Nature’s Christmas Gift.

I was getting the backyard ready for Christmas the other day when a heavy, heavy dread settled over me. Like the hand of Father Christmas pushing me into the dirt.

It suddenly occurred to me that my readers might be getting sick of all the Christmas related posts. The Christmas crap, the sparkle and snow, the elf and the shelf.

And frankly, that’s really all I have scheduled from now until the big day.   Glitter, garland, evergreens, bows.   Glitter, garland, evergreens, bows.  It’s all I can think of.  Well, that and cheese.

I spent the majority of last week wandering around the house, outside the house, around town, trying to come up with post ideas that weren’t Christmas related. I was totally and completely unsuccessful. Although I did end up with another dozen ideas for Christmas related posts.

I went about my work outside digging in the backyard planters, getting them ready for a Christmas riot of sparkle, branches and evergreen boughs.   I worked in solitude, focused on my task, but still unable to shake the feeling that it was too much.  It was just too much Christmas.  I needed something else. A new idea for a post.  Something different.  Something completely unrelated to Christmas.

But with someone like me, who lives and breathes for Christmas at this time of year I knew the chances of coming up with another idea were grim.  It would require some sort of divine intervention.

It was a perfect day for doing the outdoor decorating, Christmas carols softly playing, the sound of church bells being carried on a breeze from down the street.

At the moment the very last church bell rang, I plunged my hand into the planter dirt to pull up some old roots.  What my hand came out with was the inspiration I had been looking for; I now had something for a post that had nothing at all to do with Christmas.

It was a gift from nature.  The very last sweet potato that had been clinging to life, just waiting for a warm hand to cradle it and bring it inside.

And not just any old sweet potato. It was a remarkable sweet potato.

In short, it was the divine intervention I’d been looking for.

 

 

sweet-pootato
 
Holy shit.

111 Comments

  1. Jamieson says:

    That is totes nast.

  2. Jake says:

    Are you absolutely, positively, without a doubt, 100% certain that is not cat shit? Keep the Christmas stuff coming, I’m with you on the loving the time of year thingy.

  3. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    If that is what divine intervention is giving out..I’ll pass thanks..lol

  4. Kat says:

    Too Cool… and by the way love your cleaver snowflake!

  5. Ev says:

    Sort of magical, plucking that little jewel right after the “PooPouri” article, don’t you think?! Maybe nature is trying to tell you something. Maybe you’re supposed to take a poopy path somehow! Just sayin’….

  6. Carol says:

    Laughing like a crazy person!

  7. theresa says:

    The tears from laughing rolling down my face! divine indeed

  8. Sherri Hanigan says:

    This is one shitato that you won’t be peeling!

  9. Mandy says:

    ahahahaha!

  10. marilyn says:

    bring back the glitter….please?

  11. Melissa in North Carolina says:

    LOL, and I did! Holy shit!!!

  12. Tara says:

    Best. Christmas Post. Ever.

  13. Reg says:

    No more sweet potato fries for me. Is that the equivalent of a coal in your stocking?

  14. jainegayer says:

    Yuk! LOL

  15. Kathy says:

    Karen, you are one funny woman!

  16. Charmaine says:

    This lines up nicely with your poo-pourri post, which BTW was also not Christmas related, so you’re still doing a great job!

  17. The Mrs. says:

    You’re a great writer and that was FUNNY!!!!!

  18. Zoe says:

    Are you going to eat it?

  19. Sue says:

    Best post ever!! Priceless!!

  20. Cindy says:

    …now that WAS different–I see a theme here–‘poo spray…holy poo…(bought some, by the way)

  21. Tigersmom says:

    Bazinga!

    Oh, you totally got me with this one. I was all caught up in your sincerity and then a sweet poo-tato. Divine intervention gives you holy shit. Holy shit is one of my favorite phrases.

    Thanks for the morning guffaw with my coffee.

  22. Kelly says:

    true talent to grow something like that. i’ve had penis shaped carrots, but never a shitty potato

  23. Holy crap, what a great post. You have a shitty series started, with the pooh-pouring.

  24. Jody says:

    It seems to me not all your recent posts have been about Christmas. There seems to be another theme emerging–Shit. Poo-pouri and now shitty sweet potatoes.

  25. KimC says:

    LOL!!!!!!

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