wish me luck on day 3 of my “get up and out” routine. Whatever it might be.

Have a good weekend!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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My Morning Routine & Why You Might Want to Adopt It.
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