As you may have noticed, we have entered the New Year.
The fella and I personally, rolled into it fairly quietly as we normally do. I, because I hate forced fun, and he because he's not allowed to have forced fun without me. So we sat around, played our yearly scratch and win ticket, laughed and complained about a variety of things while flipping relentlessly between a movie and Times Square coverage of ringing in the New Year.
We put a movie on and the fella started snoring immediately. The most entertaining part of my night was when he tooted in his sleep then smiled like a baby.
I find New Year's Eve very depressing really. Sadly depressing. Bring on the pills depressing. You know that horrible feeling you got when you were little and home sick? And it was weird to be home during a school day because talk radio was on and the television channels were filled with soap operas and their strange whisper voices and clickity clack heels?
No? Well ... anyway ... that's the feeling I get at New Years. And so I eat potato chips. And kielbasa. And Gingerbread cookies. And cream puffs. I don't even like cream puffs, but when you buy a suitcase full of them from Costco and realize they do INDEED have an expiry date, you tend to eat them. Especially if it's New Years and you haven't grocery shopped since before Christmas and the only thing left in the fridge other than cream puffs is a blob of leftover icing from cookie decorating. Which come to think of it, you ate for dinner last night.
So in addition to laughing and complaining, we discussed how I was going to get rid of the water wings that seem to have grown on my back. My first thought was to do a DIY on cutting out back fat. Preferably with something I could find in my kitchen utensil drawer. Like a scalpel, or cleaver, or meat thermometer. But that seemed unreasonable when I remembered the fella didn't know how to sew, so I'd have no one to "close" for me.
The thought of trying to sew myself up by contorting my body and trying to glimpse myself in a mirror seemed completely ridiculous.
So nix that plan.
The only other option is to buy bigger pants. Which is significantly more horrifying than cutting my back open and scooping the fat out with a melon baller. So, as fast as my back fat appeared, the idea of getting rid of it as my New Year's resolution disappeared.
Last year my resolution was to relax more. Seemed like a goal I could accomplish. And I did. I wouldn't say I became what you'd call an accomplished relaxer. Like, I won't be giving classes on it in a church basement anytime soon. But, I did make a conscious effort to relax more.
The onlyyyyyy problem with my plan is the fact that I like working. Which I confuse with relaxing. I enjoy Photoshopping photos and doing research for posts on the computer and writing so my brain registers it as relaxing. The fella. Does not. He gets sick of sitting beside me click, click, clicking away on my laptop on the couch every night. Can't really blame him, I guess.
So this year, my New Year's resolution is to be a better relaxer. And part of that is to recognize that even though I enjoy my work, I need to set it aside and make time for other things I like. Like knitting. And reading. And practicing amateur weather forecasting.
I only starting making resolutions a couple of years ago and I find as long as there's only one of them, and it's fairly simple, they're totally achievable.
And you? Yes? No? What exactly do YOU resolve to do?
If it has anything to do with perfecting the art of home surgery using pot holders, turkey basters, and pizza cutters I'd love to hear about it.
Postscript: By the way, I wrote this post on December 19th. Yeah. Over 2 weeks ago. That's how predictable our New Years Eves are. Pizza, movie, scratch and win ticket, sleep, fart. I *did* have to add in the part about the baby grin after the toot. So I guess, we're not completely predictable. Just remarkably pathetic.
There are two types of people: New Year's Eve people and New Year's Day people. I'm definitely a New Year's Day person. I've never had a non-depressing New Year's Eve in my life. Not one. But New Year's Day always seems shiny and bright and filled with possibilities and hope.
The only resolution I made this year was, "Do better." It seems broad on the surface, but considering how difficult the past few years have been for me, it might actually be achievable. Then again, I have the worst luck in the world, so I'll have to wait and see.
My resolution is equally broad. I think of it more as a theme. So the theme for 2013 is "Try Harder." Cuz I can always give a little bit more.
I have a problem. Lovely home made Christmas wreath pyracantha berries got tracked in and ground into my carpet. Have worked hard to get stains out but telltale pink still remains. Grrr. No more berries on future wreaths. Any ideas?
funny and true! new years so often tends to be disappointing although for me this year it was super amazing!
No resolutions for me. I make them all year long and still manage to break most of them. However, this year on Jan 06, I'm making some "lifestyle changes". It's my Moms birthday on that day and she's been gone almost 10 years. Hopefully picking this day will help to make these changes stick so I won't need the turkey baster, pot holders and pizza cutter.
Happy New Year, Karen!
I'd offer to sew you up, but I am too far away... that, and the fact that I suck at hand sewing. Hmmmm.... could we fit the fold of flesh under the presser foot on my sewing machine? Hahaha! Have a great 2013!
Relaxing is over-rated. It's just not worth the effort it takes to relax.
Brilliant Tracy! I couldn't agree more!
Not pathetic Karen, I think a lot of us rang in the New Year pretty much the same. Eating whatever we could find in the kitchen, watching tv, and some incredible napping! Happy New Year and good luck with the relaxing!
Get to 2014 is my resolution! Thanks for some laughs and some great buys and some great ideas! Why is it that every time I go on Pinterest I think of you - seems everyone is building or pinning cute coops or chickens. What have you started? You should invite people to pin on a Coops for my Peeps board. I bet it would fill up fast!
our eve was all the same, had a ben stiller-film a good meal and a really quite night. till our neighbor came along and stayed till 4 in the morning...
I prefere to stay alone and always always someone comes and ruins my night. If they would toot at least,but no!
I planned - for the next year.......TATARATA
Go to bed at 23.55h and put earplugs in.
All the best for you and your family
Did I really write, I wish friends would visit me to fart!?
Oh my God....
Hey Karen! Our NYE was uneventful too! Except when I made cherry turnovers, and my 5 year old jumped on the coffee table and started singing and dancing...... for 30 minutes. *Note to self: never give kids cherry turnovers right before you are ready for them to GO TO SLEEP. :)
Karen, My usual resolution/prayer is to wake up pain free. My new one is 'any day above ground is a good one."
from germany all the best wishes and health!!!
I don`t know, what you have, but don`t give up!
Hmmmmmmmm. I couldn't help but notice that this post includes a mention of a (gasp!)REFRIGERATOR!
You wouldn't be so kind as to mention what kind, and perhaps when it was purchased,for those of us with an inexplicable burning curiosity about such things, would you?
And I know I'm not the only one who wants to know!
Thank you and Happy New Year.
Agreed, New Year's Eve IS depressing. I think it's because there is so much hype surrounding it and if you aren't out partying, your're a looser. However, I too prefer hanging out at home, eating, drinking and falling asleep on the couch before midnight.
My number one "goal" for the new year is to stop procrastinating and just do it. If I can just accomplish that one, I'll feel successful!
To FINALLY lose the weight !! I lost 45 lbs (& only had 12 lbs to go to reach my goal weight) yr before last but gained back almost all of it last year. Starting this Sunday, I will be in the process of losing it ALL...and will be down to 125-130. I thought about your idea of home surgery but by the time I can "contort" I will have almost lost it all so what's the fun in that ???? ;o)))
Oh Karen...how I have missed you!
I decided to no longer where the Crown of QUEEN PROCRASTINATOR.... I also decided I would start tomorrow.
We went to bed at 9 pm, read for about 1 hour, and then crashed! My kind of New Year's!
I never make New Year resolutions. That just sets my whole year up for failure. Have a wonderful year and thanks for the many laughs! Love your blog.
I was snoring by 11:30 on the 31st. Hubby came into the bedroom at midnight to kiss me on the cheek and wish me a Happy New Year. I grunted something.
It's really pathetic that my kids stayed up until 1:30 playing board games, and their mother couldn't even stay up till midnight. I TRIED. But I'm a morning person. I wake up between 5 and 6 am. No midnights for me.
I love that you edited your post to include the baby grin after the toot. :D
Resolutions..Don't make um..Can't break um..As for home surgery..I hear it is going to be the next big trend..Therefore..I will gladly come to your house to practice on your back..I will need the Fella to assist me..Preferably with no shirt on..Yeah..Don't know if it will do you any good but it will definitely make my day happier!!