OH SHIT NOT YOU AGAIN.

Betty, for those of you who are new around here, is my 83 year old mother.  Betty grew up in the small town of Renfrew, Ontario at a time when most women started their mornings wiping flour covered hands on thinning aprons before plucking bottles of still frothy milk off their front porch.  The street she grew up on was anchored by stately brick homes separated by wide swaths of thick grass that sparkled at night with fireflies.

It was an idyllic town at an idyllic time; the 1950’s in small town Canada.

Betty.

 

Also – her parents were batshit crazy.

Curiously things are rarely the way they’re historically remembered.  You can thank or blame it on television.  June Cleaver was probably agoraphobic, Andy Griffith a swinger and so on.  But because of television we romanticize the 1950’s as an era of wholesome, perfect families who wore ironed plaid pajamas.

My mother’s 1950’s family?  Her mom filled her days by wrapping up dead rats in pretty boxes and then leaving them on the sidewalk in front of their house.  The purpose of this?  So she could laugh her guts out when someone grabbed the present and ran off to unwrap their good fortune in private.  They were listed on the Social Register of Canada, owned a complete human skeleton and had curiosities around the house that bordered on pathological.

Their 3 kids, (my mother, uncle and aunt) survived remarkably intact and relatively sane.  Not so sane that they’re boring you understand, just sane enough to stay out of jail and/or the crazy-as-a-bedbug nuthouse as it was affectionally referred to in the ’50’s.

So when I walked up to my dear, elderly mother’s front door the other day to deliver a basket of strawberries I had just picked for her, it was with no surprise whatsoever when I stumbled upon this.

 

oh shit not you again mat

This is the reason in Kindergarden when asked to describe his grandmother, my nephew said she likes to drink beer and swear.  This is the reason when delicate people ask me to refrain from swearing on my blog and ask me what my mother would think, I just laugh.  This is the reason I’m tough and strong and have absolutely no fear of rats.

This is the reason I am the way I am.  You can thank or blame Betty and Betty’s parents and probably  Betty’s parent’s parents for it all.

And you can buy the very same mat right here.

I figured you’d like it because if you’re here, chances are we’re the same.  A band of people raised by a couple of nutjobs just trying to make things better for their kids than the nutjobs who raised them.  And so on.

Have a good weekend!

 

98 Comments

  1. Sheila Turchyn says:

    Nailed it. They’re in every family…just some people don’t tell ya. But they’re there!

  2. Milton says:

    What a wonderful gene pool, no wonder everyone loves Karen

  3. Lisa says:

    You go girls, both of you.

  4. brenda says:

    I would need to get a couple because my neighbours would steal my mat – like I wouldn’t know

  5. J says:

    yippee-i’m first to comment!

  6. Bethany Jones says:

    I don’t swing, but I would start for Andy Griffith.

  7. J says:

    nope-just suffering with a slow computer!

  8. TONI says:

    HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY NUT-JOB PARENTS ??? SPOOKY. MOM, MILDLY AFFLICTED BUT DAD WAS FULL-ON. HE LEFT US BOBBING AROUND IN THE TEXAS BAYOUS AFTER WANDERING OFF. I GREW UP DESPITE HIM & MARRIED INTO ANOTHER STRAIN OF KOOKS …….. SEEMS LIKE THERE’S A WEIRD ATTRACTION ONCE YOU’VE BEEN EXPOSED !!! MY GENERATION IS PERFECTLY NORMAL, DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY GENERATION? PERFECTLY NORMAL BUNCH. COME SIT A SPELL & LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY PERFECTLY NORMAL GENERATION ……

  9. Jasmine says:

    My favourite adjective for losers is still ‘asshead’ and I learned that one from you. So if batshit crazy is responsible for that gem, I’m okay with that.

  10. Jeanne McNeil says:

    Being a “non-delicate” soul, and not offended by much..I can totally relate to a bat shit crazy family history (myself probably included) Consider yourself blessed! I always enjoy reading about Betty…and LOVE her doormat!

    PS: Your feet look fabulous ;);)

  11. Kathleen Aberley says:

    I too, am a Grandmother who drinks beer (and wine and gin and tequila) and swears (a lot!). And I was / am the same when my son was growing up. So far so good! And I plan to continue in the same manner until I can no more!

  12. Kris says:

    Thank you Betty, and Betty’s parents, and Betty’s parent’s parents for Karen and her wicked sense of humour!

  13. karin says:

    i had an oh ‘shit oh shit this is a eulogy’ moment? Don’t do that to a sister. And then I thought, ‘is it a eulogy or an eulogy’? Only you and your readers will understand….

  14. Tina says:

    (The feet, that was my first thought, too!)

  15. lynn says:

    When we are young we have a tendency to think everyone older is a nut job. Then we get older an realize wait a minute they are not so nuts after all, they have just learned to enjoy life.
    An not care what others may or may not think. it’s a very very uplifting experience when you hit it. I say way to go Betty

  16. Jeanne McNeil says:

    Just sayin’..much better..

  17. Kennedy says:

    I am astonished that folks take time out of their days to email you comments like ” what would your mother think”. Is it me or isn’t that a perfect example of hypocrisy. If you’re commenting on a blog and leaving comments like that wouldn’t your own mother be mortified at your rudeness in leaving such a comment?

    Offended by swearing? On the internet? You have got to be shitting me.

  18. andy fairfax says:

    LOL – have a great weekend too 🙂

  19. Thandi says:

    I really need to get that may for my mum. She needs one. And all her neighbours would laugh and say “oh that funny, funny Madeleen”, but she’d be sitting on her back porch yelling “I mean it! Go away and leave me with my book and my beer!”

  20. holly says:

    I was just thinking the other day, how is your dear Aunt Jean doing. I was also wondering about your wonderful mother, and poof, you blog about her!! Thanks, Karen, for all you do, and how you do it.

  21. MrsChrisSA says:

    My family mat would say:

    If you did not bring wine
    Go home or go and get some!!

  22. Lynda says:

    Do batshit crazy people think they’re batshit crazy?

  23. Jack Barr says:

    I may have known your mom, Karen. I grew up in Renfrew in the 50s; well, actually the 40s and 50s, but on what was known as “the wrong side of the tracks”.
    Great mat, but you need some good ole garden dirt on those feet- these days, with all the rain in S. Ont. it’d be mud!

  24. Bev Rommens says:

    Yup 😀

  25. Kari in Dallas says:

    Totally relate, bought the doormat.

  26. Sandra Lea says:

    I would love to meet you mother, she sounds fabulous.

  27. Sabina Missana says:

    Perfect!

  28. Rose says:

    Gotta love that Betty of yours!

  29. Karen says:

    Ack, lol!! The feet! ~ karen!

  30. Karen says:

    Ha! OMG, no, it was not A eulogy. (I have no idea if it’s correct or not, but I always go by speech … how the word sounds not how it’s spelled). ~ k!

  31. Karen says:

    LOLOL!!! ~ karen

  32. jaine kunst says:

    My parents have a doormat that says GO AWAY. Antisocial, batshit crazy nuts. I get a little worried every now and then wondering when the DNA will kick in.

  33. Karen says:

    Hahahah. I can assure you I am not shitting you. 😉 I’m always astonished when people complain about anything at all. It’s not like I can give them their money back. ~ karen!

  34. Karen says:

    Good for her, lol. ~ karen!

  35. Karen says:

    Thanks Holly! And Aunt Jean is doing fine and dandy. She’s coming up on 103. Or is it 104? ~ karen!

  36. Karen says:

    Agreed. 🙂 ~ karen!

  37. Karen says:

    Oh it’s kicked in. It’s just a matter of when you will recognize it. 😉 ~ karen!

  38. Lynn says:

    You nailed it–my ‘give a damn’ got busted a long time ago. I tell the grandkids that I am the fun one–and I am right! The other grandmothers are boring-boring-boring!!! Nana Lynn swears & drinks & tries to enjoy everything! God–at least there are some compensations for getting older!

  39. Chris White says:

    Bwahahahaaaaa!!!!! Love ’em!

  40. Angelique Vela says:

    Thank you, Karen! I needed that. I’m still laughing. You and your are awesome!

  41. Heather says:

    Everyone ‘s normal til you get to know them.

  42. Jan in Waterdown says:

    I’m think she may have been double dipped! 😂

  43. Jenifer says:

    LOVE the doormat but if I put it out, it’ll probably land me back on the prayer list…might even get a special prayer meeting because I’ve exposed my young daughters! MY family is THAT kind of bat-shit crazy!! Oh, the stories I could tell!

    Might get that mat anyway, just for the entertainment value…

  44. Nicole says:

    My mother passed away in February or I would totally buy her this mat.

  45. Jan in Waterdown says:

    Money?
    There was money involved?
    Hells bells . . .

  46. Jan in Waterdown says:

    🍁 And on a totally different note, “Happy 150 Canada!!” 🇨🇦

  47. Linda in Illinois says:

    Love Betty (my mom’s name is Betty) and love the genetics. All Batshit crazy people should know each other. Glad to know you Karen. *wink*

  48. Jan in Waterdown says:

    My sincere sympathy on your loss . . . it hurts, I know. My mum would have liked that mat too but wouldn’t have admitted to it.

  49. Katie C. says:

    Your family is awesome!

    I remember a time when I was about 14, I was ignoring my grandmother for whatever reason. To get my attention she threw whatever food it was that she had in her hand at my head and said, “Hey bitch! I’m talking to you!”

    There was also the time my friend and I walked in on my mother standing over the sink, dropping old eggs into the garbage disposal, and saying, “Bombs away!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Optionally add an image (JPEG only)

  • About Karen

  • About Karen

  • My Latest Videos

Share150
Pin16
Email
The Art of Doing Stuff