Ode to my turkey baby. Thanksgiving in Canada, eh.

turkey-belly

Today I am off, I am off today.

Because I am in the Thanksgiving way.

For Canadian’s you see,

It’s the time to give thanks.

For Family and friends and abandoning Spanx.

We will eat and we’ll drink and have family fights,

Someone will toot and we’ll all see the light.

We shouldn’t be angry and ruin the mood

It’s poor for good health and digesting food.

We’ll laugh and we’ll cry and unbutton our pants.

If this ain’t a food coma it’s at least a food trance.

The room is a swirling, you have meat sweats and more.

That turnip you ate is eyeing the back door.

Again it’s a toot so we all have a laugh.

Thanksgiving the holiday that will give you gas.

As I said before, I’m in the Thanksgiving way

Mood swings and farting and sweating all day

It’s not a baby, not a boy or a girl

This bundle of joy might make me hurl.

Again I’m not pregnant, I’m just full of food

On account of all of the stuff that I chewed.

So please forgive me, there’s no post today.

Pray for my innards and give thanks you’re away.




43 Comments

  1. Shana Beirne says:

    Happy Turkey Day! I just love your posts. They always make me giggle. 😉

  2. Karen says:

    Very good writing….
    Happy Holidays for sure…
    You do ALWAYS make us smile!
    Karen

  3. Violet Rose says:

    Lol! That was funny. I’m not sure prayers are going to do the trick, exorcism maybe.

  4. Paula says:

    Well done! The undo the pants one got me 🙂

  5. Pam says:

    I love the stick figure Karen with a turkey bump! Glad you had a full-filling Thanksgiving.

  6. Twyla Harkey says:

    Happy Thanksgiving!!
    What did you cook ??

  7. Sia says:

    Happy canadian thanksgiving!!!
    Wonder if that marshmallow salad is on the menu…

  8. Grammy says:

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your whole family. All the children will, years from now, tell their friends about all the farting that went on at Thanksgiving when they were young. It’s that sort of thing that becomes the legacy in big, happy families. Eat, drink and be merry, Karen!

  9. Bonnie G. says:

    Happy Thanksgiving, Karen, toot to a tune!

  10. Heather says:

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  11. danni says:

    Oh you make me yearn for the U.S. Thanksgiving!
    The food food food! the family fun and fights!!
    The hours and hours and…hours.. of prep….and the 10 minutes gobbling it all down…. and everyone wanders away…. falls asleep wherever their ass lands…… and the mess
    the mess…………………
    and after everything is finally cleaned up and you sit for a moment to rest….. they wake, wander into the kitchen like sleepy children, rosy cheeked and rubbing their eyes, looking for dessert.
    I forgot how much I “love” Thanksgiving, thank you for the reminder.

  12. Tigersmom says:

    Thank you for the lovely ode. And Happy (belated and Canadian) Thanksgiving!

    • Karen says:

      It’s actually today Tigersmom! It’s an anticipatory poem. 😉 I’m just about to start stuffing the turkey. Wish me luck. ~ karen!

  13. You’re a poet and you didn’t know it 🙂

    Happy THANKSGIVING!

    Lurve, from the fellow Canuck. xx

  14. Jody says:

    Happy T’giving day. Google gas relieving yoga poses. It may help! Or not

  15. Barb says:

    Happy Turkey Day, Karen!!!

  16. amy watson says:

    Oh boy!!! I can’t wait for the Canadian Thanksgiving post…make sure you get plenty of pictures, especially the food and table…and you……and all your guests…..and well. EVERYTHING……

  17. Alice says:

    Happy Thanksgiving, Karen and fellow Canucks! I’m going to try my hand at a centrepiece inspired by yours…will have to go in the tarnished silver cake-stand, as I don’t have anything zinc. Fortunately, all the silver is well-tarnished!

  18. Dale says:

    Hopefully as you stuff the turkey this is not a result!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Rabq4muu0

  19. Dagmar says:

    Well done Karen! Is there nothing that you can’t do? Your poem is so much fun !!! And I bless people when they burp and fart, on account of many years of not being able to myself. (the surgery fixed that now) But it really is the healthiest thing for your body. Did you know they have hospital doctors trained to teach people how to do these things ? Well they do. Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for all your posts.

  20. Roberta Holbrook says:

    Happy Thanksgiving Karen! I think having Turkey Day in October would be much nicer than the end of November since the weather can be really tricky sometimes. It would be interesting knowing what the favorite recipes your family enjoys….Have a great one!

  21. Rondina says:

    Happy Thanksgiving! You’ll have to give a toot update.

  22. Mary W says:

    I scared my dog who was sleeping on the recliner with me – she jumped up and barked then looked around to say – what the heck? It was because I laughed out loud almost like a snort when I read “the turnip was eyeing the back door” which is the funniest thing ever. That just made my day! Glad your stuffed and enjoyed such a feast and can’t wait to hear about it. Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

  23. Gretchen Sexton says:

    Happy Thanksgiving! I can’t believe you posted on the holiday. And a funny one at that! You are a wonder.
    Here’s to your innards–long may they live!

  24. maggie van sickle says:

    Happy Thanksgiving Karen and keep up the good work

  25. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    I can see you now after everyone leaves…pants unbuttoned…rolling on the floor…moaning…promising yourself that you will never eat that much again…which will last until Christmas…
    Happy Canada Thanksgiving Day to my sweet bloated farting buddy Karen…and her sweet bloated family!

  26. MaggieB says:

    A very happy belated Canadian Thanksgiving Karen! Congratulations to you and your baby. What was the birth weight? Love the drawing, love the ode. Managed to avoid coffee spray over keyboard.

    Have to say divorced from american husband happy I only have to cook Turkey on Christmas Day!

    My favourite turkey clip has to be Debra from Everyone loves Raymond – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-fMqaHCOpQ

    • Roxy says:

      No, no, no! The funniest Thanksgiving/turkey clip is from back in the days of WKRP in Philadelphia. When Les Nessman dropped free turkeys from a helicopter, “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

      • MaggieB says:

        Roxy, I bow down to you you are absolutely correct! I had forgotten (shame on me!) WKRP. It had a late evening slot on UK TV – hysterical. I see you can get the first series on DVD now. “It’s a dark object, perhaps a skydiver, plummeting to the earth from only 2000ft in the air…” Good times, good times. But of course, this post is absolutely now Good Times Karen!

      • BaconBleuCheez says:

        …but it was W-K-R-P in Cincinnatti

        Season 1, episode 7

  27. Luanne says:

    I’m dying to know – did you have a Turkey-Call-Off this year? How did it go?

    • Karen says:

      I’m afraid we didn’t Luanne. We kind of retired that when the fella left. We did sing “Delta Dawn” for some unknown reason though. ~ karen!

  28. Luanne says:

    I’d surely enjoy video of a family rendition of Delta Dawn just as well as any stinky ol’ turkey call-off. 🙂

    Glad you had fun!

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