Nature’s Christmas Gift.

I was getting the backyard ready for Christmas the other day when a heavy, heavy dread settled over me. Like the hand of Father Christmas pushing me into the dirt.

It suddenly occurred to me that my readers might be getting sick of all the Christmas related posts. The Christmas crap, the sparkle and snow, the elf and the shelf.

And frankly, that’s really all I have scheduled from now until the big day.   Glitter, garland, evergreens, bows.   Glitter, garland, evergreens, bows.  It’s all I can think of.  Well, that and cheese.

I spent the majority of last week wandering around the house, outside the house, around town, trying to come up with post ideas that weren’t Christmas related. I was totally and completely unsuccessful. Although I did end up with another dozen ideas for Christmas related posts.

I went about my work outside digging in the backyard planters, getting them ready for a Christmas riot of sparkle, branches and evergreen boughs.   I worked in solitude, focused on my task, but still unable to shake the feeling that it was too much.  It was just too much Christmas.  I needed something else. A new idea for a post.  Something different.  Something completely unrelated to Christmas.

But with someone like me, who lives and breathes for Christmas at this time of year I knew the chances of coming up with another idea were grim.  It would require some sort of divine intervention.

It was a perfect day for doing the outdoor decorating, Christmas carols softly playing, the sound of church bells being carried on a breeze from down the street.

At the moment the very last church bell rang, I plunged my hand into the planter dirt to pull up some old roots.  What my hand came out with was the inspiration I had been looking for; I now had something for a post that had nothing at all to do with Christmas.

It was a gift from nature.  The very last sweet potato that had been clinging to life, just waiting for a warm hand to cradle it and bring it inside.

And not just any old sweet potato. It was a remarkable sweet potato.

In short, it was the divine intervention I’d been looking for.

 

 

sweet-pootato
 
Holy shit.

111 Comments

  1. Sally A. says:

    I would like you to recreate the moment on video with the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” playing and when they get to the “…of the yeeeeaaaaar!” part at the end, I want the camera to start in close then pull away to an aerial shot of you with outstretched arms holding the poo in triumph. Sorry, pootatoe. And maybe spinning like Julie Andrews on the mountain in the Sound of Music.

    Classic.

  2. danni says:

    please please please, don’t eat that!

  3. Erica O says:

    NO WAY!
    It’s…a Christmas miracle!
    This post has EVERYTHING to do with Christmas!
    Are you going to preserve the pootato and hang it on a tree as an ornament? Because it’s a memorable piece of work!

  4. SuzyM says:

    First the poop odor remover spray, now this. Even though I’m Jewish, I’m voting for the return to all things holiday, please! Oh, yes, and a kitchen update might be nice.

  5. NikiDee says:

    LOL! Hilarious! Happy to have something non Christmas – even if it’s only to get my mind off of it for one moment…that moment is welcome. Hope it truly IS a sweet potato. Guess you’ll find out when you go to cook it up. Oh and as for other non Christmassy posts…. you answered your own question: There’s always a time to talk about CHEESE!

  6. Rondina says:

    Just to be sure, maybe you should use some poo-spray on it. Maybe send it to Elizabeth Floyd for a portrait of the pootato. She’s doing study’s on dishcloths right now.

  7. kari says:

    Always a “fresh” post with you Karen! Hi.lar.ious.

  8. Sandra says:

    Well, shit happens. It’s all in the way we handle it that counts.
    PS- I love your Christmas posts. One can never have too much sparkle!

  9. LeeAnne says:

    That was one shitacular post Karen! Keep pooping them out!

  10. Robin says:

    Funny! And you know what, I really do not like Christmas, but I AM enjoying your Christmas posts. I think you lighten it up for me, so thanks.

  11. Jamieson says:

    That is totes nast.

  12. Jake says:

    Are you absolutely, positively, without a doubt, 100% certain that is not cat shit? Keep the Christmas stuff coming, I’m with you on the loving the time of year thingy.

  13. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    If that is what divine intervention is giving out..I’ll pass thanks..lol

  14. Kat says:

    Too Cool… and by the way love your cleaver snowflake!

  15. Ev says:

    Sort of magical, plucking that little jewel right after the “PooPouri” article, don’t you think?! Maybe nature is trying to tell you something. Maybe you’re supposed to take a poopy path somehow! Just sayin’….

  16. Carol says:

    Laughing like a crazy person!

  17. theresa says:

    The tears from laughing rolling down my face! divine indeed

  18. Sherri Hanigan says:

    This is one shitato that you won’t be peeling!

  19. Mandy says:

    ahahahaha!

  20. marilyn says:

    bring back the glitter….please?

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